To Fly or Not to Fly?

Updated on November 13, 2014
T.F. asks from Laurel, MD
40 answers

We are spending thanksgiving in NYC with my in laws, sense adopting our girls in May we have driven up about 6 times. I hate this. What should be about a four hour drive takes us an average of 6 hours. We use goodnights to try and avoid stopping for the bathroom every hour with the girls but they simply can't sit still for that long. The 4 year old is mostly ok as long as we make sure to give her a coloring book but the two year old really just can't. After an hour and a half she will start to fuss and typically right about the 2 hour mark she will throw a fit screaming and crying and that will upset her sister and they will both scream. We have started just planning to stop at a park every hour and a half but this kills me because I feel like we are just waisting time. Both of us have bad eyesight and loathe driving in the dark so we typically leave right after lunch to try and get there for dinner that evening.

Well, this time MIL has offered to buy us plane tickets. I jumped all over this, normally I would hate to have something paid for but one more long drive and I might go crazy. My wife is worried it will be more stressful than driving. That the strange environment will shake the girls up and make them more likely to throw a fit over something small. I was wondering if anyone has words of wisdom or advice on this? We have to get back to her before the end of the week so she can buy the tickets for us and we are very torn over this. We are really hoping for some insightful advice.

Helpful Edit! Wife comes from a big family and most of them live in NYC, they do Thanksgiving there every year with nearly 60 people so having them down here just won't happen. I don't see us ever spending less time with the family as my family has disowned me and it's important to me the girls know they have unconditional love and support.

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So What Happened?

We have been going back and forth on this for almost 24 hours now. We decided to fly though. We are going to fly tuesday night so that the girls can (hopefully) sleep on the plane. Grandma is also going to mail down a box of special treats (new books, crayons, and her special homemade hard candy for the girls to open the day of the trip so they have new things if something happens and they can't sleep.

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

This summer I took the train with my 3 and 6 year Olds from Boston to DC. It was honestly the best, least stressful mode of travel with little kids. There is a restroom right in the car with you, there are outlets at each seat, and best of all you can get up and walk around! The train that runs along the coast has some great views of the ocean, ships, countryside, cities, it is GREAT!! I would highly recommend it. I know the train goes right into NYC. May be a good option for you.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

I agree with the train from Baltimore. Just know it will be jam-packed!

But I do have to say that if you fly, you are still looking at a lot of time from door to door. And flying around Thanksgiving - UGH!!!!

My suggestion - buy 2 DVD players and a bunch of snacks. My daughter has been doing this trip her entire life (NY to NoVa) and it's always been a breeze with the DVD player.

Good luck!

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B.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Your problem is not to fly or not. It is that you think stopping to take care of your children's needs is a waste of time.

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

ETA: I remember one road trip about 7 years ago - it was hell. An 8 hour drive turned into 13 hours. I would fly.

So since you have adopted your daughters, you've taken them on trips and they have done well, right?

Have you considered the DC to NYC bus that leaves out of Union Station in the AM and gets you to NYC in about 2.5 hours.

A plane will get you from BWI or Reagan (which one are you flying from??) in about 1.5 hours... it's not wasting time in my book. How is flying going to upset them? You will be with them, right? If you freak out - they will freak out. So breathe and calm down... you are stressing out over nothing I would stress over. The flight will be up and down before you know it. You will have more time with the family. Stop worrying about it and enjoy that your MIL wants you there longer and take some stress off you!!

ENJOY!!

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you considered taking the train? We LOVE LOVE LOVE taking the train to NYC and CT to see our family. It has Wifi and outlets to plug in portable DVD players, the kids can move around and don't have to be strapped in. Travelling with kids is all about preparation. If you are upbeat and positive, they will be, too. And if they get anxious and throw a fit, it's ok. It's a short plane ride to NY. Bring treats, toys, and leave extra time for security. Let them run around the boarding area and wear themselves out. Have sippies for landing and take off to help with their ears. You can do this, Momma!

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S.H.

answers from Des Moines on

Flying for a 4 hour drive? Flying will take more than 6 hours, and it is just not worth the hassle. And with a two year old that has crying fits that you can't stop is no place for an airplane...sorry. I couldn't imagine how stressful it would be during take off/landing/seatbelts on (which would be all of your flight) if the two year old freaked out. I am totally with your wife, way more stressful!! I would NOT fly. It is not as easy as you think.

