October 15, 2007,
T.S. asks from West End, NC on October 17, 2006
To Have Another or Not?
My husband and I are considering having another child. We have three children now. An 11 year old daughter (from my husbands previous marriage), a 5 year old son (from my previous marriage), and a 20 month old daughter together. Many pro's and con's come with having another baby. I am going back and forth on do I want to go through all that "baby" stuff again...I am busy as it is and then with another baby! However, I also love the idea of another baby to add to our family. We are a close family and the kids all love one another very much. We have the room in our home and I am a stay home mother, so child care is not an issue. Anyone been faced with this decision? I am not getting any younger and if we are going to committ, now is the time! Thanks!
M.B. answers from Charleston on October 19, 2006
If you are healthy and want another child, I think you should go for it if you are both in agreement! I fought with the decision whether or not to have another child at 28! We had 3 beautiful girls, and I was afraid to have another baby after 30 because of the problems all the women in my family had. I'm very glad we decided to try again. I wouldn't have my handsome son if we hadn't! Good luck!
L.W. answers from Birmingham on October 17, 2006
A. answers from Huntsville on October 18, 2006
It sounds to me as if you're heart is on having the baby, but you're not sure if you're going to be able to keep up after all of them. One thing to keep in mind are that your 11 and 5 year olds will be in school a lot of the time. Your eleven-year-old will also soon be reaching a very independent age. She may be able to help some, but then again, she might be off playing with her friends! (You know how teenagers are.)
Just judging from the tone of your letter, you sound as if you really do want a 4th child. And there's nothing wrong with that. You sound as if you've thought it through. I'd say go for it!
S.C. answers from Richmond on October 18, 2006
I don't think anyone can answer this question but you and your husband. I have 4 children between the ages of 5 and 8 months. It's a struggle. They test me every way possible. It's a financial challenge. But I couldn't imagine life without any of them. It would be nice for your daughter to have full brother or sister but I don't know how things are with your stepchildren so perhaps that's all she needs.
L.W. answers from Birmingham on October 17, 2006
I say go for it!!! I would love to have another one myself (I have a 5 yr old and 14 mos old, both girls and I'm 36)!!! BUT, economically, we just can't. We just bought a new house with just 3 bedrooms and I'm not moving again. I say definitely go for it!!! Good Luck!!
T.E. answers from Birmingham on October 18, 2006
Go with your heart! If you want another baby - go for it, everything will work out. Me, I know I only wamt the two and my husband and I agree - I just feel like these two are all I can handle. I think our spirit tells us what we can and can't handle. Good luck!!
S.N. answers from Anniston on October 19, 2006
I have four children and it was a great decision to do so. I feel that having to deal with the troublesom times of infancy is well worth it. To me, seeing a baby grow and learn is so enjoyable and facinating. I also agree that it can be hard, with all of your responsibilities. My husband is interested in having another child, but I am not ready right now, because it is stressful, even hectic, at times. Make sure the decision to have another child is a decision made together. My husband and I are 26 years of age and still have a little while to make that decision. So my advice is that if the two of you would really like to have another child together then that is the right decision. However, if you think about the future, that may be alot of grandchildren to keep up with, just teasing.:)
Have a good day,
Y.M. answers from Richmond on October 17, 2006
I just went through this dilemma. I am 38, and my youngest was 10 yrs old when I decided to have another baby. It was hard because giving up your sleep and going back to all the lugging diaper bags and all that isnt appealing when you are considering it.. but I did it and I dont regret it at all. yes.. it is hard.. and different than the other times I had babies BUT.. it is so worth it. I had the same mind-set you mentioned - I wasnt getting any younger and I knew I needed to do it now if I was going to do it and even though it was tough to go back to the hard work of raising a baby, I am smarter - more prepared and more comfortable as a new parent than I was with the other children and the bonus to all this.. having older children gives you 3 great "helpers" with the new baby!
C.N. answers from Norfolk on October 18, 2006
I am 33 and a proud mother of two boys ages 4 and 16 months. We are considering a 3rd, but we are not 100% sure. I work outside of the home and so we pay a fortune in childcare. Also, both our families live in different states due to our move in the Navy. I contemplate whether we would ever be able to afford childcare or visit our families. I do love the idea of a 3rd. I love my kids. It is a hard decision and we discuss it frequently. I don't have any good advice. We are on hold at least until next summer when we will seriously consider options then. I wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
T.E. answers from Charleston on October 17, 2006
I am a young mother of two and i cant say that ive been debating like you have but all i can say to you is that there is nothing like having a baby its the worlds greatest gift and if you want another go for it you only have one life especially if you have the space and money for the baby.