Toy Guns-Ugh

First if you think that only boys can be aggressive, then you need to get a different perspective. I don't think guns are bad or that they cause Aggression. I believe in properly educating everyone on the proper usage of firearms. I have 4 boys and believe me, they didn't know what guns were for awhile, and they are plenty aggressive, but no more than my sister and I were. My sons have learned what real guns can do and they respect them.

They don't always play Cops and Robbers or Cowboys and Indians. More like Autobots and decepticons. They have a lot of energy, but they still know the boundaries.

But if you are going to go around with the attitude that the GUN is the problem, just throw it away and duck you head in the sand.

I am with hubby on this one. We played cowboys and Indians, cops and robbers, good guy bad guy. My sons have had every single Nerf gun ever made, every sword, star war swords, bow-n-arrows, lazer tag guns,cowboy rifles.....you name it we got it. Now my 21 year old son played lazer tag and had every thing you can imagine. He is also the sweetest man, he is a photographer. None of these things ever really influenced him, only had lots of fun with them. I even bought him and his roommates Nerf guns last xmas. He called and told me they had so much fun running around their apartment. My other son is 11 and has a blast playing with his friends with all this stuff.

I'd give it to him.
He's a boy they gravitate to firearms.
If he doesn't have a toy gun he'll start making them out of legos, tinker toys, lincoln logs , and just plain old sticks.
you are fighting a loosing battle.

When our boys were born, we too we in the NO GUNS camp! No toy guns, no shows that showed guns....don't use your finger as a gun! (They did that a lot also).
and then they went to pre-school and got great exposure to guns AND shooting AND blowing things up ... by all the other boys in class.
At that point, it was hopeless to continue to try to fight it.

The more we wanted to ban toy guns, the more they wanted them. We were in an uphill battle. One Christmas my sons all got Nerf guns from my BIL and had fun playing with their cousins. All the boys were given Nerf guns that year by Uncle Mike. oh, yay! But they ran around the backyard, and had a blast.
So we switched to education about guns instead of banning them!

Another tool for educating your son about guns is thru Cub Scouts. In about 4th or 5th grade, Dads and sons can go to gun safety classes held on Saturdays and learn a lot about safety, handling, shooting, toys vs. firearms.....it is a very educational program that the Scouts offer.

Consider this: You NEVER let your son play with guns. One day, he is at a friend's house, and his friend says "Hey, come look at this!", leads him into his Daddy's closet, and shows him his Daddy's gun that he found while snooping around. Considering that curiosity isn't selective among children- they are ALL curious little creatures- if your son has NEVER had the opportunity to hold and experiment with a toy gun, what are the chances that he just won't be able to resist the urge to hold a real one? Is it far-fetched? Sure. But kids have died. It's not so far-fetched that those kids' parents didn't have to bury their children.

Am I saying that not allowing your son to play with a gun will lead to his demise? Certainly not. That's a stretch. However, I don't understand the sentiment of not allowing little boys or girls to play with toy guns. What are you trying to prevent?

My daughters both have toy nerf guns, and we have a blast with them. My 3-year-old daughter's favorite toy is a gun that makes laser lights/sounds. They like to 'shoot' me with it and I will play dead. They know it's all in fun, and in a world that's so full of scary things, let them have fun. They're just kids.

Teach him respect for guns, and all weapons, and let him have the toy. It's very important for boys to have connections with their Dads. This seems to be something your husband feels very strongly about, so don't take this "bonding" opportunity away from them.

Boys are going to turn ordinary objects into guns whether you like it or not. think your vacuum utensils or a piece of wood outside are safe? No way mama. Playing with toy guns do not harm children nor do they turn boys into killers. It's more about using their imagination. Let your husband have his fun playing cowboys and Indians.

My son used to play shoot em up games a lot, and although he never had a toy gun, he seemed to either use his fingers, or build something like it out of Legos.
When he turned 6 his Dad (my husbands an NRA certified pistol safety instructor) took him to the range and drilled him on gun safety and taught him how to shoot the 22. He's a pretty good shot (he's 12 now) - mostly hits the center of the target. (None of us hunt - we just target practice.)
The thing is, once he knew what a real gun could do and all the safely procedures (and we lock up everything at home in combination gun safes) - he stopped playing shoot em up. He just doesn't do it anymore. And he's no longer curious about it. He still doesn't have any toy guns.

