Three Year Old and Naps

Updated on April 02, 2010
S.L. asks from Austin, TX
18 answers

My daughter is almost three and she is not wanting to nap. I don't want to use bribes or threats, and I don't want to be overly confrontational and enter into a power struggle. I have read that at her age, she should be sleeping 12-14 hrs per day. She sleeps about 10 at night so I feel like she needs a nap during the day. Before this, she was sleeping from one to three. Any good ideas?

Thanks for the responses so far! A couple other things:
-When she doesn't nap, she is usually cranky by about 6 (bedtime is at 8)
-I tried "reading or resting in bed" time today and she started coming out saying she was done after about ten minutes. Perhaps it was just the newness of it and it will improve with time?
-When she does fall asleep, she sleeps a solid two hours.
- I have tried putting her down later (at two), but it seems a little worse.
-We have a daily routine before nap: lunch, potty, teeth brushing, two books, songs and lights out...

Thanks !

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L.B.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

She may just not need as much sleep as the "average". Is she still happy and alert on that amount of sleep? Does she get upset/grumpy or act tired without a nap? If she's okay I'd say leave it be. I know it sucks to give up naps, but we all go through it eventually.
The other suggestion if you find she needs a nap is to try a different time of the day, maybe change the nap routine where you do some more calming activities before you put her down. Chances are good she just doesn't want to miss anything and that's why she's fighting the naps. I wouldn't push too hard unless you find she's really hard to handle without the nap.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Houston on

Hi S., I have three kids. Every child had different sleep patterns . My oldest stopped naps altogether before she was two. I tried everything to no avail. My second begin to phase out naps when she was three and was entirely done with naps when she was 4. My youngest napped until he was about 3 1/2 - sometimes in the morning and sometimes in the afternoon. We always went to bed everynight at 9:00 --my husband has to wake up early. Unfortunately, every child doesn't fit into a nice, neat category. Everything you read is a simply a guideline. Good Luck!

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

The 12-14 hours/day is a rough estimate for the average child. She may simply not require that much sleep at this point in her development.

If she won't take a nap, I'd at least make sure she has quite time - or, as we tell our kids, rest.

You may find that she is just one of those kids that doesn't require as much sleep as others. Our 3.5 year old son still naps, but he rarely falls asleep before 9:30-10pm. He's naturally a night owl but also the earlier riser of our two kids.

This advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics may be helpful:
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddle...

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D.B.

answers from Kansas City on

That is the age alot of kids give up on naps. Mine have all been pretty much done w/ a regular nap at that age. They still of course take the occassional one.

In lieu of a actual nap, perhaps some quiet time instead. Coloring, a favorite video, listen to some music.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi S.,
my son is almost 3 too and he is sleeping obout 10-11 hrs at night plus hi is taking nap during a day about an hour or two which is good.But i just talk the other day with my coworker and she told me that her son 2 years old stop taking naps during the day and she have no idea why!I've heard that a lot of kids are not taking naps so is nothig bad for them is just not good for as,moms :)))
and my thinking is if he refused to go to bed just let him laying down watch tv maybe for an hour cuz they are runing all day long and they need that time for rest.

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L.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I would just instill quiet time or rest time. I have a 3 yr old and a 4 yr old who both still nap. My 4 yr old sometimes does not nap, but knows she must rest till I come get her and sometimes she plays in there sometimes she just lays in her bed and sings,plays w animals, or looks at books and will eventually fall asleep and if not I go and get her after an hr. L.:)

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J.R.

answers from San Antonio on

When my son was that age, I used to have him do the "three-minute eye test". I told him that if he could keep his eyes shut for three minutes without falling asleep, then I would let him skip the nap. If he moved or fluttered his eyelids, we had to re-start the clock. Sometimes I would actually let him get up because he truly didn't seem at all sleepy, but most of the time he would drift off (and I often did, too).

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D.C.

answers from San Antonio on

I am a SAHM and learned with the many doctor appointments that I would put one or all three into daycare if I had the appointment. The daycare would have lunch served about 11/1130, then clean up diaper changes etc then put the children down for a nap about 12:30 to 2:30 , lights out with music in the background. Then when my kids entered public school, part of Kindergarten would be a lay down time after lunch about 30 minutes on a kindermat, lights dimmed with music.
I hope this helps!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Have a quiet time. As an alternative.
When I have quiet time, in the event my kids don't nap... then they also know that "Mommy" is also on quiet time... and that is when I do "my" things. We all do it together, but independently.
My son is napping now. My daughter is reading.
I am here, on the computer! LOL
It works for us.

(as an example of going by your child's cues: my son usually naps later... but today he was tired already... so he went to nap. And he has a cold. So he is napping already. And whenever one kid is napping, then that is "quiet time" for me and my daughter, who is home from school today).

Here is a link:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-chil...

My son is 3.5 now... he naps everyday. He has napped everyday, since he was born. It is a routine. Everyday. I don't force it... I go by his cues... and I know when he is tired. Now at his age, he naps once a day... in the afternoon. He naps for about 2-3 hours. He goes to bed at 8:30, and naps don't interfere with that ability. He sleeps fine.
He does not go to nap with a battle. He will even tell me if he is tired and then will go into his room... and do his routine. Or I give him a verbal head's up "nap time soon... finish what you are doing, then nap..." and I let him wind-down first. It takes about 1/2 hour to wind-down, pre-nap, then he goes.

I know each child is different... but even my daughter, who is 7, will nap on some days. She genuinely needs it. Or she gets very fussy.
It is a routine, daily, that we do. They know it like auto-pilot. Even my daughter will ask if she can nap sometimes, without my urging.

