Tramatic Potty Training Experience

Updated on January 10, 2009
M.M. asks from Chattanooga, TN
62 answers

My 2 1/2 year old boy is potty training.I have tried everything I have been instructed to try. I've tried to take him to the potty every 1/2 hour for a couple of days but we had interuptions with illnesses and certain days off that do not allow for consistency. I feel like I am trying to tackle this project on my own even though my in-laws have my children alot and my husband plays a game on the computer that he has a hard time tearing himself away from. So,I need advice on how to do this as a single parent. I have tried everything I know..(ie: rewards such as toys,candy and stickers, the hope of pull-ups or real underware. Nothing seems to be helping. He almost seems to prefer to be wet and dirty. I have tried to not change him immediately but he won't tell me when he needs changing or when I ask him if he is dirty he tells me, "No." even though I can smell him. I don't like to wait to long because I don't like him to have diaper rash or a raw rear end because of it.

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K.F.

answers from Clarksville on

I see this is back from Nov. How is it going now? I find that if you let them train in their own time it will happen. My daughter is 3 almost 4 but we didn't even start till she was 3 & then when she was ready she was totally trained in 1 week. I live in Dover area maybe we can meet up some time. K.

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J.H.

answers from Charlotte on

M.,

I know exactly what you are going through. I also am potty training my 2 1/2 year old boy and he's the same way. He hides when he's going to the potty and will tell me NO when I ask him if he needs to sit on the potty. The only thing that seems to help is when I want him to sit on the toilet I tell hime he has to do it before he does something else. For example, in the morning I tell him he has to sit on the potty before he can have breakfast. If he wants to watch a show on TV then he has to sit on the potty before so. He may not go everytime but it's getting him into the habit of sitting on the toilet and then hopefully he will go one time and that will start the upward trend from diapers to underware. Hope this helps.

J.

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E.S.

answers from Wilmington on

I had a boy going beyond 3 years old that would not poop on the potty...now is the time to use a little bit of "tactics". My boy finally sat and pooped when we got "Santa" involved. Use his heroes where you can. Just as Santa can be a great catalyst. Worked for me and my office manager. Let me know???!!

____@____.com

More Answers

T.C.

answers from Lexington on

Not to be nasty but I would start by tossing your husband's video game out the door. He's a father now and should be helping you with everything possible. Your son see's your husbands refusal to help you and is imitating his father. Daddy doesn't help mommy, neither will I. At this point in your son's life eating and going potty are the only things he can control. You are not a single mother so you sould not prepare your life with your children as being one.
That said, I would try a timer. My daughter loved it. Together we would set it for every 35 minutes or so and when it dinged we would make a big deal out of it and sit on the potty for a few miuntes, even if she DIDN'T go. I also bought her Bear in the Big Blue House Potty Time DVD and the Muppets No More Diapers board book. We dealt with AWFUL diaper rashes, constipation and illness too, but after those three things were done in unison my daughter trained in about 2 weeks. My daughter still goes potty with a book in hand, it helps her to relax. Boys seem to be harder and it is not unusual for them to be closer to 3 when they get the hang of it.
I wasn't demeaning your family life above, but with little boys, dad's make a huge difference when it comes to things like this.

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C.R.

answers from Charleston on

I cannot help you with the potty training...sorry. But, I would ask your husband not to act like your third child and get up and help you! These are his responsibilities as well. You should never have to ask for advice as if you were a single parent. Do not settle for this behavior if you want to stay married for a very long time. Sorry about my rant, I have a very helpful and involved husband and it is still very tough sometimes. I can't imagine having to do this by myself. I do, however, applaud anyone who does! Good luck.

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L.R.

answers from Memphis on

Oh, I have been there! After 2 girls then a boy, I did discover and learned from many moms that most boys are not ready at 2 1/2. My girls were potty trained in 3 days over a long weekend at 2. I tried my son at 2, 2 1/2 and then just finally waited until her matured more just after his 3rd birthday. Then it was easier though, it did taken several weeks until I could really say he was potty trained. It should be very simple following the technics you listed above if you just wait a little longer. It should not be a horrible experience for either one of you. He just does not sound ready.

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A.M.

answers from Charleston on

I had this very same problem with my daughter who is going to be four in march and let me tell you not only is this hard for you but its hard for your child too this is what ihave learned...if i were you i would stop! when he is ready he will do it but until he is ready it isnt gonig to happen and all you are doing by pursuing it is making the two of you upset. Let him go back to wearing diapers but when you change him nicely say ewww grose you should do this in the potty and then when he is three or mayb a lil over try again give him some time.