I'm not a fan of them, but I've learned that boys will turn anything (fingers, pencils, etc) into a play gun or sword - so basically it's been a losing battle. While I will let them sword fight with each other, they are very well aware that I am not okay with pretend shooting each other or pointing a toy gun at any person/animal. Instead they run around the house with the toy guns and shoot ghosts or monsters or imaginary beings as a team sport.

We gave up on this with our 6 yo awhile back. It seemed pointless after I had to start telling him things like "don't shoot your little brother with your sandwich, dear."

Now, we just make sure the guns don't look real and tell him not to "shoot" at anybody. I also talk to about actual gun safety (pretty much what Denise P. said).

My preference would be for NO toys like this, but for us, that seemed to backfire. After we allowed some toy guns, he stopped playing with them after the novelty wore off, though a number of his Lego minifigures do shoot at each other.

So, I suggest you assess your son's personality (as well as your husband's) and your own & then figure out the best approach for the 3 of you.

GOOD LUCK!

my son has played with nerf guns for years and loved them. I always listen to what he is saying and he's NEVER talked about shooting someone in a violent way or hurting them. It's a form of "tag" to him. Imaginary play such as cowboys and indians or cops and robbers can be great fun - just make sure parenting is involved and you should be fine.

I have one son who is almost eight. We have never allowed guns in our house. My son knows that is the rule and he know he will never be allowed to have a toy gun. Once a friend gave him a toy gun. He immediately gave it to me saying, "i know that I am not allowed to plays with guns". I was so proud of him!!

This is a controversial topic! I watched all my friends play cops and robbers growing up. I understand that the violence that has prevailed in our society lately due to guns, raises concern. I agree with previous posts that children will make a gun out of anything. I guess the best you can do is educate your kids about the dangers of real guns. You worry about guns, and I need to worry about swords! LOL my daughter discovered swords and wants to fight like a "warrior." Go figure!

Well it's really up to you on how far you want to take it. You can hide it away forever claiming it MUST have fallen into the garbage and oh, no!!!

Or, you can let him play with it on occasion (you keep it in a safe hidden location) - he can play with it, perhaps, with daddy in games of cowboys and indians only. Believe me - that won't last long since your hubby won't bw wanting to play C&I too often.

I would suggest that you hide it when he has friends come over to play. :) Most moms (as you know) are not too keen on toy guns. And you don't want to be "that mom" when you didn't want to be her in the first place!!

Good luck!

I disagree :)

Make sure he understands that it is a toy, but also teach him show repsect for what it represnts. He should never point it at people (exception being a role playing game with that person's consent) and should always put it away when he is done with it - make a special "gun safe" where he has to keep it.

The NRA has some info on gun safety which talks about using toy guns...
http://www.nrahq.org/safety/eddie/infoparents.asp

Good luck...

I just have to say i disagree with most of the posts. I have a two year old we also live with my niece and nephew my nephew is seven and thats an ok age to play with one "i guess" I hate them DESPISE them infact. My two year old touches my nephews and he gets in trouble i don't want my son thinking for one that "guns" are cool "toys or not" Because at ten a friend might show him a "real" gun and if he thinks it's cool he might want to play with it but if he knows momy is scared of them and they will hurt you "teaching him the lesson with toys" he might be scared enough to tell someone about a real gun. You see things like that on the news and read it in papers and kids accidentally killing other kids or themselves because they think guns are COOL and are comfortable with them because they have the toys..... it all starts with the toys!

The first thing that I thought of after reading your post is how much I hate to wrestle...random...but I HATE it. I love to read, build, go on a walk with my kids. My 4 and 2 love love love to wrestle, esp. with Dad. It's their special thing that they do all the time. So. Maybe the gun and playing cowboys and indians can be a special dad/son thing.

I would be more peeved about my husband's disregard of my concerns than the actual toy gun...you've got to make sure you're both on the same page, and a compromise (like the gun only comes out while playing with dad) would be a good way for you both to express what is important to you in relation to the gun...

That is what I would do on a perfect day....we don't have toy guns by the way...and if anyone aside from my husband bought one for my kids, I would be upset...but it's your husband who bought it and he is your son's parent too....so it's a tricker situation...Good Luck

I think as long as he understands that it is a TOY and not the real thing. I don't like toy guns that look like the real thing, but if it's obviously a toy I would let him have it. I got my first REAL gun (just a bb gun) when I was 6 years old, and was THOROUGHLY taught how dangerous they can be. (Hunter's education, my Dad taught us, even took us to the local police department so they could give us a crash course on safety, and how much trouble you can get in for using them improperly) We were never allowed to even LOOK at the real guns unless closely supervised by my dad, but we had our obviously fake and nerf guns to play with any time... None of my siblings (or I for that matter) have ever been any more aggressive than other kids who were not allowed to play with them...

