Trying to NOT Get Pregnant

Updated on June 30, 2010
L.S. asks from Princeton, TX
15 answers

My husband and I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. We were planning on me getting an IUD but found out that the cost is out of our price range. Ive been on the pill for 2 months now but Im so scared that it is not enough protection. I have heard of so many people, several from my husbands family, getting preg on the pill. I thought if I was on the pill and could avoid my ovulation times that it would be safer. However my ovulation cycle really confuses me. For a year, while trying to concieve, we would try 12-14 days after my period and never had any luck getting preg. I ended up getting preg with my son 3 days before my period and ended up getting preg with my daughter 3 days after my period. Is it possible to ovulate randomly vs consistently? And can you only get pregnant during or a few days before ovulation?? I REALLY cant afford to get pregnant anytime soon, what can I do to make sure that doesn't happen besides abstanence??

ADDED: my husband and I did the condom + BC thing for a long time and would rather not use condoms if possible~ I will def look into planned parenthood to see the prices on the IUD's ~ As far as conception dates- with my son I randomly took a PT and then went to the doctor the next day. The dr said I was 3 weeks preg. We had actually had sex 3 weeks before however I had my period 3-4 days after having sex. I also found out pretty early when I was preg with my daughter. I was about 4 weeks along, according to the sono. 4 weeks prior to the dr visit we had been very busy with my sons first bday and my husbands bday and Easter so we weren't having alot of "alone" time; however, I knew we had had sex on my husbands bday which was 3 days after my period.

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Condoms plus the pill, if both are used correctly, can be 99% effective. The trick is using both properly (ie. putting the condom on correctly and using it every time, before penetration plus taking the pill every day without fail and avoiding antibiotics). Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Planned Parenthood is where most of my friends got their IUDs. Sliding scale, yay! http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-cont...

I got mine for free from the state we lived in, but inserted at my OB's office. Where we lived at the time the state would subsidize the cost of BC for anyone who qualified for any kind of aid within 12 months of giving birth (pregnancy medical, wic, headstart, etc.). They only paid for 12 months after the birth of your child (so you could get only 12 packets of BC pills, or x number of patches, etc), but it also included either Paraguard or Mirena.

Oh... and yes, it's possible for ovulation to be rather random. It's one reason why in medicalese the term for people who practice family planning / rhythm / cycle planning/ etc. is "parents". One reason why it "works" so well for so many people is that many many people have a great deal of trouble getting pregnant in the first place. So if it would take a person 1-2 years to get pregnant having unprotected sex almost every day, it would "work" a lot better for that person than for fertile-myrtle. SOME people are very very regular in their ovulation, but not most. Most fluctuate a little depending on a lot of things... like diet, exercise, stress, and the pheramones of the women they're around (you know you if you're in a large group of women everyone's cycle resets to happen at the same time?). Without BC pills, most women just aren't that regular. Some are *wildly* irregular. And some have "odd" cycles... where they're actually most fertile just prior, during, or just after their periods.

4 moms found this helpful

D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

If you want a fool proof way of NOT getting pregnant then learn Naprotechnology or the Creighton Method of NFP. It teaches you all the signs of fertility. If you avoid having sex during that time you can't possibly get pregnant. One quick way to find out if you are fertile is to observe the cervical mucus. If there is some then your headed for a fertile time.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.L.

answers from Dallas on

I've read through the other answers here and wanted to share my experience. The Pill, when working, does prevent ovulation. The "periods" you have when on the pill are chemically induced bleeding episodes, not true periods. HOWEVER, the Pill is NOT 100% effective, and occasionally you have what is called "breakthrough ovulation". This means that your own body's hormones will override the Pill's hormones and you will ovulate anyway. The scary thing about this, for me, is that it can happen at any time during your "cycle" while on the Pill. So you can't just abstain or use backup contraception during a certain time of your on-the-pill cycle.

For this reason, my husband and I have been very happy with Natural Family Planning. This is NOT the same thing as Rhythm. Rhythm assumes that all women have 28 day cycles and ovulate at day 14. 70-80% of women do, which is why this method has a 70-80% effectiveness rate.

Natural Family Planning (NFP) or the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) are methods where you observe the signs that your body gives that it is approaching ovulation, that it has ovulated, and that it is no longer fertile. The same hormones that cause the egg to mature and be released in your ovary also cause your cervical fluid to change consistency and amount. This can be observed and recorded, and you abstain during this time. Within 24 hours of ovulation, your baseline body temperature actually rises by 4/10 of a degree and your cervical fluid dries up. So to practice NFP/FAM you also monitor your waking temperatures. When you see that it has gone up, you know you have ovulated.

