Toddler's Fear of Swimming

This is going to sound odd.....but were the lessons indoors? My son has a very hard time handling indoor pools at the YMCA and hotels...because of the overwhelming echoing...it really upsets him. Tears, tremors, hysterical...I thought he was scared of the water, but when we went to an outdoor pool and the ocean, he was fine.

It is normal for him to have a fear of water. Both my kids started swimming lessons at a very early age (one around 2 and the other one at 1). Both of them were terrified at the beginning. It took them a while to get used to be in the water where, really, they have almost no control.
He will come around evetually. I was reading an article where Michael Phelps was saying that he was scared of the water when he was young,,and look at him now:)

I promise you that your son's fear of water has absolutely nothing to do with the incident last summer. This is why I feel this way. We have a pool in our backyard. Every year when spring rools around, the toddlers in our house think that they are terrified of the water. We continue to work with them and in about a week of daily swimming they are fine. He does not even remembeer falling into the pool last year. It is a totally normal reaction at this age. It helps greatly if the pool water is warm. They really have a tough time adjusting to the pool if the water is cold. Godd luck! Happy spring!

I agree with the other ladies that you should keep exposing him to water. If he is just too too scared to get in, just sit poolside and show him how much fun the kids are having. Just do that for a few pool visits. Then get closer, dip your feet in the pool and kick them around, splash with your hands, but don't get all the way in yet. Again, just do that a few times. Gradually get him back into the water. Try heading for the baby pool on the first visit where you've decided to get all the way in. Its not as deep and scary. Then go for the big pool next time.
I usually just ignore it when my son has an unreasonable reaction to something like that, but it is good for him to know that water can be dangerous. That does need to be a part of his water training, that he needs to be with an adult at all times, that it is unsafe to be near water alone.

I am a former swimming instructor, and I worked with tots, too. I was horrified when our 4th child was petrified of the swimming pool at 2 years old. Our 3rd child was swimming unassisted by then, without ever having had instruction ! Kid #4 LOVED bathtime and would play and lay in the tub and everything, but she wouldn't even go IN the swimming pool, and sometimes wouldn't even go inside the room the pool was in without screaming. I have no idea why. In the end, we were visiting her grandparents and grandma got her throwing rocks into the lake and she thought it was fun (very little rocks, obviously, and not near people) We then bought her a turtle that went around her waist and she could wade in and play, and she decided it was more fun than her fears.

Unfortunately, you can't use flotation devices in the pool, and often parents who do rely on them, and no flotation device (short of an Coast Guard approved PFD) will hold a child's head out of the water.

I recommend that you play together on the steps, where he can sit with his feet in the water, and maybe you in the water, and you can play with floating toys . . . and maybe he'll inch down to the next step, etc. In toddler class, you are always in contact with your child, and, really, the goal isn't necessarily for them to become "swimmers", it is to be sure that if they fall in, they will not panic, and will be able to kick their feet, tilt their heads back and keep their faces above water unti help comes. There are lots of places that advertise little ones swimming, but most kids don't become fishes at age 2.

the nice thing with a beach area, is that it's really easy to sit at the water's edge and play, and dig and make castles, and do lots of fun water activities without getting into anything deep. And if they toddle and fall over, they are probably able to lift their heads up and not be in the water. So there is more control for the child.

what we are asking our kids to do at age 2, is to climb into the pool with Mommy and/or Daddy and cling to them for dear life because we are getting into about 20 feet of water. There IS no shallow end of the pool for a 2 year old. When I used to teach, and a child would take off and figure out he could swim, it was always scary for the parents because he would swim at any end of the pool, and it would be really scary -- but then I realized that to a child every end of the pool is the deep end. If it's 20 feet deep or 3 feet deep -- it's no difference to you if ALL of it is over your head.

YMCA's that teach tots usually have styrofoam flotation cubes or something to help support a child's back. If they allow it, I also like water wings. They are NOT a safe flotation device, because they will not support the face, but they will provide extra bouyancy at the biceps, and they allow the child to lean on his/her biceps and hold himself up. It makes swimming easier for them to begin to master. But, again, do not let your child just go romping into the pool (not a problem at this point, is it?) with his water wings. And pool lifeguards are trained to handle emergencies, and they are "on guard" moment by moment, but there is no substitution for parental control and proximity.

