Toddler Afraid to Wash Hair

Just a suggestion....based on my son's dislike of washing his hair. The water was getting in his ears. He now plugs his ears with his finger and tips his head. He has come to not mind it any more. See if maybe he would try plugging his ears. Sometimes it is the little things that we may not realize are compounding the fear. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I use a wash cloth over their eyes. It is what I did as a child and do with mine. It soaks up the water better than a hand. Let him pick one out if that will help. We have lots from the Disney store. They are just a couple of dollars and have the characters they like.

We use a soft visor that I bought at Target. If they don't mind wearing their "hat" it works very well. You can pour with a cup and it runs over the visor and no where near their eyes and ears.

Hi,
My son likes using his big brother's swimming goggles!
Good luck,
J.

I saw Walmart has a large soft pliable cup for rinsing a child's hair without water falling on the face...like the pitcher you described. Here is what I have heard done:

Give your son a choice:
Has he ever seen you have your hair washed in a sink at the shop? Oo and ahhh how relaxing it is. Then use the sprayer from the kitchen sink with his head down and his hands over his face. Make it warm and relaxing. Ask him about the temperature often. His choice is temperature. You decide the rest. No asking, "Ready?"

Have him lie down on a towel in the tub and wash his hair while he relaxes. Ask him about something that really interests him without him having to use his hands to talk about it. Then make a big deal about how you appreciated his cooperation.

After that one time, ask him to choose whether to lie down or sit up and wash hair. Having your child obey you and trust you requires "no peace and harmony" at times. That is just a false peace that destroys your relationship with him.

You'll be giving advice on this soon!

Here are a couple of thoughts...

What about rewarding him with bathtub crayons or paint after you wash his hair? Or blow bubbles with a bubble wand? Maybe that would be enough incentive.

At the end of the bath, let out all the water but 1/2 - 1 inch, have him lay down so you can wash his hair that way. Use a wash cloth to get the front of his head wet and to get the shampoo out. Also let him pick out the shampoo he wants at the store.

If nothing else works, get in the bathtub with him. It may comfort him enough to allow him to have his hair washed.

Remember he doesn't have to have his hair washed each time he takes a bath. Sometimes let him play in the tub without washing. I let my son "go swimming" one afternoon with his swim trunks on in the tub with all his pool toys. He had a blast!

Good luck! I hope something works out for you guys soon!

My son wasn't a fan of getting his hair washed either, even though he loves swimming lessons. I bought the pitcher with the rubber side on it. It works great for us.

I had the same problem. I tried the visor thing and that was a disaster. It didn't get to be ok until he felt ok to lay down in the tub. Good luck, know at least you are not the only one.

try laying him down in alittle water and get his hair wet then wash his hair sitting up then lay him back down in clear water and rainse his hair
that way the soap and water will not get in his face
I have done that with my children when they were growing up
good luck
B. Conners

I don't really have any good suggestions,but I did try one of those "pitchers" and I didn't think it worked very well.

My oldest son was terrified of water. It got to the point when he was just an infant, that the only way I could bathe him was to get into the bath and wash us both at the same time. When he was old enough to listen to stories, I would start a story, in a low, soft assuring voice. He would be so taken up by the story, that I could tilt his head back and slowly wash his hair, looking into his eyes the whole time.
Another solution, keep his hair very, very short so that a slightly soapy washcloth will wash the hair, and a second washcloth with just plain water for a rinse. That way, no running water is needed.

I've had people tell me they use goggles like they might for the pool. The water in the eyes really bothers a lot of young kids and I've heard that works so maybe you could try that. Hope you find something to work.

We have the pitcher with the flat rubber side. I'm sure it would work if I could get my 17 month old to look up but he doesn't get it yet, so the water gets in his face anyhow. You know the one thing that has helped? Swim lessons. We are doing parent/tot classes and they work on dunking and slashing and such and ever since he learned that it's fun to be dunked or jump off the side of the pool, he hasn't cared about the bath water so much.

A quick note...you are bound to get a response about how you don't bathe your kid enough. Ignore it. My son has horribly dry skin and some eczema (especially inthe winter) and the doc said once a week is fine until they are playing in the mud. So, right now, he swims once a week and gets a bath only if we have a messy dinner like spaghetti :)

I have always laid my son down in the tub to wash him, ever since he was a baby. Now that he is 2, I thought it was time to have him sit up to was his hair. But he doesn't quite understand that he needs to look up the whole time I am wetting, washing, and rinsing his hair. So, I still lay him on his back in the tub. Maybe your son would like that better.

Abbie used to HATE having her hair washed. I had her hold her head back AND had her place a dry or rung out wash cloth well over her eyes. THAT made all the difference in the world. In addition, I was able to "sneak in" the cup. Now.....we have no problems.

