Tips for a Terrible Sleeper

Updated on November 02, 2009
A.F. asks from Carmel, IN
11 answers

Ok, moms, I'm officially exhausted! My 6 month old has been a TERRIBLE sleeper since we brought him home from the hospital. He's had reflux, a dairy and soy protein sensitivity, a couple ear infections and now his teeth are coming in. We've had him in the bouncy seat at night to keep his head elevated, but he now likes to lean over the edge to touch the floor, so he's outgrown the seat. He's has limited exposure to his crib, but we are committed to getting him in there now that he can roll and sleep on his belly, and the past couple nights have gone pretty well. However, we have to fight for every minute of sleep--he will not fall asleep on his own, ever. I have tried to let him cry, but he gets so worked up that it's not worth the battle. My husband walked with him for 1 1/2 hours last night to get him to sleep, and it just took me 15 minutes of walking to get him down for a nap which will only last 40 minutes--that's very typical for him, and he naps 3-4 times a day. I know he's tired, but I can't take him for a drive every time he needs to nap! He's a big boy (21 lbs), and it's getting really hard for me to manage the work it requires to get him to sleep...he's rarely interested in a pacifier, doesn't like to rock, too big to swaddle, and only goes 4 hours MAX at night between feedings. We started him on solids a few weeks ago, and limit the amount of formula he gets (mainly breastmilk) and he is obviously not hungry during all of this. Any advice you can give me would be great!

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M.B.

answers from Dayton on

I would read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It is EXCELLENT. He not only gives you options but scientific evidence about sleep in babies and children. Actually he gives a little too much evidence, so I skipped through lots of it. It will help immensely.

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T.H.

answers from Columbus on

I have the exact situation. We just broke ours of it a week ago. I feed him as much cereal as he can eat (typically 5tbsp) and a half a jar of bananas because his stomach is too sensitive for anything else and a couple oz of milk and lay him down. He is on 6ml a day of zantac and he also has colic. We just HAD to let him cry it out and it broke my heart because he does get so worked up. We put him in the pack n play to sleep and he rolls over on his belly, if he wakes I let him cry and for the past 4 nights he has not cried at all. It took 20 minutes of crying (I know I felt horrible) and he was all worked up but then instantly the crying stopped and he fell asleep. He just knew that we would wake up and feed him a bottle. My doctor says at this age they can go through the night without a feeding. My son is 6 months and weighs 17lbs. I know its hard and works on your nerves but just let him cry it out. If he isnt on medicine get him on it it works wonders!

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C.T.

answers from Cleveland on

I have been there! Madison is now 8 months old- reflux-floppy airway (that corrected itself!) dairy and soy allergies as well and I am breastfeeding- She slept in the car seat for 4 months and I held her for naps for almost 5 months- I know it is so h*** o* you! First I would recommend to make sure you really have gotten all dairy and soy out of your diet- Nothing improved until i did that- We tried CIO but she didn't just cry- she would become hysterical- and once she fell asleep it would be for only about 30 mins-
We mastered the crib at night first- We picked a weekend and my husband and I were determainned to do it- We put her to sleep in the carseat as usual and when we went to bed a few hours later took her out and placed her in the crib. she woke up a couple of times that night ( she had slept through night in carseat so I knew she wasn't hungry) so we took turns getting up and bouncing her back to sleep- The next night she slept through (we were lucky) and has ever since!
Naps were another thing-We found a soft blanket she liked to rub and her paci- We did the 2 mins- 5 mins- 7 mins- 10 mins- between checks. When I would go in it would give her a blanket by her cheek and give her back the paci. sometimes if she was crying really hard i would pick her up and bounce but we finally decided to only do the checks ins and it worked! it was hard during it - but you need your sleep! Now she is the best sleeper!! 6:30 pm till 8 or 8:30 am 2 naps around 1.5 hours each. She doesn't let me rock her anymore- I look back to all the hours I spent holding her rocking her and bouncing her- She wants none of that now- I miss my little cuddle baby- What I would do to go back one time and enjoy that moment- They grow up so fast--
good luck-

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Here are a couple books to check out:
Happiest Baby on the Block
No-Cry Sleep Solution
The Baby Whisperer Solves all your problems

They are books built around compassionate response to your child's needs instead of telling you it's ok to make his scream until he passes out (which, sadly, even some doctors mistakenly still say is ok).

My son had reflux and some sleep issues as well. I realized I was missing early sleep cues and by the time I put him down, he was was past being tired and couldn't fall asleep. There's nothing wrong with nursing or rocking a baby to sleep at that age either, so it it works do it. Or, get a sling and "wear him to sleep".

Good Luck:)

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S.L.

answers from Cincinnati on

I feel your Pain A.. Did you know that Reflux is the new word for Colic? It's true.. So you need to treat the colic. e.g. Talk to your doctor first but you may want to give him a little Malox in his food or Milk before he eats.. I had to do that and, sometimes it worked and sometimes it did not..Also try anything that makes a noise like a music box hooked to his bed.. I know all these sound weird but you will try anything to help him sleep. I would also put my baby next to the washer or dryer when I had it on or the dishwasher, they like the vibration, and remember poor little things are in pain with gas..

