To Go Back to Work or Continue to Stay at Home

Updated on June 20, 2011
J.K. asks from Glenview, IL
20 answers

I possibly have an opportunity to take a job that would be crazy to pass up. It's a rare opening as a teacher in the school district my children will be attending -- which is a huge plus. I was a teacher up until my 3rd was born 14 months ago. I left my job after #3 was born mainly because my husband was transferred out of state. I now have had the opportunity to stay at home with my kids this past year and I love it! BUT...now I see this dream job opening up and think that there may not be an opportunity like this again anytime soon. I also think about how on 1 income we make ends meet fine but we put little into savings and nothing into our children's college fund. Daycare costs are not too much of an issue...I would still be bringing home plenty of money to make it worth it. The only downside...my kids - my everything!!! I love being home with them and the thought of putting my 14 month old into daycare breaks my heart. I can't decide what to do! Any insight would be helpful. Thanks!

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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

You'll never get this time back, EVER!
there will never be enough money, there never is.
I want to share the everyday little things with my kids, not just the rushed times when I am trying to fit it all in because I am so busy.

I left my dream job because I missed them so much.

3 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would take the job because I loved working and coming home to a house that hadn't been ransacked all day by a hoard of kids running crazy. I liked that I had more time with the kids after dinner and chores were done. I wasn't worn out from running all day to just pick up after them. I loved working and being out of the house and doing something.

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I wouldn't do it but that's just me . . . I missed the early years of my kids' lives due to working and I STILL regret it (and they are 17 & 14 and I've been home with them for 10+ years now).

JMO - good luck with your decision.

PS: With your background have you considered tutoring on the side? We have a tutor for one of my homeschoolers and we just love her to pieces! She was a teacher for 30+ years.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.:.

answers from Phoenix on

I think ultimately you'll have the best of both worlds - you'll have an amazing job that you love & that makes you happy, and you'll still get all that off time with your kids. It sounds like a no brainer to me, honestly. Your 14 month old will do fine in daycare.

I would snatch it up because I think you might end up regretting it if you didn't take it. Let's be honest, the job market/economy has no signs of improving anytime soon & I think that's even more true in the teaching industry. It's not going to do your kids any good to stay home if there is nothing there for them in the future, financially.

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G.S.

answers from Chicago on

I would (and have) stay at home. Our budget is tight, but being home with my kids has definately been the right choice for us. I also am a former teacher and know that typically a lot of work comes home so it really isn't a 8:30-3 job. I have worked at GOOD daycares and knew I would never have put my child in one. The fact that the thought of putting your child into a daycare "breaks you heart" and you "love being at home with them" really answers your question.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

You know what the answer is, take the job. You do have holidays and the summer off. By working you can fund the college funds and still get by even paying for child care.

Yes the kids are little once but they also need to know that there are other people who will love them as well. He/she will be doing things and learning and showing you what they did. There are always ways and places to explore together so you can make memories.

The best to you and your family.

WE do need dedicated teachers.

The other S.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would take the job, we need good people working in our schools, if you do not take it then someone who does not have the same skills as yourself may be the one to take on that position ... are you willing to risk that? Fun kidding aside, I think this is a wonderful opportunity for you to take on and it seems you have it all lined up for greatness anyhow! Go for it!

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

While I know you are looking for a go do this answer. I will ask certain questions that you need to answer.
1)Do you have a back up plan with your husband in the event he would no longer be able to work that would cover the family for at least 3-5 years in the event you would need to look for a job for cover you for financial needs?
2)Would you be satisfied waiting until all are in school full time to begin a search and be okay if there were a hiring freeze in your district?
3)I know you love staying at home with your kids, but does that complete who you are to be happy and everything to your kids or do you always feel something is missing?
4)Do you always have enough to cover emergencies, car repairs, medical bills, tax increases, etc or do you worry alot when an event pops up? Do you have at least 6 months worth of mortgage payments in the bank so umemployement would carry you through in the event he gets laid off from his job?
5)Do your kids have any health issues or disabilities that would be worsened by you going to work?
6)If you have not already applied for the position, it is very possibly already gone and you know your answer already by your actions.
7)If you have applied and are lined up for an interview and know what you'll be wearing or have a shopping day planned for the interview, you have your answer.
8)If the offer is on the table already and you just need to get back to someone decide what will make your heart happiest as the old saying goes
"If Momma ain't happy, ain't no body happy".
Good luck in your decision process. I currently have 3 kids, love every minute I spend with them, I also like going to work and making a difference in two places in the world. I just made sure that the caretaker loves them and respects me so that when I come home they know I am doing the best for all.

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Make a list....pro and con....weigh the benefits of each answer you give...

the financial aspect for your family's future....costs for daycare, etc.

it will be an adjustment for the whole family....however, being a teacher has its own rewards...if this is your dream job - i would take it - you will be teaching your children to follow their dreams and show them what hard work produces....

Your little one will be fine...either way...go with your gut...no one else can make this decision for you!!

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E.M.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the others who recommend taking the job. Remember that a teaching position provides a wonderful, rewarding career, pay, and even more important, benefits, including a pension, that might be necessary in future years(perhaps not, maybe you will have family money to take care of you during retirement). It sounds like you won't have much of a commute, and your children would be in the same district, so you might actually end up being closer to them than if you stayed home! My kids had some time at home and some at daycare. Being home with them was great, but daycare provided incredible socialization, support from the community of parents, etc. My own kids loved going, and especially by 14 months, they needed the stimulation of being with other kids. In any case, best of luck making the decision.