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T.A.

answers from Charleston on

I totally agree with Teresa C. You are not a single parent, and you shouldn't have to act like one. Dad needs to get on board. My husband deserved most of the credit for training our son. He would take him to the potty when he had to go himself, and our son wanted to be just like his Dad! And a lot of these mothers may be right in that he just isn't ready yet. When my granddaughter was potty training, my daughter began a couple of times, and when she didn't get great cooperation, she dropped it. She was nearly 3 when she was fully trained, but at that time she was ready, and she had only a couple of accidents. When they are ready, it is usually painless.

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J.G.

answers from Greensboro on

Let his father help. If he sees his father go he will go too. Also don't pressure him he will go when it is his time. Read to him while he is on the potty and let him look at a book or play with a toy. Try to make it a pleasent experience.

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S.P.

answers from Nashville on

I didn't read all the previous posts - so sorry if I repeat.
Just give it a little time...back off for a while. He's just not ready yet. Even just a couple months can make a huge difference. And I don't suggest turning this into a huge issue with your husband. The game addiction is a whole different matter...but hopefully he brings other things to the table when it comes to help with the kids.

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G.W.

answers from Clarksville on

Relax, he is 2 1/2 and that is early for a boy. The success with both of mine came from reading lots of potty books that are funny (Does a Pig Flush, My Big Boy Potty, etc) while sitting on the potty and when cuddling. I allowed lots of naked time so that nothing could catch the pee or poo, outside is good for that. : ) I also kept fun big kid undies (princesses for my daughter and trains etc for my son) next to the diapers and we switched when they said they wanted to wear them. When an accident happened, I would clean up and then give them a disinfectant wipe to help (they couldn't just walk away and leave it for me). Relax, and when he is ready, it will be easy! My daughter was about 2 and 3 months, my son potty trained 2 weeks before he turned 3. He had fewer oopsies than she did. Oh, we went from diapers to underwear, I am not a fan of pull ups.

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R.N.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi, M.. I am sorry to hear about your little guy's trauma :) I have a 4-year-old daughter that I thought would NEVER be potty trained. I started by getting her a potty chair that she liked. I took her to Wal-Mart and picked two or three that I liked, and told her she could choose out of those which one she wanted. Of course, I had hyped it up for like 4-5 days before we went, and made it sound like it was a HUGE deal and got her excited about choosing her very own potty chair. (She was just under 3 when I did this.) I also made the trip ONLY about the potty chair. I didn't buy ANYTHING else on that trip, so it was really and truly just HER trip to Wal-Mart. Then I would let her sit on her potty and put stickers on the toilet lid for as long as she wanted. I also would ONLY let her have her stickers when she was on the potty chair. At first, she would sit on it with her pants on, but after just 2-3 days, she was ok with having her pants and daiper off on the potty, as long as I kept those stickers coming. It ended up training her to peepee on the potty in like 1-2 weeks, but that part was really easy in hindsight. The pooping was much harder, but it finally sunk in for her, literally overnight. You have probably heard that it happens that way, and it is absolutely true. It took over 1 year to get her pooping on the potty, and I thought it was never going to happen. We just kept on that sticker routine, and really making a larger-than-life deal of it when she would do either on the potty. Also my son, who is now 16, didn't potty train until he was about 3 1/2. You just have to let them go at their own pace, and don't worry about if others tell you that there is a cut-off by which they should be trained. My son also trained "overnight" after EIGHTEEN months of fighting it. Every kid is different, and they all learn differently. You just have to adapt to them and let them get it in their own time.

Hang in there, and don't give up, even though your nerves are grated on to the bitter end. Just when you think you are never gonna get that kid on the potty, it'll happen.

Good Luck!

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A.R.

answers from Knoxville on

First of all hit your husband over the head with his computer. (Obviously I am joking) My daughter was potty trained very young but not because of of me. Her Babysitter was very tolerant and had been taking care of children for 50 years. She would put my daughter in thoses padded underwear with no pants on and leave a stack of them sitting out. When she would have a mess she would have my daughter change herself (of course the poop is another story). I did the same at my house and she was trained in a couple of weeks. Good luck!!

