Traveling Job

My hubby is a long haul driver and has been for the ten years we have been married. He is usually gone a week at a time but sometimes up to a month. We have 4 wonderful kids. My best advice is get a great phone plan or service. We use sprint and over 12000min a month for only 150$. (Unlimited sprint to sprint for 5$.) I have learned to fix just about everything in the house and out. The kids do well. I am the main "yes or no" to anything but when daddy comes home we tend to let some things slide just so he can spend more time with them. (like my 2y old sleeping with us)Its not easy, but you adjust.

I have dealt with that same issue in the past. It isn't any easy one. You will get set in your ways and disciplining the children and then Daddy comes home and suddenly it is supposed to become a two parent "team". Well it definitely should be it's just hard remembering that when he gets home. Don't try and parent him as well. That is easy to do. And don't let him play the "good parent" role just because he missed the kids and becomes a push over, undoing everything you've done.
I don't know how old your kids are but my 5 range from 16 - 3. It was definitely harder trying to manage the teenagers. Believe it or not they are way needier than the little ones. Before each trip the kids would give lots of hugs and kisses to daddy's "love bear". That way daddy would have a full supply whenever he needed them. And every night at bedtime I would give them each two kisses one from mommy the other from daddy.
Managing the household really wasn't too difficult. I just handled things my own way and made sure the house was clean when he got home and I was caught up on all of my other chores that way when he got home there wasn't any of that to mess with and we could just enjoy our quality time together as a family.
As for yourself, the best advice I can give you is to have a support base. Family or girlfriends. You can loose your mind not having any adults to talk to. I would occassionally invite over the girls for a girls night and if needed they could bring the kids. So the kids got to play and the ladies got to relax.
Hope this has been helpful!
M.

My husband traveled a lot when he was previously married and I think it was one of the reasons why his marriage self-destructed. When you are the only one at home a lot, you get into a routine and it's YOUR routine. Then, your husband comes home and he's exhausted and needs some time to unwind and recharge. Don't push the kids on him as soon as he walks through the door or expect him to become superdad as soon as he's home. Traveling is very exhausting.

Since the normal routine is YOUR routine, some husbands have a hard time re-engaging with their kids when they are home. They are expected to do it the wife's way when in fact, dads should be allowed to do it the daddy way, even if it's not exactly like mom wants it. Kids love that their parents are different and loves each parent for those differences, so don't try to force your husband to do things YOUR way just because that is the norm when he's gone. So what if things are a little more chaotic, so what if the house isn't as perfect, what's important is that he has a chance to rebond (on his own terms) with his children and get some one-on-one attention from you too.

My husband travels Monday through Friday almost every week. I will tell you that in my experience it is difficult, but you really get into a groove after a few weeks/trips. My advice is BE ORGANIZED! Take time now to quickly organize every aspect of your life and start a VERY strict and regimented routine. The kids will do much better if they know what to expect every day. The other things that my husband does before EVERY trip is talk to the kids about his trip, where he is going, interesting facts and then we get a map and we point out where daddy will be. My son is WONDERFUL at geography because of it. He also leaves a voice recorded message for the kids on these cool little recorders we bought called "yada yada". My oldest will listen to 40 times in a day sometimes. We also have a designated call time for him to speak with the kids in the evenings. We mark the days his is gone off on calendar and that way they knwo when he will be returning. My husband is really sweet and thoughtful and usually sends pics via e-mail from his trip and always brings home a "prize." It is helpful to have a daddy photo album nearby for those sad times when they miss daddy. One of the hardest lessons I have learned is that air travel isn't perfect, so be cautious about saying that daddy will be home tonight if his flight is SUPPOSED to land at 3:00pm, because more than likely there are delays, cancellations etc. I always say it will be the next day if it is later in the day and then it is a FUN surpise if he gets home earlier! Honestly, you will adjust and then it becomes difficult when he is home because you get so used to your routine! Good luck!

My husband is in sales and he is on the road anywhere from 2-4 nights a week, sometimes more depending on conferences, etc. He sets his own schedule, I handle all of his travel arrangements, we work as a team. He needs a cheerleader to help him stay motivated because being in a hotel most every night, wining and dining customers all the time, playing golf with people he does not particularily care about.....all gets old.

