What's the furthest you've been from your kids when they were young? Was it hard for you to leave them and if so, what did you do to talk yourself through it? How long were you away? Did your time away from them go better than you expected?
We are traveling without our kids and I go through these periods of being super nervous about it. I know we will have a great time, but my brain just won't stop in preparation for our departure : /
Any advice or experience to easy my mind is appreciated.
I've been there! It really helped me to have my sister who watched my son randomly send me photos of them doing things. It helped knowing he was happy, even if it was just a photo of him in his bouncy seat as smiling away. That's me though, it helped me through the initial uneasiness and now I'm fine leaving him.
Wish you the best! Have a fun trip!
Los Angeles to Shanghai, Barcelona, London and Paris (obviously not in the same trip). That doesn't include domestic trips to the East Coast and Hawaii. I love her more than anything but know she is in great hands when I'm away. We always talked multiple times per day....set my alarm to be awake in her time zone.
Have fun!
I had my older child (now almost 12) when I was on active duty in Germany. Starting when he was 4 months old, I spent about 7-8 months of the year away, at training. In 2-3 month increments. It was part of my job. I had an AMAZING German nanny (who also basically taught me to be a mom) who loved him like her own. And also happened to be a tall, gangly, skinny, brunette....like me. So I imagine that it helped him.
He is super loving, very bonded, and just a lovely child. In some ways, we're closer than my youngest, who had me around all the time!
Don't worry. Your kiddoes will be just fine. They're with people who love them.
The last time I was more than 10 miles away from my kids at night was when my oldest was 9 months old and I went on a business trip (from Chicago to Long Beach, CA). It was just 36 hrs, but I was such a sentimental mess. I brought a small photo album of his pictures. It was over before I blinked.
Nowadays, I look forward to the 2 days I spend in the hospital when I deliver, so I can sleep in ;-)
I imagine that using Facetime or Skype would help with missing your kids.
I went to Santa Monica (about 7 hours away) just after I stopped breastfeeding my baby at about 15 months. I was with friends for 3 days. I also went to Reno with my sister this year (my son's now 4) for 3 days. I was invited on a ladies cruise and a couple of wine weekends with friends and also NY! I have a hard time leaving my son, so I didn't go on these trips. I probably would have done NY, but it was too expensive for me. I work full-time, so my weekend time with my son is precious. I feel like I should do something at least once a year now though. My son is older. My husband is turning 40 this year so we might do an adult trip and leave our son with family, but I'm not even sure about that. I find when I'm gone that, by the 3rd day, I'm missing him badly. Good luck!
We've taken him with us to the dominican republic for a week at 7 months old, and to Australia for a month at 22 months old.
I've been away for business to Cleveland, Toronto, and LA twice for a few days at a time. He's two. He did fine. I did great. He and my husband had a great time together. It was a real relief to be able to fully turn off my "mommy radar."
I know that he's in good hands. I know that a few days apart won't diminish our love for each other. I know we'll both learn and grow and come back refreshed. It isn't particularly hard for me to go, and its a real treat to return.
Best to you and yours,
F. B.
I traveled from Southern CA to Virginia/DC once when my son was little, but my husband stayed home. Honestly, it was totally fine for me. I missed my son, who was about 18 months or so, but he did great and I had a really nice time being away. I forget how long I was gone... 3-4 nights probably.
A couple of months before that, my husband and I went away together for a three night cruise. That was harder because we couldn't call home to check on him as easily. Again though, the time away was worth it to rejuvenate, reconnect, and just to have a little break.
My daughter was a little younger the first time we went away without her - 10.5 months - but she was fine too. That trip we were gone for two nights. It was harder on me because I was still nursing and had to pump while we were gone, plus she was terrible about taking a bottle, so I was worried somewhat about her eating enough. But, she was on solids by then so she ate extra food and took one bottle while I was gone. She started nursing again upon my return with no problems.
Don't be nervous. Everything will go fine and you are going to be sooo glad you did it.
When my older son turned one and I weaned him I went to Grand Forks (three hour drive) for the weekend with a friend. When my younger son turned one and I weaned him I went to Vegas for four days with a friend. (When I was breastfeeding I had never been away from them for longer than 2 hours for the entire year so I had definitely earned my time away!) I have gone away on a girls weekend once a year ever since, while the kids are with my husband. My husband and I go away to a town an hour away for an overnight a couple of times a year while the kids stay with a friend. My husband and I went Vegas for a week when they were 3&6 years old and the boys stayed with grandma. We have never had a bad experience, my boys have always been fine.
I was never away more than a few days and on average once a year but I know how you feel. I remember my husband surprising me once with an overnight. When I figured out what was going on, I literally screamed to turn around and go home. But I was glad he didn't. The kids were fine. I'm sure they don't even remember! What's helped me is to remind myself that my relationship with my husband is an impt for the kids as it is for me so taking a night away was good for all of us. I'd also ask myself if I remember being 2 or 3 or 4 years old. I don't.... Once they're older than 5ish, they understand better. Not sure how old yours are. I know they did cry for me at bedtime several times which I learned they get over very quickly. And they do not remember! I honestly think the real damaging type things are ones parents do that even when the child is grown up look back on and think 'that was pretty crappy of mom.". Things like going away briefly once in a while don't fall into that category... So either they won't remember after you're back for two days or they'll look back some day and think how it was totally normal for you to take a little trip once... I also found that once I was on a plane, I felt like "well, what can I do now?" and I kind of got over my worry.