Do you have a DVD player in the car?? We use one only for trips over 2 hours and it is amazing. If not, go get yourself some earplugs and ignore the tantrums in the back ;)

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Eh...flying might be more trouble than it's worth....security, getting there 2 he's early, waiting at the gate, etc. gonna be almost 6 hours soup to nuts.

3 words: portable DVD Player
2 movies and you're there!

I'd focus more on entertainment for the car ride.
Can O. of you sit in the back & read to them?
Can you play Eye Spy?
Count the cars?
Frequent stops but only for 15 minutes at a time.

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

This will get easier! Really it will!

Traveling with little ones is a big ole pain in the butt!!! But it does get easier.

I don't know how our parents did it. We don't even try without a movie for the boys to watch. At 2 years it is a little more challenging, but there are shows 2 year olds like. The shows on Disney Jr, Nick Jr and PBS Sprout are all on DVD, so you can buy a couple of DVD's or check them out at the library.

I think I would try to plan for 2 stops (with the hope of only 1 stop in the future). I do think it's excessive to stop at a park each time. I would stop at a gas station, take a potty break, maybe get a little treat and then hit the road again. It really shouldn't take more than 10 or 15 minutes.

Or you could try for one stop, but make it a McDonald's (or other chain) with a play area.

Really, you just have to hang in there! It IS going to get easier.

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V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

That's life with small children. Really.

I can't speak to whether or not it would be more stressful to deal withe kiddos on a plane or not. Things happen that are outside of your control on planes. Delays on tarmacs, etc.. and during those delays, you are not supposed to be up out of your seat. It's one of the busiest flight times of the year (going into Thanksgiving) so don't expect that everything will go completely smoothly. It might, but be very prepared for it not to.

If you drive (and even if you don't THIS trip, you will again in the future)... you cannot just stick the kids in goodnights and expect them to be ok for 4 hours in a car. You just can't. "I" have a hard time sitting 4 hours in a car... There was a time when I could, but I just can't anymore. I'm only 46, not old.
We used to travel to see family for holidays (and any other time) as well. Except our drive was 5 hours (with no stops). Add stops, add time.
Yes, you SHOULD just go ahead and schedule stops along the way for the kids to stretch their legs. Make use of them and plan them out in advance as much as you can. 1.5 hours in make a 15 minute stop at a book store. The kids can walk around some (in an enclosed inside environment, so the weather won't matter), you can all use the restroom, and maybe even buy a small book for each kid to enjoy for the next part of the ride. That's what we used to do with our kids. It became a tradition. Kids love books. Figure out where you can stop without too large of a detour from your route, and pop into a book store. You can coffee up, potty, etc... It won't be "wasted" time, but enjoyed!

Then plan another stop about another 90-100 miles down the road. Quick. Run into fast food for a drink and potty break. 5 minutes on the playground for the kids... back in the car. No more potty stops needed, everyone is stretched and has had a break from the monotony and you are almost there!

When they get a bit older, they won't need but one stop. And eventually you might make it with none, but by then YOU may be the one needing a potty break or something.
4 hours is too long for little bodies to be strapped into car seats. And if they can't hold their urine for that long (the need for a goodnights?), then they shouldn't HAVE to, nor should they be forced to urinate in a pull up if they are potty trained already. Would YOU pee in a diaper so you didn't have to stop on the way? Didn't think so.

Having kids is wonderful and a blessing. Having kids also means adjusting plans to fit their needs. Mom/Dad no longer come first.

Mom to 2 kiddos... 16 yr & 13 yr.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

Flying will be a nightmare. Can you get a dvd player for the car? My 2 yr old granddaughter just sits and watches movies to pass the time. Other than that driving overnight is your best option. I use to love doing this when the kids were little. They'd fall asleep in the car and when they woke up we were there.

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

Just a couple of things to consider. How long is the flight? How far are you from the airport?

I always plan to get to the airport at least an hour and a half before our flight. With little kids it always takes longer than you think it will to get out of the car, into the airport, checked in, through security, bathroom stops, etc. And remember Thanksgiving is one of the busiest travel times. You probably want to get there earlier.

One winter storm half way across the country can cancel flights and get you stuck in an airport.

By the time you factor in the time it takes to actually get on the plane and then out of the airport it might not be any quicker to fly.

