Tooth Fairy Question

Updated on September 21, 2008
P.B. asks from Houston, TX
57 answers

My youngest soon lost his first tooth 2 weeks ago and the Tooth Fairy left him a Susan B. Anthony dollar under his pillow. He was very excited to show everyone that he finally lost a tooth(most of his friends have already lost multiple teeth) and the money he received. When he told my mother in law, she gave him 5 1 dollar bills and she supposedly made a comment about the Tooth Fairy needing to be replaced. I am wondering if your family believes in the the Tooth Fairy how much she leaves for your son or daughter's tooth? Also, any suggestions on a polite way of letting Grandma know Tooth Fairy is not in her job description? Thanks for your help.

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G.B.

answers from Houston on

Hunny you need to talk to her fast. The next thing you know she is doing that at christmas. Whatever you decide to give him should be fine.

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S.T.

answers from San Antonio on

Wow, well I gave my son a little party-favor sized/priced toy. He immediately lost it, but was happy and entertained. I'm glad it wasn't a large investment. If grandma wants to get him a piggy bank or start up an Education IRA, more power to her. Point her to vanguard.com

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J.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I'm the mother of 3 grown kids and grandma of 2 little ones.... When my kids started losing teeth, my hubby and I were on a very limited income... There wasn't always a spare dollar around. So I always kept a small stash of inexpensive goodies, stickers, hot wheels cars, cute hair clips, giant candy bars, and coupons for mcdonalds. When a tooth was lost, the toothfairy would leave a treat instead of money... You can't buy much with a dollar ... and that way instead of them hounding me for more money for the toy they wanted, they had an instant prize that they could enjoy right away...

Have your husband ask his mother to either help fund the goodie stash or at least not give more than the toothfairy, she can match the payment from the toothfairy but not more...

The toothfairy is a PARENT THING... and you should be able to enjoy it without anyone meddling.

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P.H.

answers from Austin on

My son gets a quarter or two per tooth and is thrilled about it. I don't care if I'm a cheap fairy, it's all about the mystery, not really the money for us.
Just tell your son that Grandmas like to give you money at special times and let him keep whatever she gives with good manners. Not worth fighting over.

P. (mom of three boys)

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M.P.

answers from Corpus Christi on

My mother did the same thing! We stick to the $1 though and did not give him any more in the future. I really think my mom felt bad because he was standing next to her and she raised her arm and accidentally knocked his tooth out (it was hanging by a thread). He was so excited and I just told him it was because the tooth fairy felt bad for what Nana did in a joking manner but I also told him not to expect it again. We do not live around my family though so I don't know how to let Grandma know. I'm not usually full of tact when I do that to my mother - just tell her to butt out. Grandma is more than welcome to give money for teeth but not during tooth fairy time to me - that is a parent thing.

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

Yes, the tooth fairy still exists, and a dollar is a good price. I can't imagine what she meant by "the tooth fairy needs to be replaced". Why don't you ask her what she meant? I see nothing wrong with her rewarding your son for being so brave at losing a tooth as long as she understands that the tooth fairy is alive and well and only leaves money under the pillow when she takes the tooth. Any other monies are to be considered gifts or rewards so as not to confuse the child. After all, he does have friends to discuss things with and if the tooth fairy visits his friends, she should certainly visit him too, but not with $5.00. One dollar is plenty. I'm a mother of four and a great-grandmother. I hope you saved the tooth in a safe place. You'll treasure it one day.

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T.S.

answers from Austin on

We belive!
The tooth fairy is awesome - its a way of getting that little tooth away from them : )
We pay a dollar. And thats it..
MIL - needs some boundaries - this is just the beginning and you need to tell your HUSBAND that he needs to set them, not you.
Good luck!
T.

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J.M.

answers from Killeen on

mommy please understand the intensity that some grandmothers love their grandchildren. I am a mother and a grandmother and I can tell you I love those grandchildren to distraction.
Now having said that it is not up to grandmothers to "replace" the tooth fairy. That is a grand and fun job for parents, not grandparents. Yes we observed the tooth fairy when my children were loosing teeth and it is a fun and memorable time of raising children. It is however for parents, we had our turn and you should have yours.

