Toilet Training Boys for Bowel Movements

I have 4 boys ages 5-13. Honestly it sounds to me like he's just being defiant. He's 3 yrs old, MORE than old enough to be going in the toilet. If he's hiding then he knows what he's about to do therefore ,there is no excuse for him not going to the bathroom.
I think there needs to be a negative consequence when he goes in his pants. Throw out the diapers or pullups ,put him in underwear (yes, I know it's nasty to clean) and let him know what's going to happen if he goes in his big boy pants.
As for the quiet and concentration, I would sit mine on there with a book(you need a potty seat that fits over the big toilet seat so they can hold book with both hands) and make them stay until they would go.(this was not a fight, don't picture kicking and screaming with me holding them down LOL:>)Eventually, they learned how to push it out when on the toilet.
This is what I have done and all mine where trained by 2. Hope it helps!

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I didn't read that you have tried to give him books to "read" while he is doing his business. Also, I don't see that you are putting him on a starter potty... that is another option that has worked with our daughter.

I would be a little more open to opinions as I believe there is no one method to make a child #2 in the toilet.

HTH,
T.

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While I understand your frustration (just went thru this a year ago also with a newborn in tow), opinions and guesses are really what you are going to get because every child is very different and what works for one child does nothing for another. You will have to try different avenues to see what clicks for him and he has to be ready to complete potty training. It is very typical for children to sneak away to have a bowel movement. First lose the diapers and here are the two things that worked with my son were bare bottom around the house (and yes, there were some messes but only a couple) as the child is so much more aware of their body and creating a "treasure box"-a small plastic bin with a lid that I filled with small things from the Dollar Store. Every time he went #2 in the potty he got to pick a treasure. It was a great incentive for him. Things like charts and stickers did nothing with him but picking a prize worked like a charm. Once he saw what was inside it was a motivator to try hard so he could pick another goodie.

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Tried and true, not an opinion, you need to stop using diapers. Diapers for a three year old is simply a "crutch" for him and as long as you use them, you are giving him permission to use them as needed. I potty trained all three of my children by removing their diapers and have them run around naked around the house. Yes, it took a few weeks of being "tied" to the house but eventually they learned. My two daughters were potty trained (pee and poop) before their second birthday. My youngest, a boy, is 2 years and 9 months old and fully potty trained (day and night). He tells me he has to go and he goes on the toilet...no hiding, no diapers. He wears pull ups as underpants due to the fact that he is so young and so little, I cannot find cotton underpants that fit him. One pair of pull ups lasts for a week (they tend to fall apart due to daily on and off, running around, etc). No joking...you need stop using the diapers. He is three you say? My son will be 3 in July and he fully understands when he has to potty and where it needs to go. I can't tell you when I changed his last poopy diaper, it's been that long. Tell your son the diaper fairy is coming to take the diapers away and now that he's a big boy, he must put his poopy in the toilet. Reward him with something nutritious for a job well done. I used Gerber fruit snacks...they are little gummy treats made with fruit juice and I gave one treat (not one bag) for each visit to the toilet (only if they actually did something). Good luck!

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Hi P.- No one can give you a guarantee that something will work, because all children are different. However, my son wanted privacy too, so I put his potty in his closet. He liked the feeling of being hidden and it only took me a week or so after he got down doing #2 on the potty to get the potty in the bathroom. You may try the closet, with his diaper on, sitting on the potty first. Try asking him if there is anything you can do to make him more comfortable. Then suggest putting the potty in his closet in his room just to sit on while he does #2 in his diaper. You could also try taking off his diaper while you are home, chances are he will not poop on the floor. I like the gentle method better, but some people swear by the naked method. Problem with it is sometimes they wont go at all and then get constipated. Remember if whatever you do works or not, the light at the end of the tunnel is there. It wont be long now. Good luck.

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While I have two boys of my own and they are now 10 and 8 yrs old, but when we were toilet training we made it where they would have this chart with star or smiley faces and if they filled up the chart for the whole week they would receive a prize from a goody bag of course just something little, and if dads in the picture each time he went they went with him or you could try to make they use the toilet every 20 to 30 mins even if they don't have to go just to get them use to the idea and soon they would just go and if it's peeing problems we filled the toilet with cheerios( only a coulpe) and they just aim for they but please put the box up cause one day they got to it and my toilet was filled with a box of cereal, and try not to get upset with them cause it only makes them more scared of the idea like they did something wrong, and if they gotta go and you know they are about to hide pick them up right away and place them on the toilet. Hope one of these will help you, Best of Luck.R.

I was told about a trick ,if you put a toilet tab or food coloring in toilet the color will swirl and change when child poops or pee's ,or take a stuff animal and put cape on it and tell child it's super whatever animal it is and tell them they can wear cape if they poop someone I did that and it worked .my child liked for me to read to him and when I saw he was hidding to go I put him on potty and told him that big boys poop on the potty he was big on being a big boy so that worked for me .

the reward system worked for my oldest...he got a sticker to put on a chart (maybe 12 spaces to fill) for every time he went potty. And when the chart was filled, he was rewarded with the toy of his choice. Depends on the nature of your child and and how he/she can process this new development. And it's his responsibility to go to the toilet after achieving this goal...Make it a fun event! Blessings

Sweetie, take him OUT of diapers! At 3 years of age, he is old enough to stand him over in the bathtub or shower, let him pull off his dirty pants by himself and wash them out. I've never had one who wasn't trained after that. lol BE SURE TO STAY IN THE BATHROOM AND GUIDE HIM WITH VERBAL INSTRUCTIONS.

