Tired and Sleep

Oh gosh. I'm with you on this. I have a 6 month old and I'm just exhausted all the time -- I feel like a drone. I get up late for work and I go to bed around 9 -- its pathetic. I don't get much help from daddy, so its all me, all the time. I think there are two things I could do to make it better: 1) Demand that daddy helps out more. Give specific instructions (most men just don't get it unless it is specific) 2) Get exercise.

Do you get help from daddy? Do you exercise regularly? I don't, but I should. I know both would greatly help. When I exercise I have a lot more energy, and if daddy would take even one night a week to take care of her, I would be able to get some quiet.

My sister (who has a two year old) is always tired too -- she says its because mommy is "on" all the time and never gets time to wind down.

I don't know what other advice to give you. I'm in the same boat and didn't expect to be so exhausted. Good luck.

I know this sounds cruel... and I'm sure there are moms out there who will disagree (to put it mildly). But those are probably the moms whose kids slept through the night from day one. Besides my pediatrician (father of 2) gave me the same advice soo...

Let your baby cry it out. At this point it will be a little more difficult b/c she can sit and stand up. But I promise after less than a week of heartache, everyone will be sleeping through the night. I have two kids and let the night time wake ups go too far for each. We didn't let my son cry it out until he was 10 mths and my daughter until she was like 12 mnths... but now (barring any sickness) they sleep through the night.

However you decide to sleep train, stick to one method and don't change things up. That will just confuse your baby. I tried the pick-up/put down method and it just didn't work at all.

good luck!

Hi Alison,

I feel your pain.... My son who will be 21 months on the 20th, woke up at least four times a night from birth. It can become so stressful when I have to be up at 4:50am in order to get ready for work. I have literally felt like a walking-talking zombie. ;-( My joke to everyone is, "I haven't slept in 20 months." However, for the past week, he has awaken only twice. TWICE in SEVEN DAYS... AHHHH sleep has come a knocking... LOL.. When he has awaken, it has been for less than a minute and only to ask for his pacifier. I have not gotten out of bed because I knew the pacifier was in the crib with him, he finds it and back to sleep he goes. So long story short, Sleep will come a knocking on your door too, just give it time.

Have you tried changing her diet, fussiness can come from that too. I had no clue my son had allergies to soy, milk, eggs and peanuts. He showed no signs except for a nagging night time cough that kept the entire household up at night. This happened for thirteen months. MD kept telling me that he can not possibly be sick every night and that he must be spoiled. YEAH OK... I asked her to test him, only because I wanted to give him peanut butter, and bam, the solution to the coughing came. We changed his diet and he was no longer coughing at night, but now he was so used to being up that he just complained about anything so that I would go to his room.

During the day, children, no matter how old require a lot of interaction. Are her toys at her reach? I have set play times with my son. However, when I am in the kitchen he has his Leap Frog Fridge radio and can sing his ABCs and dance while he is in the kitchen with me, of course this requires my participation, so dancing and singing is a kitchen routine for me now too. I also enrolled him in a kiddie gym since he was 6 months old. So he has 1 hr on Saturdays to burn some energy. We also did swimming lessons for the warmer months, again an energy burner. Try the touch and feel flash cards, this keeps my son entertained for a while, even on his own.

If you need more ideas, feel free to send me a message.
I wish you the best of luck and Happy Holidays.

D.

Allison,

I know exactly what you mean. My children are spaced such that I haven't gotten a full night's sleep in 9 1/2 years...no kidding. Plus, I've changed diapers every day of those 9 1/2 years...always have at least one in diapers. It is exhausting, no doubt. I guess you eventually get used to the lack of adequate sleep, not that it is easy, it just becomes your new normal. I think it is important to be on really good vitamins...really good, not necessarily really expensive. They make a big difference. Buying them from the stores is pointless because your body cannot absorb them, but I get mine from www.melaleuca.com and they are proven to be the best out there, and a month's supply is $20 so that is really reasonable. You should check them out. Could help.

Just know that you are not alone...every mom feels that way...it does get better, but I wouldn't say in 15 months. Give your baby another year or so and you should see a bigger difference, then by the time she is old enough for preschool you should feel back to normal. Just in time to have another one and start the tiring cycle all over again:)

D.
happily exhausted mom of 5 with one more coming in March

my son is 13 months and he is just beginning to sleep at night starting at 9pm to 7am getting up to fuss but falls back asleep....it wasn't always this way
I had to keep him in the crib
pat him on his back
fall asleep next to his crib
now I am my bed and and I really don't have to get up he can soothe himself
it gets better but its takes alot of routine creation and habit breaking.

