Transitioning to a "Big Girl Bed"

S.,

If it isn't broken don't fix it. I would allow your two year old to continue sleeping in the crib. Do you have anything small or a port a crib to put the new baby in for a while? Sounds like you are right about starting something with trouble. Plus, your two year old will probably regress and want back in the crib when the new baby comes. Or she might want her big girl bed. It depends on your daughter. For right now if you need your sleep and peace of mind during the last part of your pregnancy....I say get the sleep while you can.

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When she used to sleep in a crib, did you rock her, etc., or just put her in her bed and she was on her own? Laying with a child as they drift to sleep has a name ... parenting to sleep. This is an acceptable, kind way to help a child learn to sleep on their own, like a bridge from being a baby to a kid. I'm using this technique with my 2 year old now who has transitioned from my bed to his bed. I lay with him for 2-3 minutes, then say, "Time to sleep while Mama reads." I then remove myself from him, though he can still see me if he wants, and take some "me" time and read for about 10 minutes. It's working great. Some nights I can even just say time for bed and actually get up and leave, though I don't object to reading in his presence. If you are unable or uncomfortable sitting in her room, perhaps your husbland can have a turn. After all, it will kind be be his "job" after the new baby arrives anyway! :)

It is tough! I have twins that we just transitioned to "big beds". What I did was to first give them something they can cling to, like a dolly or a stuffed teddy bear. I took them to the store and let them pick out their special night-night blankie or night-night baby. Then they only get that item when they go to bed. About 1/2 hour before the actual bedtime we got their jammies on and made sure it was quiet time, no rough housing :) It took us about 3 or 4 days but whenever they got out of bed we would say, "it's bedtime" and quietly walk them back to their room and have them lay down.

Now it's as if we didn't have a problem at all. We say it's bed time and they run to their beds. Good Luck!

I always bought a bed rail for my kids when I transitioned to a big bed. I don't think any of them needed it to keep from falling out, but I do think it makes the bed seem a little more like a crib and a little less scary. I also got a frame and box springs for the bed. Then the bed is up high and they can't climb out as easily.

I would get a bed frame for the matress, if you want you can let her pick it out. I have always let mine pick out their sheets for their bed. Keeping them in bed can be tricky. They all go through the getting out of bedd phase. They are just testing their limits. If you have the energy, you can let them get up and put them back into bed. It works, it can take some time, depending on how stubborn the child is. If you don't have the energy, put up a baby gate, then they can't leave the room. But it does allow them to get up and play if they want. It will take a little time, but eventually she will stay in bed and go to sleep. Good luck and stay strong.

We had to do that with our 2 year old. My son was born Oct 31, when she was 20 1/2 months old, we kept him in a cradle for awhile, then when she was about 2 my husband switched it up. He moved her into the big girls bed and him into the crib. It has been quite a ride. Night time actually was never too bad. She has done really well for the most part staying in bed. Nap time however is a joke. She'll climb into bed with him and wake him up, come out running and laughing, ect, ect. But we have been firm with her and tell her no, even if she laughs at us and put her back to bed. We make sure this is not a fun game to her, but don't do anything to hurt her. We simply tell her no, and put her back. Things are getting better. Also it helps to wear them down before putting them to bed. For example today we went on a walk to the library, and came back and had lunch and she fell asleep no problem in her bed. It was wonderful. It takes time, but consistency. They have to know you are serious.

S., I'm in the same boat you are. My son was a champion sleeper in the crib, but one night he swan dived out, and that was that. We moved him to a twin mattress on the floor. I've tried every suggestion listed here, and NOTHING has worked so far. At first I was laying with him as you are, and he would fall asleep quite easily for about the first 2 weeks. After that he became the lightest sleeper in history, and would wake up any time I tried to sneak out of the room, no matter how quiet I was. Then EVERYTHING started waking him up. So I started trying other things. When I tried just being in there he thinks I'm there to play with him. When I finally gave up and said "I'm going to sleep" (DH was out of town) I figured he'd fall asleep eventually, somewhere, and I'd put him in the bed, but he stayed up past 12:30 playing with anything he could get his hands on, and there aren't even any toys in his room. He was opening and slamming his drawers, banging on the window, rocking the rocking chair into the wall, etc. When I tried letting him "cry it out" (which I don't agree with, but was at my wit's end,) he screamed at the top of his lungs like he was possessed, and since we live in a town house, I was worried that our neighbor was going to call CPS on us. I tried with the door shut and with a baby gate.

