Too Young to Be Boy Crazy.

J.,

I have a six year old girl that is just as much caught up in the drama of being a girl as yours seems to be. Except mine loves to never do her hair and couldn't care any less about what she's wearing. But she just "love"d the boy next door, then this other kid then another one and now it is some other one that I don't know how is. I've been to her class and got to know most of her classmates so that gave me some good ideas about each child personally. That helped ease my mind, actually getting on the floor with these kids and being with them, seeing how they interact. I keep reminding myself that they act what they see. You might not stop in front of the mirror, but someone else may do just that. You aren't TOO paranoid I think. As a parent we need to be watchful, careful to slowly add things into their lives as they grow up, but also on the cautious side as they are exposed so quickly (too quickly) to the influences of the devil so early, even much earlier than we were! We attempt to put more emphasis on family time and friend time than boy time. (She doesn't actually play with boys outside of school, so that part is easy.) My daughter is also still quite easily distracted from being focused on something. A simple, "oh look at that bird!" gets her every time. They should take some "pride" in how they look, we don't want them looking like ragamuffins and not making any friends, that would also cause some negative results. BUT we don't want them to obsess about it. Gauge her perfection level on it all, and then relax around her and remind her she is a girl and needs to be doing girly things and having fun with friends. I'd also invite the girls over and really pay attention (go ahead and be nosy!!) and find out if there is one particular ring leader of the boy crazy crowd.

For the most part, it has come and gone for our daughter through her preschool and kindergarten years. We'll see what first grade brings!!

GOOD LUCK!!
V.
married 8.5 yrs to a dear husband who works really hard! DD is 6, ttc #2 for 5 yrs in August. Filling out adoption papers!

2 moms found this helpful

I cant tell you if it is normal or not, but my daughter is the same way. For us it started much younger and man did it freak me out. She was in preschool and in tears because the boy she "loved" said he was going to marry her friend. We talked about it a lot and I told her it was nice that she liked him but that she was not allowed to decide who she was going to marry until she was at least 16 (which at the time gave her something to shoot for). As time went by, she (while at the ripe old age of five) decided she was in love with another little boy, to the point of mauling him everytime she saw him. We talked about it again, that her behavior would make him dislike her and that she needed to be having fun instead of concentrating on boys but the message didnt really hit home until he pushed her to the ground to get her away from him. But this still didnt fix the underlying boy crazy problem. I spent a lot of time trying to come up with a solution that didnt invalidate her feelings but also fixed the problem. What I finally decided was that she was not getting enough positive attention from the boy that should be important in her life; her father. So I sat down with my husband and told him of the problem and we instituted a daddy daughter date night, where just the two of them go out to dinner or do something fun together like putt putt golf or a movie. It worked!!! The difference in my daughter's behavior is like night and day. Now instead of talking about a boy, she talks about how much fun she had on thier last "date", and the boy crazyness has disappeared. I really hope this helps you and your daughter.

1 mom found this helpful

Its a phase. I was like that at her age and my nieces are like that as well. The key thing here is to not discourage her or reprimand her. My mother did with me and after that I kept things, important things from her.
When I am with my nieces I ask them about their friends and crushes and we say someone is cute or not, etc. Keep the lines of communication open and early so when it really matters she will come to you openly and honestly.

Yes you are a little paranoid. I think that as parents we have this time frame set in our heads as to what age is ok for kids to feel emotions. She is simply innocently discovering that boys and girls are different and that she likes boys. What I would do if anything is to not make a big deal about and get her to talk about these boys and encourage positive talk. Chances are they are boys that she considers to be her friends. Kids this young don't understand much bigger relationships than that.

My daughter did that at the same age and then it went away. Hopefully it is a stage. If not, you may want to talk to her about it.

K. Loidolt
Author, Shopper's Guide to Healthy Living

Don't be too worried about her. She's a normal "I'm a princess, aren't I beautiful?" six-year old. Let her primp and pose and "love" all the boys. Ask her what it means to her to love them all. Her child definition will most likely be completely different than your adult version! Don't make a big deal about things, and they will slowly disappear into another phase that will worry you more :)! She sounds like a loving child. Praise her when she behaves maturely, and ignore the "normal" stuff. Keep encouraging her to do the things that require movement and fresh air. She WILL out grow it for a time, and then she's a teenager. Enjoy her now! Keep asking questions of those who have been there, done that! Limit the television and videos where she can get other ideas.

J., my son was 5, and he kept telling everybody how he loves the neighbor girl who was 4. When asked, what do you like about her, his best response was: "I like her dress, and I like her smile, and I like her eyes, and I like her buttons!!!" He stressed the word "buttons" :).
I do not think anything is wrong with Your wonderful daughter. What I would suggest, is to point her out how important are not just looks, the "wrapping" so to say, but CONTENT. Help her to notice good traits in her friends: their friendly attitude, their caring, ability to share, to be nice to others... show her what are the real values in other people, and teach her how to be a good friend. After all, love comes and goes, but friendship stays forever. It is a good field to work on, make use of the situation: as she is interested in other people (boys, so what?!), she will be very attentive to what yo have to say about it. Be your best friend to gently direct her attention to importances in communication with people, I believe it is a very good situation.
Good luck to you, and be happy, both of you!! :)

I went through the same thing with my daughter only I didn't know it (the writings) until later on. I tried to think back when I was a young girl and I try to be more compassionate. She will come home with talking about someone new almost daily so I just talk it out with her and try to stay "in-tune" to what's going on with her and her friends at school. Good luck!

she's ok. just have fun with her. I went through the same thing. i think girls are just that way.