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A.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

hey, I know your post has been up a while, but i just counldn't help wanting to tell you this. I know people say all kids of things about when kids "should" be potty trained. but let me tell you trying to force a kid when he/she is a battle you will not win. (lol) I was in a very similar posistion, no help, working, i was also pregnant so i gave up on trying to potty train my then 2 and 1/2 year old girl. when i quit trying and just encouraged her and talked about how cool it was to potty and just silly things it get her interested. my son was born on jan 13 "08" by jan 27th she was completly potty trained. now granted we still have accidents at night. we also live in the middle of no where, it takes about 45 min to get to town. so i feel as if my battle with pull ups is the never ending battle. i can't make it to a bathroom in time ,and if we do, i have to lug my now almost 1 year old son in, get her in the store, find the bathroom, help her reach the toilet, help her wipe, help her reach the sink to wash her hands. all while holding my son. wow!! it almost makes me miss diapers. by the time i get out to the car i;m exhausted and frustrated. good luck and just remember, he has a mind of his own.

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K.W.

answers from Clarksville on

M., It's entirely possible that HE's not ready, even though you are. It's not uncommon for boys to be trained later than girls. I don't think you are doing anything wrong, but like I said, he just may not be ready. Maybe you could just let it go for a month or so, and then give it a shot again after the holidays. Both of my boys were 3+ when they were trained, whereas my daughter was around 26 months. Good luck to you :-)

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G.G.

answers from Charlotte on

Do yourself a favor and drop it for a while. Your son doesn't seem ready. I have potty trained my four kids and I think it was easiest when they told me when they wanted to do it... boys are tougher and my oldest didn't succeed (despite me trying very hard since I had two in diapers and it was getting expensive!) until he was 3 years and 3 months! He is almost 12 now and, although I have no idea how old he was when he lost his first tooth or took his first steps, I remember when he was potty trained!!! They need to want it. You can always promise to get some great underwear when he decides "to be a big boy and go pee pee on the toilet" or whatever reward you think will work. My oldest would have pee down to his shoes and tell me he wasn't wet and didn't want to be changed. It just didn't bother him at the time. (It doesn't mean they are dumb... my son has tested in the genius range for IQ, no joke, but he couldn't get potty training down pat until past three!!!) Be patient and good luck! Oh, and when he does seem more interested... Froot Loops in the toilet as a tinkle-target can make it a little more fun for them. Buy some Clorox wipes though, because they are not good at aiming!!!

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K.M.

answers from Raleigh on

Boys are clearly harder to train than girls. One thing that worked effective for me was that we took a couple days and watched him closely. All of our bodies are on a natural time clock (so to speak). We timed everytime he used the restroom in his diaper, all day long for a couple days. Then we put him in pull-up which are like diapers but it does completely absorb to the point where the child does not feel it. Diapers are made to absorb alot but pull-ups are trianing pants that will not absorb as much. Then we made sure that he went to the restroom every hour and we sat in there with him until he used the restroom.We gave him much praise. BTW, the cheerio thing did work for us when we were trying to get him to stand up and use the bathroom but that is something only dad can teach him.

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M.E.

answers from Lexington on

sounds to me like he is not ready for potty training. boys a lot of times take longer than girls. put him back in diapers for a while and try again in a few months. he'll start giving you clues when he's ready...like taking his diaper off him self when he's wet/dirty, telling you he's wet/dirty, staying dry for longer stretches, wanting to watch you and daddy when you use the potty, and showing interest in the potty itself like playing with it, putting his toys on it and letting them go potty or just sitting on it with his clothes on. just remember, don't push TOO hard cause it can cause him to rebel and praise every effort he makes even if he's not successful. my daughter is 2 1/2 and started showing a mild interest when she was about 18 months. she is pretty well trained but it changes from one day to the next...one day she'll peepee all day long in the potty and the next she'll 3 or 4 accidents, and she still refuses to poop in the potty(we're still working on that part). just be patient, he'll get it when he's ready.

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C.D.

answers from Nashville on

Hello M.,
Others have said it already, but I'll chime in and say, 'put him back in diapers.' When you do this, be sure NOT to shame him or in any way indicate that it's a bad thing. He'll do it when he's ready. My grandson was over three when he ultimately 'let go' of the control and started pooping in the potty.
It's a very big step for these little guys. They each do it when they're ready, and your little guy's not quite ready.

C.

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R.S.

answers from Greensboro on

My daughter is 3 and could care less about the whole potty process. She'll do it every now and then, but nothing consistent. At her 3 yr check up the doc said to just stop... quit everything and then in a month or so start poo-poo training. He said not to even worry about peeing in the potty. Just put her on the potty after a meal for 10 minutes and that's it. We're not there yet... I'm still just ignoring it all like he said. It has made my days much calmer. He also said that most kids that are forced to potty train end up with potty issues when they get older because of the trauma of it all. The nurse said that it will happen before she goes to elementary school. :-) Good luck...

