Toilet Training

Well, just so you know, you aren't alone in this. Boys are much harder to potty train than girls. They are slower at catching on. As a former preschool teacher trying to help parents with this, there are a few ways that you can do it. You may have already tried them, but here we go. You can do the rewards program. Have a large, clear jar of his favorite candy/snack sitting on the back of the potty. Each time he goes #1 in the potty, he gets 1, each time he goes #2, give him 2 or 3. Also, boys are competitive by nature. Through a cherrio or something in the potty for him to aim at. Usually the cherrios work a little better because they aim at the hole and have fun getting it. (Hopefully his favorite candy/snack isn't cherrios and he tries to eat the cherrio he was aiming at! LOL). Also, after he goes for the first time in the morning, about every 2 hours start asking him if he has to go potty. Take him into the bathroom and sit him on the potty for about 10 min after the first 2 hours because by then he should be ready to have #2 if he hasn't already. Sometimes it is just the getting used to sitting on the potty before they really get the hang of it. I have known many of the students that I worked with that had a hard time doing #2 in the potty, (MOST of them were boys). They do what they are comfortable with and some have to be in their comfort zone to even go #2. I don't know how much help that was, but I hope that you get the chance to put him into the Montessori school. They are wonderful schools to start in. Don't worry, you aren't the only one out there with this concern. Boys take a little more time.

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One of the big things I learned from the teachers at my children's preschool was you have to go cold turkey on diapers and pull-ups. The pull-ups don't work because they are a safety net and the children know that. Although it is a bigger mess for you, you need to buy a whole bunch of training pants (thicker for absorbancy), gerber has some and go for it. Then use rewards everytime he goes potty by himself on the toilet. The school used to use smiley face stamps and my son would come home with lots up and down his arms...he was so proud. Good luck.

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Have you ever tried putting liquid soap in the toilet water....little boys can make 'bubbles' when they tee tee or you can put cheerios for them to 'target shoot'. the cheerios do become really soft and flush without clogging the toilet. Make it a fun experience. #2....putting on toilet 30 minutes after meals (or when you notice the time frame when he does have to go after meals) and try giving a book to read or make a chart to put his favorite stickers on whenever he does go on the toilet as a reward. Always praise him and tell him what a big boy he is...there will be accidents....DON'T scold him. He is learning and praising always outbeats negative responses. Hope this helps in some way.

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I would have him sit on the toilet every 30 mins. Sometimes you get lucky and they unexpectedly poop while they're there. Then he can experience the feeling of pooping on the potty rather than his pants. I set my kitchen timer so I wouldn't get distracted. I cheerfully called out "Tinkle Time"! Each time my son pottied successfully we sang "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" which he wanted us to continue even after he was trained. LOL Some say to let the boy stand to urinate, but when they are first learning who knows if they's switch gears and start pooping while standing? Let them get the routine of both kinds of pottying down before they transition to standing. I babysat 5 2yr old boys at one time. The "all for one and one for all" tinkle team encouraged the slowest learners. Good luck! ps. For SURE underwear, not diapers or pullups except nap or night.

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When I potty trained my son I got some potty targets. They are little paper targets you put on in the potty and aim for them. He loved it. I got them off the internet. We also gave no shame at when nature called we went anywhere. Of course not in public. But if we were in the backyard we went behind the tree or shed. anything to avoid the pants. I only let him wear overnites at night, no diapers or trainers during the day. The wet feeling on him seemed to help. Go to the store, pick out some big boys undies he wants and go for it. Also you could try a chart for awards. #2 in the potty for a week and he gets a special trip to the ice cream shop or a small toy award. These things worked for my son. And be sure to ask alot if he needs to go, you should know your son's basic body schedule, keep that in mind also. Good luck.

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Let him go naked! It makes you both more aware of when he needs to go to the potty. You will have a couple of accidents but there is no way around that (if there is let me know before I train little boy number 2 next year).

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Hi. I have 4 male Godsons in their 20's and early 30's and a 16yr old. As your child is an only child (with no older sibling showing the way) and being less than 3 years of age, it is not probable, especially not likely, that your son will be fully potty trained within the timeframe you want. It is a big milestone for young children, and it takes the time it takes. Your agenda for a spot in the preschool and the pressure you feel to have it done in their time frame will not assist him to accomplish the process of allowing himself to "let go" of his bms into the potty or toilet.
Dt T Berry Brazelton, in his books, Touchpoints 0-3 and Toilet Training the Brazelton Way, has much wisdom to share and coaching for parents regarding toileting.
Dr Phil offers a 24hour training process, and I could send that to you to see if that would work in your child's case.
Let me know if you want it. Send your email address and I'll send it.