If my kids, son, does not nap... which is rare... we have a quiet time. He knows and understands. And, if one child is napping and the other isn't... they know to be quiet. They do know how.
It is just a routine...

I do not use bribes/threats/punishment/rewards either.
I don't force my kids to nap. I am not anal or militant about it. But it is just the way we have our DAILY routine.

Routine is the key.. or a quiet time.
Some kids can do fine without a nap... but, on some days they DO need one. So as a Mom, you need to go by your child's "cues" about it. THAT is also the key.

I have also taught my kids, that they CAN say if they are tired and want to nap... I explained it is NOT a "bad" thing to say, nor to need a nap. So, if they are tired, and they know themselves, they will actually tell me they are tired or want to nap. This is also important.
I also will tell them if "I" want to nap... and am tired. And they know to respect that...

All the best,
Susan

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J.K.

answers from Mansfield on

Alot of good advise here so just seconding alot of it. Every child is different- some require less sleep. Some need more. My girls are 2 years apart so until this year both were home in afternoon during nap time. It was not easy to get them to lay down but I needed it as much as they did and I am sure you do too. So i started using "rest" not nap time. I set up rules about rest time. Laying in your bed- quite (no talking to each other, crying, singing, talking to yourself, playing etc) no toys or books in bed. Just lay down close eyes close mouth (lol) and rest, (no getting up until I come get you) for .... you set the time.... if they were awake and followed the rules when the time was up I knew they didn't need to sleep that day and I let them get up. Usually they would be able to make it to bed time without much issue on those days. They didn't sleep every day but when nap was needed they would fall asleep on their own.
She is old enough to listen - i did it with a 1 and 3 year old who shared the same room. So as long as you are consistant- she will eventually follow through. She will get the sleep she needs, you will get the rest/break you need and all will be right with the world. It may be hard to start- but make consequences for not following the resting rule (you have to stay there longer, no dora video, earlier bed, can't play outside this evening, whatever) and enforce them. Don't threaten something you won't or can't follow through on. And reward following the rules - special treat after dinner or extra book before bed, etc.
Also- my youngest loves to fall asleep with music.... so we would let her put her headphones on turn the volume way way way down and as long as she wasn't singing along, dancing in bed or getting up... she could keep them on. She doesn't do this all the time but sometimes requests it. I always pick a calm soothing CD or playlist on the MP3 that she likes. No dance music or nursery rhymes that she is more likely to sing or boogy to.
Hope this helps :)

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

She may be ready to stop napping as long or every day. If she doesn't nap is she tired/crabby? Also, if she doesn't nap, at least make her have some quiet time - 1 hr or so reading and resting in her room. At least it's downtime. My daughter was 3 in October and only naps about 3 x per week for 1 hr - sleeps about 10 at night. She is often hard to put down for bed if she naps too long. Each kid is differnt, but it's totally normal to stop napping at this age. Just figure out if she really needs one - tired, crabby etc w/o it. Enjoy!

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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is 31/2 and he is used to taking naps due to being in preschool. However, when we are at home, there are times he does not want to as well. We let him know that he has to go up to his room and "rest" for at least 1 hour. The other day he was "resting" for almost 2 hours, he did not sleep but at least had some quiet resting time. I don't think they necessarily need to sleep if they're not tired, but their bodies do need to rest. I let him look at his books, play with a toy in his bed, but he cannot watch tv or get out of bed, so that he knows it is resting time. If he falls asleep great, if not at least he had some down time, and we did as well :)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I switched to "quiet time" at around 3 for my son. I was just sick of the nap battle. He had to stay in his room and play quietly OR watch a movie OR listen to a story CD. Maybe you could set a timer for O. hour (quietly turn it off if she DOES fall asleep ;-)
If she does not nap I'd move her bedtime up about an hour that night.

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K.N.

answers from Houston on

I tell my son, that no is not an option. No chose in the matter. Sometime we as parents just have to put our foot down.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

She may be growing out of napping. Try skipping a nap on a quite day and she may be ready to go down earlier. You may see that she falls asleep easier at night and sleeps in a little later in the morning. My son was never a napper, but boy can he sleep. He is 7 and we just moved his bed time up to 8pm. It was 7:30 and we would wake him up to get ready for school at 7am. So even though he was never a napper, he always got a long stretch of sleep at night.

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E.P.

answers from Jackson on

Every child is different some don't need naps. A good alternative is quiet time laying down with a soothing movie and chances are if she is the least bit tired she will fall asleep and take the nap if not she has at least rested.

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

I would try "quiet time" instead of "naptime". My daughter started doing that at around 3 1/2. She is just over 4 now and she doesn't nap every day, but needs one at least 2-3 times per week (including weekends) in order to keep all of our sanity. If she naps every day, it is almost impossible to get her to bed on time at night, but if she only sleeps once every few days, that works out well for us.

But, at 3, I started quiet time instead of naptime. I told her she didn't have to sleep, but she did have to rest in her bed and either play with her stuffed animals and listen to music or read books. She almost always fell asleep anyway, but if she didn't, she had to stay in her room for an hour (at the least). I put a clock in her room and would tell her what time she could come out. This worked like a charm because she didn't think she had to go to sleep, but she would stay in her room and "play quietly" but end up falling asleep anyway. Win/win in my book!

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

forget about forcing her to read or sleep. enforce quiet time, don't insist she sleep but she should at least be getting some good "rest" -the only rule is she has to stay in bed. enforce that and once she gets used to it, she will sleep sometimes and maybe sometimes she won't. my 3 year old doesn't nap "every" day, but most days. also, try to make sure she's getting plenty of excercise to wear her out in the morning.

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