I feel your pain :( my son did not sleep through the night until he was 15 months old. I would suggest reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It saved my sanity. I hope this helps!

http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...

I know how you feel b/c people used to constantly tell me it will get better and it wasn't. It made me feel worse that things weren't getting better b/c everyone else thought it should! Anyway, my son is now 3 and I can finally say it got better. For us, it was around 2 yrs, once all his teeth were in. That is when he finally started napping and sleeping through the night on a regular basis. I want another but am enjoying sleep and being sane for now.

Hi Alison,
I know that your tiredness is part of the what happens when you are stressed and your body is re-couperating from the birthing. Most Mothers feel this way and think it the norm. However, those who replenish their nutrition that was taken from their bodies for their babies growth, find that they are less tired and enjoying their new life a lot. I was one of them.

I have always believed in taking care of myself and I lost that initially when I gave birth to two gorgeous twin girls over 27 years ago. It takes @ 1 1/2 years for your body to recouperate from one child, much less two!~ However, I was inspired to get back to myself and take care of "me" with supplementing the nutrition that "food" could not give me.

There are no more trace minerals in the soil. So this is the biggest nutritional piece MISSING from EVERYONE'S DIET! I am a freak about this. People's energy changes when they get what they need to run "their" body. DO you think your car can run without the oil? or try- no gas!

So things like trace minerals, omega 3,6 and 9s, B12, and other basics you may already get from your foods are critical. SO examine your diet first, then get what you need. Then see if your energy is better.

If you want help with this for free, I do Life Style consulting and mentoring and do have some high quality companies that can supply you with what you need, if you need that resource.

If you are serious about doing something about this and not just "talking" about it...feel free to call me or email me. I help only the volunteers who want my help. I am too busy to waste my time if you do not want to really take care of yourself. You know, you can not care for your loved ones, until you are balanced and can care for yourself. Hence the old saying..God helps those who help themselves.

Call me at ###-###-#### or email me at ____@____.com

God Bless and Good Luck!
M.

Alison,

Being a mom is the most difficult job and at the same time the most rewarding job in the world. You are nurse, doctor, cook, entertainer, maid, psychologist all wrapped up into one so yes it is exhausting. Anyone expected to do all of these jobs in a day would surely be tired. If the baby cries all of the time is it possible she is not getting enough sleep at night. Have you tried some sleep training techniques this way at least your sleeping well at night to prepare you for the next day ahead. If you think you can handle it because it is difficult to do the Ferber method really works and is a method that teaches your child to fall asleep independently and most of all learn to self soothe. This is a great tool for children when they do wake during the night so they can learn to put themselves back to sleep independently. Many parents do not believe in it and as I said it is personal choice. However if done properly is not harmful to your baby and can make a huge difference. Some women can function with no sleep I am not one of them so I did it with my kids (now 24 & 19) and they don't hate me for it. They didn't grow up to be serial killers or disconnected from me. It was just something my husband and I chose to do for our family. You sound like you are at your wits end and I was too. I was also a stay at home mom so being with your kids all day and then not having any down time at night can be tough for some women. I needed my evenings for myself and my husband for my sanity. It will get better as she learns to entertain herself and have more independent play. But make sure she is well rested that can be the key to solving the crankiness all day. When your husband comes home is there any way he can take over and you can catch a nap? Hope this helps. Good luck and Happy Holidays!!

Hi Alison,

I'm in the same boat, my son is 15 months and still wake's during the night. Always fussy... I've been trying to use the ferber (spelling?) method. From my understanding it's suppose to get easier. I'm just hoping it's soon. I'm always tired, my house is a mess and I work full time. I think a lot of my son's night wakings is from teething. I use these teething tablet and he usually goes right back to sleep.

Yes it does get better, my girls are 3 1/2 years apart, think it was 6 years before i had a decet nights sleep. I was a walking zombie, lol, but I would not trade any of it, because they have turned out to be beautiful young ladies.