Maybe my son is just weird. I don't mean to be a downer. The only way I can get him to sleep now is in our big bed. I never wanted to be a cosleeper (not that I have anything against it, I just don't sleep well with him there) but it's that or NO sleep for either of us. I figure that can only last so long, and when he's ready to try his big boy bed again, we'll do it on his terms. (Incidentally, I coslept with my parents, and I turned out just fine, so I'm not worried about it having lasting psychological affects on him or anything.) And I'm going to enjoy the little while that he actually WANTS to cuddle with me. Goodness knows it won't last long.

Good luck!

S.:

Since she is 2 and starting to want to be independent..I would have the crib and the bed on the floor as options...unless that is not possible. Ask her which she would prefer to sleep in. Her having the choice should help. This should also help her transition before the baby comes. I know you want to save money on buying the bed, but could you take her to the store to buy some new sheets/blankets for the mattress she now has? Involve her in this new experience more than just at night... Possibly buy her a new night light, stuffed toy or even a flashlight so she has the tools to sleep in her room without fear (although fears & nightmares are common at this age). Maybe paint the room to give it a new feel for the Big Girl. Simply ask her "Why she hasn't slept in her bed?" She will tell you in 2 yr old terms. If she says something about Monsters-do some of the ideas above, but these next two have worked wonders for myself and my sister: Get an empty spray bottle, put water in it-color it with markers or have a label that says, "Monster Spray" and spray it all around her room, in the closets and by the door. Also, we have a Sleep Fairy at our house and if the kids sleep through the night in their own bed-they wake up with some type of treat under their pillow or around their bed-it could be anything you deam as a treat. As they get older, the Sleep Fairy will phase out.
Instead of you laying in her room, I would follow the same routines you've been doing, tuck her into bed as usual. If she gets up, gently walk her back to bed without saying anything to her and re-tuck, let her know that she can come into Mommy/Daddy's room and lay on the floor by the bed if she needs to, buy she is a Big Girl and can do it. Positive reinforcement is the key-but easier said, than done sometimes! All the best with your little girl and having #2 on the way...

K.

I think you would be fine to leave her until she really is acting like she wants to be out of the crib. I have three children 3,2, 10months and I didn't move my oldest out of his crib until a few months after the 3 baby came and we haven't had to many problems. He didn't have any need to stay in the crib cause he saw the baby or his other sister in one. I think you would be fine to keep her in her crib so that you can all have some good rest. Just remember she is only 2 and in some families she is still consider a baby. I have to remind myself of that cause I have just kinda thought they are the older sibling...but in many ways she is still little and maybe she feels more comfort being in a crib. I know all of my kids have, I tried for about two days with my now 2 year old and then went back to the crib and she is doing just fine in there and I am not going to give it a try again until she starts trying to climb out. I hope that helped you out some and good luck with the two of them...I promise it won't be as hard as you might think.

S.,
The first two weeks were the hardest with my son. We transitioned him right after he turned two. Finally I went to supernanny.com and her advice is...Do your family routine, read a couple books get her, her blankets bottle or sippy cup. After you tuck her in leave the room and go about your business. She will come out, do not make eye contact, walk her back to her room, do not have a conversation, just let her know that she is ok and it is bed time. The first night we walked my son back to his room 30 times. The second night it was maybe 25 times by the third night it was only 10...now if he still gets up it is only 1 or 2 times that we have to put him back in. Now he uses the excuses I have to potty or things like that. There isn't an exact sience but now that he is 21/2 after we read a couple books he likes to cuddle. I sit next to his bed and ask about his day after two minutes then I get up and leave (when he is still awake)...this way he knows that i am not there all night long. Hope this helps good luck my daughter is 18m now so we will be doing it again here soon.

Full time working mom of 2 wonderful children a 21/1 yo boy and the sweetest 18mo daughter, married for 5 years to the best husband, father and LT.

do not put her back in the crib. My suggestion is to lay with her while you read her a story or sing songs. Even rub her back until she gets sleepy, but do not let her fall asleep with you next to her. If she still she gets up, you just have to keep walking her back to her bed. Be consistent and she will get it.

Try putting a baby gate up in her doorway. That way, her bedroom door stays open, but she can't leave her room. She'll figure out that the mattress is more comfortable than the floor. That worked for my daughter. We used a tension baby gate that has a foot lever and part of it would swing open like a mini-door, so we didn't have to completely undo the baby gate every time we wanted to walk in there, and then it would just click shut. Good luck!