We have flown a lot with our kids. We live about an hour from the airport, but in addition to the hour long drive, I plan at least two hours more for parking the car, unloading carseats when we had them, checking in, going through security, getting to the gate, and going to the bathroom. I'm always a stressed out mess worrying that we won't get to the gate it time. Then it is usually close to an hour by the time the plane is loaded and in the air.

For me, it wouldn't be worth it if it was a short flight. For us, just getting to the point where we are on the plane is 3-4 hours. Rarely can we get out of the airport in less than an hour by the time we get to baggage and get all of our luggage. If you are renting a car add another hour to that time.

It might be worth it to suffer through the drive. Would leaving earlier in the day work better? If the kids are "fresh" it might go better. Definitely have movies or iPad type devices. As far as I'm concerned, on a long car trip all screen time limits are out the window. Go to the dollar store and pick up little surprises that you can wrap and give to the kids when they get fussy. Take bubble stuff. Holding the wand up to the blower makes lots of fun bubbles. Pack special snacks--things they rarely get at home.

We recently took a road trip that normally takes me 4 hours. We left about 9:30 and drove until about 11:30. Stopped for a quick fast food lunch and then took off again. I think we made one potty stop about an hour later. We were home by 2:00. The kids watched movies for most of the drive.

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

wow 6 times in less then 6 months...that is dedication. It sounds like traveling for Thanksgiving is important to both of you. I've done long car trips and moderate and short flights with my kids of various ages.

It sounds like this is about a 50 minute flight since it's a 4 hour drive without kids. Yes I'd fly. You 4 year old will likely be excited to fly same with your 2 year old. Read books about flying to help them prepare. Pic stories for the little ones. Don't FLY when they are tired. 1.5 hours at the airport - lots to keep the kids busy and having them walking all over the airport so they will have the wiggles out (mostly). Do a mid morning flight would be my suggestion. The 2 year old will be wiggly. Bring the car seat and strap her in for the 50 minutes. Have movies or ipad / cell phone with games ready to go. Snacks and drinks...make sure they are hungry that will keep them occupied on the plane for at least 15 minutes lol.

Safe and happy travels!

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

Fly! But be sure to hide any anxiety you may have. Talk about how fun it is going to be. Tell them about getting to order a free drink on the plane (unless of course, you are flying Frontier), getting to look out the window, and wearing a seat belt. Tell them what they will see out the window. Tell them how fun it is when the plane goes airborne and even how much more fun it is when the big plane lands and has to put on its breaks. Pretend with them about how they will lean forward. Start putting away some of their favorite toys so you can pull them out one by one during the flight. Find some new little things for the trip home. And pack some snacks that they never get at home. Hurry and tell your MIL today because Thanksgiving is the most expensive time to fly and they tickets just get higher the closer it gets.

We couldn't afford to fly much but when we did, we made it so much fun that they always looked forward to flying again.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

I find flying short distances pretty easy at any age. At 2, your daughter will be fascinated. Walking thru the airport is interesting to them. Airports have stuff for kids now too. Climbing structures etc. Once on the plane, you can more easily entertain them. And you can get up and go to the bathroom. We fly cross country fairly often and i used to think direct was best but when they're young, a layover is actually interesting to them. So are takeoffs and landings. Of course, ear pressure can be a problem but a decongestant should avoid that. Or feed her something so she chews and swallows. Or maybe at that age you give a bottle... And you have both parents vs one driving and the other trying to reach in back. Since you do this so often, take your MIL up on the offer. I would avoid flying the day before thanksgiving if possible though. It's the busiest day of the year.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Wow - you've gone to NYC 6 times since May?! My parents live 4 hours away, and we haven't seen them since July, mostly b/c the drive is crazy (I95 too) and my kids are in school so we don't have a lot of time. I'm impressed with you for sure. As far as the flights go, TAKE THEM! Your MIL would not offer it if she didn't want to do it. It must be just as important to her as it is to you, that you guys be there for Thanksgiving. If your drive should be 4 hours, you're probably talking about a flight that's less than an hour. Sure, there will be waiting in the airport, etc. But at least the kids can move around there!! Enjoy your flight. And let us know how it goes.

EDIT - Just went and read some of your other responses. There is no way your flight will take 6 hours! From where you live, I'm assuming you'll fly out of BWI and it'll be a direct flight. Yes, you need to factor in the drive time to the airport and the wait for the flight. But not 6 hours! And like I said, your kids won't be strapped down for very long!