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A.S.

answers from Raleigh on

I worked in daycare for quite some time and most boys did not start successfully potty training until they were about 3 and 1/2. We even had some boys that did not get it until they were almost 5. I think that you may have the right idea starting early but he may not be physically ready to handle that yet.Just be patient and let him know daddy is a big boy and goes potty, mommy goes potty, etc. Ensourage him when he goes and understand he is still very young. Eventually he will catch on. My nephew is 4 and he went from one night refusing to use the bathroom to the next day going and never using his pull up again- it was as if a light bulb went off. My girls on the other hand decided very young they wanted to go potty(a little under 2)- girls learn so much faster than boys during potty training. I wish you the best of luck!

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S.M.

answers from Raleigh on

Maybe he is just not ready. I have a girl so maybe my experience is different. My daughter showed interest in sitting on the potty and then lost interest. I didn't push the subject and then a few months later she told me she wanted to wear big girl panties and we were done.
Good luck it is always an adenture!

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S.W.

answers from Raleigh on

My feeling would be that he is not ready. My second child (daughter) was not fully potty trained until she was almost 4 yrs.old. I started trying to potty train her when she was 2 1/2 because that was when her older sister became potty trained. However, I quickly learned that they are two totally different children. She was just not ready. I have begun to learn that this child has her own time frame for things. We went round and round until I just gave up a let her tell me when she was ready. And when she did....she did. I mean almost immediately and there were no accidents at night (unlike her sister). It was great! Patience will definitely a plus for you. Don't force it. Especially with no "help", you will just wear yourself out and your son. Best wishes!

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K.T.

answers from Lexington on

HE'S NOT READY! I tried training my first son when he was 2 1/2 and after several accidents I found myself getting angry with him. I knew then that it was not worth it for him or me. I then made a decision to let him do it on his own. I kept the potty out, I made a big deal out of my husband and myself when we went potty, and we read books. Finally at 3 1/2 he woke up one day and said he didn't want his pullups anymore. We never had an accident even at night. I did the same with my second son and he got rid of his pull-ups at 3. Again never an accident or wet bed. Potty training is a control issue, one of the only things that children feel that they have control over. LET THEM! A wise woman, my m-i-l, once said that by 4, 99% of all children are potty-trained. Some parents get trained long before their kids.

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A.H.

answers from Charleston on

Hi! I have a 2 1/2 year old little boy too that i have been working with as well. He is just like your son. He wont tell me when he needs to go and he just doesnt care. I talked to the Ped. about him and he said that it sounds like he isnt ready. I am like you and want a diaper free kid but it isnt worth working you tail off when he isnt ready. I am telling ya when they are ready we will know, and it will be alot easier then! Hope this helps and Good luck!!!

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M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

I agree with Teresa--toss out those games until the kid is potty trained--but he shouldn't be "helping you", he should be taking an active role to raise his kids.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

hes not ready yet. wait until HE shows you the signs... knowing when hes wet and wanting to be changed stay dry for longer periods ect. hes only 2 1/2 thats early for a boy

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P.W.

answers from Wheeling on

I have 2 boys, ages 5 and 3 1/2. I know where you are. My oldest was 4 1/2 when we finally were in underwear. My youngest just 1 week ago ditched the pull-ups for underwear. My suggestion is echoed elsewhere, stop for now and try again in a couple of months.

Is you little guy dry when he wakes up in the morning. If not, wait until that happens. It means his system is not ready. I would especially wait until after the holidays. This time of year is so hetic, you don't need the added stress (and I mean stress) of potty training.

I too have a husband who loves gaming - he has a 52 inch TV to play his little games on and just bought a new gaming system. Oh Yeah. So I understand the potty training by yourself.

After the holidays, get the in-laws involved. Make sure everyone is on the same page. If they have him, they have to help or it will not work (trust me). Talk to them. Tell them that you want to be consistent, at your house and theirs. That will help immensely.

Enjoy your holiday and just know, he won't go to kindergarten with a diaper bag. You have lots of time.

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V.S.

answers from Raleigh on

I'm sure you heard this before but perhaps your son is not ready at 2 1/2. My son potty trained at 2 years and 9 months+ and was fully potty trained (fully meaning pooping in the toilet and dry overnight) right about 3 years old. I have friends that have sons that were not potty trained even after 3, and I think that's normal, especially for boys. Hope this helps!