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

Can't believe I'm saying this as a stay at home mom, but I'd take the job. If it truly is your dream job, and if you were planning to return eventually to the workforce, go for it. If it doesn't turn out to be what you expected, you can always stay home again. Opportunities are hard to come by these days, and if your pros outweigh your cons, it sounds like a great plan. I always wished I had a teaching degree because it is a great job to have when you have children, as your work schedule is mostly the same as your kids when they get into school. Of course there are teacher workdays and such, but at least you won't have to pay for tons of summer camps each year! You can be home with them! Good luck and keep us posted on your decision!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

You and hubby are the only ones who can truly make that decission as you know what's best for your family dynamics.

However, IMO you should take the job. Most people never get a chance at their dream job. In addition, keep in mind teaching jobs are being cut everywhere.

R.A.

answers from Providence on

First off, I would write a pro and cons list. That kind of helps put things in perspective. Staying at home with your children is always a plus, especially if you can do it. I don't think it's a question of what is more important( you know that answer already). It also has not been very long since you were working. I think if it was a longer period of time, you might think differently. The fact that it is in the same school district that your children will be attending, is a MAJOR plus. My mother in law taught in the same school as her son. She loved being able to see him off every day and take him home with her. Your dream is inspiring, especially wanting to teach. I think if my dream job landed in front of me, I would consider it a sign. I would go for it, and see what happens.

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R.B.

answers from Chicago on

I just recently turned down a job I would have killed for a couple years ago. But my professional and personal goals are different now that I'm a SAHM with my 2nd child. I do miss lots of things about working, but I also distinctly remember that pit-of-the-stomach feeling of missing out on so much of my 1st child's early childhood because I was at work.

In the end, it's entirely up to you on which thing you'd rather live with missing out on: the daily (and sometimes by-the-minute) challenges and delights that your growing children bring that you might not get all of while at work, or the challenges and delights a classroom can bring that you might miss while at home.

Good luck with your decision!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I would stay at home. I worked as a substitute for many years (never got an actual teaching certificate) and if I could have I would have gone for the certificate and done that full time as a teacher However I think personally it would have been nice to win the lotto.
My children are grown. Every chance I had to be with them I was.
While a lot of people are saying how wonderful it would be because teachers are off in the summer, that is not totally true. They have meetings to attend, updates on certificates, classes to take. In the school year they correct papers when they come home, they plan things, they take extra lunch and after school duties and they work really hard. Well, I don't know what kind of a job you could get and if you feel you are crazy to pass it up, then of course don't. But if you really love being at home, as you know childhood passes so quickly. 14 months will turn into a first grader soon enough. But it sounds like you really want to do it so...get out a notebook and write all the pros and cons out. Then rip it up and follow your gut instinct. Good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

With my first child I had no choice but to put her in daycare so my husband could finish College and get his Doctorate. I could afford to put her in daycare so money was not an issue. I went through that guilt of not being their for her. So when my husband finished College we had our second child and told my husband I don't want to miss out on our son growing up too. So we decided together that I could stay at home since paying for daycare for 2 kids would pretty much take all of my check.

I did miss work but I wanted to have the flexibility of being able to take off and care for my kids, if they were sick and I knew my job wouldn't do that. I did want to do something to make extra cash to help pay for bills but around my kid's schedule. I went searching and found online an option to work at home around my kids schedule and make a few hundred dollars to help cover some bills. My goal is for this job is to make more then I could make at my job that I got a degree for and retire on it. I do know that people love their jobs but if they could make extra cash on the side while doing their dream job they would love that too. If you are interested in the website please email me to see all your options that way you will know after seeing everything you made the best choice to fit You and Your Family. ____@____.com

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

That is such a hard decision. I am not sure what I would do! I think truly if it was my dream job I would take it. I used to LOVE what I did for work (marine biologist) and I miss it. But still...that is such a hard decision to make!

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Wow this is a tough one. I can not believe I am going to say this as normally I encourage the stay at home route. But the fact that you said it is a dream job, makes me think you should pursue it. Not to mention after this past econoic crash we have learned not take good jobs and income for granted. Schools seem to have been hit pretty hard, so even getting an offer right now is pretty cool. And their is a lesson for you children as well, to take oppurtunities by the horn and pursue your dreams. It is that whole living as an example.

Good luck on your decision this can't be an easy one. It sounds to me like either way you go you have some pretty good options.

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K.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I'm a teacher as well and I would absolutely take the job. Teaching is a perfect compromise between career and stay at home. You can still pursue the career you love and grow as a professional and you have lots of time off to be with your family. I also would think of it like this... once your kids all move into school full time, are you planning on going back to work? What are your career goals? If you take too much time off remember you don't get that time back professionally. On the flip side, you don't get this time back with your kids. I know for me, however, I want to have both a career and a family. Teaching allows for that! Good luck!

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

I'm in a very similar situation. The job I want is with a university, and it means working until 6:30 pm Mon - Thurs, but I'd be off Fridays. I didn't like the late hour, but my husband said he would change his hours so he'd be home with the kids in the late afternoon. He said we would find a way to make it work.

It's a unique job, so I might not have another opportunity for quite some time. If I didn't have my husband's support, I would not be considering it.

If you and your husband have a plan, I think you have to go for it. You do still have the option of turning it down if you are offered the job and don't feel right about it.

At this point, you have to go for it!!!

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