What about kids goggles?

My son also hated the water in his face. I found two things that worked really well... the first thing I did was get a really cool swimming mask. Like a snorkel mask. He loved it. He looked so goofy, but it worked. I could rinse his hair as long as he had the mask on and he had no problem. Then when he got a little older we got one of those spray attachments and i would let him rinse his hair himself. I put very little shampoo in his hair and that way there wasnt much to rinse out and if he didnt get it all, it wasnt a big deal. He eventually got more comfortable with it and at the age of 6 1/2 showers by himself. It takes some creative thinking and patience, but you will find something that works. Good Luck!

Have you tried just filling the tub with enough water to reach his ears with him laying down. Sometimes when my boys didn't like the shampoo (even baby shampoo)in their eyes this worked. Just trickle the water into the bangs and also have him to arch his back. It keeps the head tilted back more. Have a dry wash cloth handy to quickly wipe off the water so it doesn't run into the eyes.

My oldest still at 34 does not like to get his head wet when he swims. Showers seem not to bother him.

Another idea on getting him use to the water and shampoo might be to have him shower with you or your husband.

Hi D.,
Wal-mart carries a container that is for washing children's hair. It has a handle and is made of hard plastic but the side that you would pour that water out is made of rubber. You have your child put their head back a bit, rest the rubber part against the forehead and pour. The water completely misses the face. I was having such issues with my daughter. This has worked very well. It is in the baby section at Wal-mart.
L.

There is a great foam visor at babies-r-us my boys loved it!

My daughter is like this. We use a pitcher like cup with a rubber piece on it that fits tightly around her head so it wont go in her eyes. She is good now with it not getting in her eyes but now she freaks out when it goes in her ears. I am going to get some swimming earplugs and try those. Anything to make bath time a little easier. She loves the bath and the swimming pool but not on her head.
Good luck

Maybe this won't help but my toddler will lay down on his back, in very shallow water in the tub. It gives me a chance to wet and rinse his head, and it's less threatening to him than the pouring. He also likes the way things sound under water. Good Luck.

LOL your discribing my son! I wish I could say they grow out of it quickly...but we are almost 5, still don't go under water in a pool AT ALL and still use a cup MOST the time to rise our hair out but JUST now starting to stand in a shower. We got a clean wash cloth out every bath for him to just cover his eyes with. I would get it wet so he wouldn't notice if water did get on it some. He held the wash cloth, this gives him control of the situation. I pulled the cup. It was the last thing before getting out and I would do it as fast as possible so it was half way done before started. I hated it, but I didn't tell him or warn him until it was done. The screaming does stop, they do start to get use to it...looking at the ceiling, wash cloth over eyes, and patiences...for years :) Best of luck!

We have the bath visors from One Step Ahead. My kids LOVED them and it helped with bathtime SO much. Now they wear them when they have to shower and it keeps the water out of their eyes!!

I went through this with my son, but luckily the screaming was short-lived phase. Now we're back to the "I don't ike it but if I use a washcloth to cover my eyes and we pour water really carefully onto my hair while I look at the ceiling it will probably be OK" phase. :) I have not tried any of thos products, though I also have seen them. The one tip I heard that seemed good to me was to use swimming goggles. Seems like that would actually keep the water out of the eyes well. You may have a bit of trouble working around the strap, but it would be way better than a screaming crying bathtime!

We had the same problem so we purchased a visor made specifically for bath time. It worked great! We used it for all three kids! Good luck!

I had the same problem with my middle child and bought and used the visor....worked great! I also used to have her lie on the counter in the kitchen on her back and wash her hair in the sink.

D.,
You might try a swim mask. My son thought that was pretty fun and it offered a distraction to the process. Another thing we tried was taking a "fast shower." We made it a race to wash with soap fast then shampoo. Of course, I held the sprayer low. It's less invasive than the hated cup of water.
K.

I actually bought the one, I think it was from the One Step Ahead catalog, that is like a plastic bucket with rubber on the side. It helped a little bit, because I let him do it sometimes. He also likes to lay down on his back in the water and listen to how everything sounds, and I would hurry up and get the front of his hair then so nothing would get in his eyes. But we had many, many bad bathtimes because of this. I've started giving him showers now, and he feels like such a big boy. Maybe trying that could help?? He has no issues in the shower, and it makes him feel like a little man! Good luck!

I have a grandson afraid of water on his head so what I do is I hold him under my arm with my left arm and wash his hair with my right hand in the kitchen sink. That way the water is not touching his face and he is looking at me the whole time and I can sooth him while i'm washing his hair. I use to wash my kids hair that way when they were little.