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J.M.

answers from Charlotte on

I think we may have the same son. Mine is also 2 1/2 (well, he'll be 3 in Feb.). My mom has been living with us for the past 2 months or so so help with daycare. Because she is now the one home with him all day, she's really been pushing him to use the potty. I keep trying to tell her that pushing will make it worse - he's just not ready. he doesn't mind being soaking wet or dirty. Doesn't bother him one bit. My mom thinks this is a huge problem. She's tried snacks, stickers, etc. Nothing works for longer than a day. Hang in there. We're in the same boat!

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L.W.

answers from Lexington on

He might not be ready just yet. I have 4 boys and the 3 older ones did not train until they were 3...then they trained in just a few days. Once they are ready, it's really easy - no rewards needed...just lots of praise and excitement in the bathroom. Try to be patient...I know you'd love to get him out of diapers since you have a 9 mo old, but I would suggest just dropping it and waiting a while and see what happens.

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D.P.

answers from Raleigh on

M.,
I agree that he just isn't ready. Pushing the issue will just frustrate you.I have a 2 yr old boy, too, and we have gotten just about as far as you on potty training. We are just letting it go and will try again in a month or two.

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S.T.

answers from Johnson City on

My advice is to wait. At 2 1/2 he may not be ready. I started with my daughter when she was that age. We worked consistently for over a week with NO success. I decided she wasn't ready, so we stopped trying. I would take her if she asked, but there was no pushing on my part. We started again 6 months later and she was trained in 2 days. She is now four and we have only had one accident that I can remember and she has NEVER wet her bed at night. Younger isn't always better.

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R.B.

answers from Raleigh on

Maybe he just isn't ready. Every kid is different & boys usually train later than girls. So relax, he will know that you are stressed out. With my oldest I started trying to potty train her at 2 and stressed myself out needlesly for almost a year. The week after she turned 3, she said no more diapers mommy & she was trained within a week.

R.

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K.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would have to agree that he doesn't sound ready.

I would stop the potty training and start some prep work. If you read to him every night, only read to him books about going potty. Ask him to sit on the potty before he goes into the bathtub, don't make any comment about him sitting on it, but WHEN he does go (they all eventually will) make a huge big deal about what a good job he's done. This process of sitting on the potty before he goes in the bathtub will usually get a some favorable results in 4-6 weeks.

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M.H.

answers from Nashville on

let him run around naked as much as you can--inside that is :)--. they seem to "get it" much quicker and then you can slowly progress to using underwear.

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S.D.

answers from Chattanooga on

Maybe he's just not ready? My dd was three before she decided she was ready to be potty trained. We tried before, treats, or threats if she didnt go nothing worked. Then one day she decided she wanted to wear her new underpants and decided she wanted to use the potty. Kids know when they're ready and I feel we cant make them do something if they're not ready yet. Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Hickory on

He doesn't sound ready for it, and I'd stop banging my head against the wall. By three he'll probably have more social pressure (being the only one at school still wearing diapers rather than "big boy pants") and he'll probably care more. Good luck.

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E.A.

answers from Clarksville on

My son took a while before he got the hang of using the potty on his own. He was just shy of turning three and I wondered if he was ever going to learn. Your son may not be completly ready yet. I tried to get my son to go since he was about almost 2 and he was not interested. My daughter was fully trainined when she was 18 months. I think its a boy thing.
Give him time and eventually he will get the hang of if. You can try to having him wear big boy underwear and not a diaper, my son seemed to not care when he was wearing a diaper but when I had him in underwear was a little more aware of when he had to go. You will have accidents, but he will eventually get it.

Good luck!

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A.R.

answers from Chattanooga on

Hi Maire.

I went through the same thing, gamer husband and all. Our oldest (who is three) has not been potty trained for very long. If you really feel like he is ready, then I will tell you the only thing that worked for me. I went and bought him some big boy underwear with characters he likes for his third birthday. Then, I just put him in his underwear (except at night) and when he wet his pants he was reprimanded. Nothing big unless I had just asked him if he needed to potty. He surprised me by telling me when he had wet his pants. He was also very proud of himself when he went to the potty because I cheered and cheered and let him call his Grandmama, etc. It was a very annoying hassle, I will admit that. He would tell me he needed to potty and would sit there forever with nothing happening. I felt like I spent nearly all my time in the bathroom for the first few weeks. Now he goes on his own to "make wet" and "make ews" all the time, calling me only if he needs help wiping. It happened rather fast after he realized what was expected of him and he loved his underwear. I let him choose his own. It's hard, but you just have to break down, deal with messes, and be consistent. It's a pain - it really is, but I am SO HAPPY that he is potty trained now and wish I had done it earlier. I wish I could start my one year old on the route, but he doesn't talk much at all yet and I don't think he has the comprehensive skills to understand what I want him to do yet.

