To Open or Not to Open Gifts

My vote is NEVER open gifts, at any age, at the party. Kids can be MEAN. My son is 12 now and will never forget being 5 and having a snotty little brat open a gift from him at a party and shout out " I already have this with major disgust in his voice !" and toss it aside. He was just devastated. The mom just shrugged her shoulders. I wanted to slap her as well as the kid. It is NOT an opportunity to practice manners. I'm continually amazed at the lack of manners that abound at kid parties so if you think it is an opportunity, think again.
Parties for kids, even as old as ten can be complete chaos , the gifts don't get recorded, cards are separated from gifts and you end up wondering who gave what. It is also horrible if you have a child who has parents who are "well off "and gives an overly fancy gift and one whose parents are struggling to make ends meet and can't afford much.
The gift opening scenario is just rife with potential for disaster in my opinion.
The party is enough for any child. Then they have something to look forward to in a quite environment after the festivities are over.

1 mom found this helpful

I vote no. I think that is pretty boring for the children that age. They want to help-- they want to play with the presents that are opened-- sometimes they don't understand why what they brought is no longer "theirs". I have a friend though that does not like that I do this-- she wants to see my children open the gift. Usually then she lingers and we open her gifts after the other guests have left-- or when there are just a few people left we open the gifts from those people.

PS-- After reading the other responses, I needed to add something in. Some commented that the other PARENTS are disapointed when gifts are NOT opened. Who is the party for? The birthday child, and a chance for the other children to celebrate. This is not a chance for the parents to get gift ideas- I still stand behind my answer- and if you have a friend who will be offended, make sure you open the gift with that friend.
Truly, we put the presents on the dining room table and open one or two a day so she can enjoy them and not be overwhelmed by the whole big pile at once. This has worked well for me. My girls are now 4 & 5. I know that when we attend parties they get very excited and want to help and it is hard to get them "away" from the presents.

A few suggestions-- if you do decide to open gifts-- have an alternative activity such as coloring sheets or get out some puzzles for the friends who are watching. I am considering doing a "kitty party" for my daughter's next birthday. I read a suggestion where the mom set up a circle of chairs for the friends and had them each get their gift. She had them pass around a ball of yarn (since it was a kitty party-- you could do any sort of toy), and played music. When the music stopped, whoever was holding the yarn gave their present to the birthday girl. It kept the children "in their space" and made it into a game. I think two might be young though for that, just some thoughts.
Good luck!
A.

PS-- after reading the other responses, I had to post more. The party is for your child and her friends. Not a chance for the other parents to enjoy gift opening. Do what will be most enjoyable for the children. Just my two cents! The party is for THEM!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi! We stopped opening gifts are parties and it has made a huge difference. First off, at age 2, your little one may or may NOT react happy to a gift and that's always embarrassing. Or, we've accepted many thank you cards for things we didn't give b/c gifts and cards got mixed up.

What we do is open gifts at home then I can write the thank you notes right away and it has been a huge relief to us!

A late entry here!
How about not BRINGING gifts. As you have all said in a way --young children don't really understand gift giving anyhow and the mother is the one who chooses the gift. If the chidren are especially good friends, take a gift at another time.
Just a thought from Grandma.
God bless.

Personally, I like seeing the gifts opened at the party. I've been to a couple and was disappointed when they weren't opened. I like seeing what all the child gets and getting ideas from other parents. At any birthday party we've had, there are only a small handful of gifts anyway. We always invite the aunts, uncles, and grandparents to our house before or after the party to do the family gifts, and the ones from my husband and I we save for the actual birthday. That way only the ones from friends are opened at the party.

Most parties I've been to do not have gifts opened. A few that have been at homes have, but a big production wasn't made. Example - the other kids were coloring or playing while the birthday kid opened gifts. I recently went to a party where the mom asked each of us on the sly if our kid wanted to see their gift opened. I thought that was nice.

Either way, it will be fine. If the birthday kid is only 2, I would wait until later. It truly might be too much for them. One of my kids does not like opening in front of people b/c she doesn't like the attention.
Biggest thing - SEND A THANK YOU NOTE!

I have 3 girls 14, 8 and 4 and one of my biggest pet peeves is when I take my kids to a party and we spend time picking out a gift and they dont let us see them open it.

I would like to see them open it. If not then I am left wondering if the child liked it or not. Plus my girls always love being able to see the friend open the gift and making sure the friend knows its from them.

So please give your guest the pleasure of knowing that the gift was liked.

We open gifts at the party. I feel like people have put a lot of energy into the gift and I want them to see him open it. When I am at parties I want to see the kid open the gifts, for one because I love getting ideas from other peoples gifts, and two because I want to see them open the present we brought. A lot of times we have worked really hard at finding something really special, or have had something made personalized, and we want to see their reactions (or even their parent's reaction if they are too young to give a true reaction). Just my $0.02! Have fun!

K.
Helping MOMS work from home!
http://www.stayinghomeandhaviingfun.com

Hi E.,
I am a child entertainer and therefore, attend many birthday parties. It is about 50/50 when it comes to opening gifts at the party vs. NOT opening gifts at the party.
I know some parents use the opportunity to encourage good manners- saying thank you; being grateful for gifts, etc...
I think you will be fine with either decision.
Just my two cents,
R. B.

When I was young I always opened gifts at the party. Party's were a little simpler then though. If the party is at your house then sure open them, but if the party is timed at a rented place then I would say wait until you get home. You will be able to keep track of who brought what and the kiddo's will have more time to play/celebrate which I'm sure they would rather do. Just make sure you send a Thank You note! So important.

