Trying to Get My 4 Year Old to Do Alphabets and Numbers?

All the advice so far has been spot on about making it a fun, no-pressure experience. I am presenting a reading workshop today on how to help your preschooler want to learn to read and I plan to mention a lot of the same things. As an Usborne Books consultant, I, of course, use lots of books with my kids. We have books like our 1001 Things to Spot series that encourage counting and numeral recognition in a fun, low-stress way. And when reading books to her it's very easy and appropriate to play an I spy game to find specific letters.

Experts tell us that children need to hear 1000 storied read aloud before they begin to learn to read for themselves. So keep reading to her and keep lots of books around.

If you'd like to know more about my reading workshop or ways to get some great free and discounted books, please don't hesitate to message me.

1 mom found this helpful

The best thing for both of you is to let her learn at her own pace, not yours. When she says "can't" she is really saying, "I've had enough, my brain is full." She will learn in her own time. Forcing a child (even with good intentions!) leads to tears & frustration and can make an "issue" out of learning, when it should just be a joy. There are many activities and manipulatives that can make learning more fun and make a child want to push themselves, and this is fine if she is asking for it. But resist the urge to push. Your daughter knows best. (I learned this with my own children, who are now highschoolers and brilliant!)
Good luck!
L. P.

1 mom found this helpful

Are you being like a drill seargent about this or are you allowing the learning process to be a fun exploration?

Broderbund made really fun, engaging alphabet and number games for the computer that my kids (now 22 an 16) learned on. My husband also made learning the sounds that the letters make enjoyable by putting our then 2 year old daughter on his lap and letting her type out letters on the keyboard--he would say the sound that the letter makes rather than naming the letter. she wrote him a letter phonetically when she was three. HOWEVER, LET ME STRESS that we were much more focussed on her exploration and discovery than being attached to her needing to do something.

I would also look at what is driving your concern--what are you making this mean about you as her parent that she is resisting this? What are you making it mean about her? One of the wisest people I know said, "Don't believe everything that you think." Take what you will from this--

1 mom found this helpful

I am also an educator. I have taught kindergarten through 8th grade for 15 years. Research shows that the biggest indicator for academic success is not in knowing how to recite their ABC's or count to 20 before they start kindergarten, but in the exposure to literature and books. Children learn book handling skills and book 'language' by being read to frequently. The higher the number of books read to a child before the age of 5 significantly increases their knowledge of how words and letters work, and how books work. My best advice to you, is to Read to your children a few times a day if tiem allows. And read the same books over and over, they love to learn the story to help fill in the next word and then to 'pretend' read. Definitely sing the ABC song and play counting games, but more dont stress the learning as much as the fun and bonding time that it provides the two of you.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi I am responding as a preschool teacher of 12 years. Four year olds are on the young end of being able to know all their letters and numbers. Most four year olds that have learned them are mimicking the world around them, hearing songs, listening to their siblings and parents etc. It isn't until the concrete operational part of the brain starts to develop more fully beginning at age 5-7 that this information is genuinely taken in as their own knowledge. The best way to prepare a 3-5 year old for reading and math is for them to play! the pre-reading and math skills( like left to right, patterns, geometric shapes, one to one correspondence,fine motor coordination etc) come from pouring sand, fitting puzzles, drawing with crayons,looking at books and being read to, stringing beads, pretending anything,interacting and problem solving with friends, and outside play that involves running, jumping, climbing etc. All of these activities actually coordinate and wire the brain to more easily receive letters and numbers when the time comes.(there is lots of research on this you can look up) Having your child memorize these things may make it sound like they know the ABC's but it doesn't give them the flexibility to experiment with letters and words which is how we learn to read- So let her play, sing songs that count (3 little speckled frogs),count how many plates do you need for dinner etc, make up silly poems,read lots of books together, provide lots of time for active outside play, time with sensory materials like sand, water, playdough.. and the reading will blossom naturally before you know it! your daughter may say "she can't" because she genuinely isn't ready, and pressure can make it harder, not because she doesn't want to try. Have fun and take care-
there are tons of resources for play based curriculum/ideas online and at the library-
Also I see lots of responses telling you to have your child watch TV shows and play computer games to learn- this is not necessary or advisable other than as an occasional activity, children learn by doing- TV puts their brains in a passive state and has actually been shown to DECREASE intellectual capacity and critical thinking skills rather than enhance them. Also the amount of flashing and picture changes, especially on carttons can cause vision problems and attention span issues. You don't have to ban TV, but to use it as a way to learn reading skills, rather than just being out in the world or reading to our children is a disservice in my opinion.