I used the "Super Nanny" method with our first, and it worked like a charm. You lay them down and leave the room. If they get up, the first time you tell them it's time to go back to bed and put them back. If they get up again, Don't talk, and don't give eye contact. Just put them back. The first night my oldest was in her bed, she got up about 10 times before she fell asleep. After about a week, she wasn't getting up at all. Nap time was a little harder, since it wasn't dark so she would just play. But it gave us a break from each other and occasionally she'd still fall asleep. Good luck!

What worked for us was removing the toys from his room and putting a baby gate up, so that there was no where to go and nothing to do but sleep. first couple of night he slept by the gate, but after that it was fine. hope that helps.

It's going to be a transition for your daughter, too. The only thing I would suggest is that you put a baby gate at the door of her bedroom. Now that she's able to get up and go as she pleases, you don't want her running around the house while you're sleeping. Also, it will be easier for you to let her "cry it out". I had to do it with my son, and it's painful, but honestly it takes 2-3 days tops. The key is consistency...

With my first we had the same problem. So we made a bed time routine. The usually PJ's, brush teeth, and prayers. But then, we would sit with her on her bed and read as many books as she could get through, only if she was laying down though. My husband and I would take turns. The older she got the easier it became and didn't have to read as much. If your little girl loves books, then this should work for her.

We transitioned our daughter into her "Princess" toddler bed when she was 22 months old. We have a night time ritual we do every night. First we take a bath. Then we go and have a night time snack of juice and some food, usually a bit of popcorn or some crackers. Then we go potty and brush our teeth. Next we go get the blanket of the night, because she has 3 blankets she alternates with for sleeping. Then, she climbs into bed and I tuck her in. I sit on the bed and read her a Bible story, or what ever story she has chosen for that night. Then we say our prayers. After this, sometimes I sing her a song, "Dream a Little Dream." There are night she tells me "no song." Then I re tuck her in and give her kisses and I always tell her"Night night sweetie. Sweet dreams. Mom and Daddy love you." She usually goes right to sleep. However, if she gets up, I go tuck her back in and repeat the kisses part. I hope this helps. It seems if I deviate from the routine, it is chaos!

I think you should go ahead and purchase the bed she will use for many years to come (a twin size bed or full size, or whatever you decide) and then put guard rails on it. Make sure you are the one putting her into bed and not letting her climb into it, and never let her play in her bed. That is what we did for our daughter when we transitioned her before she turned 3, and it worked great. She thought her bed was just like the crib because of the guard rails, and with me always the one putting her in just like I did when she was in the crib. Now she knows how to climb in it herself, but she never gets out until I come to get her. I think with the mattress on the floor like you have, it's just to easy for your child to get in and out of it, and it's fun for her to have that freedom.

Good Luck!

Although it will be some work for a while, when she gets out of bed, walk her right back and put her in it. She will keep getting out now just because she CAN!! It is something she now has control over - unlike being "caged" in a crib. After a while, she will realize if she does get out, you will just put her back.....we went through this with our girls and I'm not brave enough to take our son out of his crib yet!! He's way too BUSY!! We also invested in those side rails that slip under the mattress and up on the sides to prevent them from rolling out of bed. These seemed to help give the security of the crib and deterred them a little when wanting to climb out. All I can say is don't give in and let her either sleep in your bed our you sleep in her bed because that is creating a whole other problem. Just walk her back and praise her and make a big deal out of her BIG GIRL bed....eventually she'll get the hang of it. Good luck!!

Slowly move out of the room, and I don't mean all at once. The first night, sit right next to the bed, but don't talk to her or pay attention to her, just be there. The next night, move a little farther, she knows you're there, but don't pay attention or talk to her (stare at the wall if you have to). The next night move a little farther away. on the last few nights you should be in the hallway, and gradually moving out of sight. This is all of course right after your bedtime routine, hugs, kisses, goodnight and go to sleep.

You were right laying with her to fall asleep is a HUGE mistake and disservice to her. Put a baby gate on the bedroom, be firm that it is time to go to sleep and she is NOT to get out of bed. I can say with both of my kids I just set clear boundaries when they were in their bed they were to stay there (unless they have to pee in the middle of the night) and it worked. I put a baby gate on their door since their room was at the top of the stairs. I put a baby monitor by my bed and that was that.
Also starting them with a bedrail on their bed helps too as it has the same feel as security on the bed as a crib did. Remove the crib if she can see it or fill it with stuffed animals.

