So my husband ex has harrassed me from day one. She has asked her daughter where my kids lived and then went and introduced herself to my ex and his wife 5 yrs ago. They have been "friends" ever since. Ganging up on us in court battles and with the kids. They each ask the kids all about our house and try to use it against us... blah blah blah. This lady has written things aboiut me on websites, but didnt use her real name (I know it was her because she used the same thing in the court papers last time in court) She found me on a help website and contacted the owner 3 times saying I was a liar and those werent my kids, she has found out where my church was and went in and talked to the pastor... I could go on and on.
So I drop their daughter off at daycare, where she has her enrolled, like I do every vacation time and days off from school, so she can pick her up. Tonight she text me and my husband to "stop playing games and dont f*c* with me". In another text message she says "Ur games are going to get you hurt."
So now she is threatening me. I want to go to the police and file a report and the Sheriff said that I could and it would go to the D.A.
I am thinking of the reprocussions she will do if I do make a report (like take my husband back to court again, although there are no grounds but there never have been) AND am I just being dramatic????? She has her profile pic on FB of her shooting a shotgun so who knows what she will do.
ANY ADVICE??? Am I just being dramatic? Or should I consider this a real threat?
UPDATED: Jennifer, It went to me. She thinks (im only guesiing here) that I was "playing games" in taking their daughter, whos 12, to the boys n girls club where she can pick her up. I dont want her any where near me or my home. I have done this forever!
My husband has tried to talk to her before but she just ignores him and does what she wants. She seems very angry and there is no reason! She is just a bitter rotten person who gets off on making our lives hell. They were not together when we got together but she wanted him after she saw we were getting close.
UPDATE: Momwithcamera...LOL...Im not cyberstalking her. My ex's wife has added this lady to ALL my kids friends on FB. When my kids come over and are on THEIR FB when she posts something it shows on their page. In checking what they are doing on the computer I have seen it. LOL...that made me laugh.
And No I dont have my kids as friends on FB :( cuz their step mom has access to their profiles and then would have access to my profile.
Aside from the fact that she has no life she needs help. Help her by filing a police report and getting a restraining order. See a lawyer about a lawsuit.
Women like her are a danger to their children and society.
I would consider it a real threat. I would go to the police with the text messages. I would not be emotional or go into too much detail about her past actions. Just explain who she is and show them the messages. Then you will have a police report that can be used as evidence in any further court action she takes.
Always document threats... Because the next threat will be worse and if you file this instance, the next one won't be her first offense. You've got to think strategically. Also, the next time you go to court for custody disputes, this threat (supported by the police report) can help you and your husband counter with claims of emotional instability.
No one stands up to her, so she has learned there is no repercussions from bullying you.
If you had documented and filed complaints for liable and character assassination, she may not have been able to keep trash talking you.
It does sound like harassment and harassment is a serious issue. That said, before you file a formal complaint, make sure you have everything and I mean everything documented. You don't want it to turn into a case of she said/she said. I am truly sorry you are having to go through this and don't understand people who get gratification from tormenting others.
From what you have written, she does not sound entirely stable. I hope you have been documenting everything that has been happening. Can your husband talk to her, since she is his ex-wife? Otherwise I would file a complaint with the police and consider a restraining order that prevents her from having any contact with you. Have you talked to your husband about this first?
save and print all the text mesages from your husband cel and yours too...
(this will help for court if its any)....
file a police report.........
Don't wait , have you seen the news lately? you never now when someone is going to snap and if she's already thinking in hurting you and you have this in writing ..what are you waiting for?
get a restrain order, for your entire family..........
When she texted the "Ur games are going to get you hurt." did that go to you or to your hubby?
If it came to you what games could she possibly be claiming you're playing? If you feel threatened I would go and file a report. If she continues to text you and harass you make sure you update the report so they know she's continuing the contact.
ETA: Ok, from what you've added I would definitely go file a police report and explain what has done. As I said before, if she continues, then I would continue to update the police and either make new reports, or speak with the officer in charge of your case and update them. Good luck!
Good luck!
