Transitioning from Crib to Toddler Bed

I would agree with some of the moms about doing something to make the new bed "exciting". We just moved our 23 mo. old to a twin (with side rails), mainly because we have a new baby coming soon and didn't want him to feel she was taking over his stuff. :)

We had the twin in his room for a long time, occassionally would lie on it, read, etc. Then recently we started asking him if he'd like to go night-night in it, being excited... then put the rails on about a week ago (still asking pretty much everyday if he'd like to go night-night there sometime, he would say yes), then got some fun sheets and moved it to where his crib was, keeping the crib in the room, just in case.

We're on day 2, so far so good... !

Is there a reason why you decided to move him from a crib to a toddler bed?

If he was comfortable in his crib, slept well, was not falling out and/or injuring himself trying to escape it, why ruin that? There is nothing wrong with leaving your child in his crib! In fact, 10 years ago, most children were still in their cribs even at 3 years - this whole "moving your child to a toddler bed" trend is just that, merely a trend (that has also followed the trend of infant and toddler academic training/organized and this whole new cultural expectation that our toddlers should conduct themselves like small adults). Put him back in his crib - its just like potty training. He will let you know when HE is ready - he is obviously not that there yet.

My 2 1/2 year old is still in her crib - she sleeps well, naps, and is a healthy, social, well adjusted child. She will be welcome to sleep in her crib for as long as she wants before she either physically grows out of it or desires to be in a "big girl bed" and has proven that she can handle the responsibility. Part of what characterizes toddlerhood, especially the 2's, is a lack of self sensoring - you can't really expect a 2 year old to not get out of a toddler bed if there is nothing holding him back, its just not one of their natural capabilities! That maturity to understand, follow, and understand WHY one follows a rule comes with age and maturity - something which our toddlers don't have!

Put his crib back together, and instead, make the transition into his new big boy bed in line with some other milestone for him (like his 3rd birthday) instead of just arbitrarily taking him out of his crib. It is HIS bed that he has been sleeping there safely and happily for as long as he can remember - its a big step for a small child!

are they two seperate beds?

We set up both and let her choose for a while..

then nap was in toddler bed.. and then we just took the crib down..

We just did the exact same thing with our 2 yr old daughter. We took the crib side off and made it a toddler bed. We KNEW she would get up and come to our room but our biggest fear was that she would wander around the house at night and get into trouble so we put a baby gate at her door. I leave the door open and the baby gate up so she can see out but can't get out. I also have the camera/monitor sytem in her room so I can see what she is doing when she does get up (best invention ever). She was the same with loving her crib and falling asleep no problem but when it became a toddler bed, she had some issues with falling asleep, etc. We did have to let her "cry it out" for a few nights and naps but now she is adjusted fine and falls asleep pretty easily. When she does get up and cry at the gate, I shout out from our bedroom "that it is time to go beddie bie and go lie down" and she yells, runs to her bed, climbs in and lies down. She might also repeat that a few times but she does eventually lie down and fall asleep (pretty much all night)! We do remove the gate around 5am when my husband gets up for work so she is free to come out whenever she awakes. The door knob also isn't on her door because my husband hasn't put it back on yet after painting the door so if she shuts it, it doesn't stay shut - she just opens it again very easily. The reason we did the baby gate was because I'm 6m pregnant and already having alot of soreness in my pelvis and pubic bones and can hardly get out of bed sometimes so for me to get up 50 times and put her back is not going to work. My husband has to get up at 5am so for him to stay up all night and keep putting her back isn't going to work for him. Anyway, good luck with whatever technique you use.

G. A.

J.,
Maybe you could try one of those side rail "things" (can't remember what their called). Any way they are those rails that slip under the mattress and are up on the side so they don't roll out of bed. My son will be 7 in a couple of weeks and we still have one on his bed where the window is so he won't roll into it and break it. It also makes him feel more secure that he won't fall out the window. Maybe he just needs that little bit of security the sides bring.

We moved our son to a bed (a regular twin, not a toddler bed) at 2 because he was climbing out of the crib. From the very first night that he was in the bed we had a gate across his door. This made it so that even without the confines of the crib he could not leave the room. As far as the fights about bedtime, just continue your regular bedtime routine. Once you have said goodnight and left do not go back. After a few days he will stop crying anf fighting it because he will realize it will not get him any attention. If he wakes during the night, go in one time and put him back in bed. After that do not go in anymore. You could also try getting a new stuffed toy to keep him company in the "big" bed. It might help him more secure in the new situation.

hello, J.! i just wanted to respond that letting your son sleep with you in your bed when he gets us is what is going to delay his transition to the toddler bed: consistancy is the key and when he gets up and comes to your bed you must take him right away back to his own, every time, or he is just learning that he can call all the shots and can go where he pleases. our daughter transitioned to a big bed before she was even two years old and it took less than a week to get her to stay in bed the FIRST time she was put in it! it was torture sometimes (waiting right outside her door because i knew she'd be coming right out, etc.) but it paid off in the end! good luck and stay strong! make sure he has some comforting items with him, too, gets tucked in with favoritte stuffed animals, etc (i'm sure you do :) ) anyhow, i can't stress consistancy: every time you bend the "rules" it's like starting all over from the beginning again (or worse, because he is learning BAD habits!).

