Turning 50 & Not Happy

Hello D.:

Go to Amazon and as fast as you can, order Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. It's not a diet but a lifestyle that not only WILL help you lose weight (20 pounds in six weeks), but will also heal most medical conditions. This New Jersey M.D. has helped so many people, even reversing heart disease and diabetes (severe cases). His arguments are compelling and extremely well documented (primary and secondary sources). The foreword is written by Dr. Metma Oz (I think I have that right. I understand he is very popular but have not had a television for many years and thus have not kept up with popular culture).

For six weeks the formula is this (and then later some foods can be added): 1 pound of raw veggies, 1 pound of steamed veggies, 1 cup of legumes, and 4 fruits a day--no more than 12 ounces a week of animal protein. No oils.

I know three people who did this and went down to their natural weight which is way below the typical goal of most in a few months. I'm easing into it myself but I've lost 10 pounds and kept them off. All of these people kept their weight off over the years and they lost roughly 30 pounds each.

A good source of delicious recipes is (I think) www.fatfreevegan.com. Most of them conform to Dr. Fuhrman's diet.

You cannot go wrong with this!

J. Marie

A little about me:

Fifty-six year old mother of 4 grown sons and community college reading/English teacher and freelance editor/writer

2 moms found this helpful

Hi D.,

I turned fifty last year and know exactly what you're talking about. The thing that bothers me the most is that my 2nd and last daughter is leaving for college and now I'm not as needed any more. I have been a full-time mom for 22 years! In a way, women are lucky since we can redefine our lives a bit, but it's scary to not be just 'mom' anymore. About the weight, I had a similar situation, (as did my husband), and we both went on Isagenix, and have lost a considerable about
of weight and both feel (and look) much better. It cleanses your body of toxins and helps to reduce the fat cells and gives you more energy and reduces the cravings for caffeine, carbs and sugar with no stimulants. It's completely natural. I have quite a few friends who are on this program as well. It was formulated by doctors. If you're interested, email me (____@____.com) or call me at ###-###-####. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

Bah Humbug.. Being happy has so much more to do with love relationships and health than just clothes size.. You could change your clothes size but your would still be running a taxi service.. You dont say how old your daughter is .. but if you are in the taxi stage.. sometimes I think the discontent comes from her getting her own life and now what are you supposed to do..??
:) Join a gym cause ya wanna ... join a women's group cause ya wanna.. volunteer or be more active in the church..

1 mom found this helpful

I have a weight watchers calculator. I do not pay to go I use my calculator and count to points myself. I will email this to you if you send my your email. You just input the calories, fiber and fat and it twells you how many points. It sounds like you are lacking motivation. Maybe you can speak to the doctor about dieting stratigies with a thyroid condition. Or maybe alternate medication. Make a plan and stick to it. I personally do not see a need to pay anyone to weigh me so let me know if you want me to email it to you.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.!! Well CONGRADS on your milestone year!!!!

In regards to the weight loss I say stick with Weight Watchers... Besides surgery it's the best alternative..
I have been a weight watchers do-er for the last year, and I'll admit I have my weeks where I am like that's it, I quit I have no motivation. But in the grand scheme of things it the closest thing out there to being a lifestyle and not a diet.. Are you on points?? If thats not working for you try Core?
I understand about your thyroid issue, my mom attends WW with me and she is on meds for her thyroid as well. Unfortunetly she has to work harder at loosing weight. But she has finially hit her 25lb mark!!!!! It took a year of ups and downs but she did it. I know you can too!
I am far from my goal weight (trust me) but I really do enjoy going. I'm not sure where you live, but I go to the Fairfield location and the coordinators there are GREAT!
Keep us updated on your progress and know we have all been in that unmotivated rut!! :)

1 mom found this helpful

Go out and buy a great outfit that looks good on you. Don't look at the size, it has to fit! Buy one of those miracle-shaper things to wear under it that look like biker shorts - they're cheap, at Macy's, and WORK!! Then get a great haircut. Then get a great lipstick. I don't care what it all costs - charge it and pay it off in installments if you have to - you need to feel and look good! Once you look better, you'll feel better and you'll DO better.

