Third Trimester Anxiety

I'm 5 feet. That's it - so I'm very short as well.

My first was very late (original due date at the end of July, changed to August 2, born August 9) and they kept saying that he was measuring big. He was only 7lbs 9 ozs. People would go on and on about my size and how somebody as small as me would have a hard time, but I didn't. I didn't do any pain meds or anything, and it was just fine. I imagined labor as this excruciating pain, and it wasn't. I imagined them having to cut me open to get him out, and they didn't. It was just fine.

I knew better with my second, who ended up being born early, so was only 6lbs.

The bottom line is that being short, you can give birth just fine. It's not going to make it harder. If you are in shape, even better.

As far as the due date goes: That's just a guesstimate. Most babies are not born on their due dates. It takes approximately 40 weeks to grow a baby.... not *exactly* 40 weeks. In the US, we have this notion that all babies should be exactly the same, and all babies should be born at exactly 40 weeks gestation. If they aren't ready, we make them. The reality is that your body and the baby's body are in sync, and when it's time, the proper hormones will be released and you will go into labor. You and baby are a perfect team. Don't let anybody scare you! This is your dance.

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Here are some inspirational quotes that helped me during my 2nd pregnancy:

When mother and baby find each other for the first time, the world seems to stand still for a few moments as if honoring mother and baby in this magical moment.

You are never really prepared to witness the miracle of birth; no matter how many times you have seen it happen.

Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth.

- My body knows how to give birth.
- I'm strong and powerful.
- I'm surrounded by people who care about me.
- The work I'm doing is important. (My favorite)
- Women have been doing this work forever.
- The existence of birth technology doesn't mean I can't give birth safely without it.
- My baby is growing well.
- My baby and I are working together to prepare for birth.
- On the day I give birth, I will be joined in my work by many other women around the world.
- I am beautiful.

Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers…strong, competent, capable mothers, who trust themselves and know their inner strength.
– Barbara Katz Rothman

Trust your body. Trust yourself. Listen to the voice inside you that says you know how to grow this baby, how to bring forth this child, how to nourish your baby. You know how to be a mother.

"Know that things are unfolding naturally, that nothing is wrong or bizarre. Relax and be -- even though it's a loooong moment to be in, isn't it? ;)

It's not that you CAN do it -- it's that you already ARE doing it, right this moment. This is what this moment is about!"

Congrats!

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I felt a lot of anxiety when I was getting close to having my son too. The unknown is what scared me - I wasn't so worried about taking care of the baby but was FREAKED OUT about HAVING the baby. And it was no big deal - remember that women have babies every day - and that you will be surrounded by professionals who are going to help you through it.

In the meantime - I agree with the other mom's - spend some time pampering yourself....go to dinner with your husband....go see some movies....your life is about to change - in a good way - but you won't have as much time for things like that anymore.

And I used to think people were CRAZY when they told me they "forgot the pain", blah, blah, blah....but when you have that baby in your arms it will be the absolute greatest thing you've ever felt in your life. You will be amazed at how much you will love him and how much joy he is going to bring to your life!

So - congratulations - and I know it's easier said than done - but try to relax. YOU can do this! Best of luck to you!!!

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Don't let the Dr. pressure you into being induced, it can make things worse on some occassions. When the baby is ready, then he/she is ready. The anxiety thing is natural. My cousin is the same height as you, very pettit and small. She has had 2 children, first weighing over 5 lbs at birth & she went into labor on her own and the second she had recently weighing a little over 6 lbs and did just fine. No need to worry, when the baby startings coming on its own and you labor for so long and it looks like your just not going to be able to have the baby naturally, then you may need to do a c-section. But it will all be ok.

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Been there! Those last few weeks are the hardest, I think. I'm also a shorty and like to say that I'm 5', but really more like 4'11"! Toward the end I just felt ungainly and awkward...achy and tired... ready to have that kid! The room is finished, clothes are washed, "prep" is done, bag is packed, hubby is "on call" and then you just... wait.

No real suggestions except...
- take a long warm bath each night b/c you won't be able to do so for a while
- get a pedi... sounds wierd, but it made me feel more "lady-like" during a wonderful, but let's face it, not "lady like" activity. I couldn't see my toes by the end, let alone reach them so it was relaxing and great!
- go out to dinner with your husband for the same reason as the bath
- if you like to read... hit the library and stock-up on titles you would like to read! Get yourself on the 'wait list' for the new arrivals. The baby will sleep a lot and you will actually have some downtime and you need to relax during that time
- get some meals into the freezer, if you can. Casseroles are great and I have always found cooking to be relaxing.
-make a list of things that other people can do to help in those first few weeks and post it by the phone. This was great advice that I received... people will call and ask "Can I do something"... be prepared with a response (or whoever answers the phone)! Eventually the offers stop coming, but if people feel useful and welcome to offer they will do so longer!

