101 answers

Toy Question

This may seem a strange question...but is a play kitchen too girly for a little boy? My son loves to help me in the kitchen, so I thought that getting him his own toddler sized version would help keep him out of my oven and save my sanity...but my father doesn't think its a good idea. I have never been one to gender-stereotype....but maybe he's right? Does it anyone have any opnions on this? I'm very torn on this issue.

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So What Happened?™

Thanks everyone!!! You all made me feel like it doesn't matter what society thinks/feels, I will raise my son the way that I want to (within good reason). I honestly think that the only reason that my father feels so strongly about this issue, is because I have a homosexual older brother. But I really don't think that a person's sexuality should matter....the only one allowed to judge is God. Sorry, I had to jump on my soapbox for second. Thanks again everyone for your input! My husband and I decided to go ahead and get him the kitchen, afterall...he had no problems with it in the first place. Thanks for re-assuring me that my fears were self-imposed.

Just a quick after Christmas update......We got Landon the kitchen and he loves it! He plays with it more than his Elmo tool bench, which was very popular for quite a long time. He also got a train set and lots of airplanes and other "boy" toys. Just the other day my father came over for dinner and my son was in his kitchen cooking while I was, except he managed to get his appetizer out before I did. He made sure that everone got a plate, even our two dogs.....it was too cute. My father felt compelled to tell me that "perhaps" he was wrong being so aprehensive about getting Landon a kitchen when he saw that Landon loves his airplanes, cars and trains just as much as before. Who would've thought.....me teaching my father something???? Thanks to all of you for your advice, you have no idea how much help your opinions were. Good luck to all in the coming year.

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Think Emeril, Wolfgang Puck, James Beard and a few thousand other chefs around the world. Maybe it's a passing fancy, maybe it's a lifetime passion. Don't squash it. Go with the flow. Next year it will probably be baseball and you'll be stuck with a play kitchen but at least you won't be left wondering "what if".

Grandma D.

All the top chefs of the world are men. Just watch food network or bravo and you will see there are so many celebrity chef's these days.

I have a daughter who is 6 and we had bought her a toy kitchen which she rarely used. When my son came along (2 years old now) he used it more than she did. My father-in-law is a chef as well as my brother. I have nothing against boys and cooking. Look at all the famous male chefs out there. I do not consider cooking to be a exclusively a female activity. I am hoping my son is a good cook so he can help me with dinners ;-)

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This is so interesting, I was just watching a DVD my mother gave me called "Free To Be You and Me" by Marlo Thomas, its from the early 70's but it is interesting how relevant it is for todays children. I want to suggest you look for it.
There is an animated short called "William Wants A Doll", its all about a little boy name william who wants a doll and how his father discouraged him from this, his brother and friends teased him and his parents bought him all these other toys (basket ball, a toy plane) to try and distract him from his wanting to have this doll. One day his grandmother comes over and brings him a doll, his father is upset but she explains to him that when william grows up he wants to be a daddy and the doll will give him the chance to practice burping, changing and holding a baby. It actually got my husband to think twice about some of the things he tells our sons about playing with toys society has deemed "for girls". I commend you for wanting to buy him a kitchen. It will keep him out of yours and will get him interested in cooking for himself. I don't know anyone that would love a man who can cook!
I am sure Emeril, Mario Batali and Bobby Flay would all be proud of you too! Happy Holidays!

A.,

Have you ever watched the food network? It's not all women. Let the little man cook, it will teach him that he can cook for himself and that he has to clean what he messes up and he can look up to his mommy for teaching him those things...I say DEFINITELY!!!

A.,
I don't think there is anything wrong with it. We actually bought one for my son's 3rd birthday and he simply loves it. My husband is the one that cooks dinner every night so my son can cook righ along with him. We are in a totally different age where families have different roles than they used too. Plus, just remind your father that there is good money in becoming a head chef. ;)

I dont think there is nothing wrong with boys playing with a kitchen set. I think you should consider the child happiness rather than stereotypes. My son played with one when he was little ( he is 8 now) and still loves to help me in the kitchen now. If you get the kitchen set that has the grill on the opposite side maybe it would help to ease your mind.

(Belatedly entering the discussion) I think it's fantastic that everyone agrees on this.

Pretend play is so crucial to development, and so personal, it would be a pity to impose somebody's rules about boy-girl roles on it. Developmentally, the more open-ended a toy is, the more uses it gets and the longer a child plays with it and the better the cognitive development it promotes. Pretending is an essential precursor for healthy self-talk of the kind that we use to control our behavior, inhibit inappropriate reactions, plan our day, remind ourselves of appointments, work through disappointments and dilemmas, etc. etc. It would be preferable to make a cardboard-box stove together rather than buying a pre-fab toy at the store. Money can't match the texture and quality of those personal interactions.

I do want to mention however, that my jaw dropped to see how many respondents warned you away from pink stoves. Whether you decide to buy or make a toy kitchen set, perhaps you could (cost permitting) respect your child's color preference rather than imposing society's current color-coding. That color-coding is arbitrary. Less than a century ago, pink was considered the quintessential masculine color, just a variation on red. I think it would be very harmful to force a pink stove or clothing or room on a boy who already believes that pink is feminine. That would be like saying "I disagree with your personal belief about who you are, or I'm unhappy that you're a boy" or any number of other mean things. But if your miniature man loves pink, then it would be just as mean to deny him his passion. That would be saying, "there's part of you that I cannot accept." You can paint cardboard pink together.

Whatever you do, good luck child-raising. The hardest and most important job in the world. . .

My 7 year old daughter responds best when daddy says when her baby brother (almost 2) is playing "house" cooking or playing with one of her dolls. He has to practice so he be a good daddy like you!

Don't worry whether he is a boy or a girl. If he likes the kitchen I personally would do that if I had a boy who liked the kitchen. I always heard that you need promote what they like. For example: Maybe he likes it in the kitchen and he is going to be a chef. The best chefs in the world are men and who knows, he may open up a restaurant and that may lead to another one and another one and finally a chain. He could make millions and millions of dollars doing that. If he likes it, I wouldn't worry about if he was a boy or a girl but I would put the kitchen in your kitchen so he can do his thing while you are doing yours.

I think I'm responding late but my 3 and 6 yr old boys, who love superheroes and Star Wars and are as masculine as they come, love to play with our neighbor's toy kitchen. The only reason I have not bought one is that there is no more space in my house! Also remember to tell your father that (unfortunately?!) most of the world's best-known chefs are men!! He should turn on Iron Chef or any of the other cooking competition shows if he doesn't believe you!

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