Too Many Accidents

That sounds really tough.

I have something to try, which is something I did with my son when he peed all over the floor because he was too busy playing trains - he was a little over 3. I gave him paper towels and made him wipe it up. I didn't get mad, just firm and said. Now you have to clean it up. He cried, but I still made him wipe it up (not throughly, just to get the point).

Then we changed into clothes and gave hugs. It worked, he still occasionally has accidents, and sometimes he leaks a little because he waits to long, but it helped.

Also, because his sister is still in diapers, it might not be as motivating to be a big kid. When he is around other kids his age and sees them doing big kid stuff, it will also help.

1 mom found this helpful

I'm going through the same thing with my son. All the books say to keep trying until he gets it that some just take longer. Someone suggested with the pee to put a couple of cheerios in the toilet and let them shoot at them with their pee. My son didn't like that but he does like standing up and peeing and puts the toilet seat up every time too. I've been really lucky with the poop because he goes poop on the toilet more than he does in his pants but every once in awhile he doesn't make it to the toilet.

What worked best is I bought baby diapers and told him if he wanted to be a baby he would have to wear baby diapers like his cousing. The only time I use this method is when he is purposely just going in his pants and not even trying to go to the potty (several times). I don't punish him for accidents when he is playing or when he tried to make I just tell him we got to try harder next time and I always ask him if he has got to pee and sometimes make him go when I know that he should be going soon.

I never give sweet treats for going potty because I figure that he will always want those and after they are potty trained I don't want to back petal because he wants M&Ms when he goes potty. Good luck to both of us and hopefully soon we will both have fully potty trained children. My son has to be potty trained before he turns 3 because of day care issues so wish me luck back.

Hi M.
I feel you my son did the same thing at the same age. Myself and the school tried different things. The thing that worked at schol was his friends might tease him. at home it was totaly different. I finally stop fussing about and he came into on his own. But i never went back to pull ups.
Good Luck.

I bought my son a book about Ernie going to the potty (sesame street) and we did a little 'celebration' party & threw out his pull-ups. We told him he was a big boy now & didn't need his little boy pants, let him be the one to throw them out & went from there. From that point on, it was only underwear & he did really well. I read that if my son knew he had a safety net (i.e., the pull-ups) he would regress and in our case that was true. The biggest problem is that they do NOT want to stop playing to go - check out video's about this too - I think there's an Elmo one that's pretty good. Once he see's Ernie & Elmo stop playing to go potty, maybe that will help. Does he have any friends he can play with that go potty? Sometimes the mini 'peer pressure' helps - when they see other kids go, they want to too.

Listen, you really are doing the right things - they just learn all at different times. Hang in there & take it day by day. Keep up the positive reinforcement & when he has an accident, ask him to take part in the clean up, but don't punish him for it. Less of a big deal over an accident will let him know he only gets attention for the best result, not the worst.

Best of luck & keep smiling - you'll both get there!
J.

I am a mother of 1.5 yr old and 3.5 year old girls. I have also been teaching pre-school for over 10 years. My advice is patience and a little bit of reflection. Ask yourself, does your son know how stressed you are about potty training? Could he be responding (albeit negatively) to your stress? Think about the indicators that made you decide to potty train: did you decide or did he? You list 8 approaches you have taken towards his response to potty training, how much time has lasped between each method. Did you give your approaches at least 2 weeks before giving up?

I definitely advise patience and as much calmness as possible ~ especially with BMs, that can be scary for a child. Also, at school, we just tell parents to be consistent with their approach, i.e, if it's underwear you want him to wear then do not send mixed messages with pull-ups during the day. Keep in mind that consistency and predicatbility are what children count on and thrive on.

It's also important to make him part of the process even when there are accidents (help clean up and change his clothes, etc) I know it's trying and sometimes you are wondering who is in charge (you or him!), but utlimately it will work itself out. Good Luck!

Boys are more difficult to potty train than girls for some weird reason. Mine was also a real pain until I realized that if I put a step stool at the base of the big potty, he would feel more secure because then his feet would be resting on something solid instead of him having to concentrate on balancing his little body over a very large hole. It wasn't so scary for him after that. Try it and see if it works ---- good luck!!

We are in the same predicament...our daughter says she just does not know...We currently are taking a break, I am due Oct 3 with our 3rd so the Dr. said she most likely will regress after the baby is born. I guess I just feel like it will happen when it happens.
Good luck, I feel your pain!

I suggest calling your pediatrician and discussing it with him/her. Also, consistency is key. Sounds like a power struggle. No matter how difficult it is for you to be consistent, you have to be the one who wins. Making him "sit in it" can be unhealthy and even cruel. Please try something else. Good luck!

My son did that too at 2 1/2 and honestly I think it was just a battle of the wills for us. I put him back in bay diapers for a week. The first couple of days he thought that it was great...he told me things like he liked to sit in his pee and poop..then he wanted his big kid underwear back...I told him he had to wait a few more days then we could try again. After a week we got his big kid underwear back on..no accidents the first few days, then it was back to the sam old pattern..he like to sit in it, too busy, etc. I made him help me wash them out in the sink...we wold dump the poop in the potty, and then fill the bathroom sink with soap and water, he'd stand on his step stool and I made hime wash them. THat seemed to do the trick in no time . Hope this helps, and if it is any consolation, I hear girls are way easier to potty train...I sure am hoping cuz my little girl just turned one, and as far as I am concerned the sooner we are out of diapers the beter :)Good Luck

Boys at that age shouldn't have a problem with going to the potty. The one thing that comes to mind for me is that he might be jealous. He sees that you change your daughter when she goes potty in her diaper. So he might think that well my sister gets mamas attention by going potty in her pants so in gonna do it too.

