This Went 2 the Wrong Catorgy but I Need Advice Fast....

I would pray on it. You can't go wrong there. If you feel the push and need to help her out than do it. That is God speaking to you. What would Jesus do? That being said you also want to be on the look out for those that use people until they can't be used no more. I am not saying that this person is like that but there are people out there that take, take, take and never give. I would open my heart the first time and see how things go.

You surely do have a big heart to take in someone else when your house is already full. I think it's a great gesture on your part.
Do you know the full story on why the mom would put her out? (although nothing should justify putting a baby out on the streets!)
If she has no other family members to go to then I would probably take her in for a night or two. But, in the meantime I would definetly be on the look out for somewhere else for her to go. I would also let her know (in a nice way) that this is not a permanent situation or one that is going to go on for months. She should understand that you already have alot on your plate with other family members living with you. If she can't understand that then you know what type of personality you are dealing with.
If she does not have any place to go and she called and asked you for a place to stay its hard to say no. Personally I would hate for someone to ask me for a place to live. I work-full time outside the home and in home (almost 24 hours a day). I have a husband and to young kids and I don't need or want to take care of anyone else. Also, if you have someone lounging around your house all day and not contributing something the friendship would probably get really strained. Sorry, if I was sort of harsh. Its just that we women take on so much and it makes our lives so difficult sometimes. We have to feel responsible for everybody.
sorry this is so long.

hi O.
how dose your husband feal about another pearson and baby coming to stay would he mind and do you have the room i too have a big hart i go way out of my way to help people to the point my husband say i make my self sick i give till it hurts i guess what i am saying i would take her in there is no reason she should be out on the street with a baby and shame on her mom for putting a man over her and her grand baby good luck

Hello O., You do have a heart of gold. Sometimes the best help is to direct people into ways they can be helped out by others. If your "lil sister" was in a physical fight with her mom's boyfriend, then she can go to a demestic violence shelter. (look in the yellow pages) If not she can go to a homeless shelter. Both of these places will then help her to get an apartment of her own, and hook her up to any public assistance her baby would quaulify for which then gives her a means of income. They will also help find her a job!! This sounds harsh, but actually it is kindest way that you can help, because it causes so many other people and organizations to join in the plan to help her out. This is why these places were designed. This baby will open more doors then you can imagine. God bless all of you, and happy holidays.

I say do it. Our homes can never be full enough. Our culture allows us to think we all need our own space. I say sacrifice a little of your own freedom to help someone out. Wouldn't you want someone to do the same for you?

Be the hands of Jesus to someone in need.
God sees the good you do.

It does sound like you are a very caring, giving person, O., but I am concerned that you are taking on too much. The most logical thing is for this young mom to try to reconcile with her mom so she can stay where she is. Can she settle things with the people she's argued with and stay on, at least for the time being? She should try that first - just swallow her pride and try to stay in her family's home.

I'm not sure why your in-laws are staying with you or for how long, but maybe that situation needs to be assessed too. Back to your friend, is there some way that she can work toward living independently in her own, small place or even someplace where she can rent a room? I don't know how old she is - maybe too young to go out on her own yet?

I wouldn't rescue her if what she really needs is to grow up a little and make things right with her family, as imperfect as they are. She'll always have to deal with them so that'd be the best thing.

God bless you for wanting to help.

Try calling one of these...

http://julieslist.homestead.com/EmergencyHousing.html
It is a list of emergency shelters in the detroit area.
Look for one that offers transitional housing and is for women with babys.

Not all shelters are like the ones everyone thinks of when someone mentions shelters.
My mom lived in one in PA for 2 years that was apartments that were specifically for HOMELESS women WITH CHILDREN. They did charge rent but it was based on your income and they assisted you with getting job training and financial counciling so that once you were on your feet you knew how to handle yourself and keep yourself there.

You sound like you have a house full already. Please do not cause problems in YOUR marriage so that you may help someone who got herself kicked out of someone elses home.

You need to remember that you are hearing one side of a story and making judgements on that... Have you talked to the BF mom? to find out WHY she kicked her out? If you do really want to ask her to move in, make a phone call and ask the BF's mom some questions. My sister is also a sheltering kind of person and has had a lot of things stolen from her house and lies told to the neighbors from people who looked and acted like family for YEARS then as soon as they moved in and were around 24 hours a day their true selves came out. Thankfully she also realises eventually when she is being used and kicks the ones who deserve it out...

Call a bunch of the shelters and ask them what the living arrangement is. What the cost is. If they have openings and explain to them the situation. She will probibly be deemed as an emergency situation and they will make room. If you have time get the addresses and drive by.

Good luck and hope she finds something...

If it were me, I'd have to take her in. Talk it over with your hubby first though. And Make sure she understands that it's only temperary and she needs to find her own place. But in the mean time, I'd take her in.
GL, to all of you.

Well, couldn't your sister let her stay at her place since it sounds as though you already have a full house?

Help the girl and the baby!!! The Lord will definitely bless you in the long run. Talk it over with your husband first and as long as he's understanding, one more isn't going to make it any harder. You don't mention if the girl is in school or not, but if she's not and is passed the age of school (18) then tell her to get a job someplace to earn her own money. If she's on assistance, then she should be able to give something ($100 cash/food stamps maybe not all of them though, baby needs things too). That will allow her to contribute as well as save to get her own place. There's nice one bedroom apartments in Southfield and so forth that charge $400-$500 with utilities included for when she's ready.

I'm going to pray for her, your family, as well as her mother. The things women will do to keep a man around..........just sad!

Stay uplifted!

A

Dear O.,
If this younglady with her baby is "your sister's best-friend"--couldn't or wouldn't "She" help her? If not, You should "talk it over" with your husband "first", so YOU can have "PEACE" in your home. You have a "FULL HOUSE" with your "Mother-in-law and "3" sister's" living with both of you!! I pray for you with that situation!! Help tell your "lil sister friend" to seek Help with the "Agencies" to be able to get her own place for her and child. This will Help Her to Become Independent of her mother,you or your sister. It will give her freedom and self-respect as a mother. Take Care, J.

O., by the way i love your name, if its within your power to help someone why not, i say go for it,, what are freinds for ? if you were homeless would you want your freind to help out ? of course,so be that same freind to her, D. s

It's a hard decision and unfortunately, not all parties are here to tell the 'entire' story. This girl could very well have pushed her mother's buttons for the LAST time, and baby or not, it was time for her to go. Her mom didn't necessarily choose a man over her daughter. A parent can only take so much if this young lady was disrespectful, dishonest, a drug user, etc....now Im not saying she IS any of those things...but innocent people rarely end up in this situation!

I have a rule that my home is always open to friends and family who are in trouble. That said, my home is NOT open to young adults who happen to get pissed at mom/dad's rules and head for the door on a whim! There is a difference. She may do much better in a shelter where she can have a private room, a shared kitchen, some responsibilities and some assistance to get herself together. A handout from family is not always the best answer. Think it over carefully, because you owe your first consideration to your immediate family!

Good luck...don't take on more than you can handle, either!

~L.

I agree with the other responses and say take her in. In this "me first" society, it is so good to see there are still people who really care. If you have the room, I say let them come. I have never been in that situation with someone needing a place to live but I have had situations with my daughters friends where I have had to go out of my way to look for someone or pick up someone who got kicked out and bring them to our house for the night. I have never regretted any of it. We all need someone we can count on and how lucky she is to have you. Be the hands and feet of Jesus for this girl I don't think you will regret it, I think you will only be blessed.

L.