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M.B.

answers from Lafayette on

We had a boy like you & Carrie (that responded, too)! =) My best advice is to get him on reflux medicine -- that helped the most! We also put him on Alimentum (formula), and had to hold him to get him to sleep. (We're both very much against spoiling kids, and we don't co-sleep. But we had to, as I assume you do, too.) Just hang in there & get some help. One night my mother-in-law came over & spent the night so my hubby & I could sleep together...in bed! :) It was terrific!!

This will pass. Just make sure you've exhausted all options with your doctors (we had several doctors). We ended up taking our precious boy to Riley for an evaluation & were able to find the right medications for him this way. Good luck & God bless!

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B.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have some suggestions:

**Make sure you're getting him up at the same time each morning, and the earlier the better. I know it's so easy to sleep in, but once we got our daughter on a schedule on getting up at the same time every day, getting her to bed at night became less and less of a battle.

**For his night-time bottle: put in 2 squirts of mylicon and a spoonful or two of cereal into his bottle. My husband and I call this "Slipping him a mickey".

**While you're giving him his bottle, make sure you're in a dimly lit room, calm soothing music playing or something soothing like "Finding Nemo" - that was our oldest daughter's favorite "calm down" thing.

**Keep trying the nuk. It's a natural reflex for kids to want to suck on something because it's soothing to them. You might have to try a few different brands before you find one he likes.

**Get a humidifier for his room. Sunbeam makes one with a nightlight that shines up through the tank (it's also available as a generic at Walgreen's under their private label stuff). The sound of that is soothing too, and the nightlight isn't bright enough that it'll keep him up or wake him up, but is bright enough for you to be able to go in and check on him during the night.

**Something else to create "white noise" might be good too like a fan. Not a heater/fan, just a fan that blows air, and on a low setting.

These were things that helped both our daughters - hope they'll help for your little guy.

For what it's worth, and good luck!

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L.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

You are sooo lucky you are a SAHM. If you were working at a company, you probably would have been let go from a job since you are not getting any sleep. I really feel bad for you. My baby girl would NOT sleep either. She was sleeping in her CARSEAT up until she was 4 months old because of the reflux and she had gas too. The doctor told me to quit the following COLD TURKEY and to stay firm for 2 weeks(he said keep your eye on the end result)
1. no more carseat, she MUST sleep in the crib. but Put rolled up towels at one end the help with the reflux
2. no more night feedings. By 4 months, babies are fine to sleep THROUGH the night and your boy being 6 months old you should be getting 9-10 hour stretches at night but its up to you to teach him. He doesnt know any better
3. no more pacifier - but I chose to ignore this rule because I dont feel a pacifier is a bad thing to have at this age

So we did that and it was aweful for 1 week. She cried about 2 or 3 times per night. I remember night 4 and 5 being the worse and she cried for almost 2 hours. We used the ferber method, but she got so ticked when I did walk in the room after 30 mins and didnt do anything that I should have just never gone in at all
you MUST MUST MUST do something for him soon. Otherwise once he is more aware of his surrounding you will NEVER be able to break him and next thing you know you will have 3 people in your bed..(but I think cosleeping is bad)
People say CIO is bad, but I disagree. It was one bad week we had and the BEST thing I ever did. Now I sleep, baby sleeps, daddy sleeps and the whole family is happy. The baby is going to cry anyway, you might as well give the method a shot...but GIVE IT 2 weeks. dont give up after 2 nights. and if you give in and coddle him, You have to start your 2 weeks over.
Really sorry to hear about your boy. It stinks when you feel so helpless, but it sounds like he has a major case of "mommy or daddy hold me" and its up to you to break him. when my baby cried for the hour or 2, I would get up and clean..it passed the time by vs laying in bed just listening to the whale.

OH and P.S. Make sure you are doing a night time routine. I do dinner, bath, book, CD and then bottle right before I lay her down. I also have a night light in her room and fan to drown out any noise my hubby and I will make while she is sleeping from cooking/cleaning etc. Those all help too.

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N.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Hate to say it, and haven't read what the other moms wrote, but our first was the same way and at some point, for both of your sakes, you need to put him in the crib, close his door, close your door, and let him cry it out.

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D.H.

answers from Cleveland on

I used sleepsense.net - best thing I ever did. It's a sleep program that you pay for and download. I used it when my son was about 5 months old, now he is 22 months and sleeps like a champ. It has a money-back guarantee and different levels of the program you can purchase. It is not very expensive and it even gives you a couple different options just in case you are not comfortable with one or the other!

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R.N.

answers from Cleveland on

How does he respond to music? I'm a grandma now, but when my daughter was little, I sang to her and stroked her head every night until she fell asleep. I would also lay down with her when she needed to nap, put my arm across her to keep her still. After she fell asleep, I could get up and do something else. I've used a CD of soft gentle music playing while I stood or layed next to the crib and held my grandson's hand or stroked his hair or rubbed his back.

My daughter set up a routine with her children so they know they must stay in bed, even though they don't always fall asleep for awhile. They do have fans going in their rooms for white noise, however.

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