I think whatever you choose will be fine. We didn't have the opportunity to open presents at my son's 2nd birthday b/c the kids (all around his age) were having so much fun, they didn't want to stop playing. The parents I spoke with about it said they preferred not to have the presents opened. Personally, I think it worked out much better for his age. Obviously at 2, the parents have picked out the presents and the kids could probably not care less about them.

So far we have only attended one party (out of many) where the child did not open the gifts and my kids were so upset the child didn't open the present they gave her before we left. Another idea is as you open the child's gift (either during the party or as the guest leaves) give the gift giver their party favor to open/look at.

Good luck! Also, if you do it at the party be sure you have help so the gifts can be recorded correctly for thank yous! :)

I'm with the other mom. We don't open gifts at our parties. We did it once and it was crazy. 1/2 the kids were bored the other half were trying to open the gifts and/or play with the gifts. I'd say 80% of the parties we attend they don't open the gifts either. I think it's common practice these days and speaking for myself, I don't get offended if they don't open the presents. For one, you can preach all you want, but in reality young children really don't understand tact and don't always act excited when they open something or they make a comment and that can be embarassing. Also, it does get chaotic. Twice I've had a thank you note sent to us for the wrong gift.

The new tradition is not to open gifts at children's birthday parties, but it is much to the dismay of the old traditionalists. I really try not to open gifts at my kids' parties because it becomes mayhem quickly. Toy wrappers get opened on toys I would have returned, we lose track of who brought what and it is generally unpleasant for all the adults involved while trying to encourage the kids to use their manners while there is wrapping paper flying about and inevitably someone ends up in tears because the concept of "not mine" is too much for them after cake and ice cream.

I much prefer not to open gifts at the parties, but it is now acceptable either way. It's a matter of personal preference. In other cultures it is down right rude to open gifts at the party and to some here, it is saddening not to get to see the child open the gift they brought for them.

L.

Some moms feel that it's important that each child sees their gift being opened in front of the party and be thanked. I do not agree. I think it just makes the grown ups feel good to do it that away and the children are just tempered to play (and possibly break) with toys that are not theirs. I suppose when they are older it will not be such a big deal but it starts to turn into a childcare setting sometimes and craziness follows when they are so young. I feel a thank you call or card is efficient. I would have to say that I see both about equal with opening or not opening at the parties I attend. Your choice. Happy Birthday wishes to your little one!
C.

For a 2 year old, I would say don't open gifts. That is not the most gracious age =) While the birthday girl may be truly excited for each gift and make no embarassing objections, it's hard on the other little ones to watch. And of course, 2 yr olds are still learning how to share and take turns and don't understand why only one person is getting everything, so there is much potential for fighting over the new toys. Other parents may enjoy seeing the gifts opened, but I think the party should be about and for the kids. If there are just a few gifts, that's not bad, but if there are a lot, I would say wait. Have fun!

My opinion is to open the gifts. The kids who brought the gifts get a lot of excitement in seeing the birthday child opening the gift they brought. I have been to a few parties recently where they didn't open gifts and thought it was kind of rude since I put so much time and effort into picking out something special. If it is the child's manners that are a concern, as others have mentioned, 2 yrs old is NOT too young to expect a thank you for every gift. If you teach your child manners on a daily basis it will never be an issue. I have 5 kids-the youngest just turned 3 and the oldest is 17 and we have never had an issue with gift opening @ parties.

We don't because it seems to cause problems with all the kids not really understanding that they can't play with them. I think it's just the age. I say don't, but that's JMO.

I think a lot depends on the kid and the place. If you are at a place and time is limited, then I would open presents at home, make SURE to send a thank you note, and maybe a picture of your child using/wearing the present. If you are at home and time is unlimited, you might want to open them. My niece used to get very upset when kids would play with her new toys, so my sis in law didn't open presents until later (plus, she had some extended family that would open the package-say it was Barbie stuff-and pieces would get lost b/c of the craziness of the party). I think at the age of 2, either way is ok, again, it depends on the demeanor of your child and the location.

You need to open the gifts. It is rude not to open them at the party. Folks expect it and don't like it when you don't...trust me, this is experience talking!!

VickiS

E.,

Of all the birthday parties my kids have been to, only one mom had her child open gifts. It seems like opening gifts in front of everyone is out. Besides, it's hard for the kids to sit still and watch the b-day person open so many gifts. Also, it is boring for them. In my opinion, save the gift opening for when your daughter gets home.

open them! my boy cares, if no one else does. do it for the kids. i've never seen a bored kid during present opening or rude behavior.

Personally, I think you should open the gifts at the party. My children are always disappointed that the birthday child did not open their gifts in front of them. They want to see that their friend enjoyed the gift the they chose for them.

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Our prices are very reasonable (we have four great kids of our own so we know how expensive things can get)and we do our best to work within a person's buget.

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Give us a call at ###-###-#### if you have any questions at all.

Hope you have a great party whatever you decide to do.

K. Schmidt
Bubbles the Clown
Bubbles and Wowza, LLC

My natural, instinctive response is to say yes, open them. I think people take a lot of time and try to be thoughtful in their gifts (I do). I personally love to see the kiddo open the gift we have picked out and it's fun to see all the other gifts they receive. When I was little, that was the best part of the party! I have been to a few parties, it like seems more and more now, where the kids don't open and I just kind of thought it was rude. Maybe not, RUDE, but I can't think of a better word. There's just something kind of wrong with loading up all the unwrapped gifts and taking them home to open by yourself. I hope that helps. Have fun!

I would say not to open them until your at home. I cannot tell you how many b-day parties I have been too where the parents not the kids were more interested in who bought the most expensive gift and who bought the cheapest. It has become a tacky spectacle I'm embarrased to say. It's all about the kids after all just make sure you send a personalized Thank You card to show your gratitude. I think that would suffice for the people that put time and thought into choosing a gift.