1 mom found this helpful

Make it fun, fun, fun! At 4 years old learning the ABC's and 123's should be all about fun - not work. Get some shaving cream and spray it on your kitchen table. (it works as a great cleaner for those pen marks that just won't come off!) Then let her practice writing her letters and numbers. My kids still love to do this for practicing their spelling words. One thing I started when my daughter was 4 is to choose a letter for the "week" then I would find pictures on line for her to color and glue onto a big piece of paper. We would also find something that went with the letter to do art or for snack - my kids still talk about on D-day we went out for doughnuts. Of course, on O-day they convenienced me to go for doughnuts again since it the shape of a do-nut. Anything that makes it fun and they will remember. There are TONS of ideas online about crafts, snacks, and other creative things to do with letter. I got a lot of my ideas from www.dltkkids.com It's a great web site. Hope that helps.

1 mom found this helpful

One of the best bits of advice I ever received was at age 6. I was told by my gymnastics teacher (over and over) that "can't" is a word that she doesn't hear. "I have trouble with this" is acceptable. "You need help?" She would always chime. Try it. But be sure you aren't saying "can't" all the time yourself. "in a minute", "hang on" and "I'll try" are really great substitutes. It works for my 6 year old and my 2 year old even sometimes. But you have to be completely committed. The one day you hear "can't" and respond to it will spiral you back down. The idea is to keep it positive and learn about asking for assistance. Allowing her to ask for help rather than decide that it is not possible. This has been really useful my whole life.

But besides that, you have to keep it fun. Once she figures out that it's hard work that you "have to do" it gets way harder. Songs, rhymes, flash cards, scribblings and drawing animals out of letters are all good games for learning alphabet. Number tricks (hiding items under a cup), finger games and songs are all good for numbers. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi C.,

I agree with all the other responses that said to keep it fun and don't force or rush it.

I did most everything(or something similar) with my now 9 year old that's been written about in this thread, and she has always read/comprehended at a grade level above her, and was writing at an early age.

Watching t.v. to learn is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of--at least it's not brain trash if they're learning something. My daughter could do alot of colors, words, letters and numbers in Spanish/English by the time she was 4 thanks to Dora, and that and other programs(Blue's Clues was her FAVORITE!) helped her a TON. We had alphabet magnets on the fridge as early as two, and everytime she went over and played with them, I told her which letter it was she was holding and the sounds it made.

We also had books, and flashcards, and she went to preschool from the time she was four until she started kindergarden.

So again, just keep it fun, find something she likes and go with that until it wears off, and then do something else, and I definately recommend preschool if you can get her in. She will learn from other children as well as be inspired to want to learn more.

OH, and be sure to praise her when she is learning something and show how happy you are that she wants to learn. Impressing mom is another motivator for the kidlets, but if she feels like she's disappointing you, she may shut down and even resent learning later.

I hope you both have a great time with this! :o)

K. W

1 mom found this helpful

I wouldn't worry about pushing "school!" I would absolutely read as much as possible to her. As long as her interest for reading and stories stays strong and interesting, then eventually she'll want to learn how to read. I'd also make sure there is a balance of fostering her own interests. I imagine (as a former teacher) that this must be frustrating for you in a world that is so academically minded. I'd just try relax and make sure you are getting to know your daughters interests as well as fostering a love for learning!

1 mom found this helpful

I would definitely not pressure her. For most kids, 4 is too young for formal learning. At this age, learning should be informal and fun. If your daughter starts to associate learning with frustration and failure, then she will surely have problems down the road. I would pull back and let her take her own pace. Maybe periodically play games that incorporate letters and numbers, but keep it light-hearted an fun.

1 mom found this helpful