55 answers

Touchy Feely Son

Ok my son is 3 and he loves skin. He likes things that feel really soft and smooth. I nursed him for a year so i think that is why he loves skin. When we are singning at church he will try and lift my shirt to feel my stomach, and he loves when my legs are freshly shaven. I don't know what to do. I mean he loves my high thread count sheets so maybe he just loves soft things? But my inlaws think he is weird. Just wondering if anyone has had a child do this? I mean I am a stay at home mom so it is not like he is away from me. I sell Home Interiors so I am only gone about 2 nights a week and I am still home in time to put him to bed. I just hope I haven't done something wrong with him.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

My son is similar. He loves to lift my shirt to feel my belly and give it kisses. He is very touchy feely- has been since day one. I think it is a personality thing, like being shy. You may have to teach him about personal space as he gets older (my good friend is going through that with her 5 year old boy). I think it is a good sign... a sensitive loving little boy!!

Children learn so very much through touch and I believe this to be very normal. He is not weird - he is learning. You are a wonderful mother and I believe the less anyone makes of this, the better off everyone will be.

I have known many kids that love silky things like edges of blankets & hose. It's just what makes him feel good. Don't worry about it.

More Answers

Hi M.,
My son is also three and he does the same thing. I think it is just a comfort habit and I wouldn't worry about it. If I am in the bathroom or bedroom getting dressed he will come up and rub his little palms on my legs. I noticed that he will run his hands along the surface of his blankets at night as he is falling asleep. When he is watching TV he will gather up his blankie in his hand and rub his other hand back and forth on top of the fabric. My oldest daughter (6) rubs her blanket on her cheek when she is tired. My middle child (4) rubs her blankets on her lips as she is falling asleep. I think we all develop different ways of calming and relaxing ourselves and your son is probably just doing the same. Look at it this way, some people develop comfort habits such as sucking their fingers, eating or pulling on their hair, biting their nails, or excessively licking their lips. These habits are much more detrimental than a little skin rubbing every now and then. As far as your in laws thinking he is weird, tell them to mind their own business. Have a great weekend!

1 mom found this helpful

Don't worry! You are a great and loving mommy! I'm sure you are already gently guiding him to only touch appropriately! My son (3 1/2) rubs my face during books, when he is falling asleep, etc. I think a gentle approach is best. Someone suggested "tapping his fingers". I think we too frequently discourage our boys..."don't touch", "don't cry", "don't show emotion"! I think I will choose to keep hugging, kissing, rubbing his back and face! Before long, we'll have to hold them down to do those things! :) Keep doing what you're doing! He is a sweet and sensitive boy! The world needs more of those!! :)

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.! I want to say that I have a son who is 4 and he is the same way. He always has to be touching my husband or I....we always joke that when he gets married he better marry someone that likes and appreciates being cuddled!:) I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to touch...however, I think I would let your son know that some touching is simply inappropriate (lifting your shirt in church)... but, just make sure that when you correct him on something like that, that you show him what is acceptable.. .maybe try holding hands during church(or even a soft blanket he can touch and hold during church). Something to let him know that he can still touch you and get that comfort that he needs, so he knows that he is loved.

I by no means think that you did something wrong with your son...if anything you have shown him how to love on someone and I think touch is very important. In fact you could probably pick up the book about the Five Love Languages in a Family. I'm not sure the exact title but there is a book for couples and then one for the whole family. It may help you understand what he is going through and why touching is so normal and needed in his every day life.

I hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful

Tell your inlaws to get over it. It's typical for breast-fed kids. Have friends and 2 of my own three were/are the same way. It's a comfort thing and it's wonderful that they are so comfortable with it and loving. My daughter stopped around 3.5. My 17 mo loves skin. It can get annoying, but I'd rather have this than the autistic patterns that prevent the child from touching you or wanting to be touched. Enjoy it - won't last forever! :)

i babysit a little one who loves the same thing skin and also chunky areas at first i didnt know what to think but now im pretty sure its nothing to worry about really if you think about it who dosent like soft touchable skin hes also very loveing and i believe it a way of him showing and feeling affection

Hi M.
your son being touchy feely might be that he is used to you
or it might be a phase just tell him he can't be raising
mommy's top. like you said he just likes soft things like
sheets does he like other things like maybe cats fur or a
stuffed toy maybe get him a soft made blanket try this &

I can relate as I have a 14 month old girl who I also nursed for a year. She has been weaned for 2 months now and is very cuddly as well. She often lifts my shirt as well and either rubs my stomach or puts her mouth on it. I have 2 older sons (5 years & 3 years)who I did not nurse as long (8months & 10 months of nursing)and they are not touchy feely. I am a SAHM as well. I do work every other weekend away from home. I don't think you have done something wrong. I think you have established a very strong bond with your son! I do try to discourage my daughter by saying no as I would not want her to do it in public, but she is just a baby still. I am not sure what to do about a 3 year old. Good luck!

Children learn so very much through touch and I believe this to be very normal. He is not weird - he is learning. You are a wonderful mother and I believe the less anyone makes of this, the better off everyone will be.

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