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Put cherrios in the toilet... its target practice and it makes things fun! Have him try to sink the cherrios. Good luck!

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The fastest way is to take off the dippers and put underwear on him, make sure you have him sit on the potty every 30 minutes. I have 3 boys and this is what worked the best for me, if you can really focus on him it should take about 1 week.
He will have accidents (so I would stay off the carpe), but this helps him to see that he is supposed to go on the potty, I would only do this if you can give him you full attention so you can see when he is about to go, & I would still put dippers on him when you go out just till you are sure he has the gang of it. And of cores always LOTS of praise every time he goes in the potty even if it’s only a few drops.

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I am currently training my 4th boy, 5th child. He is only 20 mos old, but he WANTED to!! My oldest son was 3 1/2 and barely trained. Do NOT use pull-ups at all, only underwear. I teach my boys to sit always. It is a lot easier. Then they don't have to distinguish btwn pee or poo. It all goes in! I also have let them go naked at home. It really helped my oldest ds go in the potty. Suddenly there was nothing to catch it and he wanted to go on the potty! At night, my little guy sleeps in the same undies he does in the day. I found some really great training pants that are very absorbent and have vinyl on the outside. They barely leak at all. When I remember the website, I will post it.

Blessings,
M.
Mom to 5 Wonderful Kids
www.4MyChildrenSake.com

My son had a hard time learning to potty train. I bought him a special toy and book for when he had to go only. This was incentive to use the potty. the seek and find flap book was for poopy only. It worked for me...

I can remember my 2 1/2 year old being afraid to go #2 - he was afraid of losing a part of himself down the toilet --I too was trying to get him ready for Montessori - and so we visited the school and he saw how much fun it was going to be and we talked about how big boys get to go and they must be potty trained - and we bought him some special underwear - the ones with cartoon characters on them -- he loved them so much I have a picture of him coming downstairs with every single pair on!!! But - it will come - just be consistent - having a goal of being a big boy and going to school is a good - take a picture of him outside of his new school -- reward his efforts -- clean up without being angry or fussy -- lets face it children's sphincter muscles mature at different rates - and 2 1/2 is still young - to always have control. Be patient - and encourage his efforts - praise - he will rise to the occassion!! Once mine saw his new school and all the fun there, he was ready! good luck!

Hello. I am not sure about a male toodler. My daughter is also two and a half. We just finished up potty training. I used suckers. I put them in the holes of the shower curtain so she could see they were up there. I explained if she went potty on the toilet she would get one. This was enough for her to go on the potty. I dont know if this will work for you but after a couple of days she had it.

It's probably not what you want to hear, but you probably should lay off on pushing the toilet thing. My oldest didn't potty train until about a month after he turned 3, and then it didn't take any time at all, but we had a lot of frustration until I decided to leave it alone until he was ready. I had tried letting him go around naked and put him on the potty if he showed signs of being ready to pee on the floor (a method a friend with 3 boys swore worked in one weekend); my son would scream for 5 minutes that "my pee-pee won't come out" and then pee on the floor the second he was off the toilet. I also tried bribery (with both candy and trains--he was a HUGE Thomas fan), and the cheerios in the toilet for target practice. After I left it alone for awhile, he started to pee in the bathtub one night and I said excitedly, "Ooh, let's go pee-pee on the potty," and he did, and he was potty trained--hardly any accidents after that. He did, however, ask for a diaper when he needed to go poo-poo, as it took another couple of months to go poo-poo on the potty, but he still has poo-poo issues to this day (he's 6 now). We used sticker charts to help that along, which worked really well.

All of that said, I also saw a really cute "potty caddy" set in a magazine. Here's the link to it on amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Caddy-Rachel-Gordon/dp/076114.... Unfortunately, I just read that it won't be out until the beginning of August, but if you still need it then...

Anyway, my best advice for potty training is not to stress about it and to wait until the kid is absolutely ready. When the kid is ready, potty training is super easy, but it can cause a lot of frustration for both parent and kid when he/she isn't, and I just don't know that it is worth that frustration to push it, even with the deadline of 4 1/2 months. Hang in there. As a friend of mine said, no kid graduates from high school still wearing diapers. :)

I know it can be frustrating, and the only thing I can say is be consistent, and when he's ready it will happen. I am concerned about a preschool having that sort of policy--especially a Montessori which is supposed to be "kid led in learning" correct? If they are not going to be flexible, maybe look into other preschools and start Montessori later. Everyone who has boys says it can take a little longer...