So I would just give him a little extra time he's still trying to deal with having a sister and going on the potty.

And I would go back to the 30 min timer, a sticker chart, small candies, and extra hugs

Sounds like your son hasn't finished potty-training. My daughter didn't finish til I took the advice of a mom of 6. I had my daughter in Pull-ups, because I didn't want to clean up the mess from her messing in training pants. But this mom's advice was to put her in training pants and give her 1 M&M or other such small piece of candy every time she went to the bathroom. The reason? Who can stop at just 1 M&M or Reese's Pieces? She said that kids will want to keep going to the bathroom in the potty just to get the piece of candy. When she would poop on the potty, I gave her 2 pieces. My daughter was going to the bathroom only on the potty within a week. After that week, I would give her 2 pieces every time she went pee without me telling her to go and 4 every time she went poop without me telling her. I kept up the candy for about a month, but after the 3rd week I just rewarded her sporadically so she learns that she doesn't get a piece of candy forever when she goes to the bathroom. The mom who told me that says she has done that for all 6 of her kids, and it has never failed. My daughter finished potty-training in a week. If I ever have any more kids, I will be starting this technique as soon as the child shows interest in the potty. I'm going to save myself a couple years and a lot of money! Good luck!

Hello....what worked for me was the 'Elmo goes potty doll'(Elmo sits on a toilet and it makes a noise when he goes then Elmo says,"Elmo went potty"....it worked wonders...good luck:)

I completely feel for you, I went through the same thing with my son. The only thing that finally worked for me was, I went to the dollar store and bought a bunch of toys and hung them up on the inside of the bathroom door. High enough where he couldn't reach them. The first day he would go in there and stare at them wanting them soooo bad. He knew if he went on the potty he would get to choose a toy. It worked in two days. I also put chucky cheese certificates, spiderman cards, some candy. Hang it all up! and he can shop when he goes potty.
Good Luck.

FTWM of 5yr old boy, 3yr old girl, and 3mth old boy

Sounds like he's just not ready, and it's very likely that while well intentioned all of your methods of getting him to go have turned into a game. I'd back off. Give him a week or so in his pull-ups without trying to get him to use the bathroom. During that week you might want to get some good potty books to read and maybe a potty doll, but don't harp on him for going/not going. If by the end of the week he hasn't started asking to go himself (which he just might!) Simply start over with a blank slate. It sounds like you could both use it!

Good luck!

The only thing I can think of right now, is to not put his in his pull-ups. That is giving his an option not to go to the bathroom. Try letting him get wet in his underwear enough times where maybe he will not like that feeling anymore and will remember to use the bathroom.
Sorry, that is all I could think of right now.
Good luck.

Hi M.,

I am a mother of four boys and I have to tell you that when the boys were first potty trained, they too still had several accidents. My boys are all now potty trained but I have to admit that when my 5 year old is really into something, he does the same thing. I have talked to him about this and have let him know that he is now 5 and that he has to take the time to stop what he's doing GO TO THE POTTY!! How long ago did you get your son potty trained? If he was just potty trained a few months ago, then I can tell you that he still needs to be taken to the washroom regularly; I did mine every 20-30 minutes. Poop for a boy usually takes a little longer than pee during the training stage.

I can tell you not to punish him for it; it will be a negative experience for him. My ex did that with my oldest when he made mistakes with poop and my son to this day tries to hold it back; he is now 11 and it's psychological for him.

They say boys are harder to train than girls; I don't have girls but I have a lot of neices and my sister and sisers in law all share that yes they have had a harder time training the boys than the girls.

Hang in there and just set a schedule for yourself and your child to go to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes. I had mine sit for about 5-10 minutes and even took a book in the bathroom or would strike up a conversation of things they were interested in. Another thing you can do is have his friends that are potty trained and tell him what a big boy he is for using the toilet all by himself and also tell him about the great underwear he gets to wear that a baby wouldn't be able to wear. I've used pull ups or diapers for the car and for sleeping. Tell him his characters don't like to get soiled; it makes them feel bad; it worked for my boys.

Accidents will happen but PLEASE be more understanding than anything because if you get mad or punish him, it can have a negative effect on your child; my son is proof of that and he doesn't soil but he doesn't want to use the bathroom for #2 because of his father and that is something I don't wish on any child.

Good luck to you and your son.

Have you tried those diaper covers from Gerber? They're plastic, and make it really uncomfortable for them (and they'll save your stuff from his accidents). I explained to my daughter that any day that she had an accident that for the rest of the day I had to put a diaper cover on just to make sure that she didn't ruin the furniture. She hated the diaper covers so much that it stopped with in a week.

www.sclb.net

I agree that the gerber underwear covers are great. I don't think my second son would have ever potty trained without them (he was over 3, too.) One of my neighbor's two 3.5 year old boys is still not completely trained (pooping is the issue) so I know your son's not the only one.

It sounds like you've tried everything. So frustrating! I guess what it comes down to is that it's something they control and nothing you do can change that. Is there any constipation issue or is he trying to avoid pooping on the potty? I know a boy who had that problem - he didn't want to use the toilet so then he would get constipated and have uncontrollable accidents.

dear M.,
I'm sure that you are getting frustrated with all of this. it sounds like your son is just not ready to be fully potty trained yet. lots of boys in my neighborhood are 3 1/2 or 4 and still wearing pull ups (lots are finished earlier too) but I don't think you should ever punish your child in any way for accidents or not using the potty. that will only backfire. stick with rewards, positive reinforcement... when he's ready, he'll get it. it's just one of those things that will suddenly click with your child. you can't force it to happen. hang in there : )