17 answers

Toddler Dress for Grandparent Funeral

Moms, I need your help. We've only got a few days left and my daughter has nothing to wear to the funeral. Everything is either too casual or too bright. I am looking for something (Toddler 2T) that is appropriate for the weather and the occasion.

Let me amend my original request: I know it doesn't matter what my daughter wears, but my mother was such a stickler for dressing up, wearing nice things, having your hair and makeup done, etc. that I want to honor her in this way.

I'm on a budget and don't want to be extravagant if I can avoid it. I have gift cards for Walmart, Target, and Kohls but there is nothing appropriate in those stores. Any other store recommendations? I would appreciate it. Thank you.

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I'm an 83 year old grandma - only have a 12 year old grandson who has clothes to wear for anything. BUT if I had a cute little granddaughter anything bright and lively would work for me. Also, I too have always been a real stickler for appropriate dress. If you get any criticism - send them to me!

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I have a 18 mo. black dress that my daughter just wore to my grandmother's funeral. Would that fit?

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I don't think it needs to be super formal. Just something dark...brown or black with tights. My father-in-law passed away last year, my son was 2 1/2. Just a word of advice.... My son obviously didn't really understand what was going on, but when we went up to see my FIL for the last time, everyone was of course heartbroken & in many tears (it was sudden & unexpected). My son just felt that something wasn't right, and he totally broke down. He didn't want to be held, he was totally crying, I felt horrible that in my in-law's last moments w/ my FIL, my son was kind of ruining the moment. Of course they never said anything about it & it probably wasn't a really big deal, but if things get really heavy & visually emotional, you may want to remove your daughter or have someone a little removed from the immediate family take her into the hallway to play. I'm sorry for your family's loss.

2 moms found this helpful

I'm an 83 year old grandma - only have a 12 year old grandson who has clothes to wear for anything. BUT if I had a cute little granddaughter anything bright and lively would work for me. Also, I too have always been a real stickler for appropriate dress. If you get any criticism - send them to me!

1 mom found this helpful

I have a 18 mo. black dress that my daughter just wore to my grandmother's funeral. Would that fit?

1 mom found this helpful

I had to dress my two-year old for the funeral of my friend's five-month old. I quickly realized not only that an outfit for mourning did not exist for her age, but that it would seem completely inappropriate TO dress her in such an outfit. No one expects a child to wear black to a funeral. If your outfits are absolutely too colorful (polka-dots, for example), use your gift cards to buy her something in a white, gray, maroon, or other solid color, whether its a dress or pants, or what not, it will be fine.

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It's wonderful that you're honoring your mom this way. I know people who care a lot about clothing, and they'd totally love it if they looked down from heaven and everyone was dressed to the 9s! You're a very thoughtful daughter! Your mom was so lucky to have such a thoughtful daughter, you, who cares about details of clothing because they were important to your mom. If only there were more people like you in the world! PS, sorry for your loss; my parents are in their 70s and I know it's rough!

The Wave Kids at Golf Mill Mall has good formalwear and there's a fantastic holiday sale on right now with like 50% off and stuff. Definitely worth a look. They have the best formalwear for boys too, should anyone you know care.

Beyond that, Janie and Jack has good clothes for what you're looking for, but they're expensive; maybe if you hit the holiday sale it won't be too bad.

Try The Gap Kids. There's one in Old Orchard Shopping Mall and I think there are a bunch elsewhere. Gap sometimes has formalwear and now you can get the after-Christmas sales. They might have something in deep green or crimson which won't be too bright for a funeral. (Though I'm sure a little bright on a 2 year old won't be a big deal)

Or try Nordstrom Rack! The Rack is like an outlet store and with after-holiday sales as well it'll be awesome!

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Try a thrift store :) It's hit or miss sometimes, but it's easy on the budget, and there's usually quite a bit of variety.
I'm sorry about your loss.

Wear something she already has - nobody is going to care that her outfit isn't dark and somber. When would she wear something like that again. My sister always tells me that Jackie Kennedy Onassis changed funeral attire when she wore a bright suit to ? funeral and was seen by many.

Everyone is going to notice how cute your daughter is anyway - they are not going to worry about how bright the dress or outfit is.