I am sure you tried these methods, but maybe not....timers, having him go when you have to....no diapers or pull ups...gosh there are a million ways to try, but the more you stress, the more he will pick up on it and it will take longer. good luck

get the No Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. BEST BOOK on toilet training! It has a quiz to see if you and/or your child is really ready to potty train and, if you are, to see what stage you're both in. Also, it takes time. I would say it took my 3yrd old girl about 6 months to really 'get it'. I hear boys take longer. Just remember, you don't see too many 10 yr olds still wearing diapers. It will happen!

M.,
there is only one way to potty train a child and that is to be constant ,when he gets up in the morning put him on his potty praise him when he pottys,then every 45minutes to and hour take him back to his potty ,give some of his favorite books there and read to him till he goes potty ,you may give him a small reward for using his potty grapes raisans ,but always lots of praise and what a big boy you are with in 3 or 4 days you will have a potty trained boy ready for school if it even takes that long long 1 of my sons was potty trained in 2 days
good luck be consestant
L.

welcome to the world of boys. It could be that he is not fully ready yet. I started potty training my 2 1/2 year old son in February. It is June now and he has just started telling me when he has to go to the potty. Otherwise we were taking him to the potty every 30 minutes to an hour. I agree with the underwear thing. We did this and had to clean up several messes but try not to pressure him. I am sure he will get it by October.

I have a 2 yr old and have put the action into his brain, but he does not want to and screams at me and tells me no...I put the potty chair out when he was 18 months, got him a video tape, and he is still not wanting to... congrats on the progress so far, you are doing great and I always ask everyone I know for any pointers..He has started telling pee or poo bye bye as they go down the toilet and he ties to "assist" the men in my family to go potty...You sound like you are on the right track, but I understand your urgentcy...I hear cherrios to aim and rewardsor stickers and fruity candy or snacks helps..

Good luck from one potty trainer to another

Your son has to be ready to potty train or nothing will work. I have an autistic child, so potty training took a lot longer than most kids. For him, we went straight to underwear while he was awake. We took him to the potty every 45 minutes. If he had an accident, then we cut it back to 30 minutes. We went through a lot of clothes. He got better. I added stickers to increase success. He got BIG stickers for poopy and just little ones for tinkle.
The down side of letting them run naked is you run the risk of them prefering to be naked.
My mother-in-law suggested aiming at things in the backyard.
Good luck.

Mellissa,

I have found that using regular underwear works better than the pull up diaper pants. He can feel when he goes. There is also a little urinal just for little boys which may make going more fun. Also you could try getting him on a schedule go potty when he wakes up then every hour or two, then before nap and before bed time. This may help too. Make sure he drinks plenty so that his poopy is not hard. You could make up a potty song or give him a special book to "read" while he is going. I think that's everything I used on my boys (one is still in training).
M. K

Boys are so different... I have two girls and then a boy. My first trained herself, my second wasn't trained until she was 5, and my son just decided one day when he was almost 3 that he was going to use the potty from now on. All kids are different and have their own time. The pediatrician always told me to let them do it on their own time. The more you push the more they ignore. And many can't even "feel" when they need to go yet. Even at 15, 12, and 7, I'm beginning to think that the sound of the car starting makes them suddenly need to go!!!!! (even though I asked before we left if anyone needs to go...)
I like the idea of showing him the school and that they all wear big boy pants. If you have the patience, you can do what I did with my first one. I let her run naked. After she urinated on herself once, that was it. I had a potty chair with books for her and would catch her just sitting in there reading and singing, not even when she was going!!!!

Have you tryed taking off about a week, even if you don't work. Its easier when you put off everything outside the house and just take a week to be stay at home and to be consistant. I find its always easier to start with no. 2 also they seem to grasp no. 1 easier. Also you may want to wait till you hear clues that he is ready. When they can talk to you about it then they should be ready.

I used special tiger/zebra striped gum...that had little tatoos on the wrappers....I think he was ready and just needed a little bribery to get over the edge....he is 15 yrs. now and all good to go...J.D.

I'm not sure if you are using diapers, pull ups, etc... However, my two boys were easy to train at age 2 when it was obvious they were ready (and it did take longer for poo than pee), and I recommend the following...

1. Thick training underwear (in the baby aisle, they come 3 to a pack). Very think cotton, not "big kid" underwear.
2. Wear it all the time. Never go to diapers or pull ups, no matter how inconvenient it is for you. So, take multiple changes of clothes with you when you go out.
3. Take him to the potty very frequently.
4. If/when he has an accident. No big deal. Just put him on the potty and clean it up. There will be accidents, but it will be short lived.
5. If he poos in the pants, make sure he sees you putting it into the potty
6. I'm sure you are reading some sort of potty book, but that helps
7. Make it low pressure and high praise.
Keep in mind, night make take a long time just because of bladder development, but this worked for me during the day once they showed the potty readiness signs! Good Luck!!!