With all that said, my advice would be to work within your child's sense of comfort. If he will only sit on a bench and watch a class, you might be able to do that without paying. (I would recommend watching a class that doesn't have panicky children in it) Or you can go and watch children play during open swim. It's good for him to see kids playing that are having FUN. It will provide incentive.

We used to teach by having the child cling to our necks, so he felt safe, and he could even rest his chin on a parent's shoulder. You then grab the legs, holding the knees straight, kick the legs and say, "kick, kick, kick" After a while, it becomes fun, and the child will simply kick, and you can hold on around the hips to keep him horizontal in the water. Then they learn to dig a hole in the water with their hands, and eventually, they attempt a dog paddle -- but when little ones start to swim alone, they swim upright. They do not swim horizontally as they've been taught. They basically bicycle their legs, and dig with their paws, and it works. After they can do that, then they can learn to stretch out some.

For learning to float, you can also start easily, by dipping him in water, but not over his chin. He needs to learn to "blow a hole in the water" which is a fun game. And then to make motorboat bubbles in the water. That one works eventually into a bob -- and he blows bubbles under water. The idea is to learn to breathe OUT when your face is in the water, and IN when you are in the air. Breathing out underwater takes more lung strength than breathing out in the air, and that's why they practice it so much.

In the end, most of us will float in some position with our faces out of the water, if we have inflated our lungs and tilt our heads all the way back. Skinnier people need more help to keep their faces up, so maybe arms over the head. Don't worry where the feet end up -- what's important is learning to keep the face in the air until help comes.

They are all little skills, and they lead to being safe in or around the water. The first thing is to teach him he is safe, and that it's fun to be in the water -- so maybe even a paddle pool at home would be enough water to practice in -- playing with boats, sitting in the grass, then climbing inside and walking in the water -- with Mom. With only knee deep water, he will have more control, and feel safer. He can also learn to crawl in the water, and might even be able to lay in the water, if it's shallow, and kick his feet behind him to splash mom. Mom can scream and yelp so he laughs, too ! (lucky mom)

i have seen instructors take 6 year olds who are afraid to jump in, put them in a life jacket and toss them in, so they learn that the life jacket will save them, and they come up laughing . . . but I don't really advocate that. I advocate working with the child until he or she FEELS safe. And it happens.

Our youngest never was submerged or anything. She was terrified just watching her older siblings playing in the pool. I don't have any idea what went through her head, but she would scream just watching them. . . . and she loves water play now. She and her sister tube behind Grandpa's boat and they have a wonderful time. You just have to observe, and play and encourage, and comfort, and not give up.

and it's really good to tackle it while he's young, because there's so much more "fun" around the water at that age. I've also taught 60 year olds to swim who were absolutely petrified of the water. They have determination that gets them there, but they also have long entrenched fears. With kids, Mommy and Daddy represent a BIG safety feature, and the ability to get involved and distracted from our fear by playing is a BIG plus !!

And in the end, what you really want is for your child to be able to fall into a pool, not panic, and be able to support himself long enough for help to arrive. (I wouldn't practice that scenario, but keep it in mind as YOUR goal -- not that he become an olympic butterfly medalist)

:-)

Most of all -- ENJOY your child ! My youngest is 12 now, and while I am thrilled to participate in her development and I thoroughly enjoy her, "childhood" has definately receded from our lives !!

Sorry this is so long !! Feel free to correspond if you have Q's and I'll try to be briefer !! (ha ha)

barb

Hi L.,
My suggestion would be to have no expectations of him. Take him to swim class and see if he will just sit at the end of the pool with his feet in. Even if you just go to swim class and watch a bunch of times so he's around the water, seeing everyone having fun. A fun, easy going, reassuring attitude will go a long way. It might take him a long while but I say keep with it, keep trying so you can help him not be afraid. Good luck!

N.

L.,

Kids seem to go thru their phases where they don't like water. I would contact the local Red Cross in your area and see if they have an upcoming class that will help your son progress thru these classes.

