Trying to Lose the Pacifier

Hi, J.!

We started off with our daughter only being allowed to have it when she slept. So that meant only in her bed and the car. We had it attached to a string and safety pinned to her clothes so it didn't get lost in the car. Then we weened her during the day by saying it had to stay in her room. So, she got used to falling asleep in the car w/out it, which helped at night also.

Good luck and have patience. Security items are a part of life and kids need to learn how deal with them. That's why parents are given to us, to help.

Melanie

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I am right there with ya, J.!
My daughter turned 2 in June, and was seriously attached to her binky. A little before her 2nd B-Day, we started allowing the 'B-B' (what she calls it) only at bed time. Sure, there were days we caved and allowed it all morning, or when she was sick, etc., but weening her slowly.
We have gotten to the point where she has lost every last B-B and the heck if I'm buying more now! The other night, we looked and looked for the last known surviving B-B and couldn't find it. I wasn't just hiding it, she lost it.
I thought it was going to be a rough ride, but it turned out to be surprisingly smooth! She has had trouble settling down for sleep, and according to her mood, hasn't slept as well, but she's not consistently asking for it like I had anticipated. Every day has been a little better, so I think we've done it!
She seems to understand that it's lost (praying that she never discovers it somewhere...we're too far down the road of B-B freedom now!) When she asks for it, I go to the place where we usually kept them and show her it's gone. I tell her I don't know where it is and that we have looked for it, but can't find it. I'm impressed how well she takes the news and moves on.
As far as the sucking on his fingers....that's a tough one. You can't take those away! Take it from a former thumb sucker, it's a BAD habit to start. I would give him the binky at night or when he seems to really need it most. Every child's time table is different...there's no rule as to when they should and shouldn't have them.
I hope everything works out o.k. for you and your little man!
Good luck!
lb

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My kids never would take a pacifier but my neighbor/friend would begin to wean her kids off it by cutting of a little bit of the pacifier nipple every 2 or 3 days until there was pretty much nothing left to suck on then the kids just lost interest. Might give it a try!

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hate to say it but you're just going to have to deal with it. you took away his self-soothing method...kids don't just suck on binkies or thumbs for the fun of it, there's a reason they do it. since you've taken it away he's doing what he can to self soothe. i would let him keep it for bedtime to help him sleep. i don't get parents' huge urgency to take away things like this. you can either give it back, or deal with the coping methods he comes up with. you can't force him to stop sucking his fingers/lip. you can constantly nag him and hound him and make him feel bad about it, but he'll still do it the second your back is turned - he'll just feel guilty about it. would you rather have that happen, or just give the binky back for bedtime? is it really that big of a deal?

i'm sorry if i sound harsh... i know that each child is different and a mother has to do what she feels is right. but for what it's worth, my son sucked his thumb like a fiend from the time he was about 2 weeks old (also when he started sleeping through the night, by the way). we've gone through a fire, marital troubles, sickness, vacations...a lot of emotional upheavals for a little guy, pretty much everything except divorce. i never said a word to him about sucking his thumb, knowing it was his coping method and he'd stop when he was ready. he's now three, and i honestly cannot remember the last time i saw him put it in his mouth. emotional upheavals take a toll and can influence when they give up something like this (my brother was 5 when my folks divorced and reverted to sucking his thumb again for about a year), but in general, they give it up when it's time. i don't believe in forcing the issue. and i'd never try to nag my son about it, knowing it would only make him feel bad. it's natural. they're so little for such a short time. i just don't think they need to feel such judgement at such a young age. just my opinion.

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cut the tip off and see if that helps

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Just start working with him and remember no matter the adivice you get, every child does respond differently, as the case with my boys. The oldest we took away at one year, just gone and he had no issues, The second one we worked with him for about three months letting him know on his 2nd birthday that he was gonna be a big boy and he would throw it away, and in the mean time working up to his birthday he was only allowed to have it at bedtime, Each morning when he got up he had a drawer to put it in and it stayed there until bedtime, This worked well and we had no issues on his birthday he threw them away and never looked back, now the third one.... He was the gnawer, he chewed them to shredds, which scared me that I thought he would chew off a piece and choke (he never did). Anyway we worked and worked with him and tried throwing them away, the daytime was not a problem, it was bedtime. He would take way too long to fall asleep without it, so I caved and let him have one more and I explained that when it was gone, they were gone. Well he finally lost it and we broke his habit by his third birthday.

Use whatever method you think will work with your little one and just remember that with work you will get him where he does not need it.

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i am going through this also right now. my son turned 2 in september and loves his binky, they are his "security blanket" cause he never took to an actual blanket. anyway, he does the same thing with chewing on them. what i am doing to work on getting rid of them is letting him have them when he is sleeping and that is it. we put them in a bowl on the counter and he knows he gets them when he naps and goes to bed (i always take one with me when we go anywhere just in case of a breakdown) i also give him one if he hurts himself. I think it is more traumatic to them if you make them go away all together one day, like cold turkey. try to start weening him off of them. hope that helps, and good luck!

so i respdonded before reading any other responses. the first two people to answer are rude in my book. take your time, you know your child the best and if you think he needs it, then thats your judgement. i think you have lots of good advice here, and would love to hear how things turn out. good luck!

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Good Morning J., Carrie is right, you can't really force a child to stop thumb sucking or finger sucking. Been there tried that...lol I can tell Zane 2 this week No thumb and he will take it out of his mouth then put his index finger in it. I have only tried to get him to stop because his front teeth are moving forward and wearing down in the middle. That is the only reason I have tried.
He threw away his paci when he was very little and just used his thumb to sleep or self sooth. He banged his thumb the other day and it is sore but he will still suck on it, it is red and chaped too. We give him Woo woo for his boo boo and he is fine. ;)

I like Carrie, don't see any reason to try and stop some things we as parents and gr parents allow our kids to do until SOME ONE says they shouldn't be doing this!!!Like children need to be weened at 1 or use a sippy at 1, or sleep in a toddler bed before 2, I could add more but I think you know what I mean. If it aint broke and it works for you "Don't fix it"

God Bless J.
K. Nana of 5

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we broke our on from his binki about 3 weeks ago (a week before he turned 2) he had him throw them away himself and said that he was a big boy now and that binkis are for babies. if he put his thumb in this mouth (which he never sucked before) we would tell him that it was icky and take his thumb out of his mouth.

The first week is the hardest (especially nap and bed time) but then it got easier and w/in 2 weeks he was fine w/o it

hope this helps :)

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We made a rule for my son that he could only have his paci in his bed.Sometimes he'd go sit in his bed and suck on his paci, so then we made the rule that he could use it in his bed only when its sleeping time. Eventually he was totally fine with these rules and never asked for his paci unless he was going to sleep. Then one day we had his ped tell him directly and very firmly that he was not allowed to use his paci anymore b/c it hurts his teeth. period. That night when he went to bed and asked for his paci we reminded him that the dr. said he couldn;t have it. Those weren't exactly magical words that made him totally okay with it, but it helped to sort of have that "back up" from the dr. and after a few days of "I'm sorry sweetie, but the Dr. said it hurts your new teeth" and our son was good to go totally paci free. Good luck. I think the hardest part is watching your child be SO sad and upset over it.

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