41 answers

Too Early to Go on Vacation Without Baby?

My husband and I have an amazing opportunity with his job to visit South Africa. However, it is an adults only trip and our baby will only be 7 months (trip is at the end of November). It would be about a 10 day trip and I am struggling with the decision to go or not. My parents would be more than happy to watch her and it is a once in a lifetime opportunity, not to mention it would be wonderful to reconnect with my husband. Not only would I miss her like crazy, but I am still breastfeeding so I would either need to start pumping and storing or wean my baby sooner than I had wanted. Also, my parents are 5 hours away and she doesn't see them that often (once or twice a month) so I'm worried about her comfort level even though I know she would spoiled like crazy. I'm wondering what you all would do in this situation? Would you go or stay? (My husband will be going even if I choose not to) If you would go, would you pump and store or wean? And is there any concern with leaving her, as far as stranger anxiety and missing us to the point where she won't do anything but cry?
Thanks in advance for any advice, tips, suggestions.

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks to everyone for the responses. So much great advice given. and wonderful personal stories. Even after reading all of the responses, talking to friends, family and my pediatrician I still had a difficult time deciding. What a strong maternal instinct to NOT leave your baby!! In the end, with persuasion from my husband, I did decide to go. And now that we are back and baby in my arms I am very glad I went. It was a long sad flight over for me - lots of crying - and pumping on the flight was a hassle. But I was so busy once we arrived that I hardly had time to be too sad. I did get a blocked duct, so the pumping was the worst part. My milk supply did diminish, but came back within a week once I returned home. There were lots of calls back home and my parents sent lots of pictures via email. They all enjoyed each other very much. When we returned we didn't get much more than a big smile and a look of: "oh, your back". There was no drama and she is as happy as ever. I did miss her and was anxious to get back to her, but not enough to ruin the trip and I would have never gone if I didn't have my Mom and Dad to watch her. In the end it was the best decision to go and so thankful I did. Someday we will go back and take our beautiful daughter to see beautiful South Africa with us.

Featured Answers

Go & pPump don't worry about storing it. If you think about it you can prepare & behappy on vacation.

More Answers

To all the moms that say she should stay with her baby...kudos to you. Having a baby is by choice so that meant vacations without baby, partying, etc. is not acceptable as parents.

It is wonderful to hear that there are moms out there that wouldn't leave there child/children for a long period of time for the sake of having a fun time.

There is a place and time for everything but at this point your child needs you.

1 mom found this helpful

I would go with what your gut says. For me though, I wouldn't go. 10 days is a long time. My husband and I went away without our daughter for 4 days when she was 19 or 20 months and she was a wreck while we were gone. She was still breastfeeding also, but at that point its more emotional than nutritional so I didn't need to pump for her (she continued to breastfeed after we got back, though). Anyway, we missed her and she missed us a lot. She was clingy and weepy for the last couple of days we were gone and clingy and weepy for a week or so after we got back. We just babied her for that time so that she could trust us not to leave her again :(

I can completely understand the temptation to go and I would waaaant to go too, but it would make me too nervous.

1 mom found this helpful

I would pass on the trip, only because of the age of your daughter. I personally would have a very hard time leaving her.

I also think it would be hard on a 7 month old to be away from mom/dad for that long, with someone they are not familiar with.

Africa will always be there (whether you choose to go at a later time in your life), but your daughter is only a baby once.

1 mom found this helpful

C.,
Here's some advice from an older mom:
I understand your anxiety as a new mom. Your life is dedicated to taking care of this wonderful, very needy bundle of joy. How hard it is to say good-bye even for a few hours. I don't think I would have gone when my kids were little. But now that they are grown up and surrvived so many trauma's, both big and little, if I could go back in time and tell myself it will be OK, I would.
I had 3 kids in 3 years and no parents or in-laws living close by. Needless to say, we never went anywhere! We did no for a 2 day overnight on one of our anniversaries. I was nervous about being gone and couldn't wait to get back to my babies! The kids were absolutely fine and hardly seemed to miss me. 10 days is a lot longer than 2 days and you will be very far away, however I would say go for it! My kids are now 20, 18 and 17 and frankly they don't remember anything before the age of 3 or 4. We also adopted a relative just before he turned 1. Talk about seperation anxiety! He was taken from his home and sent to live with strangers. We lived in a different state and had never met him before. 7 years later, he is a happy, well adjusted little boy with no seperation anxiety issues. He does not remember the trauma of coming to live with us. Your daughter will be fine. Will she cry? absolutely! Will it be hard on your parents? Most likely it will be. But kids are wonderfully resilient and she will not have any long term trauma from being away from you for 10 days. Go on this once in a lifetime trip and take lots of pictures to show her when she is older. She will be fine.
You'll have to figure the weaning thing out for yourself. My daughter weaned herself at around 7 months because I got pregnant with number 3! She is very healthy, hardly ever sick and a beautiful 5'10" tall. Don't stress about the little things, you'll have enough worries once they start dating and driving. Go to Africa and have a great time.
B.

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I went on an overseas trip for 8 days when our daughters were 3yrs and 12 months. They had a great time with our friend who tended them. Our baby didn't seem phased, and our older girl just said, "I missed you SO much!" when we woke her up to say hello.

Go on your trip and ENJOY IT!

1 mom found this helpful

I do know that there is a stage of separation anxiety at around 7-9 months and that may make the trip really hard on her. Especially since she does not know your parents well. I don't want to tell you what to do, but if it were me, I don't think I would be able to do it. 7 months is still really young. Your baby does not really know that it is separate from you until it is around 1 1/2. Unless however, you have a really easy going, go with the flow kind of baby. In that case, it might be just fine. I hope everything works out for you!

1 mom found this helpful

Go GO GO GO GOOOOOO!! Yes, you'll miss your baby, but doubtful that your baby will miss you. You will definitely NOT be psychologically damaging your child by leaving. And NO you're not a bad parent for wanting to go or for even going.

We make many sacrifices for our children all of our lives, but sometimes we must do things that are for ourselves. Geesh, how many opportunities will you have to go to SA? ummmmm, none. It's ONLY 10 days....it's not a month or 10 months....a short 10 days. There are parents who are deployed in the military for months on end w/out seeing their children. GO GO GO!!

And as my first pediatrician said, there are babies who cry from the time they exit the womb - 24/7. Doubtful that she will cry except when the normal times happens.

Have a FANTASTIC time on your vacation. Come back and tell us all about it, so we all can be jealous.

1 mom found this helpful

GO!!! If you trust your parents with your child, then go! I did. I had a chance to go to Paris, but it ment leaving my little ones when they were still very small. I have great memories, and the kids were just find without me for a few days, plus it helped them to learn that even it Mom goes away for a few days, she will return.

1 mom found this helpful

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