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N.W.

answers from Odessa on

The tooth fairy at our house leaves four quarters.

As far as Grandma goes, does she often usurp your authority? If not, I'd let it go and let your son enjoy the extra money, however if you feel like the issue is deeper than her wanting to be generous, than try to tell her it bothers. Politely of course, she may just being a grandma.

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K.H.

answers from Killeen on

Yes P., there is a Tooth Fairy.
At my house the tooth fairy leaves a Sacajawea for my daughter, and a gold presidents dollar coin for my son.
The tradition will happen as long as they loose teeth and i will never admit to being involved...unless they ask directly, then I can't lie. But I think they really don't want to know.
There was one spell when my daughter was refusing to brush her teeth...it was like pulling teeth..LOL haha. Anyway the tooth fairy left her a new toothbrush, floss, and toothpaste. And a cute little note about how she knows if she is brushing or not by how the newly fallen tooth looks. So she now brushes better and when she loses one she brushes it before putting it in her special tooth cup.
She puts it in a special cup next to her bed and the tooth fairy puts her coin in the cup.
What was really cute was when my son lost his first tooth she ran to her room and brought him the cup and said he could borrow it because it works really well.
As far as your mother in law goes, she should NEVER undermine you in front of your kids no matter what. it does not matter what the circumstance is, you should never allow anyone to undermine your parenting choices in front of your kids. It only tells your kids what they will assume when they are 14..."you don't know what you are doing"
I had to make this very clear to my mother in law and I did it with love in my heart ..love for my kids and for my husband. I did not want any strife but she did need to know that if she had any concerns or problems or questions or even comments she can tell us in private. So far she has behaved ...she would rather bite her tongue than not see her grand-kids...
Good luck...and keep the coins coming...don't let the magic die because of a careless comment.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

No, my family doesn't do tooth fairy or santa with my kids (they aren't allowed, we don't agree with playing these 'games' with our children.) But I do not think the tooth fairy underpaid and I think you should thank MIL for the money but that he still has lots of teeth to loose so you're trying to stay 'small.'

Mom to 4 girls ages 1-5 (5 YO lost two teeth recently.)

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E.G.

answers from Killeen on

You did the correct thing. The tooth fairy is a special thing between mother/father and child at home. It is not about how money, its a little tradition that has lived for many years. Tell mother-in-law it is not about money, but about something that makes losing a tooth special. It has always been a shiny coin not dollar bills. She needs to stay out of the fairy business because she is retired and the job is now yours.

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

P.,

One dollar is plenty ~ I do not understand this need to indulge our children in such an "easy gain with nothing ventured" mentality and the "use your children to show you can keep up with the Jones's" bs! Sorry! He's a little boy. When we were younger a quarter or two was good enough ~ and we were just excited to recieve anything ~ It was really more about the magic of the toothfairy rather than the money.
You did great, try not to listen to or care so much about other people's opinions when it comes to raising YOUR children.
As far as your mother-in-law is concerned, you need to address this with her, because that was just rude! I'm sure she's a nice person, but she does need to know her place in the grandma roll.
Good luck toothfairy ~ your job is getting tougher and tougher!
Deborah

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E.K.

answers from Killeen on

Sounds like typical Mother-Law b.s. Sorry to hear that she isn't a mature enough adult to allow you to raise your children how you see fit. Tooth fairy stuff???????????? Dunno much about it. I know that when my son looses his teeth I don't intend on doing that, but it is your right as a mother to do what ever you see as fit for your children (within reason, of course). Not the grandmother's.
As for advice on how to deal with the grandmother, my suggestion is don't. If you don't put any energy into it you take power away from her and show who the real adult is. As for countering the affect she may have had on your child, explain that the tooth fairy that visited that night saw that a Susan B Anthony quarter was the perfect thing to leave, not because of how much it's value held, but because of how rare and special it is. So she left it to him because she saw how rare and special he is.