Oh, but yeah, Thanksgiving….. Traveling any which way is going to suck. I'm going to need some luck too, and my kids are 11 and 13!

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E.B.

answers from Denver on

I think it's nice that you get to go visit such a large welcoming family, but I don't think that Thanksgiving time is the time to try flying with little kids who aren't seasoned fliers.

I'd drive this time, and relax and enjoy the drive. Get DVD players or kids tablets that will only be used on long car trips, and headphones for each kid.

Ask your MIL to save the flight tickets for a less crowded time and tell her you'll do a practice run with the kids in a couple of months. Then you can see how the kids will like flying.

And don't stress about the driving. Look at it as a time for the whole family to be together. Even if you need to stop frequently, it's a nice time to talk, sing, tell stories. Stopping frequently and listening to ridiculous songs a million times in a row are just part of the whole "we've got kids now" thing!

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I say try the flights this time. If it doesn't work out, then you'll know next time it's easier to drive.

The reality is that it will probably only be slightly shorter in terms of time - leave the house 1.5 hours before the flight, then an hour flight (my guess from Baltimore to NYC), then a little more time waiting for luggage and drive to your family's home. But, since the girls don't have to sit still that entire time, it might be a lot less stressful. They really only have to sit for an hour. Plus, since no one has to drive, you and your wife can each take one child and give them your uninterrupted attention during the hour on the plane, and kids love that.

I have flown with my kids a lot, and I just don't understand why some people think its hard.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Traveling with little kids is very difficult. If your older child is potty trained, it can be counterproductive to put her in Good Nights during the day.

Your children were adopted and are still getting used to their home and their life with you. If the stress of driving adds to the problem of your mood and your wife's, then don't do it. Flying is quicker in some respects, because the scenery changes, but there is no option when they are on the plane and in seat belts (or car seats if you take those - which you should as you will need them on the other end). Ascent and descent can be tough on little ears, and worrying about fussy children can be h*** o* the parents and the other passengers.

If you decide to fly, there are some tricks you can use to keep the kids comfortable and occupied. You'll also want a stroller which can be gate-checked - but there is way too much walking in terminals for children and there's a lot of waiting time due to security.

Truthfully, when people have little kids, they often stop traveling! Instead of buying tickets for you 4, your MIL could buy 2 tickets for herself and your FIL, and some to you! You can have them stay with you if you have room, or they could stay at a local hotel (perhaps one with a continental breakfast or a coffee shop). You have driven to NY 6 times since May? That's 1 trip a month for 4-6 hours each way. I wouldn't do that if my kids were in high school. It's too much.

t think it's time to stay home.

Just tell the grandparents (or have your wife do it since they are her folks) that it's too stressful and time-consuming. If your in-laws are decent people and remember what it was like when they had young children, I'll bet they'll agree that shlepping small kids long distances is a huge pain, and it makes the children often more resentful of the relatives. Having family visit in their own home would be much easier.

If you haven't cooked a Thanksgiving dinner, it's not that hard. If Grandma and Grandpa want to help, great. Or you can go out to dinner if you think your kids can handle it.

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T.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I have done this trip with kids, and I would highly recommend flying. While you probably will spend almost the same amount of time flying, you will be stuck in traffic that will not move for hours on end. It has taken up to 8 hours from Delware (an hour closer), and that was just with one stop. If her family lives on Long Island, fly into McArthur; it is a really easy airport to navigate. Also, if you fly out Thanksgiving morning, it may be less hectic at the airports. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Get in some good exercise before the trip.
Start earlier.
Stop more often and have them run off energy.
Travel during nap time.
DVD' s
New little books, cheap toys, and special little snacks that are used only for long trips to grandma's.
Maybe a little dollar store bag for each of the girls' special stuff.
Favorite CD with songs you can all sing together.
Lastly, stay calm, mom's, and have fun! They can smell fear!!

I would avoid holiday flying. Could be a nightmare!

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

We flew with all three of our kids from birth and it was fine. Sure there were some rough moments but the more you travel with your kids the better travelers they will become.
It's too bad about your eyesight because when we had a long road trip with little ones we always left at 4 AM so they slept for at least the first 3 to 4 hours, it made the trip SO much easier!