HI P.

I had the same problem with my son when we were potty training. What we did with my son is sat him on the toilet with his feet resting on a step stool. My mother in law told me this, she said she read it somewhere. In the article it said it was easier for the child to have there legs elevated it helped them poop easier. Then at the same time we would read a book to him. Then before you know it he would poop in the potty. This is one of many suggestions that are given to you. I would try each one to see what works for your son. Like alot have said every child is different. My girlfriend tried the naked approch and it worked for her son.

Good Luck
C. :)

Hello P.,
My son is now 4 and he was potty trained 100% after his 3rd birthday.

First what I did was got rid of all the pull ups, he only wore undies. Then when he had an accident, I made him clean it up himself. My son hated that! Then when he did #2 on himself,I made him clean it up with his bare hands, then he had to get hosed down in the shower. My son HATES showers...so this served two purposes, he hated touching his own feces and he hates being hosed down. He has not had an accident since.

This worked for me, I don't know if this would work for you, but give it a try.

Boys are notoriously more difficult to potty train, so try not to get too frustrated. what also helped was to have a potty trained friend over (same age as your son) and have your son see how great and wonderful his friend is for using the potty. This also helped my son see how much praise his friend was getting and how 'big boy' it is to go on the potty all by himself.

Good Luck!

I used a special treat that was given ONLY after sucess on the potty.
Are his bowel movements hard? Discomfort may be why he hides.

Good Luck and God Bless, M.

Men need reading material in the bathroom... regardless of age in my house!! My husband has always been that way and my mom is actually the one who first brought a book into the bathroom when she was here visiting and helping to potty train my son who was ~18-19 months at the time (now 2 1/2). He's 100% poopy trained. Every morning when he changes out of his pjs and sits on the toilet, grab a book or magazine... sit on a stool in there with him with your coffee and read to him, or let him read to you, or my son's current favorite- the hidden pictures page in the childrens' "High Five" magazine (Highlights for toddlers).

The key I think is to be patient while he's on the toilet--give him all the time he needs, huge positive reinforcement/praise while he's starting to figure it out, and give him plenty of opportunity.

I will tell you that my son did regress after it appeared he'd gotten the hang of it and stopped wanting to go to the bathroom when I'd ask him and would kick and scream if I tried to drag him... it was rough. Be patient, stick with it, and go at his pace.

Oh and the other thing... since he goes to a quiet place and hides, you may want to ask him when you've got him on the potty if he would like his "privacy"...if he'd prefer you leave and just come back when he calls you... Whenever my son walks in on his dad going #2, dad often tells him to please get out because he needs his privacy... My son would then copy that sometimes and tell me he needed his "privacy" to do his business. More often than not, he wants me to stay and read with him though. But each kid is different. GOOD LUCK!!

My oldest son was terrified of pooping in the toilet when we potty trained him. He would literally run around screaming and even pooped on the floor once. We took him completely out of the diapers and just bought him his favorite character underwear because he was great with the potty only. so, he pooped in his underwear a couple of times and we made a huge deal about having to throw away the underwear because it was too yucky. He hated to see his Thomas underwear being thrown away so he decided to try going poop in the toilet. We used a reward chart and after he went poop in the toilet 5 times he got a Thomas train. we set the train on a shelf in the bathroom so he could see it and had boxes in the chart with a Thomas sticker for the 5th time. It worked like a charm! I know we tried a little of everything but it all seemed to work. Our son was very stubborn and we had to make it appealing enough for him to overcome his fear. Good Luck!

Hi P.,

I wanted you to know that your definitely not alone. I'm going through the SAME EXACT scenario right now.. My son is 2.5, 100% pee pee trained, 0% poopy trained, and knows when he has to go # 2. He is in big boy undies all day (even his nap) and when he has to go #2 he tells me that he wants his diaper on. I've tried COUNTLESS times to get him to go # 2 on the potty (only worked about 3 times) and then I give up, put him in a diaper and he goes and hides instantly.
I have no suggestions, just wanted you to know I'm dealing with the same thing. I'm looking forward to your responses...
GOOD LUCK

I literally just ended this battle with my son about 3 weeks ago. He did great learning to go pee, but poop was awful. I think it took about 4-5 weeks for him to do it in the toilet and last weekend he finally did it in a toilet that was not inside our house!!! yippee! It will happen, even though it does not feel like it!

My son is very reward driven, so we had pooh-pooh prizes. I put one prize in a fancy bag with tissue paper and lined up the four pooh-pooh prizes on the top of a very high cabinet that was very visible in the house. We talked about those prizes all the time and he even created a plan of which one he would open first. After about week 3 of him pooping in her underwear (roar... that was no fun), he lost some momentum with the poop-poop prize so I let him peek into the first prize (which was a set of watercolors). He was so excited that it was not long before he did it in the toilet. The day before he finally did it in the toilet, I committed the entire day of having him on the small potty... he was allowed to watch TV sitting on it, we did art projects on it, we ate snacks... everything I vowed I would never do... I was desperate... He did not go poop all day... Then the next day he walked in and pooped on the toilet and he got his watercolors. However, the next day after that he pooped in his pants and the watercolors were put away in a visible place again until he pooped again in the toilet.

But everyone is right... EVERY SINGLE CHILD IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Good luck and hang in there. Once it finally happens (and I bet it will be sooner than you think), it is all worth it!!!

Take a deep breath and remember you only have to potty train this child once!
D.

Once he begins to go, some one suggested a reward chart and once he fills a certain number of spots, he gets to trade in his diaper bag for a cool big boy backpack. Seems like a good idea.