Twins Birthday Party - We Only Know 1 of the Kids - Do We Buy Both Presents?

Updated on January 15, 2012
M.O. asks from Barrington, IL
16 answers

My daughter has made a new friend at school. I don't know this child, we've never met the parents nor had the girl over for a playdate. My daughter insists they are "playground friends" (same grade, but not same teacher/class). So she really wants to go to the party, and I said yes.

The invitation says for "Adam and Olivia's Birthday"...we don't even know Adam. So do we have to buy a gift for him too?

This is all a little awkward for me because usually I know her friends and their parents. It's a little strange to buy a present for a child I know nothing about, so on top of it to buy another present for another child just makes it seem that much more strange.

Thanks for your input mamas!

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So What Happened?

I think I will buy something small for both. If it were one child, I'd probably buy one bigger gift for the birthday girl.

I understand there's no "rule" or "right" thing to do here, so thanks for your input.

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J.F.

answers from Bloomington on

Could you get them something to share? Like a board game or something? Address it to both kids? Since you don't really know the girl, I think this would be a great way to take care of two birds with one stone. :)

Otherwise, I would just get the present for the girl. The boys that were invited will get for the boy.

What age???

7 moms found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Denver on

I would buy something fairly inexpensive for both of them. You can get puzzles at the dollar store for each of them and then get some other small thing for each of them.

The other option is to get a joint gift, perhaps a board game that both girls and boys would like or some type of craft activity.

3 moms found this helpful

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A.G.

answers from Norfolk on

So as a mom of twins, know that it is awkward for us to. We want each of our children to have thier own friends, but it is really hard for us to have two seperate parties. I spent over an hour on the phone with a friend - another twin mom deciding if it was better to send out invitations with both or only one childs name to each of thier friends recently so the parents wouldn't feel uncomfortable going to a party for a child they didn't know (as in boy twin would give invites with his name to his friends, girl twin invites with just her name to her friends). Or would people feel even more awkward when they arrived at the bowling birthday party to find that there were two children celebrating. It was hard for us too decide. So no, I would not be offended if you only bought a present for one of the children. If it makes you feel bad then spend what you would usually spend on one child and buy a unisex present like a board game or book and adress it to both of them. Its about our children having friends, not about getting gifts so I don't think you really need to worry.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from New York on

Hello. I have twins and I would find it very thoughtful if you bought a share gift like a game as others have said and a very small dollar or two individual gift or divide the amount you normally spend to get two small gifts. My kids are 5 and they are thrilled when they get a gift they can call their own even if its a dollar store gift. They share so much on a daily basis so they treasure their individual gifts.

3 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

My son got invited to a party a couple of weeks ago for twin boys. The one boy is in his class and my son is friends with him, the other boy is in another class and my son doesn't know him. We got a present for the boy my son knows. I talked with the mom and she was totally fine with us doing that. Some of the gifts the boys opened were for the both of them and some were for one child or the other. There didn't seem to be any hard feelings.
Talk to the mother.
L.

3 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe just get a giftcard for a movie theater & put both of their names on the card.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

I really like the board game idea!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from New York on

I would buy a gift that's in your regular price range for the child your child knows and then a token gift for the twin. The parents really should have written the invation as Olivia's birthday party to her friends and another one saying Adam's birthday party for his friends. But since they didn't it's one of those nutty dilemmas. Buy Adam an action figure or nice book that's reasonably priced - and get Olivia waht you'd get her for any other kind of party.

Birthday parties get expensive - around here the standard gift range is $20 - $30. As much as I hated to do it there were parties we declined if my kid wasn't a close friend. It's tough becuase for elementary school age kids birthday parties are the total social scene and they really feel like they've missed something if they don't go - particularly if the kids are in the same class. On Monday the weekend party is all the buzz at school. You have to make decisions on these things one a time and you never really know for sure if it's the best decision.

Oh well! Another parenting dilemma - what a surprize!

2 moms found this helpful
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L.N.

answers from New York on

i think you should do what you want to do. as a mom of twins, f someone were to bring a gift for one twin and not another, i would have a very unhappy twin to deal with afterwards. it also depends on the age of twins, and if they are older to understand but if not and we are talking about less than 10 years old then yes get a gift each.

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L.C.

answers from Dover on

My daughter has a friend who has a twin brother. On her birthday we always get two gifts. If there's a party where each twin has his/her own friends there, then I think it's ok to take a pass, but if it's a smaller gathering I always worry. It never feels good to be left out. We don't make a habit of spending a ton of money on a present for a friend birthday party (as opposed to a family member), so buying two is no great inconvenience.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from New York on

I know you don't mean to be, but I would think it was totally rude to go to a twins birthday party and only bring one kid a gift. When you call to RSVP, ask what both kids would like. You don't have to spend a lot, I would say under 10 dollars per kid is just fine.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I simply would buy a gift for each. Keep it simple and inexpensive. We had a party last year where it was a boy/girl twin situation. I bought identical Crayola activity set for each. It worked out just fine.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I would just buy for the one your daughter knows. You're doing the mom a favor. Their birthday is right after Christmas, so the last think they need is more "stuff". If they invite 10 kids and each kid brings 2 presents, that's 20 more "things" to deal with--ugh!

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i don't think it would be a terrible thing if you didn't, but since you're already buying a present for the girl you barely know, why not make it a nice gesture and buy one for the boy too?
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.D.

answers from Detroit on

I have boy/girl twins and people buy for both. Something I learned from another twin mom is to invite girls as the guest of the girl twin and vice versa. I can understand your confusion.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Take your child's lead on the presents and buy them two small gifts so each has one something, like two books.

1 mom found this helpful
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