Twins in the Same Classes?

Updated on October 20, 2013
M.N. asks from Tempe, AZ
24 answers

I have twin girls who are turning 5 on Halloween.Well we just moved and the girls are starting school Tuesday.The school offered to put both girls in the same classes.The girls are best friends but i dont know if they would wanna be sperated or together.One of them says "alone" and one says "together" because she is scared.Would you put them together or seperated?

*Even in different classes the girls will have the same lunch/recess.

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So What Happened?

They are very very identical so when we met the teacher,the teacher mixed them up!

My hubby and I talked to the girls.Both of the girls agreed to together.They are in PM kindergarten (12 PM-3 PM) We will keep them together till 2nd grade.

The teachers at the school said it is better to keep them together since there new.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

There is no right answer. Whether to keep twins together or separate is one of the biggest questions on the twinboard I read. Some people swear by keeping their kids together and some are certain separate is the way to go. For my family... I kept my girls together in kindergarten and I mostly think it was the right choice. My girls compared themselves more than I would have liked, but everything else was good. One of my daughters was pretty certain she didn't want to be in the same class as her sister, so this year in first grade I separated them. Once again, I mostly think it was the right choice. They do miss each other but they're happy and learning and making their own friends which is cool-- and the teachers they have match their personalities.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Having them in separate classes gives the non dominant twin a chance to develop her own strengths.
A lot of kids are a little scared when starting school but they get over it fairly quickly.
They both get a big chance to make new friends in separate classes and they are more likely to if they are not hanging together because they know each other so well and don't give other people a chance.
Even though they are very much alike they are individuals and will develop different strengths and weaknesses.

2 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

There is a pair of twins the same age as my daughter. In Kindergarten she had one twin in her class, and the other was in a different class. This year she has the other twin and the one twin is in a different class.

I think it's better for them if they're separated, but I don't have twins, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

1 mom found this helpful

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P.K.

answers from New York on

A move, new school. Keep them in the same class for this year.

5 moms found this helpful
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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

My father is an identical twin. There is a different need for twins that no one can truly understand outside that bond. Because they are starting a new school mid year, I would suggest keeping them together. It's hard enough starting on your own.

The one says she wants to be separated, but that can come next year once they have settled in with kids. I have learned, with my daughter in kindergarten this year, at this age girls are mean and it's just starting. It would be best for them to have each other as much as possible for the support.

Good luck with your decision!

4 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Keep them together. My husband is a twin and he is very adamant that you should keep the twins together. They will naturally separate as they get older and start switching classes. No need to cause undo stress on them or try to impose the discriminatory singleton view on them that if you don't separate them they can't become their own person.

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L.*.

answers from Chicago on

I would keep them together for at least a few years especially if one says together . After they get used to being in school, make friends , and get comfortable in their surroundings you can separate them . My boy/girls twins have been together the entire time . We were going to separate them this year (2nd grade) but the teacher said to keep them together one more year because they are making their communion and it would be easier for me .They don't bother each other so its not a problem . Most parents of twins that I know keep their kids together until at least 2nd grade . Hope this helps :0)

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J.W.

answers from Detroit on

I say keep them together. THey have been through enough changes right now. They won't be side by side all day long in class, but it will be a comfort.

I remember twins in my friend's little sister's grade. In kindergarten they would each just sand by the door and SOB for one another. To me that was too much. It defeated the purpose of trying to allow them to be individuals. (I will say the parents of these girls TOTALLY did treat them as individuals. They even each gave separate birthday party invitations to my friend's sister. They just had a super close bond, which I find beautiful!)

I understand the whole "let them be themselves", but they will, but they ARE sisters, so why fight it?

2 moms found this helpful

R.X.

answers from Houston on

I see so many adult siblings estranged that I say keep them together as long as you can. They will naturally separate years from now. If one is less outgoing than the other, she will not grow alone, she will become more introverted. Keep them together.

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I believe in separating them because it will give them both opportunities to meet and interact with other friends. Even though they are twins, they are individuals and they need to work on independence. They need to be seen by the peers as individuals, not as "the twins".

At our elementary school where I am a routine substitute, the twins are separated. They do have recess/lunch together and have PE together most days as well. Our lunch tables are assigned for each class so they may not get to sit together at lunch.

As for the scared one, that is completely normal. She'll adjust.

Best wishes.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

As a former teacher, I would probably separate them. However, my dearest friend has twins and they will be entering K next year. I see her struggles with this as well. Her girls have different personalities and also one wants to stay together while the other one maybe doesn't. It's hard!

I personally think you should try with them separate. I find that it might be easier in the long run to put them together but maybe not as easy to break them apart once they get going.