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

Our tooth fairy leaves small toys and special toothpaste and stuff like that rather than cash. It does take some planning ahead, but it makes the money issue less of a problem.

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S.M.

answers from Austin on

I also leave only a dollar for a tooth but even less if that tooth was not taken care of well. I tell my kids that the tooth fairy only wants nice clean teeth that have been well cared for. It sure gets them brushing more.

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J.M.

answers from Austin on

I think your mother-in-law needs to mind her own business. If she wants to give him $$$ that is her business but to say anything about what you gave your own son is ridiculous and out of line for her to be doing. My suggestion is to let her know nicely that you sure do appreciate her giving $$ to her grandchild but that you are trying to teach your child to appreciate $$ and not take it for granted and maybe if that is all you can afford to give him then she should respect that. Good luck from someone who knows about nosy in-laws!!

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A.K.

answers from Austin on

Our girls are 10 and 7. They are still visited by the tooth fairy. They know the truth, but it is still fun for them to wake up in the morning and find that the tooth fairy remembered. They started out getting $1, but now they are older, they get $2. Grandma lives with us, but does not interfere with what we do with our children

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S.W.

answers from Austin on

Thanks for reminding me!! I almost forgot to put the money under his pillow. Mine is 6 years old and he got $1 for the first two. He is getting $2 this time because he pulled it out himself when it got real "wiggley". I would approach the Mother in Law situation gently, but I would definately let her know that the tooth fairy doen't need replacing and that you and your husband are handling it just fine. Let her know that she is welcome to also give him money, just make it from grandma, not the tooth fairy.

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L.B.

answers from Killeen on

Dear P. B,
I had to laugh when I read your post, not because I wasn't sympathetic for you, but because my mother AND mother-in-law would say something JUST like that! My daughter is only 14 months, so we have a while to go before the tooth fairy days, but I think it is wonderful for kids to experience fun things like that! There is no harm in it that I see. There will come a time when every child no longer believes (and it seems to be sooner and sooner lately), so enjoy the thrill of the tooth fairy while you can! :)

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

I give a dollar. Tooth Fairy is just a fun story for my kids, but they know it's not real. My family usually gives money too when they are told she lost a tooth. I wouldn't worry about Grandma giving money; but, I didn't like her comment and would confront her about that. It's not right to belittle you just because you don't or can't give what she thinks is an appropriate amount. It's a time of celebration, not competition. On the other hand, it might have been a bad joke. I could definitely see my brothers saying something like that, but not really meaning it.

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R.A.

answers from Odessa on

When my kids started losing their teeth, I went to the bank and bought silver dollars and kept a 'stash' of them. They loved knowing they were getting a silver dollar, and a Susan B Anthony is the same thing... a special coin. Did grandma do the same with your first child? If not, I would just sit down with her, very calmly and nicely, remind her that you are the tooth fairy, this is a parent's special right. I have no hard feelings if she wants to give kids money, but the tooth fairy is mom/dad's job. Good luck and enjoy being the tooth fairy... it's one of those fun jobs we get!

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M.G.

answers from Austin on

Call Grandma the next time about midnight so she can come over......maybe she should save it for a b-day. I didn't think that tooth fairies came out of retirement. Not sure what is wrong with a dollar. We will be having this issue soon and I was wondering the going rates myself. I think I only got maybe a quarter or two....

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S.D.

answers from Austin on

The tooth fairy had been alive and well in our house for years and will be again when my youngest looses teeth. I've always left the kids a dollar, but I like the idea of leaving a Susan B Anthony, its unqiue and kids are all about having something different.

As far as the MIL, ask her husband to talk to her. Your son/her grandson is excited, why take that excitment away from him?