NFP has a 99.9% method effectiveness rate (this measures the effectiveness when practiced correctly). This is higher than any other form of BC except sterilization.

If you'd like more info feel free to contact me.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.Y.

answers from New York on

Sometimes you can ovulate more than one egg in a cycle (the cause of fraternal twins) and not always at exactly the same time. If you are really worried about the pill not working you can also use a backup like spermacide during the middle of the month. I used the pill before having my kids and have been using just spermacide since having them.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Binghamton on

Do you ever want more kids or are you done? My husband had a vacestomy after our second child and it was the best decision we ever made. Of course you need to be sure you want no more kids, but it solves the problem, is simple, mostly painless, and really revs up your sex life.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Planned Parenthood will make contraception affordable for almost anyone. They're very generous with the sort of information you're seeking, too. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from Dallas on

have you looked into mirena? it is like an IUD but put in place in a dr's office so no hospital charges involved and most insurances cover all or most of it. if yours doesn't (or if you have no insurance) i'd check w/Planned parenthood for payment options.

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L.H.

answers from Dallas on

Vacestomy. Snip snip and it's done and YOU won't feel a thing. He'll be a baby for a couple of days (they all are) but your worries will be over.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I got pregnant on the pill. Had been on it with no issues for over ten years when it happened. The thing with the pill is, it will stop you from ovulating - so there is no sense in not having sex during what would usually be your fertile period. BUT if you don't take it perfectly, you can ovulate at any point during your cycle. The pill has a great contraception rate (like 99%) but that is only with PERFECT use. The typical failure rate (for typical use that includes human error and forgetfulness) is more like 5%. I got pregnant because is did not practice PERFECT use... had done it plenty of times before and never anything happened, until it did.
I got a Mirena IUD because I KNEW that with a baby and everything that comes with it, I would NEVER be able to remember to take the pill every morning. If you cannot afford the IUD at this point, see planned parenthood. They have programs that you can pay it off over time, so it really isn't much more than paying for the pill every month.
Paying for the IUD is A LOT cheaper than getting pregnant unintended!
Good luck!

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Have you been on the pill before and had issues with it?
Being on the pill actually prevents you from ovulating. It essentially tricks your body into thinking it's pregnant already.

Typically, when women get pregnant on the the pill, it's because of a dosage issue and drug combination issue. If you don't have a family history of that, there really isn't any reason to be concerned. Clearly you're not related by blood to your SIL's, so they just may have a family history of issues there.

I was on the pill for 14yrs with no issue (no condoms for DH).

But to echo the other ladies, PP is great resource when funding is tight. I used it as a teenager and they were always great.

Updated

Have you been on the pill before and had issues with it?
Being on the pill actually prevents you from ovulating. It essentially tricks your body into thinking it's pregnant already.

Typically, when women get pregnant on the the pill, it's because of a dosage issue and drug combination issue. If you don't have a family history of that, there really isn't any reason to be concerned. Clearly you're not related by blood to your SIL's, so they just may have a family history of issues there.

I was on the pill for 14yrs with no issue (no condoms for DH).

But to echo the other ladies, PP is great resource when funding is tight. I used it as a teenager and they were always great.

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H.A.

answers from Dallas on

An IUD is my best suggestion. Is it not covered by your insurance? I had the progesterone based one (DID NOT want copper) for 3 years and loved having it. I did not do well emotionally on the pill and hated having to take it every day at approximately the same time. We don't like using condoms either. We are currently trying for our 3rd child but as soon as I can I am getting an IUD again!

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

If you are truly worried about pregnancy, there are ways to share physical affection with your husband that don't involve actual intercourse.

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B.J.

answers from Dallas on

If you take the pill as prescribed--including taking the pill every day at the same time--it's almost 100% effective. If you skip days and miss the time, it can fail. Also, it takes up to a month for it to be effective at the level of near-perfection. Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

The pill actually prevents ovulation and you only get your period because the hormones in the pill changes in a cycle. Its not considered to be a "true" period. When you are off the pill, cycles can be somewhat erratic and the only way to track them is with a chart or program like Ovusoft. But, when you are on the pill, and you take them everyday, at the same time everyday, you will have a predictable "cycle". So, two weeks starting from the first day of your period, you should "ovulate". If you don't take the pill correctly this can be somewhat altered.
Do you plan on having kids in the future? If not, why not get hubby a vasectomy? It costs about $1000-$1500 cash and you can save up for it. Kids are a true blessing, but they are expensive! This is a permanent fix, which sometimes can be reversed, but no guarantees. So, you have to be sure. We were and my husband and I are very happy with the results. Such freedom! :-)

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