Toddler Refuses to Poop in the Potty!

Wow - 2 1/2 is young. Almost too young for her to determine what her bowels are doing in time to tell you.

If you're trying to get this accomplished before the new one arrives ... don't. Having the new baby in the house can and often does bring out regressive behavior. Many fully potty trained kids start bed wetting and other baby type behaviors to compete with the new arrival.

Save yourself the frustration at a time when you don't need the stress and put her in pull-ups. Don't make a big deal out of it by telling her over and over, just change her pull-up and go on. If she is this far trained before age three she will get the rest of the way before you know it and this will be behind you.

Rest - nothing you've read can prepare you for the level of energy you are going to need with two.

Blessings to you and your family this holiday season.

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My daughter did the exact same thing and we were also frusterated. She ended up just doing it on her on one day and never pooped in her panties again. I think she was almost three when she finally was 100% potty trained. She is still young. Just let it go and don't stress and worry like we did. She will do it on her on soon. I have heard that alot of kids have problems with the pooping and they will eventually learn to go on the potty.

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A.,

My son did the exact same thing and he is just now completely potty trained (he will be 3 in Febuary). I bought a bunch of cheap toys (mostly hotwheals in his case) and put it in the bathroom cabinet. I told him that everytime he went poop in the potty he would get a new toy out of the cabinet. After a few days of doing this he was good to go. He would say " I want to go poop in the potty and get a new car". I know it's a bribe and it costs money but I was so frustrated with cleaning poopy underwear everyday (I also had just had my baby) that I would try anything. Now he still asks for toys when he goes poop, but he knows that they are all gone and he still goes in the potty.
Good luck.
A. H.

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My now 13 year old daughter did the EXACT same thing! All I can say is have patience. My daughter mastered the pee-pee in fairly short order when she was 2 1/2 . . . literally within days, even at night. But for whatever reason she was completely non-compliant with pooping . . . she just kept going in her underwear and I adamantly refused to put her back in diapers/Pull-Ups because that would have sent the wrong message. It took about another 5 months to get her "poop" trained. What I learned was that PATIENCE was key, because I started getting frustrated which she picked up on and then she started holding it in and became very constipated to the point we had to give her an enema. After that, I completely dropped the issue for a while. Then, about 3-4 weeks before her third birthday, I would now and then make a very casual, conversational reference that "3 year olds go poopy on the potty, not in their underwear." Then when she turned 3 we made a potty chart and she earned a sticker for each day she managed to go on the potty. The visual aid was very useful. And when she did it 5 days in a row she earned a small reward (something from a dollar store) and we put a picture of that item on the chart . . . again, the visual connection seemed to motivate her. Within a month of her 3rd birthday she was completely potty trained!! And she earned a "larger" reward for her total success (nothing over the top) and a picture of that item was also on the chart for reinforcement.

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Even though your daughter acts like she knows what she's doing, she may not. Maturity comes at different times in just about everything learned. Be patient. Don't make a big deal out of it. Reward her if she does is right. Time will take care of it.

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Dear friend,

Count yourself lucky that she will use the potty at all! I'm a teacher of twos, and have five kids and eight grandkids, so I do my share of putting kids on the potty. Here's what I've found. Many (but not most) children will use the potty part of the time below the age of two. At two, some of them (but not most) will find it easier to control their bladders. All of them (or almost all) find it more difficult to poop in the potty. Just give her time, and put her in pull-ups until she's ready again for panties. Don't get frustrated, because she'll only have another reason to avoid that function.

Good luck, honey!

S.

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I don't have any success stories or sure-fire tips. I want you to know that you are not alone and that it will eventually happen.
I started to potty train my oldest son when he was 2, because that is when I assumed it was done and others had started asking me when I was going to train him. He is verbally advanced and I figured he was ready because he could talk to me about going potty. After a long and very stressful YEAR for both of us, he just suddenly got it. It was like his ability to understand what to do caught up with his ability to talk to me about going potty.
With DS #2 I took a much more laid back approach. I didn't even start to try until he was almost 3, he wasn't fully trained until just after his 3rd birthday. Again, one day it just clicked. It was easier to train my second child simply because I wasn't so tense about it.
The three day approach has not worked for us - ever.
I know it is so frustrating and you get so tired of cleaning out poopy pants. Hang in there and just keep encouraging her and yourself!
L.

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PATIENCE...her muscle and sensory system may not be fully developed yet. May not be a matter of "won't" but rather of "can't"!!!

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She's too young to know her body well enough to consistently poop in the potty. The fact that she has been potty training "for the last 6 months" means that you, like many other parents probably mistook her interest in her body and her knowledge of the process for potty training readiness. Give her time and the opportunity and be patient. It will happen in her time. Don't force the issue, that will only cause her stress and anxiety.

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Misty has great suggestions....here is one that we used. Have a 'poop in the potty' basket and put in a couple of cheap dollar store type toys wrapped into the basket. Let her know that those presents are for little girls that make poopy in the potty. "Poop in the Potty Presents"! This worked for our oldest....about to get ready to try it with our youngest....we will see. If not, I am going to try the Chuck E Cheese thing. It is correct that having BM's is a different process than pee, but offering a great incentive will help you discern if she is ready and being stubborn or if she is not ready. Either way, patience is key.