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L.W.

answers from Austin on

O.k. so I'm the true tooth fairy who needs to be replaced. I've fallen asleep more times than not and forgotten to leave whatever pocket change laying around under the pillow. Seriously, my children are great at giving grace and playing along. My oldest son started the tradition of running around outside the house three times in the morning chanting "Wiggle, waggle wee tooth fairy come to me" while the tooth fairy quietly leaves a quarter under the pillow.
My oldest, the night she lost her first tooth asked for a horse. I told her I didn't think it'd fit under her pillow but I'd talk to the fairy. Her sunday school teacher gave us some free riding lessons (and we paid for a few more to thank her) and so the t.f. left a sweet note telling her about it. Same daughter has also just gotten a quarter or two. No big deal.
On other first teeth we've given a special coin, like a Susan B. or Sacagawea. Alas, I've also forgotten a few teeth with no compensation. I'm thankful they've forgiven and forgotten(though sometimes I think they find them after a month or two under stuff stuffed under their beds, yuck!)
I guess my point is, that's its a game, and your mom-in-law was trying to get points at your expense. I'm so sorry.

I know she probably had fun doing this when she had little ones, but really its your turn now. Ask if she'd like to see a picture of the child when he loses the tooth and after finding prize under the pillow... take pictures for her...but I think she crossed a line...can't do anything about this time but maybe next time will be different.

good luck!

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K.M.

answers from San Antonio on

The tooth fairy is part of child hood. My brother is very strict with letting his children, he doesn't thtink that they should be told of the fake ideas of Santa and the Easter bunny, ect. But the tooth fairy is the one he let's them believe in. When they tell him that they have a loose tooth he gives them a dollar to encourage them to wiggle it and getbit to come out. Once they have it out them they clean the tooth and put it under their pillow. My sol does the switching of the tooth for two quarters. In the morning they give the quarters to my brother and he gives them a dollar I'm return.

He let's them have the fantasy but still show them daddy pays them too. He get to be the hero. My parents used to leave us one quarter per tooth. But then it went farther in the day. You give your child how much you feel is approprite. Your mil needs to accept that they are a grandparent and not the parent to the child. My I'm laws and parents tried to take over in my son and I put let's ok them as soon as I noticed them altering or contradicting my rules to make themself look like the hero.

One thing you can do is ask your mil to is if she wants to me the one who pays for the tooth then she can open a trust so that when she wants to spoil them with money, she can put it in their and it can be used at a later time to help with more improtant things. This way if they want to give whatever they want they can but it gives you the chance to teach them how to be responisble with money before and then the money that they give to the child can be better spent by going to a car or to their education

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N.T.

answers from San Antonio on

I would talk to your mother-in-law and tell her that you hope that she will appreciate your decisions but you want your child to believe. I know even when I was an adult my father would still us that if we didn't believe in Santa then we would not get anything. The joy of growing up believing in Santa, The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny etc. Please do not take that away from your child. That is all part of growing up and knowing there is someone or something out there just for you.
As for the $5. I do have a grandchild and I did leave her $5 once under the pillow from the tooth fairy but I have to admit she was staying with us when she lost it and she lost it like at 11:00 at night and all we had was the $5 bill so we put it under her pillow along with a note that the Tooth Fairy normally doesn't leave that much money but she had been such a good girl that year so she was deserving this one time. It worked. $1 is really best but trust there are many who will continue to leave their child $5.
Now your mother-in-law handing her the $5 and saying what she says just shows your child it didn't come from the tooth fairy. Your mother-in-law needs to explain to your child that it is strictly from Grandma and Grandpa or something or you need to explain it. Also explain that the dollar from the Tooth Fairy was special and you could say was made from Fairy dust or something to make them feel like the Tooth Fairy was special.
Mother-in-laws really don't mean to be mean and cruel. I think they just sometimes forget their manners when it comes to their grandchildren. Or at least I hope that is the case with your mother-in-law.
Good Luck

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W.C.

answers from San Antonio on

We haven't lost any, but our tooth fairy will only leave a dollar when she does visit. It isn't about the money, it is about the magic. I agree with pp, MIL needs boundaries. Giving the money is one thing, but she don't need to be like that. I would just tell her that the tooth fairy is doing what the tooth fairy should do to help mommy and daddy raise a responsible, child without entitlement issues.

