P.M. asks from Mechanicsburg, PA on October 12, 2011
Twice Exceptional Child - Mechanicsburg,PA
Our son, by definition of educators is "twice exceptional". That means he had a gifted level IQ, but has a disability. His disability is ADHD. I HATE using disability to describe his ADHD, but it's the textbook definition. For years, he has had a GIEP. We have had no accommodations made for his ADHD because it was our thought that in the "real world" (i.e. life after school), there would be no accommodations made. He has (in the past) had counseling to learn to manage his ADHD. He is also on a very low dose patch medication. We're now entering a whole new realm. He's in high school and there's so much to manage. He's a freshman with 1 AP class, 2 honors classes and a couple of other advanced classes (plus football and scouts for extra-curricular). The problem is that now that he's in high school, grades matter. His grades aren't bad, but they're not what they could be. The reason for this is missed assignments. He forgets to write it down, or forgets to do it. In addition, he just did a big project for his AP class, but did it on the wrong chapters so got minimal credit. So...I'm asking the question of parents and educators alike. Should we pursue an IEP to give him accommodations for his ADHD? I know it is within our legal rights to do so, but I'm just not sure what's in his best interest. If so, what type of accommodations would you put in it? His current grades don't reflect what he is learning and our concern is that this will hurt him when it comes to applying for colleges. We don't want to give him the signal that we think he can't handle this on his own...but maybe he can't?? Just not sure what it best.
So What Happened?™
AV - He is taking AP as a freshman because it's offered and he was recommended for it. I know it's unusual, but our district has been working to beef up the curriculum and has recently begun to offer AP to select freshmen. The AP class is not a struggle for him. Interestingly enough, he does better in the more challenging classes than the easier ones. His brain races, and if he's not engaged, his brain will drift and he might as well not even be there. The classes that are more difficult keep him more engaged, more focused. The grade in his AP class is better than in most of his less challenging classes.
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K.U. answers from Detroit on October 12, 2011
@AV - When I was in school, there was an AP English class for each grade - you had to take it each year to be able to take it as a senior and potentially test to get college credit. It just as easily could have been called Honors English.
Many schools now have it set up that you can view their assignments and homework daily on-line. That might help in being able to keep track of what he is actually supposed to get done.
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J.W. answers from St. Louis on October 12, 2011
I will tell you what I decided on my own, employers don't give out or give a rat's butt about IEPs! I could have got accommodations in college and graduated with a 4.0 and then lacked any coping skills to hold a job. Instead I graduated with a 3.8 and did it without anyone holding my hand.
My older daughter graduates this spring with a 3.9, again no IEP, no hand holding. She has always held down jobs well beyond the norm for kids her age.
So yes if a GPA is all that matters to you then go ahead and get the IEP, if life in aggregate means more then don't handicap your son with the IEP.
Look at it this way, you are running a race, someone moves the finish line up just for you and by crossing it first you still win, does that drive you to finish the race with everyone else?
Oh I also want to add I never allowed IEPs, nor did they want them, because it is easier to help them learn good study techniques while they are still at home. So another benefit to not getting one is he will be able to handle college. Shame you don't live in Cincinnati, my daughter loves helping kids with ADD learn how to learn. Then again one of my pet projects too.
If you did not get this from my words IEPs are the disability not the ADD.
Since I didn't mention it though it should be obvious every member of my family, sans my ex, are ADD.
4 moms found this helpful
J.V. answers from Chicago on October 12, 2011
I think it all depends on what you want to teach him. Do grades really matter? Do bad grades hold back exceptional people that test well? Is getting into a Harvard or Yale essential to his life happiness? Is your worth dependent on grades?
What will make him happy? I don't believe in grades, I think they are stupid, stressing causing mechanisms that have very little to do with learning (actually, all the research on this subject leads to this conclusion, I have a Ph.D in Ed Policy).
How about, instead of looking at this as him needing accommodations, how about helping him figure out a way to better organize? That seems to be the problem here. I'm sure he can handle it on his own, with the added help of some new organizers and a system of approaching all his home work.
3 moms found this helpful
A.V. answers from Washington DC on October 12, 2011
Question for you - why is he taking AP as a freshman? My stepkids have both done AP and I took AP myself. Many schools won't allow frosh to take AP. They're tough. Is he doing alright there or is he struggling under the workload? Is he planning to take more AP in the future (some schools have traded in Honors for AP)?