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Att her age this is very common, try to notice if she )poops) the same time of day and catch her and take her to potty, and maybe let her look at one of her little books, and she may (accidently go) and then of course be very proud. I think it will come soon.

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My problem is that my son tells me after he poops and is scared to poop on the potty and screams no and if I "force" him on the potty he jumps off. So I have given up for now. He is 3. He also now doesn't even want to pee in it. He has totally regressed. My older son didn't fully potty train until 4! So, I feel your pain.

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I too am in the midst of potty training a 2 1/2 year old. What worked for us was to just let her be naked when she was at home. I had heard this method from many other people and it really works. She had one accident on the carpet and after that has been telling us and going to the potty every time.
good luck.

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My son did the same thing for about 9 months. Then just when he turned 3 and started preschool he started going on the potty for his poops. Something just triggered in him that he was old enough because nothing else was working. We did reward him with money for his piggybank which he liked to put coins or dollars. Also we would borrow videos from the library and show him what he could watch if he continued going on the potty. He has had very few accidents and is doing quite well now. But I have to tell you that it requires alot of patience. Hang in there, it will happen.

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I have been meaning to post about this same topic regarding my 6 year old step-son. We get him every other weekend and he always poops in his pants. His mother says his doctor says he does not have the same nerve endings the rest do in his anus that tells him he needs to go. He says he doesn't feel it coming and only knows after he does it because he can feel it in his pants. This is so messy and so frustrating! We thought the mother was just too lazy to be consistent in potty training him, because she is so lazy in many other ways and never consistent with the kids about anything liking eating, showering, and discipline. BUT, then my mom talked to my aunt about this. I found out my cousin (male) did this until he was 11 years old! He had the same problem. The doctor said the same thing to my aunt. My cousin is now 40 and thankfully, he eventually outgrew it, I assume. Both my stepson's mom and my aunt say eventually they will grow out of this when their body begins to feel in that area. I haven't looked this up yet online or called my own doctor to verify all of this, so I don't know what this affliction is called. Good luck! I'm curious to read the rest of the responses you get. Joyfully, B.

Try stickers, small dollar store toys she can recieve from a treasure box when she poops in the potty. Praise, and positve reinforcment, as well as knowing when she needs to go, anticipate when she needs to go, and take her before hand several times a day. Maybe after meals, you can walk her over. Your response to her pooping in the potty is crucial, I know it's tiring, you are doing great, just be consistent, and keep lots of underware available. She will be potty trained, don't be so hard on yourself, it's okay, it takes time. I haven't heard of anyone saying "yup my kid never got trained and poops in her panties as an adult" Okay, I am trying to be funny, and I am not. Sorry, what I am trying to say, is choose to take your time. She will get it. Blessings!

You need to pay close attention to her, I mean watch her like a hawk to determine when she poops....sounds dumb but you need to figure out when it is she goes and get her to the potty BEFOREHAND so that she can make it. By the time they're 18 months or so you usually can tell, they go to a corner or whatever, there are signs. There are so many issues with pooping and so many books out there to help. It may be a control issue since she obviously knows that she's done it. Good luck to you, but try not to let her sense your frustration, it won't help.

We've had the exact same problem with our two year old. (She'll be 3 in Feb) She had #1 down pat, but her BM's always ended up in her panties. We tried everything with her, but nothing seemed to help the poo problem. We tried positive and negative renenforcement. We tried making her sit on the toilet at certain times to no avail. Finally, I just gave up on pressuring her and figured she'd figure it out eventually. And amazingly she did! The day after Thanksgiving she went on the potty for the first time in months, and she has only had 2 poopy accidents since. It's been a week now and she's still going strong! Be patient, because she WILL get it. Believe me, I know how frustrating it can be. There is light at the end of the tunnel though, so don't get discouraged. (Espically w/ a new one on the way - we're due in A.)

Hello A.,

Maybe she does not recognize when she has to go. kids usually go around the same time every day (if they're not constipated) usually after a meal... see if you can figure out her time to go and take her to the bathroom and have her sit there w/ a book or something. good luck! ~C.~

We did the exact same thing. Here's what worked for us, but everyone is different. We had gone to Chuck E Cheese way back in Jan or Feb of this year but haven't gone back. My son talks about it ALLLL the time. I found that on the Chuck E Cheese website they have a lot of different reward charts -- one being for going to the potty. Once they've had 2 weeks, they get 10 free tokens. Anyway. . .we taped it to the wall in his bathroom, and he had little smiley face stickers that he got to stick on each day that he poo pooed in the toilet. If he had 2 accidents (not necessarily in the same day), we started all over. It took a while to do it, but he made it the two weeks straight, and we went to Chuck E Cheese two weeks ago. It was a huge incentive for him since it was such a big deal. We didn't follow it exactly like you should, but what we did worked for us.

If yours doesn't like Chuck E Cheese, you could look at their chart and use it to make your own for something special for her. Let her know that if she has X amount of accidents that she will have to start all over, though. Make it something she really wants or wants to do and doesn't get to do often so it will be more incentive. Know that there will be accidents. That's why we set ours to two consecutive accidents before taking it down and starting over. I liked the idea of my son putting the stickers on himself because he was more involved, and that was one of his favorite parts. It'll happen when she's ready, though, too.

Good luck.