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

First of all yes we did have the tooth fairy. And they got small amounts of money. You and your husband are the tooth fairy. Your mother in-law is the grandmother. He will always be more excited about the fairy because it is the unknown. Your mother in-law needs to be taken aside and told that she is not the fairy. She did that already, ask your husband what he got when the tooth fairy came to his house. Remind her of this amount only if necessary so that she understands the amount given. Oh by the way my kids are grown now and they have families of their own. SANTA still gives them gifts.And they look forward to them. Good luck this is such a fun time now, with the kids.

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P.J.

answers from Houston on

Mother in law need to back off. The tooth fairy, fairy need to be replace.

Theresa P.

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

I agree with you 100% that the tooth fairy is not Grandma's job. And the tooth fairy should keep her job. It is so much more exciting for the children.

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J.S.

answers from San Antonio on

We do just a dollar at our house. I would just sit down and talk with your mil and let her know that her comment made you upset and that you would appreciate if she didn't make comments like that in front of your son. If she wants to give your son money let her just make sure he knows it's because grandma loves him and wants to share in his moment not because the tooth fairy is cheap.

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M.M.

answers from Houston on

The tooth fairy left a gold dollar, a silver dollar, and a TX state quarter for the first tooth to encourage her to start a coin collection. Each tooth after that, she got a gold dollar. Grandma gave her a couple dollar bills too for each tooth. It wasn't a big deal to our daughter, as she was just excited to get money...and she doesn't see gold dollars much so they are a BIG deal. She also gets notes.

Ask your hubbie how much he got? (I'm sure it was a LOT less-LOL). If you mother in law makes a comment again, have him ask her why he got so much less and why the tooth fairy wasn't replaced then. I'm sure she'll get the point. If not, just smile and say that your child has the best possible tooth fairy and you wouldn't trade that for all of the money in the world.

P.S. We bought the book about Twinkle the tooth fairy, and got a special purple bag to put the teeth in!

As far as letting her believe in the spirit of toothfairy, santa, easter bunny, etc., we wouldn't short change her for anything. The joy of letting her experience this has been priceless, and I feel sorry for kids who don't get to experience these tender moments!

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

We give our son gold coins that you can get from the bank. We give him $2.

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C.F.

answers from Houston on

I'm so glad to hear that I'm on target with the $1 per tooth, BUT we do give $5 for each of the big front teeth because our tooth fairy thinks they are "special." I, too, have forgotten until morning, but here's a neat trick. We have a baggie we put under the pillow. When my son said he couldn't find the money, I had to think quick. I said, "Maybe it fell beside the bed." He fell to the ground looking while I threw the quarters on the other side of the bed!! Then I said, "HEY, here's something!" He was thrilled with the treasure hunt! Another time I said, "Maybe we didn't put the tooth RIGHT in the center of the pillow and she couldn't find it. Let's try again." The next night I did my job on time! Kids are forgiving and love this game! One more thing...in my own childhood, one of my favorite memories was that my tooth fairy left a paper with a symbol which led me on a matching game treasure hunt. I had to match the symbol on my paper to another taped somewhere in the house. When I found that paper, I found a note to seek out yet another piece of paper with a different symbol (like a flower) and so on. After about paper #5, there was a plastic egg full of change!! I loved this game and though it takes time, I just might try it.

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S.S.

answers from Austin on

In our house, it depended on the shape of the tooth and how hard it was to get out...LOL. The deal was that she had to pull her own tooth and that the tooth had to be in good condition (incentive to keep her teeth clean). Most teeth received $1 but some she received $1 and a pack of sugarfree gum and if they took a lot of work to get out or if they were in exceptional shape...we've awarded $5 on occasion. It was a case by case basis.

Each household is different and tells a different variation of the same tale...bottom line is that if one person walks around naked with a paper bag on his/her head wearing a pair of wings, it doesn't mean you have to do it too...LOL. :) Anything given is a blessing and I'm sure your son will appreciate whatever he gets.

About grandma, speak to her and just ask that she not talk to your son about Tooth Fairy matters. If she would like to give your son $$ for teeth that fall out, okay, that's a grandma's choice; but the Tooth Fairy should be off limits unless she discusses it with you first.

