27 answers

Tomorrow Is My Birthday and I Am So Overweight :(

My husband and i has been trough a lot the last year and half. We have one income, have no family in the area, i lost my friend when things were no fun anymore( no she is alive but she is not my friend anymore), and we have to face a few therapists who unfairly tried to misdiagnose our son (past posts) thank GOD!!! He is a late talker but it was because of hearing loss due to enlarged adenoids, neurologically he is fine and getting better everyday after ear tube surgery.
We don't go out anymore as a couple, we do the same routine every day. Trough it all we have been always together. I lost the baby weight 55 lbs after my son was born and slowly the weight has come back. I have thyroid nodules but they don't seem to affect the weight the doctor said. Right now I am 43 lbs overweight and i can't fit in most of my clothes, the summer was a disaster, i had maybe 3 pants that fit. I feel so down and i know what i have to do diet and exercise. I just can't seem to find the time. I know many of you has gone or are going trough the same, i am so overwhelmed with the house work plus i have no family to rely on. I need to dedicate time for me but is just so difficult. My son started preschool twice a week 2 1/2 hours but still is like cleaning, papers, laundry, backyard, etc. I need guidance and tips about how to make time so i can exercise, maybe diet tips, my self esteem is very low now :(
thank you mamas for reading my question and send any response, i will read them all and try to get to learn from your tips!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

You've got lots of good practical info from other women. I just wanted to add that losing weight is doable but it's a long process and doesn't happen overnight. This was the hardest thing for me - to stay focused on losing weight over a long period of time. Weight Watchers helped me a lot - going to weekly meetings helped to stay tuned on my weight loss goals and meeting other people who shared their tips and stories was inspiring. I lost about 40 pounds and kept my low weight until I got pregnant with my first child. After giving birth I tried to lose weight by myself but it just didn't work.... Now my son is 6 y.o., and I'm pregnant again and determined to join WW as soon as I'm ready after having my new babies (twins:) It's just hard to do it alone and easier when you're a part of a group. At least for me. You can do it! Wish you all the best!

1 mom found this helpful

I agree that you need a few things that fit you. I just did this and it feels amazing. I'm just a few pounds away from my prebaby weight and I kept procrastinating to buy new stuff because money is tight and once I lose the last 10 lb's then I'll buy new stuff... well, my baby is 2 and my clothes were terrible!

I went to Ann Taylor Outlet today and everything in the store is 40% off. If you have one near you, go buy a pair of pants and some T-shirts. You'll feel better. When you feel better, you do better, IMO.

Take a deep breath, it will all be ok. You are a great mom.

J.

1 mom found this helpful

Just walk....if you have a treadmill, do it 1/2 hr per day and at least 4-5 times a week. Or walk that much time at a brisk pace outside. It is the best andidote to weight and stress for all time.
And to add more to this, if you can, eat fruit only always for dessert.
You will definitely make it this way. It's my only answer!

More Answers

There is a website called www.flylady.com that you should check out. It's free to sign up and what it does is give you weekly and daily assignments for organizing your house. I think that if you follow this system, your house and your life will benefit greatly from it and that will be one less thing for you to worry about.

Next up, I would see if you could join a mom's club in your area. The benefit of this would be several things: (1) making friends with other mommies; (2) finding other moms that you can walk and diet with; and (3) they have a lot of activities and playgroups that you can join which means you won't be at home as often and the house won't be getting dirty/cluttered.

It sounds like you have had a lot on your plate lately and it is no wonder why you are feeling the way you are feeling. Don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone deserves sometime, after a long stressful season, to take a time out and lick your wounds. Just try not to stay in that state. When you are ready, set one small goal at a time and do the best that you can with the time and resources you have available. And remember, no matter what else you may think may be going wrong for you, you are a good mom because you knew enough and were brave enough to investigate your son's language delay and find out the truth about what's going on. You really deserve a really good pat on the back for that.

I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow and feel better soon.

3 moms found this helpful

I know how you feel! I am also over weight. I have made it a priority to exercise! I had to! I want to be healthy and here for my kids! I found a great web site that really helped me. It's sparkpeople.com They have great tips, show you different exercises, recipes, and support/chat rooms. There are tons of different groups for people with all different kinds of interests. They are so great for support! Also, you can try Shredheads. I can get the video on our tv...on demand, I don't know if you have that? Anyway, it's Jillian Michaels. It's TOUGH! but it's effective! Or you can walk. Anywhere and everywhere! All of these things will help. Also, try looking up MOPS (Mothers of Pre-schoolers) It's a mothers group where you can bring your kids w/you and they watch them while you get adult time w/other moms. It was a Godsend for me, as I knew no one here when we first moved. I meet 3 of my best friends there! They have the groups all over the place so there may be one near you! Hope that helps, and have a wonderful birthday!