Hi M.,

There are some videos out there that really helped us -- I forget what they were called, but I'm sure they would all be in the same place in any bookstore or child-stuff outlet. And in fact, we will be back in Houston in late July, so if you live anywhere inside the loop or near the loop and are still looking for resources in late July, drop me a note and you can have all our potty training stuff. Good luck!

M.

I am currently training my 3 yo twins, one of which is a boy.

I put the toilet in the front room as while it was in the bathroom they wanted to just play and get into things they didn't belong in...I bought pull ups for them and let them have their way...When the "leak" or if they are wearing regular underwear and pee all over I have them help clean it up...a process made more difficult since there are two and one inevitably walks through the mess before the necessary clean up tools are all gathered...

It took a couple of months but the promise of a treat if they used it eventually worked...actually my son is the more reliable of the two...But he only sometimes poops on it. I have noticed he does much better when he is wearing regular underwear now that he goes pee fairly regularly... I even bough them one of the seat things that allows them to use the Big peoples toilet...they are now occasionally going in the big toilet now too... I figure another month maybe two and they should be trained..

Good Luck... ;-)

Boys are hard to potty train and I have three of them. My first two were twins and were the hardest to train. My youngest trained just before turning 3 years. I finally figured out if I made it fun, then it would take faster. We started out sitting down to pee. I told him to sit on the potty and leave his pee and he could have a new hot wheels. I would reward him with inexpensive toys or with special treament. It was touch and go for about 10-12 weeks and then voila! he suddenly became a "big boy" and didn't need diapers anymore. I cheered him on at every turn... telling him how proud I was of my BIG BOY. When he was ready to pee like his older brothers and daddy, then I just taught him to aim for the cave (the whole in the bottom of the bowl). He would roar with laughter everytime I said, "shoot for the cave!" Keep it positive and creative and he'll join the Big Boy Unit in no time.

Best wishes.
~S.

Hi. What worked for me is taking my kids to the bathroom every hour throughout the day, even if they didn't want to go. I had to hold my kids in place while they pooped because pooping is harder than peeing and they seemed to want to give up the first day or two when it came to pooping, but eventually they will have to go and if you run them over to the potty when it looks like they have to go, they'll have no choice because the poop will be coming out. Also,if you haven't done this yet, buy him the big kid underwear and emphasize that it's for big boys and let him know that he's your big boy now. Also respond with lots of joy and praise him for a job well done when he does go #2. I hope this helps.

I work in many montessori schools (and both my kids went to Montessori schools until the age of 5),and here is how they (their respective schools-and they went to diff.one when they were toddlers).
They time the training.the child will be in underwear,no pullups or diapers.
Every 10 minutes they will take the child potty.
I used this method at home for both my son and daughter.
My son was easier to potty train than my daughter.
AT home I used a timer.(a portable dinging one that can be carried from place to place)
I would set the timer for 10 min. and when it rang I would take my child potty. we would wait a few minutes ,then get off.
Reset the timer for 10 min. and repeat the process.
MY son was trained in 2 weeks.
Be consistent and buy lots of underwear.
Tell your son what you are doing and that when he hears the timer ring that means it is time to go potty.
NO diapers or pullups (except at bed.)
Trust me it works.
Good LUck and i hope he enjoys MOntessori as much as my kids did!

Once my son had the general idea about the potty, it only took me being motivated to get it going. I was due to have another one and didn't want 2 kids in diapers. We bought big boy underwear and I took him in every 45 minutes or so. We had a step stool so he could get on the potty on his own and started with him sitting. It took about 3 days of being consistent with this for it to catch on well and even then there were still occasional accidents but mainly it was about me being consistent. We did keep a jar of jelly beans in the bathroom up on the cabinet and when he went he would get a couple. We still let him sleep in diapers but throughout the day only underwear. Hope you find a method that works for you.

I'm no lawyer, but when I was looking at preschools a four years ago a director told me that it's not really legal to ban a child from the school because he's not potty trained. Something about the Americans with Disabilities Act. So if all else fails, I would just tell the school your working on it. What helped with potty training my son was first:
(and I know it's "poor" parenting)bribing with chocolate chips. two for pooping in the potty one for peeing in the potty

second:
bribing/encouraging/rewarding with stickers on a chart. there was fun stuff to print out at the huggies website.

three:
bribing with stickers for him to put on his clothes

and then I just told him the diapers are going away in two weeks, ten days, etc. We had four really trying days and then he rarely had an accident after that.