There are a lot of perks. We have benefited very well financially and he provides a very good life for us. We have enjoyed travel with him at times as well as taken part in some of the wining and dining which is nice for me. We do have 1 child, a 13 yr old daughter. He has never missed any kind of performance, teacher conference or anything relating to her and her accomplishments. My daughter's schedule is a priority on his calendar and I make sure he is always up to date well ahead of schedule so he can plan.

You will find a routine that fits your schedule and get used to it. There were no sudden adjustments for our daughter because my hubby has always been on the road and that is all she knows.

If you have any other questions, please im me and I will be glad to answer what I can. We have been together 20 yrs and made it work.

Susan

I feel your pain. My husband has worked out of town Mon-Fri (he is home most weekends) for over a year now.

#1 If there is anything that only he does (bills, yard work, minor repairs, etc.) learn how to do it! If it's something you can't physically do, find out how he does it and decuss who you will get to do it if it needs done while he is out of town. You will both feel horribly helpless if something happens while he is stuck out of town and you are helpless there at home.

#2 Pack little notes or pictures for him to open/read while he is gone.

#3 Get one of the inexpensive digital photo key chains and fill it with pics of you and the kids. My hubby LOVES his. I think you can pick one up for under $20. You can take pics while he is gone and update it when he is home.

My son is 4 1/2. He has always been fine with my hubby being gone as long as my hubby tells him Sunday night that he will be sleeping at work that week. If he ever forgets to tell him (although it always happens) it's bad! He talks to him nightly as well.

In fact, it's gotten to where my DS is ready for my DH to leave if he's here more than a couple of days because he doesn't want to share me! lol

Good Luck with it! Just remember the separation is temporary and absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Hi D.,
My husband travels frequently, although not as much as he used to. He is generally gone up to 2 weeks now and within the US. He used to be gone 3-4 weeks in places like China and India up to 4 months a year. It's not easy! But the best thing he does is call daily. It helps me keep my sanity when I feel like I just can't deal with a whiny cranky kid any more and it helps us stick together by keeping up with what's going on during our days just like we would do when he's home. The best advice I have for yourself is get out of the house with the kids, go to the park, the mall play area, museums, the library. It will be an adjustment as you set your routine around him not being home but keep the standard routine as normal as possible all the time. Our biggest routine struggle is actually with the dog ;-) and he's been around longer than the kid. Good luck! It's actually not all that bad! A.

Hi D.. My husband just got home in Sept. of '07 from an 18 month tour in Iraq, so I know exactly how you feel. I've read some of the advise that the other ladies have given you and it is good advise. If you know that your husband is going to be gone for important dates like a kids birthday, have a video recording of Dad saying or singing happy birthday to that special someone. Before my husband left (my daughter had barely turned one and now she will be 3 in April)I recorded him wishing my daughter a happy 2nd birthday, a Merry Christmas, and a just because video for her to see her daddy. It worked, and she stayed connected and remembered him that way. I say remembered because she was 1 and he was away 8 months before she saw him again for 10 days then gone again.

You will become more independent and it is important for you to learn some of the things your husband does that you might need to know. Keep an open mind and always communicate with each other. It will get easier. If needed find a hobby! Just having your kids around will make it easier and not so lonely! Good luck and God Bless!

Mine always has... and frankly I think it is great. Sometimes I really miss him and sometimes I am ready for him to go! We have been married 9 years and it has just always been that way... a week here, a few days there, three weeks... the only times it was HUGELY hard were the 6 month and 10 month stays in Iraq. That sucked... but we do ok.
Honestly he is traveling now... and this time is hard because it is his first trip since coming back Dec. 15th from Iraq. But, we are doing ok.
I have a calendar. I make certain marks for days he will be gone and we count how many left.
My son has good and bad moments.... but he is FINE!
GOOD LUCK!

My husband travels too. I was REALLY worried 7 years ago when he started.... NOW I love it! When he is out of town there is no struggle on who is boss and who makes the rules. It is actually harder now when he is IN town. (not really but...) We have a schedule of bedtime etc and when he is out of town and the kids are asleep by 8:20 or so... That gives me a couple of hours of me time, quiet time, do whatever I want time in the house "alone". Then when my husband is home, the kids are so excited to tell them everything we have done and ask him about his trip.
Hope this helps calm any fears. (FYI I am a full time teacher)