Tips/Suggestions On Getting 4 Y/o to Nap at Preschool/daycare

Updated on March 26, 2010
M.B. asks from Phoenix, AZ
14 answers

First off, thanks to all the wonderful moms who answered my previously posted question about helping my 4 y/o daughter transition from home care (was with her babysitter since she was 2 months old) into preschool. I want to say that today was a better day in that she didn't cry as much when I dropped her off. Right now we're just taking it one day at a time. I've spoken with her teacher and my daughter is doing great in preschool, but the biggest issue is getting her to either stay quiet or nap during nap time. My daughter wasn't used to taking naps anymore, so this is huge for her. The students don't have to nap, but they must remain quiet during this 2 hour period. My daughter starts to cry as soon as it's nap time and doesn't want to sit nor lay down quietly. Is my daughter too old for naps and should I ask the school to have her do some kind of activity instead? I would not mind if she did nap because she's a very active child and could certainly use the extra rest. Thing is I don't know if I'm being too demanding in asking that she take a nap. I've sent her to school with her blanket and a pet pillow in hopes that she can at least lay there quietly. Is it just a matter of giving my daughter more time to adjust to her new schedule? The school staff understands that this is a big transition for her and is asking that I help out as best as I can. Suggestions?

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S.X.

answers from Chicago on

we have the same issue. my son hasn't napped in 2 yrs and i guess its IL law they rest for an hr. they compromise at about 30/40 min allow him to read. it just ain't gonna happen. but 2 hrs seems very long time for that age.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Ok, 2 hours seems like a very long time for a nap at 4 years old. My kids were done with naps at 2 years old. If she starts Kindergarten next year, you don't want her to start naps again and fall asleep in class. That happened with a child in my daughters class and they held her back a year because she missed so much because she was asleep. Even having a 4 year old be quiet for 2 straight hours is asking a lot. A 4 year old attention span is only so long. I would find out what activities she is allowed to do. I would think she would need several activities. I'm sure she would get bored of looking at/ reading books for the first hour. Can she do puzzles, coloring, crafts or something else ?? Is this preschool or daycare? I wouldn't pay to have my kids sleeping when they should be learning.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Does she read at all? My daughter was reading fluently at age 4, and had long since given up naps in all but the most exhausting days and then only if she happened to be strapped into her car seat.

When she entered K-4, and occasionally stayed past the noon pick-up so I could run errands (they had "after-care" for kids that would stay to be picked up later), all the kids ate lunch then had a mandatory nap time. They turned the lights low, put on soft quiet music, everyone had a nap mat. My daughter was WIDE AWAKE. Since she was a very well behaved child, and it was evident that she wasn't going to sleep (but would lay quietly and just be bored to death), they allowed her to put her nap mat in the back corner away from the other children and lie down and read books. Out of maybe 15 times she stayed in aftercare until 3:00 pm, over the course of the year... she fell asleep ONE TIME.

Any chance your daughter has some books she can look at quietly?

1 mom found this helpful

I.M.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
this is my thing with a 4yr old napping at the day care. Next year she will be going to kinder, she'll be 5 and there is no napping there. So making her nap now and getting used to a nap during school time, will be much more difficult for her when kinder comes.
I would ask the school to give her something to do, maybe she can do puzzles, color, read books, etc. Other things that can distract her and keep her quiet.
When my daughter was in kinder, there was a little boy that it didn't matter what was going on, he would fall asleep as quick as nothing! All because he was used to the naps from birth and in pre-k. If your daughter is already used to not napping why make her? She will get home with even more energy and will probably give you a hard time going to bed because she is not sleepy.
Just try to get her to do different things so she won't be bored either. Not for nothing, but I think a 2hr nap is a little two long for a 4yr old at daycare. But I could be wrong. Hope all works out for you.

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C.L.

answers from Phoenix on

Wow not sure about the nap time requirement at the day care. It seems like a very long period of time for naps. I would ask if they have a craft table that can be used during this time for your daughter. I would also call other schools to see what things they do for kids that don't take naps and ask how long their nap schedule is.

good luck.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

It was written in my State regulations that every child 5 years old and under was required to have a rest time. If the licensing worker came in for inspection and there were children not laying down I could have be written up.