2 moms found this helpful

Know that you're not alone, girl! Some ideas that come to mind (some things I try to do to help me):

1. Drink water and only water. Perhaps a swig of 100% fruit juice when you're really craving a sweet drink. Don't buy the sodas, don't buy the koolaid. If they're not in the house, it'll be nerve-wrecking, but easier to control.

2. Eat protein in every meal. Protein will help you stay fuler longer. So a scrambled egg or hard boiled egg or two for breakfast, grilled chicken with veggies for lunch . . . . A good snack is one handful of nuts. Good protein, good oils. Just don't overdo it and don't get the sugary coated nuts.

3. If you can, get someone in on it with you. It's not easy to do this all alone. Get a friend who you can check in with every day or every week. Maybe every week you can email eachother what you ate that week or what exercise you did that week. Once you write it down and share it with someone, you will be more motivated to stick to it.

Sorry that's all I got. Just remember that you're not alone. Oh and don't go buy new pants if you can help it! If you buy the bigger pants, you will fill them up. Tell yoruself you're going to fit into your pants you have and make it happen! You can do it. Get online. Educate yourself about diets and meal planning and exercising.

2 moms found this helpful

I know how you feel, with the weight issue. First, acknowledge that you're doing a great job, and it is a BIG job! I am by no means an expert, and I'm not always where I should be with eating. But one thing that has helped me is green smoothies. Sounds gross, and they look, well, green. But I promise, they taste pretty good. Not like a milkshake good, but good. My aunt, and then my sis, tried to get me to try them awhile back--it wasn't til I was at my sister's one day, and she made one and gave me some, that I tried it. You basically do a combo of green leafy veg and fruit (fruit makes it taste good) in the blender. If you do this, you'll be fuller, and don't have to worry about fitting in fruits & veg the rest of the day. There are of course other benefits--check out this site: www.greensmoothiequeen.com for more info. Even if you start out doing one a week, that's great! It also helps me if I plan dinners & snacks ahead. For meal planning, just decide what you're going to eat, category-wise. (like chicken night, fish night, pasta night, etc.) Next, think of four dishes for each of thoe categories (4 fish dinners, 4 chicken, etc). Plug these into a calendar for the month, and you've just planned your dinners for a whole month. I don't know if any of this will help you. Above all, try not to be so hard on yourself--I know, I know, you sometimes feel like you should be harder on yourself, and then you'd lose the weight, right? Wrong. Be kind to yourself--you've got a big job, or JOBS to do, and a lot of demands.

As far as time with your hubby, and exercise, try to go out just once a month together, alone. And can you ever go for walks together? That would be getting two birds with one stone. Good luck to you.

2 moms found this helpful

I think if you take care of your other issues, your weight will come down. Two or three times you mentioned that you have no family or friends right now near you. You sound like the stress of life without the joy in it is making you depressed and my guess is that you eat for comfort. This is so common. Rather than jump in with dieting, why don't you start out with taking brisk walks, preferrably outside to boost your mood and your health. Then start going on dates with your hubby. When you kid is at preschool, can you call an old friend on the phone, and start finding activities that are SOCIAL while he is gone or home, like a mom group or something. Anyone would feel a little down without the friends and family and little kids. You can find some friends. Then once you have some more joy and fun in your life, you can up the exercise and start cutting down on junk food and treats.

2 moms found this helpful

First of all, Happy Birthday to you! Secondly, you're not alone. I think so many of us get so caught up in being Moms, that we totally lose ourselves. We put on weight, because it's so hard to watch what we eat while taking care of children all day. We snack when they do, finish what they don't eat, etc.

Exercise is so much more important than dieting. It really releases endorphins, making you a happier person, boosts your metabolism rate so that when you DO tend to over-eat, it's not that big of a deal, and just generally makes you feel better about yourself.

I do the Jillian Micheals workout videos at night after the kids go to bed. They're only 20 minutes long, but they WORK. I suggest you try one out, see what you think. It's only 20 minutes out of your day and really makes a difference.

Good luck, keep us posted. Don't beat yourself up....being a Mom and wife is very stressful.

L.

1 mom found this helpful

I know how you feel! I have 3 kids under five and have no time or energy to exercise. I constantly feel like my head is barely above water with all the housework. Tomorrow, my husband is taking all the kids (God bless him!) to the in-laws for the entire day so I can clean my house! Anyway, several weeks ago, I cut out snacks entirely for several weeks (slipped since then) and the pounds slowly started coming off. I lost 5-7 lbs. just cutting out snacks. You could start there - but you should definately find some other mommy friends! I started a playgroup in my neighborhood by putting flyers up on our mailboxes and four of us meet once a week now. Good luck! Oh, and Happy Birthday!!!

1 mom found this helpful

Happy Birthday! The only program that has ever worked for me is Overeaters Anonymous. It's a 12-step program similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. I lost weight and have friends for life. Most importantly, my life as a whole is so much better. Go to http://www.oa.org to find meetings in your area. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

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