Hi Alison
Congrats on your lovely daughter!
Always mention to MD what is going on, MD may see reason. Not always. MD always told me mine were fine, growing, healthy and smart. Mine were also not exhausted, cranky or miserable! They did not require a lot of sleep. It all started big time around 15 months, but there were earlier signs. I told my MD that I required more sleep than they did. They were sure that was possible.
The brief story. Lots more to tell inspite of the length!!
We told our then 4yo he could not get his 5 mo brother out of the crib. The long and the short is, he had not. Our younger son had shimmied up one side of the crib and down the other crawling over to his brother's bed and climbing in.
Setting up the other twin bed, he loved that and never fell out.
Walking at 7 months, and not having vocab to accommodate I was always chasing. By about 15 months we weren't getting much sleep so we decided no nap to lengthen the sleep time. By about 20 months, he would be sleeping about 6 hours and I told the MD that it was difficult to get anything done, he was so busy. MD did offer me meds about then. I refused, as far as I am concerned all they did was dull the brain. He's so bright, I didn't want to do that. By 2 1/2 he only slept 2 hours in 24 and I required more sleep, we got into bed and he ran around our bed from dad's face to mine all night. He went to bed so good at 8 PM, and we went about 10, he got up then and the night started. We figured we were not chasing him, and we were at least off our feet, and knew where he was.
Did it get easier? yes. Was there a quick fix? no.
At 4 we made him stay on his bed with flashlight and books. When he learned to read we are not sure, but entering preschool he could read the newspaper. The teacher asked me how long he had been reading.
He has never on a consistent basis slept more than 2 hours in 24. Today he is a lawyer, married, with child of his own, still only requiring 2 hours in 24.
Our daughter stayed at the 6 hours in 24 and is in college today, studying art. When we made her stay in her bed she started drawing. What an artist! She says the dorm is too noisy for sleeping and doesn't bother, we are waiting for her grades but she is hoping for a straight 4.0. What more could we expect!!!! She is sleeping now as she arrived home for Christmas break. Did it get easier, yes because they learned to entertain themselves, or they went away.
My husband is a saint, and would take the boys when he realized I just needed sleep. Then I could cope again.
The two above were kids who want/wanted to do everything to their very best. Almost perfectionist personalities. I guess we let them do their best, and I am thankful today, but there were long difficult days in the middle. I don't think we raise our children for being children, but for the adults they will become. That thought always helped me get through.
Our other 2 slept more normally and are perhaps like yours who knows but at 18 months both slept 8-10 hours and life was much easier. They were satisfied with 96, if it would take 4 hours to get a 97, if that makes sense. Today they too are successful, one is a college coach, and the other is in college studying journalism.
Hope our story helps you to use opportunities, take advantage of your situation, and when it is tough, think of the end result and see that you can raise your children to be the best people the can be as adults. No child is the average child you read about in books.
I tell everyone, since you are young enough to be my daughter talk to your mom, she may have some great stories to tell you.

God bless you with peace and understanding.
K. SAHM married 38 years=== adult children 37 coach, 32 lawyer, twins 18 and in college after years of homeschooling.

Hi Alison!

This might be the last thing you want to hear right now but it does get better, with time.
Motherhood is a hard job. It's physically and mentally tiring. I remember feeling tired all the time and angry at my baby, my husband and myself.... All at the same time. I used to complain a lot (I still do though) and people alway told me...."Things get better....
What you need is to tell (not ask) your husband to stay with the baby while you sleep. She cries, let him handle it. She's hungry, let him feed her... We, as moms, must learn to delegate responsabilities to our wonderful husbands. Some times we want to do everything ourselves and it's not possible. Go ahead and don't feel guilty. You'll feel better and if you're happy everything comes easier. I'm not saying that she'll never wake you up in the middle of the night but definitely things will be different.
I hope this help,
Jess

Hi,
my 1st slept through the night at about 3 months. my 2nd, didn't sleep through until 11 months old!
Have you tried to ignore her when she fusses at night? She shouldn't want anything to eat/drink - if she's fussing around the same time at night, then she's in that funny routine.
You don't need to check on her if she's fussing - just like your husband grunts or snores - he is just making noises while he sleeps like your baby does.

It will get better when the baby gets some sleep. There are many techniques out there...pick what works for you.

My Son is 2 1/2 and still wakes up during the night (Due to dreams or getting tangled in his blanket). I'm sure it must get better eventually.Hang in there!