This Kid Is Never Going to Potty Train...

Updated on October 25, 2011
B.. asks from Rockwall, TX
17 answers

Ugh. My son is 2 1/2. He has been night time trained for many months. (I know the two don't really have much to do with each other.) We have tried every method, every book, everything!! The kid will NOT potty train. He's ready. He has shown all the signs. He has even walked up to the toilet and peed on his own accord. He just doesn't WANT to. We don't pressure him, and we praise him when he does pee in the potty. (It only happened twice, and it has been a while.) We took the advice of taking a break and coming back to it. That didn't work, either.He will just unleash and pee or poop all over the floor, and THEN tell us he went. We try to catch him before he goes, but it doesn't always work out like that. How did you moms potty train?? I need help!!

Added: I want him to be potty trained!! If I didn't think he could, I would definitely not worry about it. He's not too young, but I do appreciate that point of view. I understand why people feel that way, but we're all ready to be done with diapers. (He constantly takes them off.) He has his own toilet, and a thing that fits on our toilet. He will sit on both with no fear.

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So What Happened?

Huge lack of discipline? That's just...not true. Oh, and by pressure...I simply meant there is no punishment for not going in the toilet.

He is in cloth diapers and hates being wet or soiled. He gets out of the diapers easily, even with shorts on. (He takes them off underneath his shorts, which makes a massive mess!) We do have underwear, but it seemed like we didn't get anywhere with those. I will try and use those again, and go back to setting the timer. If that doesn't work, we will take a break.

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I felt the same way...my son was about 3.5 when it really clicked. I was running out of larger sized diapers...I thought that I was going to have to put him in Depends!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

I don't have advise...just right there with you. My son is 2 /1/2 and has no interest. We did underwear which led to him peeing himself into his shoes and he got SOOO upset. So now I just ask a lot. Would you like to go potty in the toilet? I can bribe him to do it, but he never "does" anything when he's there. And his reaction to the question is usually "nope." So, I'm hoping soon this "switch will flip" cause I'm sick of it! Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from St. Louis on

What you WANT and what he does are two totally different things!! ;-) You'll just have to be patient and keep doing it. It is literally like a switch, one day it will go off. You can try treats/charts/praise and they may help, but that switch has got to be flipped by your son.

I felt like my son would never do it..he was over three...so I feel your pain!!

2 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

My husband used to joke with our oldest that changing him was like a changing a grown man! He is really tall so as he neared three it did seem funny to be changing his diaper. What I did was put some cool underwear on the counter, Toy Story, I think. Then when he saw it and wanted it I told him,'sure, as soon as you are ready to use the potty'. One day he said he was ready and I told him that he could wear the underwear as soon as he stayed totally clean in some thicker clothe trainers for a whole day. He was trained in two days and has done great since then. I think bc mine is so strong willed the underwear thing worked well so it made it all completely his decision and his control. That was his hot button, he did not want to think I was making him at all and that was fine by me bc now I don't even think about when he goes to the restroom, he just goes and never has accidents. Good luck!!

2 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

What worked for me was to just put underpants on. And yes there will be messes to clean up. After a couple of days that my daughter saw I wasn’t going to buy more diapers she started using to toilet. (She was 3)

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Good Morning, you have a lot of responses already, but i just wanted to say that My son just turned five and and we were able to completly potty train him just six months AGO!, sometimes boys take longer to do things. it will be a struggle but he will get there. AND i disagree with the opinion that its a A lack of discipline!. i dont think thats it at all. Your baby boy will do it when he is ready.

1 mom found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

Just keep on doing what you're doing.

Both of my boys were like this. Eventually it will just click.

Having dad pee in front of him is very helpful though... Monkey see, monkey do (or..."doo-doo" HA!)...

ETA: I also bribed them with Smucker's jelly beans (made with less sugar and real fruit). I don't care what anyone says...bribery worked great for potty training. I have proof! ;o)

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♫.C.

answers from San Francisco on

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} 2.5 is still young IMO (my twin DD's were somewhere between 3.5 and 3.75 when they finally trained and one of them was dry overnight for several months before she day trained).