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I totally remember the feeling of wanting the pregnancy over (with my first, with the second I knew better - you really won't get more sleep I promise it's easier to sleep while even pregnant and totally uncomfortable (well not easier but you will probably be getting more sleep now than when baby comes!). Keep in mind that for the most part (I believe God) won't let your baby get too big to deliver. I'm short and mine were 8 and 9 lbs (and I actually tore more with the smaller baby). Also the BEST thing to keep in mind is that babies normally start sleeping "through the night" when they reach about 10lbs so the bigger they are when they are born means the sooner they will sleep longer through the night (this was VERY true in my case and there was a lb difference, my 9 lb baby slept GREAT through the night very quickly, and my 7lb6oz took until 9 months to sleep more than 6/7 hrs!) So that made me feel better about having a "large" baby :) Anyways, I know it's hard but the baby WILL come when he/she's ready and I wouldn't let yourself or your dr talk you into induction unless it's truly necessary - just my advice! Even if you go one more month I promise it will be okay and you won't regret it later on. good luck and have a happy birth!! :)

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At this point in the pregnancy I think it's completely normal to be a little emotionally unstable. You're not sleeping well, all your joints are looser, your back hurts, and you're trying to get ready to have a new baby in your home. I'm 26 wks pregnant and I just want to give you a big hug.

As far as the big baby goes, I have heard that the ways they use to measure an unborn baby usually end up overestimating how big the baby really is, so it's likely your baby is smaller than you've been told. I am 5'3" and I've had three babies. The biggest one was 7 1/2 lbs and I didn't tear at all with him or his 7 lb sister, and my labors were fast and pretty easy. The most difficult one was my first, because she was face-up and had her hand come out with her head, but I still made it through okay with no drugs and only a tiny tear. And ironically she was the smallest at 6 lbs 11 oz, so it's really not the size of the baby that's important.

You are going to get through this and in just a few short weeks you will have a tiny new baby!

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Is this your first child? I'm going to guess it is. These feelings are completely normal - you're on the verge of one of the biggest life changes!

Take things slowly for now and really REALLY appreciate a life that is "your own" because, pretty soon, for the next 18+ years it won't be. Now, I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but it is going to be a very long time before you can go to the bathroom in peace, take a long shower, sit in your own home and do your own thing without worrying about another individual.

Literally sit in your home and enjoy the silence. Enjoy just being alone with your thoughts. Toward the end of my pregnancy I would sit in my son's room, turn on the mobile, and just rock back and forth in the glider. I would wonder how my life was going to change. I thought about all the gifts I had in life and just felt really glad and really lucky. It was the peace and quiet I needed prior to the fun insanity that was about to happen.

Your life is about the become a beautiful whirlwind, so enjoy the calm you have now :)

Trust that your body will be able to do this, even if you are small and the baby looks big. The u/s is not always accurate. Ask your doc how accurate he is with his estimate. Anyway, sounds like you need some positive thinking. I agree with Lori B's post.
Not sure if you are planning a vaginal birth or c-section. But, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin is very positive in that the first half of the book is birth stories. The reason why half of her book is other mom's birth stories is that the birthing process requires you to believe and trust in your body. Don't let your doc scare you.

The last weeks of pregnancy can be so frustrating! But your doc is right - you need to try to keep your anxiety down, relax and enjoy your last bit of time and just you and your hubby: your world is about to radically change :)

Are you using a body pillow when sleeping? If not, get one of the good ones from BabyCenter.com - the curved ones that are really set up to help a pregnant woman feel more comfortable (the straight ones don't do a thing for me and being 8 months along, I really need the support). That might help you get some rest. No caffine after 5pm and try to read before going to sleep instead of the tv - it might calm your mind a bit.

Keeping the baby in utero until at least 38 weeks is best for him/her - it gives their lungs a chance to fully develop. Bake the bun as long as you can :)

Do you know how to knit/crochet/embroider? Now is a good time to start a new project to keep your hands/mind busy after work. Try to get out and see friends. Go to the movies! Go get mani/pedis while you can :) Do whatever it takes for you to relax and feel better. You're almost there.

Good luck!!! :) And early congrats on your impending bundle of joy!!