Honestly, there is no such thing as "inappropriate" dress for a 2 year old, even if it is for a grabdparents funeral. As a mom of three under 5, and who had two funerals of very close family members this summer, I can honestly say that it is easy to misdirect your energies during this difficult time. I know. It is easier to focus on the details of the arrangements than the feelings and emotions that are the elephants in the room. I reccomend keeping the 2 year old home from the funeral with a family member or sitter. It is too hard for her to understand seeing all the peolpe crying at this stage. Then go to a few good book stores and buy your daughter some books that talk about death in an age appropriate way that she can understand.

As I reread this it realize it may sound harsh. Please know that my heart is with you. I can totally understand your pain mixed with the responsibility of making the arrangements. Take time to be still and be with your daughter. All the other formal arrangements are just that, "formal". In the long run you may look back (as I did) and feel that much of these details were not important.

Sorry for your loss. I agree w/other posters...don't worry about being too formal, and consider finding someone to help w/child care, especially if this is close relative to you-you deserve time to say goodbye one your own w/o having to chase after/occupy a little one.
I know gymboree had black and grey based dresses as part of their winter collections. You might also try department stores for holiday dresses/winter dresses in darker colors. Everything is on mega super after christmas sale right now (for ex, I was shopping yesterday and gymboree has a big "extra 60% off" sign in window, and lord & Taylor had crazy markdowns (with additional coupons). If u can't get your hands on a coupon, just nicely ask the salesperson if they have any, usually they will ring the discount through. Good luck.

Instead of thinking 'appropriate' what if you just dress your little girl in whatever you want and make it a celebration of this person's life. If you want to dress in subdued colors, but being only 2 she will represent what she is -a bright future. I am sure you dress her beautifully as you are concerned about this and you will be fine. You might find something she already has and you can save the gift cards for other needed items. And I am sure others will love to see her. Something about a little one at a funeral brightens up the entire situation. She will probably do very well in something she is comfortable and cute in. Those stores always have good things if you want to find something, perhaps they will have restocked now that the christmas items are out of the way.So sorry for your loss, by the way.

I know your mom was a stickler, but the reason there is nothing appropriate for your 2 year old to wear at the stores you've gone to, is because they don't make somber mourning outfits for 2 years olds. Even if you wanted to spend the money at a very expensive, upscale boutique, you still wouldn't find anything.

Please let yourself off the hook on this one. Your relatives will not notice what she's wearing. She'll be a little ray of light to everyone at the funeral no matter what she has on. A little dress with leggings in any winter color or velvet(or velour) pants with a nice top will do the trick.

I agree with the other moms...funeral appropriate does not exist for a toddler. My daughter was an infant when my grandmother passed, and she wore a colorful outfit to the funeral and wake. She will brighten up the mood just by being there. The color of what she wears is not as important as the outfit (comfort, weather, etc.). Sorry about your loss.

I am sorry about your grandparent.

I was at the Sears at Stratford yesterday and was buying some toddler clothes for a baby gift. They had a good selection of nice clothes - I bought a navy blue cord. dress that had pink ric rack with ballerina shoes. With a white turtle neck onies. I also bought some black and white stretch pants with a cute black top. The dress was $9.00 and the pants set was $4.00. They were both org. $24.00 each!

Take care

Hanna Andersson is having a huge sale right now. They have many dark colored dresses/skirts.

I'm sorry for your loss. In the midst of all the preparations for the funeral, I wouldn't worry too much about what is worn by your daughter. It will be such a comfort to have her there to remind everyone of the continuity of life and the joy that children bring us even when someone passes away. When a very close member of our family died some years ago, our kids just wore their usual attire, and everyone thought it was fine. Just having them there made such a difference and really brightened everyone's spirits.

I am so sorry for you loss. You might want to try Burlington Coat Factory. I found a dress for my daughter there last year when we took her with us to a funeral. I hope you find something. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Do you have a Osh-kosh by you?
Even Carson's or JC Penny's should have some good after christmas deals going on.
You can even try a re-sale clothing shop, if that kind of thing doesn't bother you.
My sympathy on your Mom's passing. I think it's nice that you want your daughter to look good for Mom.

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