Trying to Be Involved in School with 2 Little Ones at Home. and a Field Trip ?

Do NOT take your young children on the field trip.. They specifically state "YOUNGER SIBLINGS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ATTEND THE FIELD TRIP." It is a liability to the school. And it is not following the rules and requests.. What does that tell your child if you ignore this? Do not become "one of those moms" that does not think the rules or requests are for her.

People understand you have young children and cannot participate as much as you would like at this time. Just be honest with your child. Most children do not even realize their parents do not volunteer, because most don't. There will be a time when your children are all on school and then you can make up for this time.

If you want to go on the field trip or volunteer during the school day, hire a sitter and then go.. Get your husband to stay home that day or for those hours. Or trade childcare with another parent.. They can then have time to do what they want while you watch their children some other time.

Hang in there. Do not let mama guilt get in the way of common sense.

6 moms found this helpful

I was in the same boat when my oldest started school so I understand your frustration!
But do NOT show up on the field trip with your little ones in tow. Even if it's in a public place, siblings are very distracting to the group and program. That's why they specifically ask you not to bring them.
You will have many, many opportunities over the years to be involved at school so try not to worry about it too much. Trust me, most parents NEVER volunteer and most kids really don't care one way or another how much their parents help out. My middle child actually didn't like me being in her classroom. Nice, huh?! :(

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Please don't be aggrevated, but this is the time to call the MIL. Yes, I would and have been extremely irritated about other parents brining younger siblings on field trips when it expressly says "do not bring"
It hampers the effectiveness and mobility of the group, they are not age appropriate and cause irritation to those who put in the effort and forethought to get a sitter for the day.
It also ruins it for the kids in the group by having them be pulled behind and not get to do all they want becaus the little kids dont walk as fast, need to go to the bathroom/have diapers changed, etc.
This statement is not just for those volunteering it is for any parent who attends the field trip.
I would strongly encourage you to splurge and get that sitter or work something out with MIL and give your school-age child your undevided time and attention for the day. A realy luxury for us moms!

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My daughter started kinder this year and I have a preschooler, so I understand where you are coming from, but I would never take him along if it expressly asked me not to. My daughter's class hasn't had a field trip yet, but I know it is coming soon and I am hoping that it is on a Tuesday or a Thursday while my son is at preschool so that I can go. If not, I will either have my husband work from home that day or find some other childcare arrangements or just not attend the trip. I understand that finding childcare (especially for two other children) is easier said than done, but it truly isn't fair to the other parents or the elementary kids for the younger siblings to tag along. They will have their chance when they are older.

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I think your best option would be to try to find someone closer to you, a college student perhaps? Or possibly another mom? A friend? Keep looking into finding someone to help out.

Otherwise you just do what you can, if you can't find anyone then just stay home. You've offered your assistance in other ways, that is all you can do for now.

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Is it open to the public or did they reserve a venue? I've seen in the past that same statement about no siblings but parents always brought the siblings if it was being held in a public place. They just did what you're suggesting and not volunteer plus they had to drive their own vehicle as the bus doesn't allow siblings. If the siblings got tired, cranky, etc. they would leave. No one seemed to care that the siblings were there as long as they were well behaved.

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Generally speaking, field trips cost the school, really the teacher, money. Extra people, like the younger siblings, are not allowed because it costs more. So definitely don't just go without speaking to someone. Absolutely talk to the teacher about your desire to be more involved and the challenges with the little ones. Maybe there is a way to go on this trip (are you willing to pay whatever you have to for the 3 extra people?), but maybe not.

As an active member of my PTA, I often hear this frustration for parents, it's very hard to juggle all the things we have to. But any effort you make towards the school will be noticed by your daughter. Bake for the bake sale, take home the homework folders from the classroom, make calls from home on behalf of PTA efforts. Maybe join the PTA and ask how you can help. And read and talk with your daughter about school every day, and she will KNOW how much her schooling matters to you.

2 moms found this helpful

it is the same for me... I have a first grader and a preschooler and toddler. I haven't been able to volunteer at all. I'll just try to do more as the kids get older.

I wouldn't go on the field trip. With two little ones, you won't be able to focus on your older child anyway.

J.

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You and your young childen DO NOT belong at this field trip. DO NOT GO!!! I

I'm not trying to be rude, but there is a reason that younger siblings are not allowed. In addition, if you chose to go separately to the same place with as a family (you and younger children), you will only be a distraction to your daughter.

If you want your daughter to see you involved at her school, then attend the PTA meetings, attend the concerts and family nights, send in snacks for parties.