Congratulations! First of all, relax... These feelings are normal. Pretty soon it will all be over, and you will miss those kicks and hiccups going on inside you. I have two month old, and I miss that sometimes. Other times, when she is fussy, I wish I could stick her back in there...lol
Enjoy this exciting time- it's all about to change!! Get lots of rest- that's something that you won't have for quite some time, and you'll need all your strength for the birth and the baby.
Best of luck to you!

Read a good book! I read Gone With the Wind as I was winding down those last days before my first was born. I know you are stressed but TRY to enjoy it-stress and all. The time before and right after my first child was born was easily the most special period of my life.

First... congrats!

I am RIGHT There with you. My due date is NOV 4th! That is THIS THURSDAY... and my child is measuring large but he won't turn and get in position. (arrghhhhhhhH!)

I thought for sure I would be looking at this little guy before Halloween. No such luck.

Take it a day at a time. Get a baby book -- Carters makes nice ones, Hallmark does too.. Pennylane... ones that are three ring binders but have a nice amount of pre-made pages. They have the "about Mom" "about Dad" "my family tree" "names we considered".. You can also write some free hand letters to him/her about your feelings for the book - how nervous you are, how excited you are, what you're looking forward to, etc. It will be a great outlet for you to release stress and wonderful for your child to have when they get older. Plus it makes good busy work. Something else to bring to the hospital so you can record it all.

Obviously make sure your cameras are charged, memory cards are empty, cell phones are charged up, over night bag packed, etc.

Would your OB let you go get a prenatal massage? Those are HEAVENLY.. they have a pillow with a cut-out for your belly, so it's one of the rare times you get to lay on your stomach comfortably.

Take a long, relaxing bath. Not too hot.. but a bath, light some candles, turn down the lights and just enjoy some of the time you have before you're in full day to day Mommy mode.

Good luck - the last month is the LONGEST... but once it passes it will all seem like a blur.

If you feel anxious, try making lists. For instance, if you're worried you don't have the right supplies for baby, make a list of all that you have and anything you might have forgotten. Make lists of meals that will be easy to fix when baby arrives. Etc. Etc. That will help give you more a sense of control over everything.

And I can reassure you on baby size. I was told with both of my kids I was measuring small. Well, my first was 8 lbs. 9 oz. and second was 8 lbs. 12 oz. A friend of mine measured huge and had a baby under 6 lbs. There's no accurate way to know until baby arrives.

Good luck! In no time, you won't even have time to be anxious, you'll be so busy with your new baby. :)

Looks loke you have a gotten a lot of great advice! First and foremost don't stress! It will be what it will be... :-) Don't have your baby so early, it is likely to bring about complications that will be much longer than a c-section recovery if the baby is too big to come out! I am 5'3 and of very small hips. From the first pregnancy the doctor told me I had high chances of getting a c-section. I had 6 pregnancies, 6 babies, and all healthy and no c-section! My doctors refused to induce me prior to the baby's due date as we were both healthy which sounds like you all are! :-) Your feelings are normal but you cannot let them run you. Stay busy and active and conduct your life as usual. When the baby is ready, it'll come out. I had friends who were all anxious that the baby was going to be too big, rip them, etc, were induced 3 weeks early and the babies all had colic! There is a reason why babies take 9 months to "cook." I always felt like I had a hard time breathing and my stomach was going to pop in the last month... but it didn't! My first one was 7lb 13oz, second one 8lbs 3.4oz, 3rd-8ls 4 oz, 4th-9lbs 5 oz, 5th-8lbs 8oz, and the last one was 9lbs 9oz! You can do it. Just relax and think about your breathing when you are in labor. In the meantime, relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Best wishes and God bless!!

First of all, do not worry that your stress is harming the baby. It is not! I think keeping busy is a great idea. I don't think I felt exactly as you do when I was at the end of my pregnancy, but I do remember feeling a little stressed about all the stuff that needed done. I agree with the advice about writing down lists - sometimes it helps me a great deal just to organize my thoughts. Some pampering or time with friends could be helpful too.

Another suggestion - it's a bit cheesy, but you might try googling, "self hypnosis relaxation" or something like that. I listened to them when I was having some anxiety due to the hormonal changes of weaning my son and it really did help me! Sometimes I'd fall asleep. Some physical activity could help if you are up for it - a nice walk outside during your lunch hour for example. Hang in there and try to imagine holding that baby in your arms!