A. C.

L.-
was this a swimming lesson with a separate instructor? or were you on a mom-with-child class where you were holding him?

you may need to do some things in the bathtub to make him less fearful. try having him wash his face with water.....blow bubbles....at 2 years old, they can do all sorts of things including cryign prior to lessons. i know when i was teachign at a club, that happened regularly with smaller children who were fearful of the teacher more so than the water.
not sure what to suggest but to keep trying and taking him in with you, playing in the water adn relaxing your hold on him each time you go so he finally does feel comfortable.
hope that helps.

joanna
www.nutrition-in-motion.net
personal nutrition and swim coach in philadelphia metro area

Hi, I'm a56yr old grandmother, and a retired swimming instructor of a survival tot swimming program. Yes they will cry and as soon as they adjust they will be happy to swim. You have to remember to make it a happy time when you swim for fun. But if he cries at lessons it is better than if he didn't go and fell in and something tragic happened. I sent my daughter now 37 yrs old and my 2 grand children. My daughter was water skiing at 5yrs old and I felt comfortable with her near the water. We lived on the boat all summer so I needed the security.

I currently teach children 6 months to 3 yrs. Well, not really swimming but Water Adjustment Classes with swimming skills. Your child may remember the "falling in" episode but, some of it probably is that lack of control. The main key is to be consistant and take them to class every week; that is what I tell the parents in my classes. When they have a break it is like starting all over for them, since their idea of time is much different than adults.

I don't know what kind of activities the class was like that you were attending, but the first half of my baby class is all children's song with movements. This really gets them ready for the other "swimming" activities that we do later on in class that day.

Just keep trying and try different activities in the water (throwing a ball or bath toy and retrieving it, splashing mommy or daddy, kicking and making waves/bubbles, or using a foam noodle to ride like a horse around the pool with adult help). Every minute counts in the pool so the longer you can keep them in the quicker they will learn and get over their fear.

Good luck and I hope you and your child have many fun experiences in the water!!!

Continue to take your child into the water. They will eventually forget about the bad incident once they have more good ones. I take both of my children for swimming lessons. My youngest is still in a mommy and me class and during the first session I had her in she was going down the kids slide. Each time before she had easily come forward into my arms. For some reason, this one time she leaned back as she came off the slide. Since she went away from me I was unable to keep her above water and she went under for a split second. I got her pretty quickly. It took her months to go near the slide again, but the instructor (who is also the owner of the place I take my kids) told me to just keep it consistent and that she would eventually forget. She now is back to loving the slide and her classes. They both look forward to Sat. mornings for that reason.

Good luck!

Hi L., Wow, water issues are always tough, but here's a suggestion/advise for you. Keep taking him to those lessons! Be as relaxed and as matter of fact as you can. Don't feed his fear by trying to "sweet talk" him into the water or "poor baby" him. You wouldn't do that when you put him on the school bus, don't do it now. Explain it to him; we are going swimming at the Y, we are going to learn how to to this....then tell and show him on the living room floor. Knowledge is power, what's scaring him is probably not the water, but the lack of control he feels in the water which would be normal. We all have fears about things we can't control. I have always taken this approach with my girls even when I have been scared out of my wits (like dentists!) and it has always worked well with them. Your reaction is crucial...he will take his cues from you, if your nervous or your reacting he will escalate his reaction. Kinda like when he falls down, do you watch him for his reaction or does he watch you to see if he should cry? You don't want a "poor boy" you want a child that jumps up and keeps going. Life's so full of hard situations we have to teach our kids how to take the good and the bad. Good luck and best wishes!

I had the same problem with my oldest son, who is now 10. I would do swimming lessons with him every year from the time he turned 3. I would even have him swim with friends his age who loved the water, but it didn't help. I even took him to a private swim instructor at age 7 and she said he truly has a fear. Just keep taking him to the pool, but don't force anything. My son would eventually just get in but wouldn't put his head under. It wasn't until he was 8 that the fear was gone, now I can't keep him out of the water. We are getting a pool this summer and he is so excited. Good luck!

I can tell you from experience that it is very important for you to get him back in the pool ASAP! I almost drowned when I was 4 years old and it took me until I was 25 to finally get over my fear of water and really learn to swim mainly because nobody ever worked with me to get over my fear. I would suggest carrying him into the pool and just walk around with him until you feel him start to relax a little. Then try bouncing a little and blowing bubbles in the water with his mouth then nose. This will help him get used to keeping the water from going up his nose when he's under the water. Since he's so young he will eventually get more and more brave. Just keep making a game out of it so he gets more comfortable. Also, try to get into the pool when there aren't a lot of other kids that already can swim. I know I was embarrassed the few times that I did get into the pool and other kids just don't understand a fear of the water if they don't have it themselves. I hope this helps.