However, DO NOT FEEL BADLY. I actually know a couple of three year olds, some three and a half, who still aren't potty trained. It's hard to do when you're the only one working with him. The big boy underwear along with rewarding him when he did well and reprimanding him when he wet his pants (unless it was an actual accident, like nap time or something) worked really well for us. At first, I would just tell him that big boys don't wet their pants and he should try to tell me before he made his underwear wet. If he wet his pants about ten seconds after I just asked him if he needed to potty, I would usually make him help me clean it up or stand in the corner while I cleaned it up. On the days he did well, I would tell him that he was acting like a big boy and did not have to nap with his brother, but if he'd wet his pants more than once that morning I'd say that little babies wet their pants and little babies also took naps. It seems a little mean, but it was never very traumatic or a big deal. Mostly, he just got the hang of it. =)

Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from Santa Fe on

It may be a little early. Take a step back and ask yourself why you are potty-training. If your reasons are sufficient, then you may go ahead, but be ready for a battle if he does not want to potty train (which it sounds like he doesn't!). It will probably be easiest to back off now and wait until he is more ready; but if you are determined to do it or actually *must* do it for some reason, you have to be more determined for him to p-t than he is not to p-t.

All kids are different, so what worked for one child may not work for another. My older son happened to be running around without a diaper one day (he had been playing in the mud) and realized he needed to pee, but didn't have a diaper on and was horrified that he was about to pee on the floor (I quickly ran him to the potty). There were some bumps on the road, of course, but he basically did it himself.

My younger son was completely different, of course -- he started pulling his diaper off (usually when it was wet, but sometimes when it was dry). If I didn't catch him quickly enough, he would frequently pee in the floor. I was not ready to p-t him yet, and I didn't really think he was ready, but I couldn't just allow him to pee all over the floor, either! So I let him run around without a diaper (since he would take it off within just a few minutes of my putting it on him), and took him to the potty, and spanked him when he peed on the floor. It was a much longer road, but really the only way I could do it, since he wouldn't keep his diaper on.

So, if your son is hard-headed, you may end up spanking him a lot. (Or punishing him otherwise.) If you aren't willing to put that effort into it, then you should probably just take a breather on this potty-training business and take it up later.

Oh, and my husband has also let me take potty-training (and everything else) by myself. His computer addiction of choice was World of Warcraft. (Finally he started having disturbing dreams because of it and got rid of it. Yay!!!!)

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T.M.

answers from Memphis on

Put him back in diapers. He has to much going on in his little life. He's not ready. It will happen but for now, he is not ready. It's a control issue. He has no control over all the other stuff, so he is being stuborn about this. It is a fact of life that he will choose to use the potty, when he thinks no one else cares about it. Stop trying. Give yourself a break and if anyone has anything to say about it, then tell them they need to help. With my son, I had to pick a day when he was three, and he wanted to go out and play, but I would not let him put on cloth until he used the potty. It was an all out war. He was so angry because he had to have cloth on to go out and play but he didnt want to use the potty. It was his choice. He pitched a fit in one way or another on and off for hours. It was so hard to put aside everything else I needed to get done that day and take on this battle. And yes, I had to do it alone, my family and friends where all harrafied. There was no way for them to understand, I didn't have time or patience to deal with them and my son. Good luck, mom. And please give it a breal for a couple of months, then pick a day when you feel strong enough to have a war.

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C.B.

answers from Charlotte on

I am just going to be honest with you. Most boys are not easily potty trained. If he cannot tell you when he is "dirty" then he is probably not ready yet. Try again when he is 3. Have him to sit at first and stand only when he is tall enough. I promise he will not sit forever! I have a boy and he was about 3 1/2 when he was fully "pee" trained and almost 4 before he would "poop" in the potty. I would put him on the potty and tickle his belly and he would laugh so hard that he would start to pee. He finally got the hang of it and would go to the bathroom every time that he had to go. Pooping was another story. He would hold it for so long that I would have to give him Miralax to get him to go.
Best wishes to you.

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J.P.

answers from Louisville on

I would say since he isn't telling you he needs changed, he may not be ready. That is a big sign to show readiness. I would wait a little bit longer. Is he around other children that are already potty trained? That is what really helped with my son.

