Toddlers Waking up in the Middle of the Night Crying

The same thing happened to me when my twins had just turned 2. We went to Florida and they slept with us. When we cam home it was hard to get them used to their cribs again. It took a few night but I just had to suck it up and keep going in and putting them back down, or calm them down when they were crying. It was hard but worth the few nights of torture ;) It felt like an episode of Super Nanny!!! Maybe you can do it over a weekend this way you can rest a little during the day or when they nap. If you and your husband both have weekends off maybe you can take turns...he gets up one night and gets to sleep late the next day and the next night you get up and sleep late the next day. Unfortunately I think you just have to do it. It will be tough but in a few nights you'll at least have your bed back and will be able to sleep from that point on. Good luck.

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My daughter who is now 3 would do the same thing. What works for us is reading a book and singing a song. I know that sounds so simple but it works most nights. We also pray right before bedtime. My son who is 5 does the same thing some nights but what helps is giving him a kiss on the palm of his hand and telling him that if he feels scared or misses us he can put his hand up to his cheek and feel our kisses, He actually came home after his first day of and told us about a story: The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn is a wonderful tale of a mother raccoon reassuring her baby that he will have a great night at school and that the kiss she leaves on his hand will warm his heart whenever he presses it to his cheek. This story has helped a lot. I will keep you in my prayers, because I remember those days where there would be 4 of us trying to sleep in the same bed...Maybe even cool new big girl/boy bedsheets could do the trick.

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C.,
You might windup with what you've got - a baby per parent and sleeping that way. It's fine, if you are comfortable that way.

Given the situation, and your toddlers now know the safety and security of sleeping with you - if you can't handle them in the bed, then you've got to find what works for you. CIO only lands you with children who are confused as to why you won't see to their needs, and they learn not to trust you, and more..

Attachment Parenting International's site has suggestions for getting your baby into their own space, but it takes time, it's not instant.

Any questions feel free to email me,
Good luck,
M.

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I can understand w/ working full time the difficulties in helping them adjust or readjust to sleeping on their own. TO help get them back to sleeping on their own you may want to have them go into a toddler bed- they are small/ low to the ground and they are 2.5 yrs old so would be age appropriate. You could have the beds in your room if you have the room there and that way they could have you nearby and so possibly start to sleep on their own again in a gradual way. Otherwise you may want to pick a long weekend if you & your spouse have them together to plan on using that time to get them back into their own beds/ or start in the toddler beds then. You would want likely a gate up in that case at their door (provided they don't climb over the gate) as they will be more able to walk out of their rooms w/ the toddler beds. THis is why it may be better to have the beds in your room for now w/ a gate at your door perhaps. Good Luck :)

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talk about it ALOT during the day make a calender with them and put stickers on it everyday they sleep in their bed and reward them after 3, 5 , stickers. Changing to big boy girl beds helps too if they are in to thinking of themselves as big boys and girls. Just be firm and dont give in, i know its hard when u just want to get some sleep but if you sit in their room with them until they fall asleep it wont take too long and youll have the rest of the night to sleep peacefully. Make sure to make a huge deal when they do sleep in their beds and talk alot about how proud you are that they are trying to do it even if theyre not, they will probably start just to impress you further. Dont worry it gets a little easier as long as you stay firm and dont give in. good luck

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Have you tried staying in the room in a chair while they are falling asleep? Each night move the chair closer to the door until you are out of the room completely. It may take a week or so to get them back on track but maybe if they see you are in the room they will stay in their beds. The big kid beds may work but I would put a safety gate in the doorway so they don't leave the room and wander the house. Maybe if you take them to the store and have them pick out their own bedding, make a big fuss about it they may like it better. It could also make it easier for them to keep getting up. I think it is a gamble you have to be willing to take. Since you and your husband work full-time I would try it on the weekend when you have more time to work with them. Good luck I hope you get some sleep soon!!

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Hi C..

I think new big-kid beds are a great idea. Our son slept with us for a while and when he got to big for us to all have a good nights sleep we got him a trundle bed. We lie with him while he falls asleep. Its comfortable for us, even when he's not feeling well and we stay the entire night. He absolutely loves his big-boy beds. It was the best thing I ever did.

Good luck,
R.

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When my daughter started getting out of her bed at naptime (she still needed naps at that time), we did the routine of gradually moving from her room (bedtime was never an issue). It took about a week, and you have to be consitant, but it works. Do your normal bedtime routine ie. book, song, and good nights. The first time, lie down or sit near/on their beds until they are asleep... but don't say a word or engage with them in any way. Gradually move yourself from the room each night...
At night, when we put my daughter to bed, she always wants us to "sleep with her for one minute"... so we lie down with her with the lights off for a minute or so, and then leave... this works for her... maybe after they get back into the routine of sleeping in their beds and staying there, you could let them have just a minute of snuggle time.

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Perhaps transitioning them to "big" boy/girl beds NOW, will help. My children are 2 1/2 and 3 (will turn 4 in dec). My 3yr old was in the bed w/ us since he was a baby. We heard horror stories about transitioning kids to big kid beds and because he was used to sleeping in our bed we expected the worse. They too share a room now. Turns out they were thrilled with their beds and and especially their theme bedding. We emphasized how now they are big boy/girl and they need to sleep by themselves (especially he). He still asks to come to our bed but we dont give in and you are right, if he wakes up in the middle of the night and fusses too much/long time, I simply get in the bed w/ him until he falls back asleep. However he is not allowed back in our bed anymore. I hope it all works out. We work full time as well. Good luck!!

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I doubt putting them in big girl beds is going to solve the problem. In fact, it will probably make it worse. They will be able to get out of bed by their self and crawl in your bed without having to even wake you up. Sure it will be easier for you to lay down with them in big girl beds so they sleep thru the night. But unless you want to spend EVERY night in their beds, I wouldn't do that either. They don't care where they sleep (in your bed, on the couch, in big girl beds, or on the floor in the living room), as long as they sleep with you. This is the habit you have to break. When you put them to bed, tell them they can not come in your bed. They are not babies anymore. You can talk to them and teach them things now. If they do come to your bed, take them back to their own beds and tell them again to stay there and to go to sleep. Then leave the room. It will take time to break this habit, but keep working on it. You may lose a few hours sleep, but in the long run you will all be better off.

Kids are very smart and you taught them a new trick. If they cry in the night they get to sleep with mommy & daddy. Wait till you have a day off and then teach them that if they cry in the night they will have consequences.
Put them to bed and warn them that they absolutely will NOT sleep in your bed no matter how hard they cry. Then tell them if they cry you will take something away from them. If they sleep with a stuffed animal or favorite blanket or night light or whatever. Then when they cry, they will, get up and tell them again to stop or you will take the whatever away. They wont stop, so you MUST take the whatever away. They need to unlearn what you have taught them and yes, it WILL be painful for them and you. Turn on the radio to drown out their cries and try to sleep. Do NOT go back into their room. I realize that perhaps only one twin will cry first, so wait till the other one starts before you go in and warn them. The next night repeat the warning and the consequence. They will learn quick that you mean what you say.
Parents teach kids to cry so easily, but its hard to teach them not to cry. The first time they scream for candy or a toy in the store and mom gives in because she is embarrassed she is teaching them that crying works.