I will say that separating them will absolutely be harder for you. You will now have two kids in the same grade but with different teachers, different schedules, probably different homework assignments, etc. But, if it's right for the kids then it will be okay and it won't be too difficult to get through! ;) I also think you owe it to your child who wants to be separated to at least give it a try.

Good luck!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Most people I know with twins put them in separate classes, at least after K. Kindergarten is usually the only one they are deliberately in together, if the family chooses. Do you think that different classes will give the scared one a place of her own to shine? I think that this will have little to do with how close they ultimately are later in life. It's school, not moving one twin to a different house. My friend's sons are fraternal and they've seen in the past couple of years that one is ahead of the other in some subjects. Being in different classes allows them to be their own person without being judged for not being in the same reading group or whatever.

I would talk to the guidance counselor and/or the K teachers. Maybe there is one that is a better fit for one or the other child and they may do best with a teacher that fits their style best.

My DD has 2 teachers that work as a team, and there are twins in her team. They have different homerooms, but they are still "together" in the sense that if the school does a field trip, they will go together and have the same recess.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

My cousin has twin girls. When they entered school, she demanded that they be in the same class, always. You know when you have a big project to do in class, they could all do 2 at the same time, and work on their school work together, doing the same assignments and they could all participate together. This was easier than being in a different class and maybe not having the same assignment as the other class. It helped a great deal for her, but she also has 5 kids so was really busy with the other ones too.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I would separate them.

There are lots of twins at my kids' school.
Some were in the same class, some were separated from the get go.
For the ones that were 'together'...they were later separated. Being together did not help each individual, to grow/learn/behave and it was more of a problem when the twins were together.

No twin will be like the other.
One may be shyer. One may be "smarter." One may be funnier. One may be better at writing. The other better at different things. They cannot be compared.
At school they can have their own friends and autonomy and their own classroom etc. being separated.

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Our school usually separates twins, that seems to be what's recommended. What does your pediatrician say?

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I believe in separating them. All the twins (with the exception of the ones in the GT classes) are separated. It allows them to make their own friends and gain a sense of independence.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

All of my neighbors/friends with twins separated the kids in school.

See if you can take them in ahead of time to tour the school and meet with the teacher(s) - that may help the one who is scared. Sometimes the teachers can show them where they will sit and introduce them to a kid or two who are in the same section or have the next cubby, and that helps.

It may be tough because you've already asked them what they want, and they don't agree - so somebody's going to be upset and disappointed.

Also check - they may have the same lunch period, but they may have assigned tables and won't sit together. So before you promise that, find out the policy.

Also, are they identical? Sometimes it's harder for the other kids in the class if there are identical twins because they can't tell them apart. It slows down the "get-acquainted" process.

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

It really depends on the twins. I know one set that were together in K and 1st grade, they did really well. Spent 2nd grade separated and that went poorly. They were together again for 3-5 and that went well. They'll have to be separated for some classes in jr. high, but that should be fine.

I know other twins that have been in separate classes for years and they are thriving.

You know your twins best and it's wonderful that the school will accommodate your wishes.

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

My son has 2 sets of twins in his grade. Both families have split the kids up for now (they're in 1st grade) to help them forge their identities, but will have them in the same classes when they get older and the homework gets more complex. It'd be easier on you as a parent to be assisting with homework if they are getting the same assignments every night.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

It used to be that schools were smaller and there wasn't any choice. Kids did fine. I think you have to go with your heart on this.

Will the one who wants the sister with her be able to do okay without her in the long run?

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J.S.

answers from Phoenix on

I don't have twins, but my son and step daughter are exactly 1 month apart in age. They've grown up together since they were 17 and 18 months. They both turn 7 in November and December and are in 1st grade. So no inter utero bond like twins, but they are still close. We felt it would be best to have them in separate classes and requested that with the school. I know they still play together at recess, but they are able to make their own friends in class. They get the same homework packet, so homework is not an issue. Our neighbor has twin girls in kindergarten and they requested separate classes as well. One is more outgoing than the other, and they wanted them to be more independent from each other. Good luck!

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S.K.

answers from Houston on

Our twins are identical and they are best friends. In preschool they were together and always had the same friends. When they started kinder, we decided to separate them so they could develop their own friendships. They both do well in school but one is a little more advanced than the other and I didn't want that pressure between them. I also felt like it would be good for them to have time away from each other since they are always together outside of school. It was a good decision for our girls. We had a boy/girl set at our school and they were always in the same class and did fine with it. Do what you think is best for your twins.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

My town does together for k then separate.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I would put them in separate classes.

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