I feel for you. I too have experience with an individual like this (my husband's grown daughter). We have cut her out completely and have no contact with her whatsoever, although she continues to try to cause trouble. I know that isn't an option for you due to the kids but you are doing everything the way you should with a person such as her. Sounds like she has a narcissistic personality and could even be a bit pyschotic. I would definitely document everything. Keep everything she has sent to you. I would inform her that all conversations will be recorded. As long as she is aware of it being recorded it should stand up in court. I would never respond to anything she says or does. In fact you could even insist that your husband be the only one to speak to her. The only time they need to speak is when it concerns the kids, the second she strays from them, he needs to hang up. Do not tolerate anything. And yes, file something againist her and if necessary get a restraining order againist her. You have been threatened with physical harm and you have every right to file againist her. I feel for you and for the kids. Do all you can to protect them. Remember the best revenge is living well. Good luck!
When I was in Management, we were given classes (this was during the time of the constant layoffs in the electronic industry) that taught us that anytime someone threatened us, we should take it very seriously. Only people who are mentally unstable would consider to threaten someone anyway.
I agree with your first poster. Get a police report and ask them what you should do.
wow this lady sounds really dangerous, I would file a report for sure to get everything documented. Just echoing what other moms said, but wanted to send a cyber hug, be careful with this nutso.
I agree with sue. You say so she can pick her up? Is she one your daughter's real mom? I'm confused... I'd keep her the heck away from the kids... build a case to say she's unfit and get her because I would be scared of what she could do to those kids. She sounds psycho.
Honestly I would take those threatening texts down to the courthouse and file for a restraining order. Some people are psycho and if she has a gun do you really want to take chances.
I would most def file a report. There are laws like that for a reason, she shouldnt be doing it. Wash your hands of her and let the police deal with her.
I also think you should file a police report including past history. Make a time line with a short phrase identifying each incident. Put it outline form and use as few words as possible so that the police can see the pattern. Include a copy of her Facebook picture with the shot gon.
I also suggest that you get a restraining order using the outline you've made for the police.
At the same time as you get the restraining order your husband will probably need to go back to court and get a court order that specifically states how their daughter will be sent back and forth. If the Boys and Girls Club is the place for exchange she can't accuse you of playing games when you take her there.
This sounds exactly like my daughter's grandmother. The BEST thing you can do is have these things documented. TRUST ME. Because then IF something does happen, she already has a history and won't be able to wiggle herself out of the consequences. Chances are, she's all talk, but either way you need to teach her the lesson that acting that way is unacceptable and that there will be repercussions. She is terrorizing your life! Also, what is "cyberstalking"?? Isn't that the point of social networking?! LOL. Anyway, show her that when she fights you, you will fight back. I know it's horrible, and you don't have the time or energy, but trust me it saves you time in the long run. If you don't do it, you're sending the message that everytime she gets mad she can bully you into something because she knows that you will give in first. Sometimes you do have to stoop to someone's level to get them off your back. However, if things start getting really out of control, then back off--no fight is worth a fight to the death. I can't stress it enough. DOCUMENT everything with this person. My ex threw a newspaper at me while I was carrying my newborn, and he got a disorderly conduct because I called the police. His mother put my daughter's things out for trash, and I had an officer go with me and document. I did all of this because these are documents that can be used in court if need be to prove what kind of a person you are dealing with--especially if SHE takes you to court. You could remind her of all of the documented things you have when she threatens court. I've never called the police in my life until dealing with these people--but that's what you need to do.
There is always 2 sides to every story. The court papers had to make some sort of accusations. I don't think you are being dramatic completely. But it takes 2 to tango. You should not have let it go on this long. There must be some kind of way to get her to back off unless she really does believe what she's saying. I guess I'm thinking of some sort of 3rd party that can meet with you guys in a public place to hash it out.
File the police report. Document what you can.
I haven't had a chance to read all the responses, so I apoligize if I am repetitive. Basically, first thing that comes to mind is you and your family's safety, including "her" kids. Bottom line, document everything. If you have any level of fear, then your instinct is talking to you and you should pay attention to it. When it comes to your family's safety, a little paranoia is not a bad thing, so long as you have documentation that supports it. Have you considered a restraining order as Step 1. Obviously talking is not working and at some point when teh kids are older, you won't have to talk anymore. But for now, if she is threatening you, then file a restraining order. Screen shot her FB page etc. etc. etc.... based on what you outlined above, looks like you have some decent documentation, not to mention the outright threat.
All the Best
The courts will want to see a police report when you claim she has threatened you and you state you feared your life.
As for the facebook picture, why are you looking at her facebook picture? Does she have similar friends and it pops up or are you seeking her out on the web? Be careful not to get yourself caught up in cyberstalking. You may not want to tell the courts about this picture, unless it was unprovoked.
This post confused me. I don't understand who "she" is and what's going on.
