Toys in Toddlers Room?

We never had a problem with it until this year (6 & a half).

This year my son started sneaking out of bed after being tucked in to play with his toys. VERY quietly. He would also put them back very quietly. Unfortunately for him, he would invariably either a) need to pee, or b) feel scared going to bed without being tucked in again. So he was caught out.

Now I will read or work on the computer before bed. Sometimes even watch a movie. I also HATE going to bed alone (have of course, done it for years, but it's not something I enjoy. Most adults, in fact, "do something" as they're getting ready to fall asleep, whether it's reading, working, talking to a spouse, "extracurricular activities", music....something that helps them wind down.

I know a lot of parents think that children should be trained to fall asleep in a very spartan way, without the comforts they give themselves. I don't. Sure, his bath and storytime and being tucked in used to suffice. Obviously, for my son, he's reached a little bit more independent stage. Something in him is telling him that it's time to start learning how to soothe himself...the same way that we do as adults.

Granted it took me about a week of "GO. BACK. TO. BED"isms before I really thought about it. Okay, he's ready to be learning more independent behavior. That's fair. Now how do we help facilitate that?

What we did was to move his "bedtime" back half an hour. So now, he's ready for bed & had story/snuggle time by 830...but he doesn't have to be "in bed" until 9 still. He can read in bed if he likes, he can also build, or work on an experiment, or play with any of his quiet toys for up to a half an hour in peace and private. At 9 I go upstairs and either kiss him goodnight or I rearrange kaddywhampus sleeping limbs into a more comfortable looking position and THEN kiss him goodnight. That's because about once a week he just reads a few pages and shuts off his light and falls asleep.

Can you do that with a toddler? I know a few people who have, but it was because their children were ready for it...mine wasn't until this year. I know other toddlers who won't stay in bed even if their lives depended on it...and we kept ours in his crib until he was 3 (and not only wasn't he a climber, he was one of those super active kids that usually fell asleep .03 seconds after laying him down), so I can't really speak to that. Even in his crib he always had a few toys to play with if he liked, and his blankie to snuggle with.

I've had to sleep in a cell from time to time (either on a ship, or traveling -monastery-, or while in the military, essentially here or there), and I have to tell you I hated it at worst, and was merely uncomfortable/distracted by the lack of familiar comforts. The point of which, being, that like most people I judge others by myself...and only after something turns out to be false, do I make the change. So I set my son up with what *I* would like. If that turns out not to work for him, or if he likes something different...I change it. No harm, no foul.

My suspicion is that new toys are YES going to be a distraction at first. And then the distraction will wear off as the "new" turns into the regular and forgettable. Then again, she MAY not even notice overmuch...if she's as sleepy as my son was at that age. I suppose the question is do you want to teach her to ignore distractions when she needs to sleep...or do you want to create a distraction free environment so that you don't have to teach it? Personally when given the choice of a couple of weeks v. years I tend to go for the couple of weeks. But obviously, that doesn't work for everyone.

Best of luck

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She will have to learn to deal with distractions. That is a fact. The earlier the easier the later distractions will be to handle.

If you choose to put toys into her room, her room with become more of "her space" than just a sleeping space. If you find the toys distracting, put her back in bed, do it as many times as needed. Stay calm and firm. Add other toys slowly.

I think it is a good idea to do so. My kids always had their own toys in their rooms. Even my son who was a late to sleep kid had toys. I told him that he had to go to bed at 8 when he was in 2nd grade even if he couldn't sleep until midnight. I told him he could do anything he wanted as long as he was horizontal in his bed. He could red or imagine. He taught himself to read and developed a great Star Wars imagination. Great kid.

What happens if you have a second child. Each child has to have their own toys and a place to "safely protect" them. What better place them than in their own room?

1 mom found this helpful

The first thing I thought of when I read this is that you guys must be blessed with a large house with a seperate room for your toddler to sleep and a seperate room for her toys:) Are house is just a two bedroom smallish house. Since we don't want toys strung all over the house all the time her toys have always been in her room. The only time we have had any trouble is lately during naps. But now that she is 4 we are just stressing more of quiet time. I think that toddlers are still tired enough for naps that it shouldn't be a problem.
I would suggest if you are wanting to move toys in her room, do it now so she can get used to them being in there before she gets older and harder to put down for naps. Good luck!

Hi N.,

I think the answer to your question are a few other questions:Mainly, what are you and your husband comfortable with? What's your parenting style like? Where does your daughter play during the day? and How comfortable are you in sharing space outside the bedroom with toys?

For us, our 2 year old son's toys are largely in the living room. This is for several reasons: I provide childcare a couple afternoons a week; his room is across the house and I can't supervise him without being in his bedroom; most importantly, I really don't like hanging out in kids bedrooms during the day. As a nanny, I did lots of it. So, for us, having the living room space as a common play area works well.

The sleep question is not really an issue with us. He cosleeps at night with us (our bedroom is on a separate floor and it's still working for us all) and naps in his room during the day. I do stay with him at naptimes until he's asleep, and he just comes out when his nap is finished; he does have toys in there, but is rarely interested in playing in there alone.

So, that said, I think it's really up to what you and your family will think works. I'd also say that kids who have toys in their room can be encouraged to play in there, esp. if you are trying to get a little sleep early in the morning. If you have a safe way of keeping the child in their room (like a gate), some kids love to just get up and play before engaging with parents.