It is very normal. I remember and even look back to my diary as a little 2nd grader and read where I wrote, "I love Tait." over and over again. You just have to mostly watch out for when she gets hurt and the little boy tells her that he doesn't like her back.
As far as her appearance goes. Sit down with her some day or just give her subtle hints that she is beautiful but it is okay not to be always beautiful (messed up hair, dirty clothes, etc). Or something to that effect. Good luck on whatever you do.

A thought... How much "adult" TV is she watching. Crude humor is funny and ok as an adult but a child just seeks to reenact the things they see. SO if she is watching lots of shows that obsess over boys she's going to mimic that behavior. Best of luck! Help her stay young as long as possible

All I can tell you is that I was boy crazy at that age too. I think at this age it's harmless. Just talk to her and let her know that there are other things in life. Keep her busy, and remember that when she is older it will only get worse, and you will really have to keep an eye on her.

My daughter started at age 4 - we would pass some little boy she knew and say to me "Mom Johnny makes my heart beat fast" or get real bashful when we would get around him. Then she began to bully other girls that would get near him during recess, even recruit her other friends to do this. This really bothered me but I took it with stride and explained to her that this (especillay bullying) is not acceptable, the crush is normal (I was very much like this when i was young)but to consider how uncomfortable she made Johnny when she was around. She likes talking about it and like the previous reponse I believe it is much more important to focus on keeping the communication about her fellings open so that she will continue to share when it really gets important - like during her pre-teen and teen age years.

Mom of one great little girl - Age 5.

i don't really have any personal experience with this, but if it makes you feel any better, i have a freind who has 4 daughters, and her 6 year old is the same. She thinks that she's the prettiest of all the sisters, poses, wants designer jeans and is horribly popular and likes boys. Seems to be a trend in first grade.

I really wouldn't worry about it. Seriously, try to think back to when you were her age. Just be happy that you have raised a sweet little girl with the capacity to love. She could just as easily be mean and say she hated every boy that she sees.....I would much rather deal with the sweetness of her having a tiny crush then having to reprimand her for telling me she hates everyone!! :) Let her be little, let her have crushes.....they're harmless. BUT when she's 16 and in love with everyone....that's another story!! :) Just roll with it and let her express herself to you - that will definitely be the groundwork for when she IS 16 and needs to talk to you! Good luck.

i would say that as long as she still plays and interacts with other children she is fine. i remember that i thought that elvis and john travolta were really cute when i was her age. she is only noticing that peoples looks are different and these particular boys she is fond of.

on the other hand as a paranoid mom if there is any dout about any fowl play then ask some silly playfull questions about why she likes them and what does love mean to her. and reassure her that if there is anything that she would like to talk about theat you are there for her and your love for her would only get bigger for her and never taken away.

god bless and good luck

Hi J.,

Don't worry too much about it, but look around at what might be influencing her. does she watch alot of TV (especially things like Hannah Montana)? DOes she have older cousins who she may be modeling after? Most likeley she's just modeling after something she has seen in the media. Have you talked to her about it?

I have raised three older kids (one girl) and have a 7 year old at home. She is a little "boy crazy" too. We just try to keep it light, joke about it when it comes up. They use the word "love" so loosley, but it is very normal for some kids. I know that with her, she is trying to be like her big sis who is always dating!

We had a funny experience a few weeks ago when trying to plan our summer. SHe saw that one of the local dance studios was offering a ballroom class and thought it might be fun. But her final comment was "and the last class is a real dance, with BOYS!" Needless to say, she IS NOT taking that class!

Just remember, look for the influences and approach it with humor. SHe'll be OK. She obviously has a mom who is involved and cares deeply!

M.

Although this is normal behavior, I think you are justified in your concerns. I am a mother of two boys --- but I am also a teacher and a coach that has worked with girls. Society puts a lot of pressure on girls and their self image. She is constantly being bombarded with how to look and act. TV commercials, TV shows, movies, toys, etc. It is important for you to provide appropriate role models and to teach her self confidence, etc. For example, Instead of letting her watch Disney Princess movies, introduce her videos or books of Mia Hamm, the soccer player. Read Alcott's Little Women to her. I think there is a book about American Icons who are women. I'm not sure of the title. Show her Danica Patrick, the race car driver. I would nip it in the bud before she becomes a teen. There are lots of great female role models out there, including yourself. Expose her to more of what you want, and limit her exposure to what society wants. Good luck.