1 mom found this helpful

When you joined weight watchers in the past, were you on thyroid medication? You may not have lost weight because other factors were at play. I, too, have put on a considerable amount of weight over the years, little by little. Remember, we didn't get this way overnight and there is no quick fixes. Having said that, I'm left wondering if you have really lost your sense of self and become a bit depressed. Find something that you really enjoy doing that gets you out of the house....learn something new, take up photography and go for hikes through some of our local parks, volunteer your time...I think that if you move beyond thinking about weightloss and get busy living a full life that includes yourself as a priority, you won't gain anymore, will be less depressed and little by little you will lose some. Then, when you are feeling better about your inner being, you can step it up with exercise and diet.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.! Celebrate! I just turned 53 and I am also overweight. Still carrying around my 27 year old daughter's "Baby fat"! But, I have learned to celebrate each and every day as a gift! I had breast cancer at 42, and truthfully never thought I would see 53 or my first grandchild! I did! My family and friends love me, I know that. I try to eat healthy as much as possible, I force myself to get on the treadmill, and when I do, I feel better. That is what helps me loose the weight, excercise to move my metabolism, and I must eat smart. At least 3 healthy meals a day, I would go all day not eating and then be starving at dinner, only to gain weight! What's up with that???? I realize I have to work with this mature model of a body and enjoy every day. I see my Mom at 85, just miserable and waiting to die each day...I don't want to be like that. I am here for a reason and so are you! Let's make a difference! Be the best Taxi Gramma there is, that is where you are planted...so BLOOM!

1 mom found this helpful

I can appreciate your concerns. It is very difficult when you are trying to diet and you don't lose what you expect. The one thing I did notice is that you didn't mention exercise. I have recently lost a bunch of weight and I did it with a combination of portion control and exercise. I ate what I wanted, just smaller amounts of everything. Try keeping a food journal - when I started to write down what I was truly eating every day, I was surprised to see that I was really eating much more than I thought I was (picking on the kids food and while making dinner...I was eating enough for a meal! and then I would sit down for dinner with my husband when he got home!). Also, you need to do some exercise. Start with a walk every night after dinner, maybe 30 minutes or so. Work yourself up to getting into the gym and have a trainer find a good routine for you to follow. There are a ton of places who are running "Biggest Loser" competitions...it helps to have company when you are trying to change your life. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

D., if you are healthy & happy and have a good man, that is all that matters. Don't try dieting, just eat healthy, any size can look beautiful.Have fun while you are young!! because I guarantee when you are turning "60" you will wish you were turning "50". And besides what is the alternative?? Happy "50"th birthday.

1 mom found this helpful

I'm going to be 59 in a few days and am overweight and look in the mirror and wonder what happened but I remain very happy with myself and age and looking forward to sixty! Be grateful to be on this planet nobody sends us postcards from the beyond to say how wonderful it is in heaven. Weight loss with a thyroid condition is eat less move more it actually works! Don't let the scale do you in as long as you don't go up that is great and sometimes you go up because of water retention put yourself first and love you first!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.,
The best thing you can do for your self is to join a small group of people working toward the same goal at a gym. I joined my community Women on Weights (weight-lifting) group 12 years ago. We strangers started with a trainer the first six months, then we just continued working out 3 times a week, and we have encouraged each other and have become great friends. Good Luck, Deb.
L.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.;

I noticed that a lot of women are talking about support in all of this. I, myself, struggle with weight issues and was thinking about starting a weight management support group. Is anyone interested?

A.

1 mom found this helpful

I understand exactly how you are feeling. I turned 40 in November, and for weeks before I was depressed. I also have one daughter (6yrs old) and I have gained weight over the years.

I recently read an amazing book called The Seven Pillars of Health by Dr. Don Colbert, and learned quit a bit of wonderful things. Drink lots of water, excersise, get enough sleep, eat right, manage stress.

We must keep our bodies in motion. I don't have a gym membership, so I work out at home doing floor excersises, my neighbor and I go for walks in the morning around the block, and I drink alot of water (the first thing we need to do when we get up is drink a glass of water) we lose alot of water. I also drink organic green tea 3x a day, i like the Yogi weight control green tea, it tastes great and works!

You need to try to schedule some time for yourself, even if it means getting up a hour early. You have total control over what it is you want to change. Say I will change my eating & weight. I will excersise every morning, I will eat better. But you have to be diligent and keep going, it takes 21 days to form a habit, so try for 21 days to excersise, even if it is only a walk. As you know our metabilism (spelling??) slows as we get older, so you need to jump start it.

I don't know if you believe in God, but I watched Dr. Creflo Dollar on TBN this morning (i watch him every morn)and he said in order to change you must decide to change, have the desire to change, deepen your knowlege (read books, look up etc) and have deligence, day after day. Make your mind up you can't change yourself by sitting down, feeling depressed & sad. You must do something about it, but never ever give up & quit. Keep pressing on, make a plan for yourself.

Sorry this is long, but my final suggestion is to get the book I said earlier, it will change your thoughts. Try to think positive, not negative. It will be hard some days, but think of the outcome, and how good you will feel.

I wish you the best of luck, and may God bless you with your journey...

