17 answers

Toddler Formerly breastfed...always Grabbing Boobs.....

My son was breastfed until I no longer had any milk left, just after 18 months old. I have an issue now, where everytime he gets upset, or nervous, he wants to stick his hand down my shirt and grab my boobs. I think it may be a comfort thing from all the time we spent together breastfeedng. It is becoming a problem though, he does this in public, or at night when we are laying down for bedtime, he will actually try pinching my nipples, and it hurts bad. I remove his hand, and try to cover my chest to stop him from constantly going in there, but I don't know how I should handle this. Has this happened to anyone after they stopped breastfeeding, and what did you do? It's almost like instead of him having a special blanket to fall asleep with, or comfort him, he wants my boobs. Any suggestions are appreciated.

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What can I do next?

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My 4 YO still grabs at them, we stopped at 12 months. I just tell her to leave my boobs alone. She recently asked why we have to drink milk from the cow. So I asked where else we could get milk from and she motioned her own breast. I told her that is only for babies. Once you are old enough you have to drink cow milk. I also asked if she remembers that and she said yes.

So perhaps in time he will drop the issue, but maybe not anytime soon.

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How long has your son been weaned? Either way, I would have a talk with him and explain that you no longer have milk for him, and that Mommy's boobies (or whatever you call them) are now Mommy's. It might be too early, but I would talk a bit about how your body parts are yours, and his body parts are his. Make it a game, and point to one of your parts, and ask whose it is, then point to his and ask the same. Can you get him a stuffed animal or blanket during these times to divert his attention to for comfort? Let him know if he wants to be comforted, you will hold him, but he can hold his teddy, or something like that.
I have a friend whose son plays with the skin tags on her neck as a form of comfort. She allows this, so he is over 3 and still doing it, even though it is uncomfortable for her. If you don't want something done, nip it in the bud and be consistent about it. He will learn, it will just take some time.

Good luck,
T.

2 moms found this helpful

My 4 YO still grabs at them, we stopped at 12 months. I just tell her to leave my boobs alone. She recently asked why we have to drink milk from the cow. So I asked where else we could get milk from and she motioned her own breast. I told her that is only for babies. Once you are old enough you have to drink cow milk. I also asked if she remembers that and she said yes.

So perhaps in time he will drop the issue, but maybe not anytime soon.

2 moms found this helpful

I think that's a boy thing.
My son is 5 yrs old and up until prob a year ago I had to keep fishing his hands out of my shirt. He would just do it with out even thinking about it. He'd be talking to me and fidigiting and somehow those little hands would end up down my shirt. I talked and talked and talked about it , spanked hands , etc. I he just grew out of it.
He still has a fascination with my boobs whenever I don't have a shirt on.

2 moms found this helpful

Re-direct, re-direct, re-direct. Just as adults when we are tying to change a behavior, we need a new routine, so does your son. I would really change things up in a very loving way - rocking for bed, reading books or whatever would be different than nursing. Its just understandably too comfortable and familiar to keep the same position but take away nursing because of the relationship that nursing allows with our children. Kudos to you mom!

1 mom found this helpful

I breastfed my daughter until almost 2 and she did the same thing. When she would get upset or just need to be comforted, she would go straight for the boobs. They just get used to that being a comfort zone for them. She eventually stopped, but now she is 3 and is starting to ask questions again. I don't think they ever get over the boobs. :)

1 mom found this helpful

I just explained to my kids often that they should not let anyone, friend or not, touch their private areas. We go over what areas are private. I explain that mom & dad or granny can touch them for cleaning, or to examine them if they have an ouchy & a Dr. too if Mom & dad or granny are in the room too. Otherwise it is rude & innapropriate. I also explain that if people aren't allowed to touch them, it is also rude & innapropriate for them to touch other people's private area. Then when they start to reach, saysomething to the effect of please stop touching my private area. This is a good way to reinforce the lesson of private areas & appropriate touching. My son understood around 2-2.5 yrs old.

1 mom found this helpful

It's normal. He'll outgrow it. I wouldn't allow him to pinch you though. That's not nice behavior. Trust me, you notice it way more than anyone else when you're out in public.

1 mom found this helpful

You need to find something comforting to replace it...start a new routine that will stick in his mind. Rocking? A toy of some kind, or a song to make him feel better?

When he does this, you could remove yourself, deny him attention, so he learns that his grabbing gets him the OPPOSITE of what he wants...

BTW, I have heard that some mom's put band-aids on their nipples and tell weaning children that they have "boo-boos" and are hurt, and that the children leave them alone. It's worth a shot.

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