I hope this gives you some ideas. Like all things parenting, there's never any perfect way to do it--there's only what works well for each of us!:)

Toys in the toddler's room may or may not distract from sleep. It depends partly on how you have trained her and partly on her personality. My daughter knows not to get out of bed for anything until her nap is done--and often she will stay in bed until I come for her. I usually let her take a dolly or two or a stuffed animal to bed, and I have noticed her tucking it in a few minutes after I left her, but she usually doesn't play with it. If she does, I take it away and she has to sleep without it.

So I would say try it and see. You can always take them out again if it doesn't work, but if she behaves, it will get them out of wherever they are now. :)

My son always had toys in his room and it never caused a problem. It actuall helped to keep him busy in his room and looking for something to do in rooms he should not be in looking for something to do or get into. He had control over which toys to bring down stairs which he wanted to play with and sort of empowered him, or so he though haha. He was a really good sleeper and when he was ready to go to sleep he did. Good luck and adjust according to your little one since they are all different in their own little ways. Have a happy Easter and Mom's Day!!!!

won't hurt some kids only have one room so their bedroom is also their playroom
have fun
Paula

We recently moved our 21 month into her own room as well and have decided not to put toys in there at this time. She hasn't tried to open her closet door yet even, but while we're still getting her used to her room, we want it to be a single use room as much as possible. We do play in there with her a little bit most afternoons, but not with toys. I think as she gets a little older and needs her own space to play away from her siblings, we'll add some toys in, but that probably won't be until she's closer to 2.5 or 3.

N. - My boys have always had toys in their room, better there than in my living room! (although my living room is full of toys too....)
The toys may distract her in the very beginning, but that's just up to you to let her know when it is appropriate to play with the toys. She'll be fine. I think it's cute when I go in to check on my son (the 3 year old) before I go to bed and see that he has his action figures, cars and pirates in his bed. That just means he was quietly playing before he went to sleep.
Besides, with toys in their room they have their OWN space to play and create and have fun!
L.

N.,

My kids have always had toys in thier rooms and we have never had any problems!---However to clarify both my boys stopped napping at 2, my MIL has informed me that my hubby stopped napping at 2 as well, so I blame him :) All my kids have been great night time sleepers so we haven't had any problems there, there are times of course when they want to get out of bed and play with some of them but we just nip it in the bud and all is well. I think the fact that they have thier own space with thier own things is more important than whether or not we have to go in and tell them to get back in bed.

---On a side note---
Professional Aunt to 10 nephews...you go girl! I have always felt that being an Auntie is AMAZING!!! I have such a strong and close relationship with my nephews, I love it! There is something so very special about being an Auntie! Enjoy it, and enjoy them...isn't it great when you realize how lucky your daughter is to have all those boys to grow up around?

Here's to being Auntie!

K.

i have a two year old also whos been in a big girl bed for a while but we cant put her kitchen table and chairs in there because she does play with them rather than lay down adn go to sleep

It was never problem at our house. There was a table and chairs where they sat and played, read books. Later my daughter had her Playmobile doll house in the room. The kids knew when it was time to sleep/nap. The only problem that I ever had was sending someone to their room as a punishment or timeout. It's difficult to have a timeout with all that they had. It was like sending them to their favorite place.

Enjoy all the moments!!!

I did this with my son when we needed to make more room and he was fine with it. It never really distracted him at bedtime I think because it was dark, but nap time some times was harder, but he knew that he could play with them when he woke up. I just checked on him a few times to make sure he wasn't playing :)

I think at first it might be a problem if she isn't used to being in a room with her toys...but if she has been sleeping around them, it probably won't be a problem. But she'll get used to them being there and it won't distract her anymore. My kids have all always had toys in their rooms while they were in their cribs, so they were always used to them being there and sleeping with them close by, so it was never a problem. Good luck!

Being happy is NEVER sick -- it's the way it SHOULD be-- and I'm old enough to prove it!!!!! -

N.- at 2 - your lamb doesnt really HAVE to have toys in her room-- but heres' how my almost 10 year old has used toys in his room:

when he's sent to his room to nap - or to sleep -- sometimes he'll get up and do the most amazing dramatic playing with his things--- pretending to set up a 'house' or pretending to set up a ''pet store'' or a ''fruit stand'' -- he uses his toys to process things he is clearly trying to calm down about or thing through- he'll do the same kind of things if he's in trouble----- I think it's a PERFECT way for him to process things --- just my opinion- :-)))

Continue to love life- if you do --she will - -

:-) J. -- aka - -old Mom

I personally have always thought that toys do not belong in the bedroom. However, I know for some its a matter of space. If you do put toys in the bedroom make sure you start ritual of putting all the toys to sleep before bed. That way she will understand that they are not for playing with after lights out. GOod Luck

It took us a few nights within the first couple weeks to get my daughter to stay in bed without getting up to play.We let her take a couple of her favorite stuffed animals to bed ith her and that seemed to help.She got to pick which ones each night of course.Then she would lay in bed talking to her babies till she fell asleep....sometimes it would be within 5 minutes, sometimes 20 but she would go to bed all the same and wasn't getting out of bed to play.

I have always had toys in my son's room. One of the things I liked about having toys in his room, is in the mornings he would get up and start playing and I would get a little more sleep! LOL It's great for them to have thier own place to play also. I have to admit that we never had any problems playing when he should of been sleeping.