We were not allowed to make them stay on their cots but they had to try for at least a bit. Our nap time was from the end of lunch to about 2:30, that's when I left to go get school kids and the noise level was going to explode...LOL. Most older kids started waking up around 2 and we just had then do very quiet things.

By the way, kids still take naps the first half of Kindergarten, most don't go to sleep but they have a down time for them on their mats.

K.I.

answers from Spokane on

2 hours is a long time for a 4 yr old to stay quiet when they no longer take naps....how about packing her some special books and/or coloring books or puzzles she could work on during nap time? Something new, she has never seen to distract her while she is settling into this new routine? I think she will probably catch on and stop with the crying once she realizes she can do other things as long as she is quiet and not disturbing others. Just practice at home with being quiet and using her "soft voice" and try to help her understand that the other kids need their sleepy time, so she must not disturb the other kids...maybe that would help a bit??

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S.T.

answers from Phoenix on

ok sounds normal to me, i work for a daycare yes they are suppose to lay down for two hours and they need to try to be quiet for the other children that are sleeping, yes not all of them nap around and yes they are not always quiet. You are doing the right thing with helping the best you can, like someone else said the teachers try to find a perfect spot where they can be quiet and not disturb another child, the teachers also may give them a book to lay on their matt to keep them quiet. Yes if the child is has not been in preschool/daycare it will take them awhile to get adjusted and yes they will cry, even with the naptime the kids will cry, in the four year old classroom for the daycare i work at if a certain teacher leaves, two certain kids will start crying even though the same teachers have been in the classroom before, good luck and you are doing good with what you are doing.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

Your DD has to stay quiet for 2 whole hours?? Call me crazy, but my kids were never quiet for 5 mins in a row, much less an hour and certainly not two hours in a row. YES, talk to the teacher about doing activities instead....they can't force her to sleep if she's not tired, nor should they even try, IMHO.

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B.J.

answers from Kansas City on

She can't be the ONLY 4 year old that has given up naps, can she? 2 hours? They can't all be sleeping that long, can they? This sounds outlandish to me.

An hour sounds more reasonable to me. None of my kids were in daycare, so I guess I don't know, but anyone who takes care of children all day couldn't possibly expect 4 year olds to be still and quiet for 2 hours!

Definitely find something for her to do. This is just silly and stubborn on the daycare's part in my opinion. Who would try to get a 4 year old to START taking naps again? Someone who doesn't want to deal with her awake, I guess. Good luck!

UPDATE: I am not sure about all schools, but at my kids' school event the full-day Kindergarteners do NOT have a rest period. I think those days are gone whether we like it or not. ;)

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A.D.

answers from Tucson on

My opinion as my child is the same age and this is my 3rd. A 2 hour rest is a very long time to rest quietly. Currently, my son is in transition with naps and can sleep 2 hours still on some days. On other days he will lie down quietly for an hour or so but starts playing if I try to make him rest longer. if she has not been napping for some time now and is in a new environment I can understand how hard it would be to just start napping again. new noises, new place to sleep, etc. Maybe with time she will feel more comfortable there and can do a quieter rest, but 2 hours? It is the right age to forgo long naps as soon she will be in school etc. Good Luck, A.

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D.G.

answers from Dallas on

I know in TX it is mandatory that they have a 2 hour lay down. My son typically would sleep but the times he didn't sleep or didn't sleep the entire time, they let him look at books quietly. The key was they still had to lay down and still had to be quiet. I would ask that she be allowed to look at a book quietly or if they have some quiet activity she could do laying down.

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C.C.

answers from Flagstaff on

No, two hours is not unusual, but is the norm for most centers. I was director of a center, and we asked that our 4 year olds who didn't need naps lie quietly or look at books for the first hour, then we would allow our non-nappers to go to another classroom for the second hour. Yes, give her time and she will adjust and learn the rules at her new school. Imagine that you just started a new job...it takes a while for you to feel comfortable and learn the ropes, same for her.

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S.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My son is the same way and he did not want to nap either and when he did he would wake up so grumpy he would get in trouble. The teacher just worked with him and us and moved his mat around a couple of times until he found the right spot he wouldn't get into trouble...which just so happens to be right by the teachers desk. He now just lays quietly and watches her work on her computer and grade papers and stuff. Also two hours seems a bit extreme... he only has to do this for an hour.

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