I am a stay at home mom & I change womens lives with my awesome & rewarding Mary Kay business. Visit my 24/7 website at www.marykay.com/lbaumgartner1.
L.

1 mom found this helpful

Just wanted to pass along a smile :) to help encourage you to meet your goals for the year!

1 mom found this helpful

I'm turning 50 too. I can't say I'm unhappy about it but I certainly don't like the extra weight I'm seeing in the mirror. After 25 yrs of marriage and running taking care of kids, parents, grandkids I've become a frump! Somewhere along the way I forgot to take care of myself.

I've decided that starting next week I'm going to take my lunch half hour and go for a walk BY MYSELF! No kids. No hubby. No friends. Just me at my own pace.

1 mom found this helpful

I joined Overeaters Anonymous and it was great for me. Go to www.oa.org for info on meetings in your area. It's a 12-step program (similar to Alcoholics Anonymous). It's about more than the weight -- it would really help with your depression. It did for me, anyway. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.,
How did we get here so soon???? It is so hard to find yourself after re-designing yourself to be everything to others.
I think you need to take a step back and start thinking about what you want to do with the rest of your life. Your problems with weight and self esteem are symptoms of your lack of passion and sense of identity. If you can address those issues, the rest will fall into place. It is not an easy road, and you will not always be supported, but true happiness comes from finding your own path and following it.
You are not alone. Most mother's our age are in the same boat.
Maybe you can start a group to work to this end. It is so much easier to share these challenges.
Good luck!
You are worth it !
P.

1 mom found this helpful

You can't lose weight with diet alone. You have to work out. Ideally aerobic exercise & weight training will do the trick. But you'll want to start off slowly. Just walk at a fast pace every day for 30 minutes and you'll see the difference in just a couple of weeks. Then that will give you enough motivation to continue.

1 mom found this helpful

Get the book "Younger You Next Year"
It has bright pink cover.
It is very motivational, straight foward talk about excercise. No dieting. Just common sense. It got me going again. Don't focus on weight loss. Set a goal to get healthy and make it your job. One hour a day!!
Wishing you the best!

1 mom found this helpful

Thyroid conditions are not easy to deal with at any point in life. You might want to ask yourself what you really want. When you put your mind to it, you can do anything. You also need to think positive. I was told that because of my health, I would not be able to have children. I gave birth the week after my 40th birthday.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.,

While I may have suggestions and opinions of my own, they really don't matter much in this situation. What does matter is what you think, who you want to be and what you are willing to do to become the person you are longing to be. So, what would getting control of your life look like? What is it that really excites you? What is it that weight loss would really give you? What is it that you are truly longing for right now, who are you longing to be?

You are at a really exciting place D., even though it may not seem like it right now, and you hold the key to it all!

Blessings,
C.

1 mom found this helpful

i think that when it comes to wanting to lose weight its like takeing baby steps. dont think about the pounds, think about the energy you will gain. my husband is in the need of losing weight, and i tell him dont look at the scale it will only discourage you. walking is a big thing, if you are able to walk for a while do it and try to use some weights along with it. 50 is only a number and you are as young as you feel, be positive. do something nice for youself, go get a facial, a massage, a makeover or buy some new clothes. start the year off with a new out look on life.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.,

I just turned 48, so I'm there with you as far as age goes. I have been and still am focusing most of my attention on my three children and my husband. My children are ages 18, 14 and 7 and even the oldest still lives at home. One thing that I began doing over the past year is meeting with a "Life Coach" to help me set some goals about what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm currently a stay-at-home mom, and I think I'm in the right place, but I do need to learn to focus a bit more on what I need to do to take care of myself. The weight creeps up on all of us, especially after 40 it seems. One thing that helps is to get active. Find a friend so you can motivate each other and start walking! Do something nice for yourself, perhaps a new hairstyle or color or a new outfit. Something that makes you feel good about yourself;[p'.

I also have a spiritual advisor (priest) and am active in a faith community. I find lots of support there. Support is important when you are trying to make positive lifestyle changes. Diets per se won't work...we need to make permanent changes in the types and quantities of foods we eat as well as our level of activity. Start by taking baby steps and focus on one day at a time.

Wishing you all the best!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Deb!
Didn't you know that Fifty is the New Thirty?! I know how you feel. I was always so-so wife, so-n-so mother, so-n-so sister and eventually lost myself taking care of everyone else. I had to do something for me. I went back to school. I meditated and read the Bible. I took time to nuture and give back to myself. Take an art class or cooking class. Just remember to be Good to yourself like you are to others. I've learned to look for the gift in evry situation, learn the lesson but most of all treasure the journey getting to know yourself. GOOD Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Last night we were laying in bed watching TV and that new comercial about turning 40 came on. My hubby and I just turned to each other and said "Darn I don't even remember that" then cracked up because we were both saying it at the same time.

