H.W. asks from Winchester, CA on May 13, 2008
Tubes Tied or Vasectomy?
Well, I am almost 25 years old. I have a 2.5 year old boy and I am 6 months pregnant with a little girl. Parts of me think I may want another child in my future.. but I am also a nursing student and really want the opprotunity to devote time ot my education and career without the worry of getting pregnant again. My last pegnancy was a ectopic rupture in which I almost lost my life. SO I am at the point where I feel that if I were to risk my life and the possibility of another tubal pregnancy when I already have 2 children, that would be really selfish. ALso, I am not able to take the pill everyday (I have tried). And most IUD's and long term birth control that doesnt require a daily commitment isn't available to women who have had tubal pregnancies.
I also think that adoption or foster care would be a much better option for my husband and I in the future. My question is should I have my tubes tied after delivery, or should my husband have a vasecotomy? He is more than willing, but if I am already in there should I just have it done? I have heard the vasecotomy is easier to reverse, which I cant imagine we would ever do, but it is something to consider. I plan on speaking with my OB about this, but wanted to get some advice from other moms. Thanks!
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N.J. answers from Los Angeles on May 13, 2008
Vasectomy is supposed to be a lot easier on him than a tubal will be on you. If he's willing go for the vasectomy, let him do it. We are waiting until my husband is 35, I was just put on Nuva Ring birth control. So far, its great, no worrying about a pill everyday, doesn't look like an old band-aid after a day like the patch did and it doesn't have the side effects that the shot has.
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D.M. answers from Los Angeles on May 15, 2008
Well, I am had the same experience as some of the other ladies. My husband volunteered and then wouldn't do it. Even his father got involved.(something I can't forgive) When he finally went through with it our lives seemed so carefree. No more worring and fussing with birth control. Sex was so much more enjoyable, my husband thought he married a new women. I don't think you should do either one if you are not sure though. Reversals are costly either way and they frequently make it very difficult to conceive in the futrue when you will be less furtile anyway. Good Luck
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E.H. answers from Los Angeles on May 14, 2008
H., I would have the tubes tied. I had this done after my daughter was born on the same day and it was piece of cake. I was a little older than you when I decided to do this because I already had twin boys age 9 at the time. But was so glad to have my little girl. As you stated if you and your hubby decide later you want another child adoption would be a great choice.
N.J. answers from Los Angeles on May 13, 2008
Vasectomy is supposed to be a lot easier on him than a tubal will be on you. If he's willing go for the vasectomy, let him do it. We are waiting until my husband is 35, I was just put on Nuva Ring birth control. So far, its great, no worrying about a pill everyday, doesn't look like an old band-aid after a day like the patch did and it doesn't have the side effects that the shot has.
B.R. answers from Los Angeles on May 13, 2008
We are in exactly the same boat, minus the tubal pregnancy. However, I am giving birth in a birthing center, so it would still require a seperate trip for me (not that that would influence my decision, I don't think). I would go for the vasectomy- as you said, it's reversible, so even though you don't think you'll change your mind you have that chance if you do. Also, there are a lot fewer side effects for a vasectomy and it is a lot less invasive. My mom had a tubal and no side effects, but many women have early onset menapause and other ucky things happen after a tubal. It's what we've decided to do- and we're on the same page with the adoption thing. If we want more kids, why contribute more to the overpopulation of the world? We'll have our two (although my husband will probably regret it if this one isn't a boy, we don't know yet). But do some research on the side effects if you're not sure.
M. answers from Las Vegas on May 14, 2008
My husband had the vasectomy. I wouldn't consider having my tubes tied unless I had a c-section and even then it was questionable. I like knowing that the vasectomy can be reversed and that I am still fertile even though we are done having kids. Also, tubes can come untied and can create a permanant pooch. That happened to my friend and her aunt. They are both skinny (even after 3 kids) and now have swollen looking stomachs since having their tubes tied. Once your husband does it and it is confirmed that the procedure is a success, then your worries are over.
C.C. answers from Reno on May 14, 2008
A Tubal Ligation would be optimal if you end up having a c-section because you will be laid up either way. But if you end up having a vaginal birth you can be much more active post pardom and I wouldn't opt for the surgery for myself in that case. A Vasectomy is much less evasive and your husband can go about his day after with very little pain. My philosophy is that if my last delivery is a c-section I will have my tubes tied but if it's vaginal I would want my husband to have the Vasectomy. Why be on bed rest if you don't have to and your husband could have a quick snip and go about his day as usual? Those are my thoughts on it.
A.D. answers from San Diego on May 16, 2008
I had my tubes tied hours after del'y and wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I had my 3rd child at the end of march so have experienced 2 "normal" recoveries (after vaginal births) and then a recovery not only from delivering, but this surgery. My recovery from my first 2 children was virtually painless I had no problems up and running around hours after del'y. but not this time. The first few nights, I was in alot of pain, hard to move around, hard to lay down but couldn't sit up etc. I probably could have let the nurses care for my baby to help me, but I wanted to stay with her every minute since I knew that she was my last one. I know that some people have had it done, though not after del'y and they thought the recovery wasn't very bad, but to add recovery from a surgery on top of del'y was a huge shock to my body. Also, during the surgery, I could sense my body being moved around in which I'm sure added to the shock my body went through. I am much older than you 38, and have never had surgery so I may just be a wimp, but I would rather deliver a hundred more babies than do this ever again!
J.C. answers from San Diego on May 13, 2008
Vasectomy. It's easier on him (a day or two in recovery vs. months for you) and he doesn't have to get it checked every 5 years to make sure nothing has come lose or slipped. You will.
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