I don't have answers for you regarding the ADHD, but I do think that you are right to be thinking about it even if you don't use an IEP. Honestly, my nephew tried to make it without any medications and any accommodations or any help and he ended up leaving school (and getting a GED instead). He did swimmingly in summer school...but failed everything the rest of the year. I don't know all his parents tried, but maybe there are alternative education options for him that you should explore. Do his teachers put things online? Many times my SD can check EdLine and find out her work, or call classmates. Her only problem is being forgetful, and EdLine's saved her often. Or can you speak to the teachers and talk to them about it? They know he's doing the wrong work or missing assignments and maybe they need to know why and maybe they've been down that road before and have ideas.
Frankly, the transition to HS (or HS to college) can be hard for many kids. Is it his ADHD or being 14? My SD used to rush her work and HS teachers didn't give her the slack that MS teachers did. My niece won a writing competition....and nearly didn't graduate because she didn't turn in work, and she didn't have any additional problems. She was just not organized and a little lazy. She had to take summer school. Really smart kids can do really dumb things, with or without anything else going on.
Sometimes, you need to sit down with your kid and say, "It's not that I don't believe in you, but everybody needs an extra oar sometimes. Let's work together to get this boat going the right way." There have been times when the sks were relieved that we offered an oar because they were going backwards and didn't know how to handle it. That's part of what parents are FOR.
Friend of ours' son went to a college program that was geared toward students with ADD/ADHD. I could ask which one, but you can probably Google it. It was in part to help them cope their first year and get them on their feet with skills they could use down the road. Eventually he will have to figure out what works for him.
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K.U. answers from Detroit on October 12, 2011
@AV - When I was in school, there was an AP English class for each grade - you had to take it each year to be able to take it as a senior and potentially test to get college credit. It just as easily could have been called Honors English.
Many schools now have it set up that you can view their assignments and homework daily on-line. That might help in being able to keep track of what he is actually supposed to get done.
1 mom found this helpful
K.C. answers from Orlando on October 12, 2011
You are in a tough spot, I"m not sure what I would do either. I just wanted to offer you a little support. You are doing a great job, keep trying to work with him at writing things down and remembering on his own. Maybe get him a homework planner and start a habbit of you checking it everyday, so that eventually (hopefully within the next 4 years!) it will be so automatic to him to write down something at the end of each class that he won't even have to think about it by the time college comes around. At least in college most professors will give out a list of dates that everything is due right at the begining of the semester, so he can write it all out in the beginingin and then check what needs to be done each day.
Also another poster mentioned that being 'twice exceptional" was blowing smoke up you hiney. I'm sure you meant that gifted is exceptional education as well as ADHD being exceptional education. Hince the twice. I agree with you and rude people should keep comments to themselves. I wonder what it would be like to be able to fix everyone. :) must be nice.
1 mom found this helpful
B.W. answers from Minneapolis on October 12, 2011
I think he sounds like my 9yr old, who has Aspergers and is in gifted ed classes and excelling in school. He has a homework book and his teachers remind him (and the other students) to write things down as they are talked about in class, and he is so much better at it now than ever before. This year he's only needed the regular teacher to entire class reminders.
Would something like that work for him? Would the teachers cooperate in making sure he writes it down?
J.S. answers from Chicago on October 12, 2011
The great thing about IEPs is that you review them every year. Just because your son might need an accommodation this year, doesn't mean he'll need one next year.
I say go for it. You can always drop it.
Your son has a lot on his plate and needs some help - he's still a kid and not in the "real world" just yet. I think if he can establish some homework organizational habits NOW, he'll have an easier time later on in life.
Good luck!
R.M. answers from San Francisco on October 12, 2011
Many boys at his age aren't well-organized.
Is your son okay with a little micromanagement? Most kids aren't, but maybe your son won't mind if you double-check with teachers about assignments, etc., till he gets on top of it.
As far as getting minimal credit for the big project: I think you should talk to the teacher. In 9th grade, if he actually does the work, and does it well, but does it on the wrong chapters, the teacher should give him full credit for it. Any teacher who won't IMO isn't a very good teacher.
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