First question is do you have any friends of your own?
I say this because it was a HUGE issue for me. I met my husband at the age of 14. I realized after my kids got older that I never in my life was able to be BETH. First I was a good little girlfor mom and dad, Then I was rich's girlfriend, then his wife (married at 18), then the mother of his children. NEVER WAS I ABLE TO BE JUST ME! I resented that when I realized that. Don't get me wrong I was loved and loved in return my whole life and it has nothing to do with lack of attention.

Until about 2 years ago I never realized that all my friends were my husbands too. I found that I needed my own friend's so I joined a bowling league, a camera club and a quilting guild. The point is get OUT, have fun and don't think about what you may look like on the outside. Think about making you feel good about what you have on the inside that you like. Make a list and look at it when you start to feel a little down. Once you go out and find out who DEDDIE is and not your husbands wife or mother of his children. BE YOU. Make time for you!!!! You worked hard and deserve it. No you don't have to do expensive things. Volenteer 1 or 2 nights a week. Help out with a comunity project or at the libuary. I did that and got to see a lot of little kids making crafts. Or read to them. Just do something for you! Walk with a friend or group of walkers depending on your area. If you walk with a friend you will find that by talking to her you will be working on your own self esteem at the same time without even realizing it. I look at each year that goes by as that many years wisier I am then the 20- 30 year olds that really don't have a clue as to what life has waiting around the corner for them.

After you find out who you are then you can really start working on the outside. I for one think that the DIET thing is a racket to get you to buy their products. Just do your best to eat healthy and at home as much as possible. I have started drinking Aloe vera Juice to keep my system moving. I mix a little with some fruit juice and it works and tastes better then anything else I have tried.

You can do and be whatever you choose to be. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D. Q,
Losing weight is difficult, and is often a comples adjustment for not only your body, but your lifestyle,as well. To help make this transition and goal for your life easier and less stressful, Symmetry a herbal product company that I represent has designed a program that contains products supporting, detoxifying and nourishing your body during the weight loss process, so you can feel healthy, satisfied and energetic. These products include ingredients to help you: Efficiently burn calories for energy, stay energized while you diet, adjust to weight loss, lose excess water and impurities, maximize weight loss as you sleep and block the absorption of dietary fat and/or carbohydrates.
Please visit my website www.symmetrydirect.com/ACAMBRIDGE

1 mom found this helpful

I lost 40 lbs. last year. I enlisted the help of friends who were in a similar boat as me. They wanted to take better care of themselves and loose some weight. We started our on little (only three people) club. We would meet one evening a week, weigh in, discuss our week- our difficulties, as well as our targets for the next week.
We went to the local library, checked out the most popular current diet and health books. We read them all, returned them and used the best info from each of them. We would also meet three mornings a week and walk and talk for an hour before work.
I have tried to lose weight on my own and found it so much more helpfull to have others in on it with me. I also think it is really inportant to be forgiving of yourself when in this process. For me losing weight was offen a 2 steps forward one step back process, but here I am 10 months later and the weight is still off. I went
from a size 16 to a size 8 and I love it! Good luck!!

D.;
First:
I am not here to sell you anything, but to help in an area that I have tried every diet known to man on earth! None of them gave me any sustained success like this one. So with that being said, let me tell you what I have found.

I too have thyroid and wieght challenges...since 10 years old, literally all my life.

Do not be discouraged, diets do not work! It truley is about lifestyle. I have learned the difference in the foods I choose to eat and what supplements to use.
Last year I followed a program, the Transitions Lifestyle System, and from Oct 16th til Feb 14th, I lost a total of 47 pounds and four pant sizes. Now, a year later and I have kept off 40 because I have become lazy in the past few months. I am ready to turn it up a notch. I have led twelve week groups successfully and can help others online with it as well...it is a Low Glycemic Program that focus on Body Composition through exercise, LGI foods, and relaxation. It has all the support functions you will ever need. If I can do it, so can you! We will do it together.

When I help others, it also in turns helps me stay on track too!

Feel free to just email me and chat...

Hi D.,
I sure do understand. I am fighting the extra weight too, always a battle. I, too, am heavier that when I had my 5th baby, a huge over 10 pound boy, 33 years ago. I would be delighted to weigh that pregnant weight now!!! I have tried many diets, lost weight , just to put it back on again. I have done hypnosis, It worked well and then did not. The best program, a life time program that I have recently found, is Overeater's Anonymous. It is a 12 step program like AA, a program to make your life better. You can find it on the web. Meetings in your area will be posted. Give it a try.
A LITTLE ABOUT ME: Turning 70 this summer, happy about ME, not my weight.