My son, 16 months, hits, like all 16 months olds I am sure, but the problem is that when I tell him no, he laughs at me and does it again. I have tried to ignore it, hit him back and tell him no, none of these methods work, he just laughs at me with this really deep belly laugh that makes me laugh cause it is so riduculous, i have to turn around so he doesn't see me. I have also removed him from the person he is hitting to get his focus on other things, but this isn't disciplining his behavior. Any suggestions?
So I have been watching my son a little more carefully and have noticed that he tends to only hit and push girls and then when he is tired. We are telling him "no" sternly, gentle touches. I am sure that he will pick it up sooner or later, but trying to turn his attention to another activity helps a little. The tricky part is for both spouses to dicipline the exact same way.
Hi there,
My son does the same thing. We say no firmly with a serious face while holding the hand he hit with, and then use the same hand to touch our face nicely and say "be gentle/nice to Mommy (or whoever.) If he hits again we set him down and let him get upset, and then pick him up and try again. He usually doesn't hit again after that.
Good luck!
J. :)
I am not experiencing this yet but my son is almost 15 months so it may come soon. I would first change your wording and maybe reaction. If he is laughing at you then no isn't effective any longer maybe you could say quiet hands, we don't hit, quiet body, not okay, not nice, etc. Change your tone too. If you jump up and yell NO then quietly and softly say your new phrase. Also, I am sure you know this, but you cannot laugh. Kids pick up if you are not serious right away. You don't want him to associate hitting with laughter. I would remove him instantly, say your key phrase, and set him in a specific location each time, don't make any eye contact, and make him stand/sit for a specific amount of time (no more then 1 minute though), then debrief about what happened. He may be a bit young for the debriefing part but if you do this EVERY time he hits he will get it in the following months. The key is to be extremely consistent regardless of location and to extinguish the fun activity. When you debrief look at the situation and see why he hit and try to work on those skills by talking or role-playing. Aggressive behavior is always a way to communicate something so you have to figure out what he is trying to communicate. I personally would not ignore it, hitting is a big deal. I will also assume you don't hit him b/c that could add a whole other element. Regardless of which advice and tactic you take as long as you are consistent it will work, but it may take awhile for him to start changing the pattern. Good luck...
I can relate. My just turned 19 month old is a hitter and has been especially hitting this week. This week he's turned to not just hitting me thinking he's funny, but hitting other kids as well. (Thankfully he's not that strong yet!) He would look for a reaction and laugh every time. HE thinks he's really funny when he hits. I've been giving him a stern "No, hitting is not okay, give nice touches" while having him look right at me and showing him how to be friendly with a nice touch on the arm or a hug/kiss...something like that. He usually either gives me the head down and turn away as if to say "innocent me??". Or he'll look at me and cry as if he's all offended. But then he is at least associating the hitting behavior as a negative. When he hits me thinking he is funny, I give him my hand and say no hitting my face/shoulder/whatever it may be, give me five on my hand, so he can know what IS okay/appropriate. Then he'll look for my hand to give me five instead of hitting. It's been a week, but at least there's a little improvement so far. And try to remember that at least he's not biting or something like that more damaging. All kids go through something like this around this stage because they are exploring their world and others reactions and they can't yet communicate clearly, so they use what they can...body language and body contact. We need to teach them how to communicate nicely and effectively, showing them what is and what is not okay. How we do this is often the tricky part as you've seen. :)
I'd say removing him from the situation with a firm no or that isn't nice is discipline. That is what we have done with all of ours. He will soon figure out that he can not play with what he wants if he is mean. Like a mini time out. He is testing his boundaries and looking for a reaction from his parents to see if he is doing the right thing. For all mine it started about this age. And yes sometimes it is funny:) At that age they can’t express with words what they are feeling. Sometimes you can catch it before it happens if you notice he is getting frustrated remove him. Saying no and removing them they can understand, ignoring and hitting back just reinforces the behavior. Good luck and hope this phase passes quick!:)
I would try holding his arms still (in a backwards hug) until it makes him unhappy, then he will realize that he is not in control of his own body if he doesn't use his hands correctly. I said If you hit I have to hold you still
Good Luck
B.
