19 answers

Tmi - Beverly Hills,CA

What do you do when in-laws or acquaintances (people who you are forced to be around but aren't exactly your close friends or family) provide TMI? I find this happens A LOT, i.e. someone told me she had sand in her "crotch." (seriously?) And do I really need to know that somebody's milk came in? I just had my 3rd baby - yeah I know that happens.

I'm from a conservative family so while we talk openly amongst ourselves, we don't spill those details to just anyone. I find myself smiling politely when it happens, but I really want to say, "Can you just stop talking?" Do you ever tell people (even a MIL) when it's just TMI?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I think everyone really does have different levels of TMI. I think those comments are on the mild end.

2 moms found this helpful

Are these random strangers or people you know?

Either way I suggest you either get comfortable saying something like, "TMI alert!", or just deal. I don't know anyone the examples you gave would bother. You are the one uncomfortable so you will have to be the one to speak up when offended.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Guess I don't have this problem, not a lot of things bother me...I mean, we all have a body, right?

5 moms found this helpful

I say, while smiling/laughing.. "Okay, that's just a little more than I needed to know! " Maybe cover your ears and say, "la la la..."

My one relative however, is always telling me about her bowel movements and such. I can be a little more blunt/rude with her and just say, "Seriously, that's gross.... stop telling me that. I don't want or need to know."

5 moms found this helpful

I agree with the joking approach...just say "whoa! hold on...too much information!" Say it in a funny voice, but they'll get the idea and because you were joking usually avoids anyone getting offended. You may be doing them a favor...they don't have enough common sense or manners to know what should or not should be discussed openly. This may help them figure that out.

4 moms found this helpful

Hold on a second....still wiping.

3 moms found this helpful

You mean like this example?:

Setting:
Easter dinner at my house.
25 people attending.
Both sides of our family.
MIL details her sister's latest medical emergency complete with details like "there was BLOOD squirting out of her BUM...it squirted all over the WALL!"

Like that?

Honestly, this particular woman is SO lacking in "filter" that I have said "No one wants to hear that." or "This is not the time or place for that." straight out. This was one of those times.

She is also the one who insists on fighting with my FIL at our house, in front of us. Or she did until I told her very plainly "No one wants to hear this. And if you want to continue, you'll have to leave and do it at home." That ended THAT, at least.

As for the garden-variety TMI-ers, that insist on detailing periods, injuries, etc., depending on time/place/etc. I might just respond with a brief "eewe" or a blank stare or a subject change. The "subject change" done immediately and signaling COMPLETE change in topic is particularly effective.
Example:
TMI: "There was BLOOD squirting ON the WALLS!"
Reply "Did you watch DWTS last night? Gladys Knight was Awesome!"

2 moms found this helpful

i guess everyone has different thresholds for what they consider TMI. it sounds like yours is pretty low, so it's probably a good idea to find a humorous/courteous way to say 'no thanks.' there are some good suggestions here.
my family is much more open than my husband's, and i take that into consideration.
i'm finding that tolerance levels depend largely on where one is in life too. when i was a young mother i so loved exchanging birth stories with other young mothers. now i'd rather roll in my own puke than listen to one more episiotomy tale, or indulge in diaper content comparisons.
like most folks, i still look askance at older people whose entire conversational repertoire consists of detailing their various ailments. i was telling that to my favorite aunt (she's only 10 years older than i, more like a big sister) and she said 'oh suzy, you just don't get it. i call it 'the organ recital.' when we old gals get together, we have a WONDERFUL time sharing and exclaiming over our various aches and pains. you'll understand when you get here.'
i'm refusing to believe her.....yet.
:) khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful

I think everyone really does have different levels of TMI. I think those comments are on the mild end.

2 moms found this helpful

I think alot of families are mroe open about things then others, and might not consider it TMI. For example my family is very open about sex. My husbands family isn't. My family was making a lot of sexualy based jokes at my baby shower for my first born and I could tell that my husband's aunt was really uncomfortable. It just depends on how you were raised, but your inlaws might not think its TMI. I don't think someone mentioning their milk is coming in TMI.

2 moms found this helpful

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