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D.

answers from Nashville on

Relax. It sounds like he isn't ready. It will come, you don't see kids in high school who aren't potty trained. Take a break for a while(couple of weeks or a month) and try again. With my son it was like a switch and once it turned on he was ready(going both #1 & #2) by himself with few accidents. Sometimes we get caught up in what we read or see other children doing. We all deveolp at our own pace. Hang in there!

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K.A.

answers from Nashville on

Hi M.,

My simple solution worked great for my son, who was potty trained at 18 months. He is now 28. He didn't want to stop playing hot wheels, long enough to go potty. So when he was hard at play, I'd walk in with a coke bottle (glass back then) and I'd say, "fill her up". He would pee in the bottle and laugh. We would mark on the bottle how high it was with a marker and the next time, he would try to go higher. He thought it was fun and he wasn't interupted in his play. No harm was done and eventually he started just running to the potty and going back to play. It worked great for him.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

Maybe he is not ready. Every child is different and they say that most kids are not ready until 3-4 yrs old. We tried to train our daughter at 2 1/2 and she not only did what your son is doing but she threw a fit when I put the panties on her. We waited and tried again at 3 yrs old and she was much better. She has been trained for about a week but is still not poop trained! They know enough how to do it, it is just a matter of wanting to do it. If he is not ready, wait 4-5 months until he is 3.

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A.J.

answers from Knoxville on

hi M., I have heard fromfriends of mine to put a few cheerios in the toilet. Tell your son to aim for them when he pees. Sometimes making a game out of potty training might be helpful. Good luck A..

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E.F.

answers from Louisville on

My son potty trained at 2 1/5 just fine. That's not to say that we didn't have illness and other set backs. Set backs, repeated ones, are totally normal. Accidents go from happening almost constantly, down to 1 per day after a couple of months, then down to 2 per weeks after a couple of months. Then you might start to work on night time. I really found "No Cry Potty Solution" to be the perfect book for this maddening but important season in life. Remember, you don't have to invent a method, it's already out there.

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A.M.

answers from Charlotte on

He may not be ready. My ped told me not to push it and they will let you know when they are ready. I would ask them and put them on the potty at bath time. Then before they both turned three I found them on the potty and I did not even put them there. All kids are different and he may not be ready.

A.

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J.S.

answers from Fayetteville on

First of all, it sounds as though you are doing all the right things. So long as YOU remain consistent with him, he will catch on sooner or later.

Secondly, my son is 4 1/2 and is JUST NOW potty trained. We're still having issues with underwear, since he wants to treat them like pull-ups. I resorted to the 1/2 naked approach. That is, when we're at home, he runs around without any bottoms on...just a shirt. FYI: We have had NO accidents doing this. All the accidents happen when we go out and he gets too busy doing something else that he doesn't tell me he has to go pee. I'm very fortunate, though because he pretty much always tells me when he has to poop.

Everyone says boys are harder to train than girls, but I really don't have anything to compare it to. Yes, it's very frustrating, especially for you as a parent. I really just try to remind myself that eventually, he'll get it.

As for your husband, I would gently remind him that these are his kids, too, and he needs to help. Besides, using daddy as the example goes a long way, even at this young age.

Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Huntington on

I don't think he is ready. My experience is that starting earlier doesn't potty train sooner, it just drags out the process. We waited until closer to age 3 and my son was potty trained in a week. My sister's daughter was potty trained a slight bit sooner, but she worked on it for 6 months. No fun for anyone!!!

Good luck!!

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J.L.

answers from Wilmington on

I have three kids. 9, 8 and 3. The best advice my pediatrician gave me with my first kid was: if the potty training experience is driving the parent crazy then STOP, because its too soon. I tried at 2 1/2 to train my son and she made me stop for a few months. I stopped until he was 3. When we picked it back up he was literally potty trained in one weekend. It was incredible. He was older, more mature and it really made all the difference. My son was the oldest, I ended up waiting until my two girls were three before I potty trained them too. It was so easy and almost over nite, but mothers don't like to hear waiting until 3 years of age. It seems so old. But, it really makes all the difference. Don't succumb to peer pressure from other parents...... The longer you wait, the more enjoyable the experience. I have a 3 1/2 year old girl and she still wears pull ups at night only, but since I waited until she was 3.2 years old, she literally potty trained INSTANTLY. The minute I took her diaper off was the minute she was potty trained. Its amazing when you wait!