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I've done the GA to NJ drive many times with lots of young kids. If you don't want that kind of stopping, you need a DVD player or some kind of entertainment to begin with. Also plan your departure time accordingly. I usually leave 1.5 hours before dinner time. That way I get 1.5 hours in, a stop for dinner, and then back in the car and they fall asleep quickly after that. I then drive through the night. I greatly prefer the night driving with the young children. If that really isn't an option, then time the drive to coincide with nap time. If they don't nap, you're just going to have to accept the frequent stops.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I would absolutely fly. It will be a short flight. Most of the hustle and bustle will be embarking and disembarking. It will be fascinating for the kids to see all the planes, sit in the airplane seats, and generally experience the entire thing.

About a week before, please do drop by your doctor's office and ask that they check both the kids' ears. Make sure there are no infections or fluid behind the eardrum. Treat if needed with decongestent. Flying with a child who cannot clear their ears is MISERY for everyone. Otherwise, y'all will do fine.

Bring along distractions that are special. A tablet with games. Allow them to play on your phone (on airplane mode, of course). Bring special, unusual snacks. Go potty right before getting on the flight, as the airplane bathroom can be a little scary for little ones. Otherwise, it will go by quickly and easily.

Finally, if you do determine that flying won't work out, please don't make the girls wet themselves in goodnights to avoid stopping. I can't imagine the stress I'd feel if I was forced to pee my pants. Especially during a season of life very focused on teaching NOT to pee my pants. Leave earlier in the morning and expect stops. It's not the end of the world.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

Lots of good points and suggestions but I think what people may be forgetting is traffic that weekend can be hell too. So your drive could be twice as long bc of bumper to bumper traffic... Train sounds like a good idea to me but pay for reserved seats. Otherwise almost no chance you get seats together. It's like a cattle rush to get seats. And if I'm delayed, I'd rather be wandering around an airport that has stores and restaurants to interest the kids than trapped in a car in stopped traffic. You could be stuck on the runway too but I've done 6+ hour flights with kids those ages so you can do it. And odds of that are pretty low.

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C.S.

answers from Miami on

Honestly flying will take 4-6 hours also. You will have to get to the airport early, check in luggage (a pain with kids), go through security which means separating kids from loveys and all liquids - even the 2 year old will not be allowed to take a sippy cup through...board the plane, then reverse the process on the other side.

Your girls will get better at this as they get older. Here are some ideas for driving trips (oh, and we drive from Miami to DC twice a year with our kids). Should be about 16 hours but we usually take 17.5 over two days.
I have a 8.5 year old and a 4 year old - boys. We did our first trip with our oldest when he was 5 months old.

Tips:
A parent sits in the back seat. Always.

Both children take a bag of their things - books, small toys, etc.

Go to the dollar store and wrap some small presents or treats. When it gets really unbearable the girls each get a present.

Stop somewhere the girls can run around. Highway rest area is fine. Make it a race - run to potty, pee, wash hands, back outside, run a lap of the restroom building (with mom and dad). Who is first back to car??? Winner dance, get the wigglies out - in the car seats.

From Laurel to NYC I would guess 4.5 -5.5 hours with kiddos. Your 4 year old ought to be able to go 2 hours without going potty if she isn't drinking too much. Your 2 year old I would suggest Pull Ups or Good nights - whatever she is comfortable in and the only extra stop would be if she has a #2 accident.

If you are travelling during nap time - everyone is quiet and radio/DVD is off until kids are asleep.

Take a CD of toddler tunes. They are cheap and everyone sings.

Do a round of Old MacDonald. Everyone participates.

Are they morning children? Leave in the AM - have lunch someplace fun along the way - with a playground!

My other suggestion is take the train!!!

C.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband is like your wife. He thinks flying is too stressful and insists on driving. After driving to Florida with 3 kids this summer, I will not drive a long distance again. If your in laws offered to pay for the tickets, I would be on that. Yes it can be hell to fly. But 3 hours of hell versus all day of in the car hell. Bring something to occupy them with. A special bag of dollar store trinkets that they haven't seen until the flight is helpful. Lots of snacks and a portable DVD player also work well. Get something for them to suck or chew on takeoff to help the ears. And make a big deal about flying and how exciting it is.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Once you have kids, at some point you need to start having holidays at your home and stop traveling - let others come to you.
Maybe you'll start doing that in a few years.
If your eyesight was not an issue, what many will do for a long drive is to drive over night while the kids sleep right through it.
An other option is to get a dvd player and have them watch 2 movies while you drive - kid zone out pretty well when watching a show.
Stop every 2 hours (about halfway through) to stretch and take a bathroom break.
Our son usually loves car rides - sleeps easily in moving vehicles - but at around 2 yrs old he got car sick on long trips.
Dramamine took care of that.