When my son was 24 mos. we got him a toddler race car bed and he's really into cars. So he thought it was really cool to go to sleep in his race car bed, that's what really motivated him. Is there something that he likes you can use as a reward or motivator? Cool sheets or a new stuffed animal? We read to him each night and still snuggle in bed with him until he's asleep, but we're working on having him drift off on his own without sitting with him. He's 28 mos. now. One thing at a time, good luck!

Hi J.!

I'm surprised, actually. Usually a child feels very BIG whenthey get their Big Boy Bed.

Maybe it's as simple as he wasn't ready to "feel big".

If it were my situation, I probably wouldn't put the crib back together....that's alot of work :o) But I would probably do everything I could to make your son feel more secure in his new bed...which means probably laying with him for awhile until he's more secure.

Poor thing just wasn't ready for a change. But you can make him feel "ok" in his bed, just by giving him the courage to sleep in it :o)

:o) N.

Sounds familiar. We got our daughter a toddler bed for her 2nd birthday and immediately started having the same problems as you. Unfortunately I realized I had to just suck it up for a week or 2 and keep putting her back in her own bed while she threw a fit. It did take about 2 weeks though for the fits to stop. My daughter has a blankie that she still gets, but only at bed time and she still has the music n lights aquarium that was on her crib too so I think both of those comforting things helped her. If your son doesn't have those maybe you should try buying something like that. I know they have constellation projectors so maybe he may like that. I know how hard it is when all you want to do is sleep, but having our bed back to ourselves made it all worth it. Good luck!

I would start over. He's telling you as clearly as he can he's not quite ready.

One choice you might not have considered is to make him up a bed or little cot of some kind in your room. He may feel more secure still being near you. It's probably just too big of a leap to make two changes at once - sleeping alone, and sleeping farther away. For kids like ours who have had the wonderful benefit of sleeping with or near mama up to now, it's a two step process and a little extra time and patience can pay off in good sleep later. We did a slow progression from cosleeper, to crib next to the bed, then to toddler bed in his own room and that seemed to work great for our son, he is now a very good sleeper who doesn't do that 'getting up for one more drink of water' thing and he falls asleep easily and very quickly.

So, in my experience, a child will 'move out' to his own room when he's ready, but it's best if you make it seem as though it was his idea. We used this method to get our son to sleep in his room after he turned three - Keep the toddler bed set up, but don't ask him to sleep in it. Make it a snuggly appealing place, and then orchestrate postive experiences to happen there. You want to leave behind the negative association of the nights crying at bedtime, and replace that with the feeling that the bed is a happy place where nice things happen, like snuggling with mommy, reading stories or playing. Do only fun things in the bed. If he asks about what it's for, just be very casual. We simply said, "oh, you will get to sleep in there someday" and left it at that. After a few weeks, he started asking if he could please sleep in the big boy bed. Of course he'd come back into our room later, but we did not comment on it and in another few weeks even that stopped. :)

I feel that a toddler bed is yet another ploy by the baby/furniture industry to suck more money out of us gullible parents! Nevertheless, if your son is anything like my wigglebug we put him in a Big Boy twin bed because he was getting his feet caught in the crib bars in his sleep even with a bumper pad.
We took him to the kids furniture store and let him try the bed and open the dresser drawers, etc. The stuff was custom & took forever to ship so that built up a lot of anticipation in itself. We made a big deal about the Big Boy room and moved the changing table, crib & sorted out his baby toys that he had outgrown along with a snazzy paint job by Grandpa and shopping for his big boy bed sheets, etc. He really got into it. He was 3 when his stuff arrived and "helped" the delivery men set it up - very exciting tools, etc.
Anyway - take your son out shopping for bedding for his new bed and let him help choose - and maybe a new cuddly bear or something to cozy it up. Whenever someone visits have him show off his big bed (this works for potty training too - show off the undies or brag about how long he's gone with no accidents). We put a guard rail on the bed and have it against the same wall his crib was on - not the best layout for the room - but when he can sleep without the rail we'll re-arrange it.
Try to make it fun for him - let him play in his bed - tuck a bear in for a nap or play hospital and have the bed be the exam table. My son likes to pretend his bed is a boat or a zoo & loads it up with animals. Get him to make friends with the bed and see it as HIS. Everyone needs 28 days to adjust to a new bed or environment so be patient. (28 days according to research done by the mattress industry)
He'll be o.k. boys don't like change and some of them never grow out of it!

I was fortunate to always have a good sleeper, however when we transistioned from my son's first bed to his "big boy bed", we went from his crib/pak n play in our room for a year and a half to a twin with rails in his own room in one fatal swoop, it really helped to lay down with him for about half an hour until he fell alseep for the first few weeks (hard I know), but than we started transistioning to laying him down and only staying if he asked, than laying him down and every other time saying "no I need to go downstairs", etc. etc. until about two months later he was sleeping in his room, in his bed thru the whole night, no problems. We also put a gate on his room so that if he did get out of bed, he couldn't run down the hall.

Not sure if that helps
K.