This Mom Gave Her Son a Cell Phone with Rules

I didn't flip through the pages but I agree that a code of etiquette is needed. People are so silly with them. Last year at the Giants World Series parade a lot of the players and their wives/girlfriends were holding up their cel phones taping the parade, not paying any attention to the fans at all. I thought that was very rude.

I have two teens and their friends have been told that cellphones do not come to the dinner table at our house. If their parents need access to them at all times, they are to text their parents to say they are sitting down to dinner and will not be answering for the next 1/2 hour. We don't ever answer the house phone during dinner, so when cell phones came along, same rule applied. My oldest complained, when all of her friends were first getting cellphones (after the did) that they were rude - she'd be spending the afternoon with a friend and the friend would practically spend the entire time texting other people. I don't know if other parents just think their kids will automatically know good manners, or if the parents don't tell the kids things like don't text/phone at the dinner table because they (the parents) spend dinner checking their own iPhones.

I think it is hard to preach to kids about tact when so many adults don't follow the same rules. I don't have a smartphone and dread the day when I have the world at my fingertips. But my husband has one and he is CONSTANTLY looking at his screen. I absolutely HATE it!!! I have seen families out to dinner - paying good money for a meal - and each and every one of them is staring at a screen the whole time...so annoying.

We also were getting a smoothie one day and two HS age boys were there together eating lunch and were both playing a game on their phones the whole time. No conversation, just the noise of the game on their phone (hubby was annoyed by the game noises!).

It is interesting that you told your friend to pretend it was like a regular phone. With so many cell phones these days, I wonder how many families no longer have a land line. I know my husband and I don't...so, if we didn't pay attention and teach our children how "regular phones" work, how would they know? It's like people who grew up listening to shows on the radio, or who grew up without remotes - needing to get out of your seat to change the channel! Or without internet, needing to GO SOMEWHERE to do research...

I think some of them should be discussions over time, repeatedly, and in various ways vs being in the contract. If you don't want your kid calling people at 2AM, teach him to respect others. If you don't want him sending questionable material to others, then teach him why. In general. The iPhone isn't the only way a child can access the internet, make a fool of him/herself, etc. When the time comes for DD to get a phone she will 1. be older than her sister (I had no hand in that) and 2. will get the lowest version with limits. I won't be taking her phone at 7PM, but I have long felt it is better for young teens to have the phone taken from them at night - so they are not on it and also so the danged thing gets charged. I cannot tell you how many times we had trouble reaching a kid because s/he forgot to charge it. Replacements due to stupid behavior will be her dime. A phone is a privilege and a tool and she will have to learn how to use it responsibly. And she can blame big bro/sis for all our rules because we have now been there - twice.

That said, we have had to ask the sks (who are now adults) to put their phones away at dinner. Seriously, it's pathetic. They know better. It's like they went feral in college where such things are OK.

I clicked the link to read the article but could not see all 18, points of her rules.

Anyway, one thing I have to add is this:
many kids have phones. That means they have a cell phone number to "their" phone. Kids, NO matter what age, DO give our their phone numbers to others who ask. That could be, other kids no matter what age, AND also adults/other parents etc. And this, can be dangerous. Because, the parents will not know necessarily, "who" has their child's phone number. And then the ripple effect of kids giving out their phone number is: that the kids who they gave their phone number to... CAN ALSO give out your child's phone number to others who your child may not even know... and who your child does not know nor like. And that can mean, others who have your child's phone number, can be either nice or bully types. And then, "prank calls" can occur etc. I see this myself, amongst my daughter's classmates. And it has happened.

So for ME... "our" rule (although my kids do not have cell phones, but we have cell phones as parents) is that: AT NO TIME, can our kids give out "our" phone numbers to ANYONE, unless... they ask us first, if it is okay.
And my kids DO follow this "rule." We are open and honest and blunt with them, about the ramifications of others having our phone number.
THUS, our phone numbers... are PRIVATE. WE DECIDE, who to give our phone numbers, to. The same rule goes for our e-mail addresses.

This is a very important thing, to consider, with kids.

And, when/if I do allow our kids to give our phone number to others, no matter who that may be... *I* tell that person myself, that at no time, can they give our phone number to ANYONE else, without my... permission. I make this clear, to my kids' friends and to their parents. And I have never had a problem with that.
I make it clear, that our phone number is private.

I'm so glad to know that other parents despise dinner time and cell phone usage. It is my pet peeve!
If you can't give me 20-30 minutes of your time then I can't cook anymore!

I didn't see the actual list although I watched the segment. I do agree that turning off one's phone at the table is really sort of a no-brainer. Back in the olden days, when our phones were attached to the wall, we might answer the phone at dinner, but the rule was that we had to ask them to call back, or be back at the table in one minute.

How about keeping the volume down on one's phone when out in public? We went out to dinner at a nice restaurant a while back and the kids at the table nearby kept playing music on their phones loudly. An adult at the table finally told them to stop, but it was pretty annoying. Kind of sad, too, to see a family all pulled into their own devices when they are out and about, instead of talking to each other. Some of my extended family is becoming like this. :(

I think she covered it pretty well.