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Toilet Training in Less Than a Day worked on my son when he was 27 months, in less than a day. It's a book; you can find it on amazon. You have to do it exactly how it says, without leaving anything out. You can also skip the first three chapters if you are short on time. You'll want to get some loose-fitting training pants that he can pull up and down himself, and teach him how to do that and let him practice (even with regular pants when he's getting dressed). Get a doll that pees. It doesn't have to be fancy, just something that has a hole in the mouth and a hole in the bottom. That's part of the training. Good luck!

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C.R.

answers from Lexington on

Try throwing cheerios in the toilet and having him "shoot" through the rings. I am pregnant with a girl, but I've heard this works for little boys.

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A.

answers from Charlotte on

I know you're frustrated for a variety of reasons, but it's still early for your son to potty train. There's so much out there telling moms that this age or that age is when our kids should be accomplishing things. He will go to the potty when he's ready. My daughter was three before she finally was ready. I tried the usual means, but she wasn't interested. The one day, she said she needed to go potty and that was it. Granted, there were plenty of accidents but that's to be expected. If possible, you may try a Mom's Morning Out program to get him around other kids who are potty training too. Seeing them do it may help.
Good luck and stay strong. You should talk to your hubby and make him understand and share your stresses. They are perfectly natural.

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C.A.

answers from Parkersburg on

M.,
Hi,
STOP!!!!!!!!!!You yourself are making this hard.Sometimes lil guys are older,Maybe wait till he is 3.He can feel your stress about potty training.So he is working against you.Have you tried just letting him stand & hold the container from the chair after all he is a lil guy.Actually your husband would be a great help since he has the same equipment!!!!!But just because the book said & other people say,mine was potty trained @ 2 or etc,doesn't mean squat!!!!!Every lil person is different.So good luck & Bless you all.OOOOOOOOOHHHHH,I am a Grandma & had 2 children of our own.
HHHuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggs
Gammaw/NANA

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K.D.

answers from Raleigh on

My son was over 3 years old when he was potty trained. We tried everything to hurry it up and they all failed. Once he was ready it was much easier.

I complained once to a daycare worker that 'he'll never be potty trained' and she said that's why they have roommates in college, to help change those diapers. ;-)

So, remember, this too shall pass.

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N.K.

answers from Nashville on

Could you give it a few more months? I'm the mother of 4 boys and have found that my boys weren't ready until age 3...girls always seem to train earlier. Ywo of my boys literaaly trained themselves when they were ready!! Good luck!!!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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M.T.

answers from Raleigh on

Just hold off for now. I think many parents feel like potty training is just one more milestone they want their kid to master and the sooner the better. And while it's nice to have behind you, you can really make life miserable for you and your child if you try to push it before he's ready. Boys are usually closer to three before their bodies accurately and consistently able to give the proper signals for going to the bathroom.

Just have a potty seat or chair available for him to use if/when he wants. Ask if he'd like to sit on the potty when he changes clothes in the morning and evening, but if he says no, just say okay and drop it. Read potty books. Let him watch you and talk matter of factly about the process, but don't push him. We tried potty training our oldest son at 2 1/2 and after a day and a half, he was miserable and told me so. So we stopped our hourly trips to the potty and left it alone. Two months before his third birthday, he was ready. It still took him another month to poop in the toilet, but I didn't push him on that either. Now our second son is 2 1/2, and we talk about the potty, and he sits on it several times a week when he wants, but even though he's a little interested, he's not ready, and we're not even thinking about "training" him before he's three. It takes the pressure off of both of us. Just wait for a while and it won't be such a hassle--nor will you need anyone else's help with it because it will be so easy when your son is ready on his own. Good luck!

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P.A.

answers from Louisville on

I'm a single mom myself. My son was nearly four by the time he decided he wanted to be potty trained. It was not for lack of trying. My advice to you is to first if you haven't already switch to some type of pull up. You want him to be able to easly pull the diaper down. Traditional diapers are more cumbersom. Next, be calm!!! If you are stressing out about it then he probably is too. For the first 2 1/2 years of his life he has not had to determine when he needs to go, just goes. Most likely he can sense your frustration and gets a little scared by that. Make sure he has a potty that is accessible to him the big potty is scary for a lot of kids. Finally, reward your son with HUGS and KISSES and lots of LOVE when he does use the potty or sit on it, or even just lets you know that he has soiled his diaper. If he is telling you that he's not dirty when he is, he may be scared that you are going to get frustrated at him for soiling his diaper. Stay calm it will happen, just not always on our timelines. Wish you the best!

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