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J.R.

answers from San Antonio on

The only time my son has gotten moret han a dollar is when he had to have teeth pulled by the dentist, and that was because the tooth fairy felt that the pain warranted a $5.00 bill for two teeth. Other than that, it's always been a dollar.

C.G.

answers from Austin on

My son lost 2 just last week and he had loads of questions about the the Tooth Fairy, he hurried and went to sleep that night awaiting her visit. Its very sweet.
The Tooth Fairy left him a quarter for each tooth, he was very excited. He even said he felt the Fairy lift up his pillow when she came.......hmmmmm, ( hope he wasn't actually awake! ) :)))
Its all good though, he went around telling everybody how the Tooth Fairy took his teeth and gave him money for it and how she turns his teeth into magic dust!
As for you mother in law, I don't think that was appropriate but what can ya do, right?
Children have the right to grow up believing in fun silly things that we ourselves believed in, maybe politely tell her that and not to take away that 'magic'.
Good luck.

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T.W.

answers from San Antonio on

I have three children. My oldest two are 22 and 20 and my youngest is 13. The oldest two still talk about their tooth fairy stories. My son now 22 had a tooth pulled by the dentist and we went shopping at heb before going home and he lost the tooth in the store. To stop his crying we looked for quite a while without sucess. I had to write a letter to the tooth fairy explaining and placed it under his pillow. He woke up to a letter from her saying she had found his tooth and also a handfull of change. He was so excited. My daughter's favorite story was the time she woke me up crying and holding her tooth (I fell asleep)and she asked how come the tooth fairy forgot about her. I felt awful but calmly held her and explained that she was probably only late due to so many kids to see. I told her she would have to go back to sleep, which she did, and I put a dollar bill and some change under her pillow. She was so happy when woke up.

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D.L.

answers from Houston on

Dearest P.,

First of all....we definitely believe in the Tooth Fairy!! Gently tell M-I-L of the specialness of our little ones and not to spoil it. If she wants the honor of spoiling Santa Clause too, she better get ready for a fight!! ;) I am the mother of 4 wonderful boys (17, 16, 15, and 6) and the big boys enjoy pumping up the hype about the Tooth Fairy's cool gold dollars!

That brings us to how much the Tooth Fairy leaves at our house - she brings a shiny new gold dollar (HINT HINT - available in all postage machines at Walmart 24/7 in a crunch if unprepared when a tooth comes out. Put in $2 and buy the cheapest item in the machine, usually $.60 prepaid envelop or package of $.01 stamps)

Good luck dear, and just explain to M-I-L what you expect of her and she should respect you for it! If not, tell your husband to deal with Mom.

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A.M.

answers from Longview on

Personally, all my kids still believe in the 'tooth angel' (we try to steer away from fairy talk). I'm the proud mama of 3: 11 yr old daughter and two boys, 7 and 4. Of course, my oldest is becoming skeptical of her, santa, easter bunny, etc. But I tell them that they can believe if they want to and that they are as real as they want them to be. My main thing: As long as they believe in our Savior and that he died and rose again just for them, the rest is gravy.

The 'tooth angel' at my house has a standard $2.00, no matter how young or old they are. I think that because each home has different values and principles regarding money, each should choose the amount accordingly. Pick what you want and just stick to it. I think the dollar coin is a beautiful idea. Just think - every time your child loses a tooth, they have a shiny new coin to look forward to! That can be very exciting for your child.

As for the grandmother, you should probably sit down and talk to her about the values and principles you have in your home. Remind her that though you appreciate her views, your home and your children are just that: yours to influence as you choose. Maybe suggest she save those five dollars for the child's birthday or a special outing for just the two of them to spend time together.

Hope this helps! Enjoy your son's milestone by creating a tradition in your home that you all will enjoy!

L.A.

answers from Austin on

First of all, did you all know that teeth fall out in the order they came in?!!! So cool.

Anyway, parents are the magicians. Mother in law had her turn.
Just have your husband remind her that she is grandmother and can give the children money, but only as a loving grandmother not as fairies or other magical creatures.