Lots of caring moms here! I'm 5'1 and want to encourage you that you will not have a baby bigger than you can deliver. My midwife told me that very thing because my husband is 6'5". It's true! Even though my son was 8'4oz. it was the most amazing thing I've ever done and completely natural at age 39 no less. If I can do it so can you.

Okay, for distraction therapy: something valuable to do besides nesting.
With your first baby, think about checking into breastfeeding. I had no idea there were different "holds" like the football hold for the baby to be in before attaching. Get a good book to scan, look at the pictures, go on You Tube. Go to LeLeche League meeting and see other moms with babies.

Now for your comfort: you need extra care--baths, massage, pedicures, walks, be with nature, get fresh flowers. I know you may want to cut a hold in your mattress to sleep on your tummy again. You will soon! Use pillows, drink chamomile tea at night before going to bed to relax. Wanting the baby out is Mother Nature's way of getting ready for birth.

For your baby: Did you know the baby's brain develops at a phenomenal rate week to week? Yes, the gray matter and white matter is essential for life outside of the womb. Don't we all want the best children possible? That's why you need to avoid induction (done with Pitocin). Allowing labor to kick in on it's own is a gift to you and your child.

Labor is around the corner. Think about the kind of birth you want. You can envision positive outcomes as well as talk to your baby. Hope this helps. For more info see BirthingaBetterWay.com

May you have the birth of your life! May it be filled with joy and love.

Sonograms are very inaccurate when it comes to determining size! A friend of mine was induced early because she supposedly had a 9 lb baby. The baby was born healthy, 2 weeks early and 6 lbs.

The last few weeks are really hard. I know your desperate to be through with pregnancy, yet wanting to have a healthy baby. Don't worry, soon enough your baby will be here, healthy and in your arms! Try to relax, not worry, and get as much rest as you can.

Yes, it's normal, but the doctor is right. Calming down will HELP all the way around.

It's not like we live back in the day of C-sections being dangerous to the mother's health. If you unable to vaginally deliver because of the baby's size, you'll still be holding that baby in your arms soon. Be thankful for medicine's progress, and trust your doctor to take care of you. That will help your stress level and make this last few weeks tolerable.

Meanwhile, rejoice in the upcoming birth by getting all your duckies in a row - nesting, cooking and freezing, lists of addresses and phone numbers to call, all of that. You're coming down the stretch for the big day. You'll do great. And yes, it will all be worth it!

Thinking of you,
D.

Bless your heart, your feelings are completely normal. I prayed every night during the last month of my first pregnancy that I would wake up with labor pains. Please listen to your doctor and try to remain calm, catch up on reading, writing thank you notes, folding baby clothes, organizing photo albums, in other words..all of the things you won't have time to do once the baby does arrive. Get plenty of rest and feel relaxed in knowing that the longer the baby is in your belly she/he is growing healthier and will be better prepared for life outside. Good luck and God bless!

I know exactly how you feel. I had anxiety towards the end of my second pregnancy. I was mostly okay during the day, but at night is when it kicked in, and I couldn't sleep. (I think part of my issue was that I went into labor in the middle of the night with my first so I guess subconsciously I got anxious that it would happen again, and I wouldn't be ready). My OB recommended Tylenol PM (since it is safe for baby), and it did help me sleep, which is SUPER important right before the baby is born because you won't be getting a lot of sleep afterwards, and you'll need your energy for labor.

Your feelings are totally normal. Having a baby is the biggest life changing event you will probably ever go through so it is commen to be anxious toward the end, right before your life changes forever (for the better). Keep in mind that a lot of small women have bigger babies, and they do just fine during the birthing process. Our bodies are made to have babies, and we wouldn't carry a baby larger than our bodies could tolerate. Doctors tend to err on the side of caution, which is fine, but they can make us more nervous than we need to be.

Enjoy these last few days/weeks as much as you can. Keep yourself busy. Get a pedicure. Go shopping. Take a walk. The busier you are (but don't overdo it), the less time you'll have to sit around and be anxious. I know for me, the fresh air and movement (especially now that it is cooler outside) helped a lot. Also, walking can bring on labor...

Good luck!

I was soooo ready to have my babies by the last month. I also am short and my son was large. The only advice I can say is hang in there,and let your baby cook as long as possible. Besides body size and weight other things are still developing in there, like their lungs and 5 weeks is still pretty early. 38 weeks would be nice! I agree with what another Mama wrote about getting a pedicure. I did that the day before my son was born and it felt wonderful!! I also got a pregnancy massage at 36 weeks with both my kid's and that gfelt heavenly as well.

Good luck...You're almost there!!!!!!