37 answers

Tweens and Bikinis

So I just helped supervise my 6th grade daughter's end of year swim party. About two-thirds of the girls had bikinis on, not modest ones either. Tops were strapless or little triangles. Bottoms were mostly pretty basic bikini bottoms, but a few had nothing more than little strings on the sides. My daughter and a few others had tankinis with little to no skin showing between the top and bottom. I know there will be a wide range of opinions out there, but I'll ask anyway to see if I am being unreasonable. Does anyone else think it is inappropriate for girls this young to wear bikinis, especially to a school function?

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So What Happened?™

Thanks everyone for your respectful opinions. My daughter didn't ask for a bikini, but she also knows I am pretty strict on what I allow her to wear and do not buy into "everyone else's parents let them." And when I say strict, I mean covered from shoulder to mid thigh with regular clothes. I don't think that is extreme. She is 11 years old still, the youngest in her class, most have turned 12 already. She won't be 12 until a month after school starts. The problem is she is tall, trim, and log-legged and often gets mistaken for about 13 or 14. I am guessing next year she will actually ask to have a bikini, so I have a year to think about it :)

Featured Answers

California (and many other) girls have been wearing bikinis since the 60's/70's.
I choose not to focus on sexuality when it comes to young girls.
Let them enjoy their bodies while they can, "society" will soon enough tell them how dirty and shameful they are, I say let them be innocent for now.

11 moms found this helpful

I agree with you. Young girls are sexualized at a much too young age today. A string bikini has no place at a school function.

6 moms found this helpful

I dont think it's unusual or inappropriate.
I was one of those girls back in the day.
6th grade, meh.
It's the 16 yr olds in bikinis that you need to worry about.

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

California (and many other) girls have been wearing bikinis since the 60's/70's.
I choose not to focus on sexuality when it comes to young girls.
Let them enjoy their bodies while they can, "society" will soon enough tell them how dirty and shameful they are, I say let them be innocent for now.

11 moms found this helpful

Hi R.-

I did not fight the 'bikini' battle with my girls...Probably because my mom refused to let ME wear one (she said I had to wait until a man got me a diamond for my navel...LOL).

My girls, starting at that age, have selected reasonably modest bikinis...and they each have at least one 'one piece' for serious swimming/diving/ocean waves.

I guess I am less concerned with 'what' they wear...and MOST concerned with their manners/behavior while wearing whatever...ya know?

Best Luck!
michele/cat

7 moms found this helpful

I agree with you. Young girls are sexualized at a much too young age today. A string bikini has no place at a school function.

6 moms found this helpful

The little girls in my neighborhood run around in tiny bikinis too (by little girls, I mean the oldest one is about 12). My son (5) and I were playing in our backyard last night and the neighbors had a bunch of girls over playing in their pool. The girls came over to see my baby and my son looked at them and said, "Why do you only have undies on?" The girls just giggled and said that they were swimming, to which he replied, "Where's your swimming suits?" Good questions, little man :)

I know it is considered fashionable, but I have always thought they are inappropriate for children (even when I was a kid).

6 moms found this helpful

yes! And there are other clothing options that are just as inappropriate for little girls. We don't need to start them on such skimpy clothing at these early ages.
Even in our home daycare situation, if we have a hot day and put out the wading pool, we ask the parents to provide a one piece bathing suit for the girls.

5 moms found this helpful

Oh my goodness, my 12 year old niece has the TINIEST bikini. So much so, I actually questioned what the hell my parents were thinking. I actually saw MEN staring at her and leering. It's not like she is a curvy, busty womanly looking tween. She looks every bit of a 12 year old, probably younger. Her bathing suit covered LESS then her underwear. I simply can't understand how a parent would WANT their young girl to have their body parts on display. I find it disgusting on all levels. Men are PIGS. Will they look at her even covered? Maybe, but their eyes will likely wander to another young girl who has more skin to see. At least, there wouldn't be parts to see, if they were covered. While I don't see these girls in a sexual way, I have noticed plenty of grown men who do.

I wish, I seriously wish...parents would have sense to teach their children modesty. Modesty does not have to mean covered head to toe, in draping clothing. You can still be stylish, cute, and have fun with bathing suits and clothing while being modest. People don't value modesty anymore, not even for their own children. It's incredibly sad, and explains SO many things about our society. Also, body comfort and confidence...has nothing to do with how little one is willing to wear. I find it sad we begin to equate love of our bodies, with how close to naked we are willing to be. Why do we tell tween girls (who already have all the body pressure in the world) to be comfortable, you should be OK with wearing something that barely (and often doesn't) cover your private parts.

4 moms found this helpful

I dont think it's unusual or inappropriate.
I was one of those girls back in the day.
6th grade, meh.
It's the 16 yr olds in bikinis that you need to worry about.

4 moms found this helpful

ohmygoodness I went to our local pool yesterday and there were middle schoolers running around all over the pool with their teensie bikinis and it seriously scares me. Simply because at that age a lot of children do not realize the impact it creates. They look just fine, but they are not always mature enough to handle comments or so on. I don't think you are being unreasonable, you are just concerned.

4 moms found this helpful

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