I'm not big on traveling for holidays (can't you tell?) but you could not PAY me to get near an airport during Thanksgiving!

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

If you don't mind fast food, figure out where and which play areas are on the way. That way you can combine bathroom break with playing for a bit, and grab a yogurt tube for the kids. And you're still on the main road to where you're going and not trying to find a park in an area you don't know.

Even if the flight is only 2 hours, you still have to get there at least an hour early, deal with check-in; boarding, etc. It'll work out the same.

Don't know if you have an ipad or something like that, but it may be worth it for the long drive. Stop when the fussing STARTS instead of when she's lost it.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

If any trip is 2+ hr drive we fly. We fly a lot and have since our 19yr old was an infant.

It's a no brainer for me. It can't hurt you to try it but by now you are looking at height fares because of the time frame. Make your decision sooner than later due best flight options!!

We also have friends who are adamant drivers and drive everywhere. They have 3 kids and leave at bedtime so they sleep all night.

You got good info regarding stops and things to do.

It depends on you, your patience, and what is it worth to you?? Little ones pick up on it when parents are stressed and nervous.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

I understand the desire to not have to travel long distances, especially at the holidays, but every time we drove to visit family we just planned in about a 10- 20 minute stop every 2 hours or so.... (we have 4 kids, so I sure do understand the stress of traveling with children.)

Heck, even now when we drive long distances, we stop about every 2 hours.... (No kids involved, just hubby and I).

We would make it a quick stop at a rest stop, if possible, (depending on the weather), so the kids could get out and run a bit.

When we drive from Texas to Kansas (about a 12 hour drive to get to our destination), we have traditional places we stop. We've been doing this for about 20 years now.

As far as flying vs driving, frankly, it may take just about as long. Most airports recommend getting there 2 hours before your flight leaves to allow extra time to get through check-in and security.

What about taking the train? I realize it isn't that much faster than driving, but it would be less stressful, and allow a new experience for your daughters. Pack a backpack for each child with special things for them, and a few new items in a tote that you carry, that you can bring out when they are getting restless. You can easily bring snacks and drinks for the kids that way. Less security hassles, too, I'm sure.

1 mom found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Why not take the train?

:)

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I am about an hour south of you in MD, if that far, and I'd drive to NY over fly for sure. The hassle of getting in to BWI, parking, security, waiting for the flight, and then having to wait for our bags in NY, wait for a ride (or rent a car), etc....I would drive. I had business travel in Long Island three years ago this December and all but one of us opted to drive.

For a 4 hour car ride, have them go to the bathroom before you get in, make one pit stop, and keep going. I drive 8 hours one way with my kids and we stop once. They have been doing this since they were 5, 7, and 9...so it's very doable.

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D..

answers from Miami on

Just the thought of 60 people and 2 children who are as antsy as yours makes me wonder how you can stand to go through Thanksgiving, much less do the drive.

If I were you, I'd try the flight and see how it goes. You could consider doing this trip every OTHER year until the kids get older.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Fly. They'll love it. Both my girls love flying (5 and 7 yo).

Or, take the train.

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M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I'd try flying but carry a TON of brand new stuff the girls have never seen and don't see until they are in the airport and on the plane: Books, coloring books, games on your phone or computer, a new stuffed toy each, stuff to do with their hands. Carry a lot to distract them and even then, pack a ton of patience.

I still think it's not advisable to fly over Thanksgiving, period, ever. And I think you are still adjusting, yourself, to the idea that kids this young must stop very frequently -- it's not what adults are used to doing and you're seeing it as a time-waster when it's just how things have to be....But you can try flying this time IF you embrace the idea that a delay in flights could strand you all in an airport and you can be more patient with that than with stops on the road.

Bigger picture: This would be your seventh trip in about seven months from what you describe.

Think about it. You're making this long drive every month on average. In all seriousness, if you and your wife truly are this close to her family (and you don't have a family on your side), have you considered moving up where they are? It truly sounds like it would be good for you, her and your kids, and would stop the stress of traveling this often. If a job is the issue, yes, that makes things tougher, but you could at least start planning now so that eventually you can make this move even if it means a few years of prep to change jobs. Moving to be closer to your wife's family sounds like a better long-term plan since you say yourself, "I don't see us ever spending less time with the family."