Hi, L..

Several suggestions...maybe take him to the pool with a bunch of his friends and their parents...and maybe seeing all the other kids in the pool will make him want to join them, and convince him the pool is a fun place.

Also, maybe putting him on a raft, where you gently pull him through the pool, without having him get wet. Maybe that will be a start. Drifting in the water is such a nice feeling!

My kids were fearful of the ocean when they were very little. Made it easy to sit on the beach back then. Then, with each of them, one day they decided, "This is cool," and our relaxing days on the beach were over! Bet that will happen with you...soon enough he won't want to get out of the water!

Good luck!

Only one of our five children is afraid of the water. The first four loved swimming. Some of them had to take a few trips to the pool each summer to get over a temporary phobia that would set in over the winter. Our last child has been a completely different story. He was never really fond of his baths, and swimming pools would cause screaming fits. We would try to reassure him every time we would go to a pool, lake, or stream--all to no avail. Last year when we were at the beach of a state park, he had started to enjoy the very edges of the lake up to about his shins. He had just turned 3 yr. He still does not like having to have his hair washed. Although I was a little concerned at first, I have come to the same conclusion as I always do. Not everyone is the same. Not enjoying water is not the end of the world. It simply is not this child's "thing."

He's two, give him time...
let him cling to you while you are in the water. what your son is experiencing is a very mild Post Traumatic Stress. what happened to him has caused his fear.
dont let anyone tell you that they dont remember...
just because they cant verbalize it well... doesnt mean they dont remember.
My son went through similar things... and just needed a few smaller 'babysteps' to transition... then he took off like all the other kids his age... is actually quite advanced for his age.
Dont worry about it...
give him loving reassurance that you are there and going to support him through his water phobia.
take him into the pool with you and let him cling to you...
hold him and let him let go at his own pace as he becomes more comfortable.
Good Luck

Hi L.,
I remember reading that at a young age (under 3-4) it is GOOD for kids to have a little fear of water...they will stay away from dangerous temptations of pools, ocean, ponds etc. I would not force this issue as it just may make it worse. My son (now 5) was a bit fearful and had a similar experience at your son's age with the stepping off of a step & splash! Over time he has come to enjoy the water and now really likes our pool and I think this year he will LEAP into swimming. Sometimes it's disappointing when our kids don't react to situations as we think they will. My son has a friend who will not even get a bath without his goggles--he is SO afraid of getting water in his eyes! I love the water and always envisioned my son as being a fearless little fish in the water--but it took some time. Don't rush it.
Let him get used to (and comfortable with) water in little steps--the tub, baby pools in your yard, etc. Kids love to play with buckets of water and cups, strainers, toy fish, ducks, etc. My son will still do that for hours on a nice day out on our deck. When the time comes, let him stay in your arms in the bigger pool and just let him be relaxed and enjoy it little by little. Stand in the shallow end so he is mostly out of the water and just let him get used to it. As he gets more brave, you can dip him down more, hold him on his tummy, etc. If you have a pool--please use a pool alarm in case any accident may happen. Good luck.

Hi L.

I think it's probably pretty normal. My son is 3 and got knocked over at the beach 2 summers ago by a wave and since then will not go near anything larger than a wading pool. I think the size and depth are overwhelming to them especially if they've had a bad experience. Go slowly and reintroduce him and I'm sure with time he'll warm up.

Dear L.
My son did not have any bad experences around water and he still clung to me like a moneky the first few times we went to lessons together. Not all children take to water instantly. I think that you need to take the presure of both of you and perhaps take some time to just be in the water together. Let him hold onto you and just walk around the pool reasuring him all the time. Always remember that children can sence your fears so keep a happy face no matter what he will soon get the idea that you are safe and happy then it is ok for him to feel the same. Once he is comfortable with the idea then begin taking the lessons. There is no point making it more of an issue than it already is for him. Relax and enjoy it because once he is more comfortable it will be great fun!!