It's aggravating, but as a preschool-teacher friend of mine (25+ years teaching preschool, 3 grown kids, and 2 grandkids) always told me, "They WILL get it when they're ready". A friend of mine who has b/g twins said her DD practically trained herself at age 3 while DS just showed no interest until finally they told him that the preschool that they loved going to wouldn't let him attend unless he was potty trained, and it was like he just flipped a switch and started using the potty (and, just to help dispel any fears that slow potty trainers are somehow not as bright as early trainers, these kids were *reading* before they turned 3, so they literally learned to read before they potty trained!)

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Well my daughter just turned 4 and she will poop in the toilet since 3 y/o, but refuses to pee in the toilet. It's so annoying, but she's stubborn so I guess when she decides it's gross, then we'll all live happily ever after, lol. 2 1/2 is too young to worry about it too much.

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R.S.

answers from Dallas on

It took my oldest only 2 weeks to potty train - but that was just 2 months shy of his third birthday! I was frantic because he was supposed to start preschool mid-August in a potty-trained only class, and he wasn't potty trained. I told the directod I wasn't sure what to do, then in the one week break between Summer session and Fall he suddenly decided to use the potty, and a week after that was accident-free. It was just a matter of HIM deciding he was ready, not me. My second son acted like he was interested and ready by 18 months, and it took him a whole year to be completely potty trained! Unfortunately, every child is different, and every child has their own schedule, which tends to have little to do with ours!

1 mom found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I get you on him being ready, and you being ready, kids actually trained younger in previous generations so they're not too young at this age, and he won't be scarred for life.

He's in a power/control struggle with you right now, one of the few things in his life he can exercise control over. He has the physical part down and no fear, he can do it. Put him in regular cloth trainers, no diapers at all since he's taking them off, eliminate that game. Also take him to buy some cute character undies, as an incentive for when he regularly uses the potty on his own and not the floor. Make sure when he poops on the floor you have him take it to the toilet and flush it, to reinforce that poop goes in the potty. Right now you're doing the work, he needs to be responsible for where he pees and poops, he needs to "own it." Also have him help clean up his messes on the floor. (My little guy did it once (he was so proud of himself for pooping on the carpet) and he helped to clean it up, no yelling, I was just matter-of-fact, "You pooped on the floor so you're helping me to clean it up. Poop goes in the potty." We did it together, put the poop in the potty and cleaned up.)

One last thought, is there something he would like, a toy or DVD? Not to own, you would own it, but he could earn 30 minutes of using it if he used the potty? With him earning the privilege of using the item it still retains it's incentive value, something that is lost once a child owns the item.

Hope the tide changes soon, hang in there : )

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T.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, my son was 3 when I got him to go to the bathroom during the day but we are still working with nightime. During the day I would use a timer and take him every hour and it finally worked. During the night I was using pull ups but I stop a couple of weeks ago, I wake him up during the night to use the bathroom and sometimes despite that he still gets wet and sometimes he wakes up dry. So we are still working on it. It was a lot easier with my daughters, this is my first son, hopefully it won't be this hard with my youngest son. Keep trying, be patient and good luck.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Unfortunately, readiness must include emotional willingness/eagerness to learn and adopt a new behavior. Plenty of toddlers are enchanted, briefly, with using the potty, but they just can't work up the will to do it every time, or they may not even notice the urge while they're busy playing until it's just too late. For that reason, I'd suggest that your son may not be fully ready. 2.5 years is still on the young side for potty success, especially for boys.

Here's a wonderful, informative website you might find helpful. It gives a few variations on"readiness" checklists, plus tips on various training strategies, the best ages to start them, and the advantages and disadvantages of each approach: http://www.parentingscience.com/potty-training-tips.html

And another excellent site that discusses delays and problems, and gives a specific strategy for dealing with them: http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Might he feel intimidated by the large toilet? Have you tried giving him his own little toilet?

Also, it might help to take him to the toilet every couple of hours so that he can have a routine.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

It sounds like a huge lack of discipline, when my boys were 2 my husband was teaching them how to stand up and go. Get daddy involved, you said you don't presure him, so why should he do it, it's not presure its encouragment,. J.

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M.S.

answers from Chattanooga on

The average age for a boy for potty training is 37 months. I know you are ready, but it sounds like he is not. Give it a few more weeks and try again.

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I cannot relate. My son was 3 before we even attempted potty training. You may think he is ready, but he may not be mentally. I know you don't think it is that he is too young, but it might be.

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