You're new to parenting these girls and right now they're young and pretty much go where you tell them to. But eventually they will be the ones whose schedules take over more of your time. Before you know it, your girls will be involved in school events, Girl Scouts, church groups, sports, dance, whatever - and you will find that you will indeed be making a lot fewer trips because the girls' interests, things that make them who they are, mean you have less time to travel. So that's why moving could make sense, before the girls are forging their own interests and activities and you hear, "But that's the weekend of the church campout/dance recital/soccer tournament--we can't go to NY that weekend!"....

Also, if you are closer to the relatives, then relatives would be close enough to come to YOU to see your kids in recitals, or school plays, or playing sports. Wouldn't that be great? ...I know, the question was about flying and I answered that, but just wanted to note that with a closely knit family, if you can get up there before your girls are a lot older, you and the girls and the relatives all may benefit.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

T.. Just realize, that your travel day in total won't really be any shorter. When you factor in the time to get to the airport, check in, get to your gate, get on the plane, fly, get off the plane, collect your luggage, get a taxi, get to where you are going, you just about break even.

We've taken three flights with our son, 5hrs to the Dominican Republic when he was 6 months old, 26hrs to Australia when he was just under two, and 7 hrs to England when he was 3.5. Each age presented it's own unique challenges. It can be done though.

Best,
F. B.

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V.T.

answers from Washington DC on

I just flew with my 5 year old and my 2 year old twins. They loved flying. It was exciting and they did awesome. When I flew with my daughter when she was younger, I would buy a giant Kit Kat and every 15 minutes or so that she was good, she got a stick. Now they have the Kit Kat minis, which can serve the same purpose. Since she doesn't eat them often it was a great treat.

As for driving, I have restless children too as we usually don't do long drives. Driving to Jersey this summer, I used a DVD player and bought a brand new DVD. It was Dora, my daughter "hated" it, but somehow enjoyed watching it, and my boys were in love. If my daughter didn't have to stop to go to the bathroom, I could of made the trip without stopping.

It's a stressful weekend anyway and you have all those people flying and driving. I think either way you are going to have kid meltdowns, it just when and where you want to have them. Have you thought about the train? Does Amtrak go near your destination? On the train, the kids can get up and move around a little more, and there are sights to see out the window. It maybe harder with luggage though.

We surprised my kids with a trip, so they were unaware until the day before that we were flying. However, since we live right near Dulles airport we see planes fly over head all day long. I would have them get all excited over seeing planes. It was to the point the begged to go on a plane. Something to think about if you decide to fly. I'm sure in Laurel you get planes from BWI flying overhead often.

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't know if flying would be shorter or not. With having to get to the airport so much earlier, plus travel around the holidays (especially Thanksgiving where pretty much everyone arrives and leaves on the same days) can be really hectic and with delays. I can only imagine BWI being crazy busy. Throw any kind of weather into the mix and driving might be easier. Plus you have to worry about carseats. But then again, the girls might love a plane ride. Can you do a movie in the car maybe? If the younger is still rearfacing can you safely put a DVD player where she can see it. I've been blessed with great car kids so not much personal experience but for a 4 hr drive I do a movie, lots of different kind of snacks and yes more than their share of junk food as its something different so it keeps them occupied, and a stop at McDonalds or someplace for a play ground though for just a few minutes. We drove from Columbia, MD to Texas, a 20 hr trip, when my son was 5 weeks old. Stopped to feed roughly every 2 hours. We did it again when he was around 2 and he did fine again. I did the mini snack packs so he could pick something different and it was like a present. It's going to be stressful either way, I think, but I'm jealous that you get to spend it with extended family. :-) But definitely, stopping for 10-15 minutes every 2 hours will be good for the kids and it should only be one stop. Maybe start a tradition of doing something special in the car every Thanksgiving when you go to see them. Is there any one place between here and there that's about mid point that you could build up so they would be excited to go to? 2 hr waiting is much better than 4. I'm sure when they are older they will have fun memories of making this trip.

Good luck. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Try the flight. Let us know how it goes.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Flying over Thanksgiving is nuts. You think a six hour drive is bad, try flying over Thanksgiving. Kids need to get out about every two hours. Also, what about naps. They must nap in the car. Do you have an iPad so they can watch a movie? It seems like this is a trip you will do often, so they might as well get used to it.

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