I guess when I put the fear of God into my kid, I really do it right!

I have always talked to my son about guns (He's now 7--almost 8) and most importantly never to touch a gun. If he finds a gun somewhere (a garage, a neighbor's, the woods, outside) he knows NEVER to touch it and tell an adult right away.

Fast forward--we were at a birthday party Sat night and my son's buddy got a Nerf dart gun and my kid wouldn't even touch that!

Anyway, I'm with you. I don't feel any need to have my child play with a toy version of something so deadly.

I'd let my husband deal with any issues that come up with it. Or tell your son "You can play with that only when dad is home. Mom doesn't like them." Our son does play with toy guns. Since my husband is the 'gun lover' in the family, I let him lead with what's okay/not okay with our son.

This is my comment my son had toy guns all his life and shot into the air and played that he was a soilder, cops and robber, cowboys, you know typical boy stuff the big thing was that I was concerend that he might think that it was ok to shoot someone if he thought they were bad. But needless to say he was just being a kid well he got an air soft gun at 9 and has target practiced and now that he actually gets it that guns were made for specific reasons. He is now 11 and about to turn 12 and is totally excited to start hunting and has asked for a rifle for Chirstmas and is wanting my husband to take him out so that he can get his own deer or elk. Boys have hunted and protected from the dawn of man as mothers have loved and nurtured. I think it is all about what you teach your kids my kids know that guns are deadly and were intended for hunting and for police protection. Its so sad what society has turned guns into but its the world we live in my son who also four just got his first one and they play that they are shooting elk and deer so does my nephew.Talk to your child its our responsibilty as parents to install values that others seem to lack. Good Luck

K., I was very against toy guns in my house when my kids were small. But now that they my boys are 11 & 15 I realize it was all for nothing. They were very where. Nerf guns, Cap guns, etc... were in very house but mine. I let my guard down and realized it is about the lesson I teach the boys not the toy it's self. Take the opportunity to tell your kids why it bothers you and keep telling them. I held out as long as I could - go with your gut! Good luck!

I happen to agree with you 100%. My son is 15 and has somehow managed to grow up just fine without ever having had a toy gun. I hate them, and all they represent. Despite what anyone else says, if you don't want your son playing with it, just remove it from the house. I'm sure there are plenty of other things your hubby and boy can do together to bond that don't involve simulated violence.

I am on the other side of this. My boys are 11, 14, & 19. I don't like guns. Didn't want toy guns. My husband disagreed and bought them. I lost the battle. My husband doesn't see anything wrong. He grew up in Japan. The Japanese boys in Japan play with guns and swords and it's not a big deal like here. Having watched my boys, I have to admit it's genetic with boys. They will make guns out of anything. I think it's a loosing battle. So I teach them why I hate then; the damage they can do. You should hear some of the stories my surgical colleagues tell about going to the ER to operate on kids who have been shot. I think the book Rasing Cain talks about guns and boys. At some point in the book he mentions that if boys have a natural inclination to guns (likely from being the provider, protector in times past) if we keep telling them that guns are bad, they like guns, at some point they will believe they are bad. Not how I want my boys to grow up. It's a balance, not sure how I am doing. I tell my boys not to grow up to be mass murders and prove so-and-so right that I shouldn't have let you play with them. Good luck! A lot of us are in the same boat!

Updated

I am on the other side of this. My boys are 11, 14, & 19. I don't like guns. Didn't want toy guns. My husband disagreed and bought them. I lost the battle. My husband doesn't see anything wrong. He grew up in Japan. The Japanese boys in Japan play with guns and swords and it's not a big deal like here. Having watched my boys, I have to admit it's genetic with boys. They will make guns out of anything. I think it's a loosing battle. So I teach them why I hate then; the damage they can do. You should hear some of the stories my surgical colleagues tell about going to the ER to operate on kids who have been shot. I think the book Rasing Cain talks about guns and boys. At some point in the book he mentions that if boys have a natural inclination to guns (likely from being the provider, protector in times past) if we keep telling them that guns are bad, they like guns, at some point they will believe they are bad. Not how I want my boys to grow up. It's a balance, not sure how I am doing. I tell my boys not to grow up to be mass murders and prove so-and-so right that I shouldn't have let you play with them. Good luck! A lot of us are in the same boat!