A Susan B Anthony Dollar is awesome. Be sure if the Tooth Fairy continues this tradition, she should always have some on hand in case a tooth is knocked out unexpectedly.

We have a friend that their Tooth Fairy left a $20. bill each time a tooth fell out. Their Fairies really started to regret this once they had more than one child losing teeth at the same time.

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C.G.

answers from Houston on

P., Just what you said Grandma the tooth fairy is not your job. It is yours and your hubby's. If she insist on doing something maybe the tooth fairy could leave a little and I do mean a little bit for your son but not what you want to do for him.

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C.K.

answers from San Antonio on

I gave my son $2 for the first tooth and $1 for the others. I did $2 for the first one because the first tooth loss is special. My mom gave him $5 when he lost his first tooth. I told her that I didn't want her doing my job as the Tooth Fairy and by giving him more than I did she made me feel bad. She explained to my son that the money from her was because losing your first tooth is a special occassion that means he's a big boy and not a baby so she wanted to do something extra special for him. She didn't give him money for teeth after that and took our conversation well. I think you need to tell her that her comment about the Tooth Fairy needing to be replaced was hurtful to you and that she shouldn't override your decisions. It isn't easy to talk to Grandparents when they are trying to do something nice for the child and you don't agree with it but it has to be done because you are the parent.

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L.H.

answers from College Station on

I know inflation has hit, but really $5 is too much for 1 tooth. About 30 years ago, my kids got a quarter. Even my 15 year old grandson only got 50 cents and that was only 5 - 9 years ago. I'd say a dollar is about right on target. Have your husband tell his mom that y'all would like to be the tooth fairy and that perhaps she can find a little toy to give him in the future as a congratulatory prize for losing his tooth. How was this handled with your 13 year old? Just wondering if the problem cropped up then, too.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

I think ANYTIME grandma tries to make a parent (or his/her agents) look bad in front of their children something should be said. It is CERTAINLY not in her job description anymore than letting Santa leave bigger and better gifts at their house. I admit, I did feel pressure to leave bigger money than I got when my child lost her first tooth (call it inflation) but that pretty much was limited to the first tooth or the first molar, something like that. I think your offering was really neat and the fact that HE liked it it even better. If you're not comfortable saying some to her, your husband definitely should. Kids today expect more for everything. Appreciating a silver dollar may not last long. Don't let your MNL blow it just because your son's more familiar with paper money. Good luck. There are many more teeth to fall out!

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A.T.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi P.,

My son just lost his first two teeth one week apart. The tooth fairy left him a dollar (one bill) and a new toothbrush for the first tooth, and then a dollar (4 quarters) for the second. The funny thing is he was more excited about having 4 quarters (even though he knows its the same value). I agree that kids shouldn't be spoiled and learn to value treats and gifts no matter how small.
I guess your MIL just wants to feel included- but she should not be stepping on your toes to do so! I agree that your husband should talk to her. good luck! :)

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N.H.

answers from Houston on

Well THAT was rude & so inconsiderate of her to say that, especially you finding out about it. You definitly need to talk to her about that. If it were me, I'd even have my child present to reiterate the fact that she said that to him (if that's what happend). Loosing the first tooth is a monumental thing & she did nothing but undermine not only your authority, your personal relationship w/the tooth fairy (wink) but she caused a riff in your relationship w/her as well. She shouldn't have never have made you feel so small & insignificant & secondly, it wasn't her place to give him so much more money than the tooth fairy & to add on top of that, an insult! Personally, I think $5 was a bit much/overboard, the $1 sounded just right! When we were kids, we always got whatever the tooth fairy had on her at the time, whether it was $.15 cents or $.50 cents but usually it was between $.15-$.25 cents each time. Although that was way back when, we thought we were rich w/just that little amount. I'd give whatever you think is the right amount. If you think something as special as a SBA Dollar is enough, then that's what is should be. You should tell your son how special the SBA dollars are & the story behind them, perhaps he'll understand why he rec'd one...coz he's a special person & it's not the dollar amount that matters, it's the fact that he was special enough to receive it. But I wouldn't let that insult go w/o a good talking to G-ma. Good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Odessa on

