26 answers

Thoughts on Co-sleeping

Hi everyone,
I am just curious on what people think about co-sleeping. Are you for it? Against it? How many people's children sleep with them?

1 mom found this helpful

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Thank you everyone for such an amazing response. My husband and I co-slept with our son, but he now sleeps in a toddler bed in our room. I am writing a paper on co sleeping and wanted to solicit others opinions. I think that more people co-sleep than talk about it. I think there is a slight stigma about it. I admit that when my son was an infant and his dr. would ask about him sleeping at night we told her he was in a crib in his own room, because she made it apparent to us that she did not agree with co-sleeping. I myself before having my son was against co-sleeping. But as others have put it time goes by so fast and the time you get with your child in bed with you is valuable bonding time.

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I love it and despise it at the same time... I love being able to snuggle and to know that he is okay (19 months) but hate it because I miss sprawling out in the bed and cuddle time with the hubby. But it was good when my son had the flu... not because we all got it :) hahaha... but because I knew moments before he was going to through up. If he had been in the other room I wouldn't have known until it was all over the place. I also like it because when he gets up in the morning we snuggle for 30 min before we really get up. But that does mean no snuggle time with me and hubby which at times makes it hard for us to connect. SOOOO I say it is good and bad... but I wouldn't change a thing with what I've done so far! :)

1 mom found this helpful

I did this with both my boys. WOuldnt have it any other way. You do need to have them sleep at grandmas or aunties once in a while tho, so you can have "special time" with Dad. Once they get old enough you can transition them into their cool new "big boy" bed. It takes awhile, but I will always be glad I did. It was easier with boy #2 who was 2 or 3 when we moved him in with brother. Good luck!

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Co-sleeping has been my lifesaver. It is the only way I get enough sleep and I feel it is a great way to bond with my kids. You might read "Nightime Parenting" by Dr. Sears. I am a believer that parenting doesn't stop at night and kids should feel safe at all times.

A friend of mine who has kids in mid-grade school told me that all kids end up in their parents bed at some time in their lives. Be it nightmare, co-sleeping, whatever.

Do what you feel is best for you and your family.
Happy Sleeping,
D.

2 moms found this helpful

I love cosleeping with our son. He's 18 months old and never had a crib; he's always slept with his dad, myself and the cat in our king-size bed. Having a king-size bed helps a lot!
We are careful not to go to sleep intoxicated and are both very aware of where our son is in the bed. We also purchased a side-rail so he can't roll off my side of the bed. Oh, and we have another bed in the house for romantic interludes, so it doesn't "cramp our style", as it were. Overall, we've taken every precaution we can, even keeping the room warm with a heater instead of piling on blankets. Cosleeping has worked well for us. Especially at night, when he wants to nurse, it's great to be able to stay in bed; neither of us really wake up most of the time.

I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, and while there was a recent study suggesting a link between cosleeping and SIDS, there are also a lot of scientific studies which show a lower incidence of SIDS in traditionally cosleeping societies. The important thing is that every family decides what works for them without judging someone who is doing something different. A lot of parents wouldn't dream of cosleeping because they want their privacy, are light sleepers, or feel that their lifestyle or persons may put their child at risk for overlying. There's nothing wrong with deciding not to cosleep, either. It's just worked really well for us.

I'll be glad and very sad when my son is ready to graduate to his own room.:)

1 mom found this helpful

I love it and despise it at the same time... I love being able to snuggle and to know that he is okay (19 months) but hate it because I miss sprawling out in the bed and cuddle time with the hubby. But it was good when my son had the flu... not because we all got it :) hahaha... but because I knew moments before he was going to through up. If he had been in the other room I wouldn't have known until it was all over the place. I also like it because when he gets up in the morning we snuggle for 30 min before we really get up. But that does mean no snuggle time with me and hubby which at times makes it hard for us to connect. SOOOO I say it is good and bad... but I wouldn't change a thing with what I've done so far! :)

1 mom found this helpful

I'm with Darlene on this: "I am a believer that parenting doesn't stop at night and kids should feel safe at all times."

We have been a "carrying species" throughout most of our history, keeping our babies at arm's length or less until they are well-grown, and I think we're still wired that way. Maybe as Western adults we have rejected it, but as babies and toddlers we haven't got the memo.

Our family is still co-sleeping at 26 months. I'm still breastfeeding 2x during the day and through the night. I think kicking her out of bed will have to wait until she is fully weaned.

There are pluses and minuses to it, but all in all I agree with Darlene's statement, and remember, a couple of years out of your entire life is a tiny slice. Before we know it they're teens who never come out of their own rooms!

My biggest regret is ignoring this advice: Don't waste money on a crib; upgrade your bed to a California king!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi- although all 3 of our sons are now big (9, 11, and 12!) all of them slept with us and it was good. Our oldest was a kicker & he wanted to sleep in his own space when he was about 2. The other 2 boys slept with us till they were about 4 or 5 each. They are happy, well adjusted, and none of us seem to have suffered from lack of sleep. My husband & I managed to have 'alone time', too. I say whatever works is great. Co-sleeping worked for us for quite awhile. Good luck!

We co-slept with our boys for the first few weeks. It wasn't for us. Hub and I found that we had a hard time sleeping peacefully when the baby was in bed with us. I for one, think that as long as it is done safely it can be very beneficial.

W.,
You have received wonderful advice from other Moms, and I agree if it works for you, DH and baby, it works. There's no absolute right or wrong here, just what feels right, what feels wrong. You, as parent, know your child's temperament and needs best.
I bet nearly every single parent co-sleeps to some extent. It's totally natural.
We co-slept until about month 7 or 8 at which time baby had a hard time sleeping with me. She just wanted to play. Transition to the crib was fairly easy and she sleeps much better there now. But if anything changes, she's always welcome back in bed.

I love co-sleeping with my son (almost 9 months old), he was a baby that had colic and would be up all night. I also was a nervous first time mom and thought that being in our bed he would be more secure. I would do the same thing again in the future with our second child. I get pressured on a weekly basis from friends and family to get him in his crib. I occasionally will say I am starting to put him in his crib so they will just leave me alone. I think that parents should do what they think is best. They can move their child into the crib/bed when they are ready. Definitely you have a closer bond to your child when you co-sleep. My son is the happiest boy in the world and trusts me totally. I think that things wouldn't quite be that way if he slept in his crib from day one.

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