1 mom found this helpful

I understand your situation. This is my first year that I have no little ones at home to find sitters for so I can volunteer.

Do not take younger siblings on the field trip. The note requests that and there are many reasons for it. I believe this would be the time to call on MIL. Ask her to only help out when there are these big field trips. That means probably 3-5 times in the school year and you would have plenty of advance notice to have her schedule it in. The length of the field trip day would justify and hour drive for her. It would be fabulous grandma time!!!

In the past when my kids were little I always found a couple friends to do weekly babysitting swaps with. In fact, even this year I have two ladies now that we do after kindergarten swap so it lengthens our "free time" on the days we are not on swap duty. Kindergarten here is only 3.5 hours. So two days a a week I have 6 hours and then one day the other 2 ladies' kids come here. It is actually one big playdate for my son. They bring their lunches and have a ball together. The key is finding kids your children get along with..and ladies YOU get along with.(sometimes that is the hard part)

Good luck! Don't feel guilty about not volunteering in the classroom yet. Teachers are understanding...they know what it is like for moms of young kids. Find other ways to volunteer your time. Teachers often need things cut out,traced,papers labled etc. Volunteer to help plan parties or make a class contact list for all parents. I loved when one mom took that job on for my son's 5th grade class last year. The parents gave their email,home address and phone numbers..parents could opt out of giving certain info too. I felt this list was a great way to reach out to parents and kids for playdates, parties, questions about homework or any kind of contact needed.

Good luck and best wishes at finding some time to share your child's school experience together!!

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Try finding a Methodist church in your area that offers a Mothers-Day-Out program. They are very good. Both of the ones in my town have MDO programs. One is half day, 9-noon twice a week and the other is 10-3 M-W-F. I loved the kids going there, it was safe, in an wonderful setting, they had long term staff, and they had morals and high standards.

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I disagree a bit here on bringing younger sibs. Depending on the venue, the disallowing of younger sibs is because they can't ride the bus, and you can't be responsible for other children when you have your little ones to watch as well, so you can't "volunteer" in the capacity of the leader of a group of children. That said, I have occasionally, with permission from the teacher, brought my younger ones to a field trip in the capacity you described. The teacher will be honest about whether they want you to do this. I would definitely honor her decision if she said she would rather you not do this. When I have done it, I drove my own car and just walked along with the group. Depending on the venue, this shouldn't be a problem. The places I have done it are the zoo and the local botanical gardens. I pay for myself and my other child and of course, if my little one gets cranky, I have the ability to leave. If this is the only way you can join in on a field trip, I would consider it, like I said, with permission and depending on the venue. Also, I would only do it if your little ones are pretty well behaved and easy to manage. It is important to kids to have mom join in once in a while. She won't mind if the little sibs are there if they aren't distracting. She may even enjoy showing them off a little! If you don't feel like you can take the kids, find a babysitter for at least a couple of field trips during the year. MIL would be a good option since you aren't asking her to be there on a regular basis so you can volunteer in the classroom. For the record, volunteering by helping with projects you can work on at home is a great way to help out the teacher! I would also make sure you attend the class parties if you can swing a babysitter. These I would definitely NOT bring the littles to! Way too distracting to everyone involved and the little ones want to be included in everything and this is just too much to ask, so they get crabby and frustrated. Not good. But it is sooo important to kids to have mom come to those important things. You don't have to go to every field trip, but if you can work it out, your daughter will be thrilled! Another thing to consider is rather than asking MIL to come babysit so you can go on the field trip, ask her if she would like to come and go on the field trip with your daughter instead! She would likely feel very honored and your daughter would think it is really special to have grandma along! I have been a stand in on a few field trips for my niece and we both enjoy the special time together! She is thrilled and feels very special that her aunt came to be with her!

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I have to think other children are not allowed because of the liability. If you just go wit the two little nes, they will probably tellyou no on the spot. It could be disappointing and embarassing. If the field trip is THAT important, ask your MIL to come for that outing. She could come for the outing and even spend the night....a special trip for everyone.

Go and bring your little ones! It's a way for you to have fun with all your children. Don't worry about what people think- have fun!

I think you need to ask the teacher about this idea.

One way that I stayed involved when I had younger ones at home was to go to the class parties (halloween, Christmas, valentine's day, etc). There was never any restrictions on younger siblings that I was aware of for the parties. Of course you still have to keep the kids under control and out of all of the cool stuff in the classroom, so it still didn't always work out depending on the kids ages and temperaments.