Our family did have a toothfairy until the boys were old enough to know the truth about santa, which came when they started school (not my choice, hehe). I still did the tooth fairy and the kids thought it was fun even though they knew it was me and my husband. they were about 9 when i stopped.
On the MIL note. Some grandparents/inlaws just get so excited that they don't know when to stop. I'm not certain of your situation but I don't want to think that her intent was to undermind you and make you look bad by 'out doing' you. It's always hard when you think that grandparents are 'out of line'. But let me tell you my story...I don't have a MIL that does anything for my kids. I would trade many things for my kids to feel loved by her. Even though it's hard to accept, there are many things that we take personally that may not have been meant that way. Let it go if you can. Your son is much more excited about the money under his pillow than he will ever be about her 5 dollars. She loves your son but just may not be politically correct in the way she does things. She may not have even thought about stepping on toes, just excited for your son. We can pick our friends but we can't pick our family. Sometimes it's worth it to let some things go, and like with our kids, chose your battles wisely. Address the big issues and let the smaller ones go....i would trade many things to have a MIL that cared at all. I understand why your upset, but, I know that the older generation doesn't always think about how their actions may be perceived. In the end, you know the situation and have to handle it so that you feel comfortable. good luck to you and God bless.
A.

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R.R.

answers from San Antonio on

In my family, we believe in the Tooth Fairy and leaves my child a $5 for front teeth only and $1 for all others. Grandma was out of line in what she did. I would tell her "if you want to be the next Tooth Fairy, you can come over when he's asleep and leave whatever dollar bill you want, but I keep the tooth." Good luck.

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A.A.

answers from Houston on

we use golden dollars or Two Dollar bills we get from the recycle center in Houston (most banks will have them too). These are special since these are not commonly used. We call it fairy money. The kids love it. It is about the experience not the dollar amount in our family.

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U.

answers from San Antonio on

I think a dollar is plenty! And though I have no suggestion on how to deal with grandma, that was exceedingly rude and out of line on her part. Good luck.

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M.B.

answers from Houston on

My son received one dollar for his first tooth and 25 cents for the rest. Look at all the children's books out there that say the Tooth Fairy leaves a quarter...No Tooth No Quarter, A Quarter for the Tooth Fairy, etc.

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T.H.

answers from Austin on

P.,

$1 is sufficient for the tooth fairy!!!!!!! I know others that give more than that, but seriously, its a tooth....not a bday or something lol. I've learned with my parents (THE grandparents) I just have to tell them how it is. If they want to give them a buck for 'being a big boy/girl' after loosing that tooth, thats cool. But $5 and demeaning what you (the tooth fairy gave) will only lead your child to expect more everytime they loose teeth! Nip it in the bud and quick! Just politely tell grandma to please not do that again. Grandparents are great! But trust me...a single mom here that works nights and my kiddo spends ALOT of time with grandma/grandpa.......there still has to be limits! I know its hard.....I hate having to tell my parents to stop spoiling him so much, but it has to be done!
Good luck
T~

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H.B.

answers from San Antonio on

I'm 23.. so I don't think I'm that old.
When I was little I used to get a quarter for my teeth. When I got a little older and started losing "the back teeth" I got a dollar.
I think some parents spoil their children by giving them more. I think a dollar is a nice amount. My friends used to get 20 dollars sometimes.. I think that is plain ridiculous. You mother-in-law needs to mind her own business in my opinion. No idea how you can bring the subject up politely though.
And "right-on" with the tooth fairy! :) Kids need things like that I think. I know I want to do it but I'm not sure how.. my husband is French (and I currently live in France) they don't have a tooth-fairy, but a "tooth-mouse" it also sounds cute but not sure which one I'll do.. maybe my tooth -fairy will have a pet mouse.. heh.

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A.O.

answers from Sherman on

We did the tooth fairy growing up and received a dollar for the first tooth and 25-50 cents for each tooth after that. As far as your MIL, I would just let her give your son the $$, but let him know that the REAL tooth fairy leaves money ONLY under the pillow.

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