Make up a fun routine, get her a new "big girl" stuffed animal that needs sleep too, explain sleep helps her grow and be healthy and strong, put her in her bed, baby gate the room, and walk out. Make sure her room is cool, (68 is ideal temp to sleep in) and make sure her room is dark. Get her a noise activated music box or put a fan in her room or whatever will help her stay in bed. Even do a reward chart the first few weeks on her staying in bed and being a big girl.

You may have a few sleepless nights, which stinks being pregnant but getting her to fall asleep by herself will help you both when that baby comes. Don't put the baby in the same room with her either for a while so she doesn't have to relearn another change. Hang in there just be firm, consistent and patient..

S.,

I totally remember when my son was going through this. It was challenging but you'll get through it.

This is what I did: We got rid of the crib but kept the rocking chair in his room. Either myself or my husband would read him a story with him sitting on our lap. We would tell him, before we started reading, what was going to happen.

That is, that after the story was read he was going to lay down in his big boy bed (toddler bed)and that I would stay sitting in the chair until he fell asleep. At first, he would definitely try and get out of his bed and come over to me but I consistently put him back in bed. He usually went to sleep fairly quickly.

Once he got used to that, I slowly weaned away from staying in the room until he didn't need me there anymore.

The important thing in your situation is to remove the other twin bed...its too tempting for you to lay down with him.

Once in a great while, my son who is now 6 years old will ask me to lay down with him at bedtime. Usually I don't but sometimes I do because there will come a day when he won't want Mommy to snuggle with him and I will truly miss that!

Good luck :)

There are baby-proof doorknob covers you can buy and just shut the door. Sometimes my three year old sleeps on the floor, but he sleeps, that is the important thing.

Hi there, S.!

I had a problem with my 2 year old climbing out of his play pen (he didn't have a crib), so we have moved him to a toddler bed. I was worried at first, I thought he wouldn't take to it, but he did just fine. Like the others have said, get her involved. I think she will be more interested if you let her pick things out and such. We let our son "help" us put the new bed together. He thought it was a blast! Try the baby gate thing too. Our son didn't like the door closed, so we put up a baby gate in the doorway and he really liked that. And that way you don't have to worry about her getting up in the middle of the night and getting into things. While getting use to the new bed, she may sleep on the floor sometimes, but that's fine. It's not really hurting anything. If it makes you feel better, you (or your hubby since you shouldn't really be picking her up) can pick her up and put her in her bed. Imo, I don't know about taking her toys out of the room. It works for some, but not for others. I know if I did that, my son would think I was punishing him. It's up to you though.

Hope this helps and good luck with everything! :D

We bought one of those rails to keep our daughter from falling out of the bed and I think it gives her a sense of being enclosed like the crib. Also, one night she threw the biggest tantrum ever and woudn't stay in bed, so we closed the door of her room and let her cry and bang on the door for a few minutes until she got so tired she put herself back to bed. Another idea is to buy a canopy you hang from the ceiling and make her bed into a princess bed - if she's into princesses, she'll love it.

Good luck. I know it's a difficult transition.
R.

Why exactly is it a bad habit to lie down with her to help her go to sleep? Especially since you'll be going to your room once she is asleep. I did this with all my kids. Actually, we allowed them in to our bed and moved them once asleep. Now my youngest is 5 and occasionally asks to be in our bed, but in general they are all very good about sleeping in their own bed from begining to end, no problems.
Enjoy the snuggle time with your little one!

We are expecting #2 as well and we just transitioned our 2.5 year old girl to a toddler bed. When we did, we talked about it first and went shopping and she looked at the beds and climbed into a few of them and she kind of helped pick it out(I guided her to the one I wanted). :) Then she "helped" put it together.

Once we had the bed up, she did start wanting to sleep in our bed with us for some reason, but I just told her she could read bedtime stories in our bed, and I would lay with her for just a few minutes (like 5) and then it was time to go into her own big girl bed. That seemed to do the trick.

We just act very excited about the fact that she has her own bed and that she's a big girl and it's such a neat bed.

She has asked (crying) to go back into the crib a few times, but we just explained a few times that we need it for the new baby. Now she says, "you have a baby in your tummy and it will get bigger and bigger and bigger and you'll go to the hospital and when we come home the baby will sleep in my room." Hope this helps.