In general, if he's not ready, I would not push him for the sake of school. There are a lot of great schools in town that are more flexible when it comes to potty training

My daughter would not go in the potty, she would sit on it, but then nothing... She got scared the first couple of times she went in the potty, so then she would not go.
What worked for her is to get rid of the diapers : no more diaper, no more safety net (we have tile floors, so it was feasible for us). I also gave her graduate juicers as a reward , I dont know if it helped at all, but after we got rid of the diapers, she learned in just a few days.

I hope this helps

A.

Sounds strange but it worked, seeing is believing. Let Dad be an example. He may not be happy with this but it will work. Be sure and have a small stool for your son. Hight helps. Good Luck.

we have been having the same problem with our 2 1/2 year old. I have friends that say make him go with out a diaper or pull up. I have not been able to bring myself to do that just yet, as we have carpet.

In April I decided that my 2 1/2 year old knew enough about the goings on in the bathroom to begin potty training. My real motivation was to get him out of diapers well before the arrival of his brother in September.

I asked the advice of a mom w/ twin 4 year old boys. She said that when they were physiologically ready (I think they were 3), she just told them no more diapers (except bedtime). She said she had a suitcase of clothes to have for accidents. She said that there were lots of accidents.

So I just went "cold turkey". If we were home together, he was often pants-less or in just underpants. As it turns out, the inconvenience of stopping EVERYTHING and having to go inside and change from head to toe was greatest motivation. He would cry at the thought of stopping an activity. I didn't make a big deal out of the accidents, but the changing of the clothes and cleaning up was a big deal. I'd say, "that's okay, we're learning, accidents happen. next time we'll try to make it to the potty". We also had a weekly chart and he would get a little sticker for pee and a big sticker for #2.

It took about a week and a half for peeing and almost a month for #2. I told him that if he had 3 days in a row w/ no accidents (pee accidents) that he could have a pinjata. We had a very small celebration w/ cupcakes and a t-rex pinjata. (and our friends brought underpants!)

Good luck.

M.,
It tends to take a long time with boys. Mostly because they pee standing up so it's hard to get them to have patience enough to do ALL their business. Some good suggestions that have heard, seen and done are...take him to the potty alot! Be very consistant. Reward him when done. Set a boundry with him - he is old enough to understand - say things like "you are going to go potty on the big boy toilet. You will not go in your pants anymore - big boys don't do that." Also, with number 2, when he goes in his pull-ups, take them off, bring him and the poop to the toilet, explain to him that the toilet is where the poop goes. Drop the poop into the toilet, let him see it, tell him to flush it and waive "bye-bye"! Then explain to him that he should put the poop there straight from his butt and he does not need "the middle man"!
I worked in a pre-school and have two boys of my own. It is hard work, but he will suddenly get it. If you aren't already, he should where underpants. Let him get wet, then give him a little scolding. Not harsh - gentle, but let him know that was incorrect.
Good luck - I feel for you! I will say a little prayer.
D.

First, a lot can happen between now and October. You will have a different child in 4.5 months.

Keep it low key, and don't stress out about it. He will pick up on that. We kept the potty in the living room with my oldest and kept him naked at home. He would go sit on it with little reminder and pee and poop. I will say, that my son was more than ready when we potty trained him. He hated being wet and dirty and made the job very easy.

You can try a reward for peeing and pooping in the potty. Stickers, marshmallows, a small toy basket, whatever will work for him.

I hate to say it.. but my husband was fully potty trained by 16 months old, because my mother in law bribed him with m&ms. I hate the idea of bribing, but it might work if you give him a "reward" for going potty. :)

Downside, you might end up having to keep m&ms in the bathroom till he moves out! lol

Take him in to the potty on a regular basis to sit and read a short book, make it a positive experience with one on one time, some of the stores have little seats that fit right over the toilet for toddlers or you can buy their own potty chair that sits in the bathroom and have daddy take him.

M.
Do you have any friends with children of the same age?
If so and they are trained, ask your friends if the could help out by letting your son watch their children using the potty and receiving praise afterwards. They will have to be children or cousins whom your child is comfortable with and can play with.
There is also a potty you can buy which sings out a reward when used.
Empty his #2 from his pullups into the potty afterwards and let him see, then tell him what a good boy he is for using the potty even if he has not actually used it per se.
Jewel

Give up pull-ups or diapers except for sleeping and go straight to underwear. There will be a lot of messes in the beginning, but it was the key to my little one getting the idea about being wet. As for poop, well no suggestions here my little one is still struggling with that one.

The other big help for us was teaching our son to pee while standing, he loves it.