D., My oldest had an aversion to having her hair washed and taking a bath. To get her into the tub was world war 3. SHe would grab door facings and everything. So one day I dont know what made me think of it but it was raining and I asked her if she wanted to go play in the rain. SO I got her bathing suit out and put it on her and we went outside in the rain. When we went in I then took her and got it the shower with her and she didnt seem to mind it. I made it fun and made up songs for her to sing. She didnt seem to mind after that. But then again when it rained she would go get her bathing suit and want to go out in the rain. Simple solution I put her in the shower and let her play. Well it turned into a treat for her if she was really good. And I ended up having to get a swimming pool for her and putting her in swim lessons. It was a good thing in the long run. Try it but when he gets used to the rain falling on his head you shouldnt have alot of problems. The shower is your only other option in the winter. Unless you want to wait until it starts raining instead of snowing. Hope it works for you. Just turn shower spray on low at first.

My son has this problem too. It has been a struggle, but we FINALLY have worked out a solution that is workable most of the time. We use his favorite washcloth that he covers his eyes with. Then I put my hand in a sort of "visor" position. Then, I spray him with the hose attachment three times. We count as I let the water be on his head for about three seconds. Then I sort of wipe my "visor" hand down the his head from forehead back to wipe any water off that might drip in his eyes. Then we make a weird spitting sound together, kinda like a raspberry, and shake our heads. For some reason the counting and noise makes it less tense for him. I also showed him the bottle of shampoo where it says "No Tears" and explained that the soap is made to NOT hurt. He always asks now at the store if this shampoo or that is "tears or no tears." I hope this helps you. He still hates water in his face but now it isn't a big screamy wet mess.

My daughter was the same way! (She's also 3.) She used to hate having water spill on to her face. Now we ask her to tilt her head backward and close her eyes. We wash her hair as soon as she gets into the tub. It's working for now! Sometimes we'll ask her to pretend to swim like a mermaid - she'll turn over on to her belly and lean her head back so we can get the shampoo out of her hair. Maybe you could ask your son to swim like a frog or fish? Have you thought about purchasing one of those handheld shower heads? We tried that and it worked for a while, but then my daughter decided one day that she hated it. I think we're all pretty much at the mercy of our kids when they're this age. Good luck!

To avoid the battles,I would suggest that you get him a "summer" haircut (a buzz) and keep using the washcloth method. You will save yourself and your son a lot of grief!

I used those dense foam visors (any baby department usually has them) that close with velcro in back. They were very flexible, but could be closed snuggly to prevent water from leaking under. We also would turn the brim up so the kids never saw the water coming down...we'd have them look at the ceiling and it would all drain to the back.

My 2 1/2 yr daughter is the same way, so I just take her in the shower with me and she has no problem getting her hair washed now, we sing Barney's if all the raindrops song and all is well now... i tried that cup with the rubber lip and it was useless, she knew exactly what i was doing and would not sit still using that, so that is just another toy in the bath tub. never tried the visor though because she doesnt like hats and wouldnt leave it on long enough to get her done...
D.

Hi,

My four yr old has the same problem. I solved it by allowing her to put a dish towel over her eyes. We went and bought her a special one just for that. She got to pick it out and we made a big production over it.
I also let her take the shower head (We have a detachable one) and rinse her own hair. (After I've already rinsed it, of course) I theorize the fear is about loss of control, so I gave her some measure of it back. She doesn't have a problem with having her hair washed any longer. She still doesn't like it, but she doesn't throw a temper and bath time is getting fun again for her and myself. I hope this helps.

I used a turkey baster when my kids were small, but it still took till age 7 for my son to be ok with water in his face, we foudn that swimming he does really well with a snorkel mask like someone else said and he showered with it on for a year, lol, but hey it really does work good luck.

I know that feeling! My 4 yr. old is the same way. The only thing that has worked for me is having my husband wash his hair. If I try it he screams at the top of his lungs. My husband can go in there and our son will sit still and quiet and let him wash his hair. He can use a cup to pour the water over his head and everything. I try it and oh boy you'd better get some ear plugs! Try having dad give it a shot. If nothing else works like the visor hat or anything else that somebody suggests then it is going to be one of those deals that you just have to live with a scraming toddler when it comes to washing the hair. I wish you the best of luck!
D.

I am 31 yrs. old. I have been married going on 12 yrs. in Nov. and my husband and I have 3 beautiful boys ages 10,7 and 4. It is nice spacing. A little over 3 yrs. apart.

My seven year old still hates to have his hair washed. The only thing I do is give him a wash cloth that I let him hold over his face. As long as he has the towel he is fine. Good luck!