Third Child and Keeping a Schedule

As a mom with a daughter in 2nd grade and 3 yr old and a 1 yr old it is very difficult to get the two younger ones up and feed and dressed and care for my oldest daughter. The hardest is during the winter when I have to wrap everyone up and put them in a car to get her there. Imagine doing that when the little one's both have the flu and you have to drag them out of bed to get an older child to school. It wasn't bad when I only had just one little one but any mom with two little one's will tell you its difficult. If I could of I would of spaced two in school and wait longer to have a 3rd little one. But sometimes Surprises just so up. How I helped. I'd suggest waiting til your 2 yr old is atleast 4 yrs-5 yrs before adding another infant.

It's worked out fine for us. We have 3 boys, 5, 3, and 1. When #3 came, #1 was in PreK4 in the mornings. I'd take him to AM preschool (with everyone in the car), come home, put #3 down for his 9a nap, I'd play with #2 (wonderful 1-on-1 time), #3 wakes up, #2 and #3 come with me to get #1 at school, everyone has lunch, #2 and #3 have 1p nap, 1-on-1 time with #1, everyone wakes up and we play, make dinner, everyone eats, #3 goes to bed 6:30p, and #2 and #3 go to bed around 7:30p. If anything, I just found that there is not as much 1-on-1 time with #3 - That will come this fall when #2 is 3 years old and in PreK3 in the mornings and #1 is in all day Kindergarten - so then I'll get #3 all to myself in the mornings. I'll get #2 from school at 11:30a, spend lunch with him and #3, then #1 comes home (schoolbus) later ~3p while the other 2 are napping. It is definitely a juggling act and you have to find a combo of schools (if you are doing different preschool and elementary) so that you can make the schedules jive with yours (or the neighbors' carpool or the schoolbus). GOOD LUCK! It is possible. And wonderful.

Go for it......you cant worry about schedules yet til new baby comes.....he/she will let you in on the schedule when they arrive then he/she will change the schedule on you just when you are getting into the routine.....i had 3 in 3 years.....now they are 2, 3.5, 5.......things are crazy & chaotic at all times....they gang up on me too........but we have fun & they all are best friends!!!! what more could you want.

Yes, three kids will make everything harder. You and hubby are outnumbered.

My 4th child just kind of adapted being in the car so much and my 3rd child did not do well. You really don't know until you have the child what kind of personality they have and how well (or not) they adapt. You have to be home in the beginning for those naps for you and the baby. It's not so bad, kind of a nice change from running around so much, but it is a change in everyone's schedule. I was the emergency contact for many of my friends' kids one year because they knew I would be home a lot.

The scheduling will be tricky, but I wouldn't let that keep you from doing what you think is best. Just as soon as you get them on a schedule, it changes anyway!

The biggest change I found from having the third is that the first and second kid don't get all the attention. Someone is always left out because you have to focus on the baby. It's not bad for them to learn that they aren't the center of attention all the time.

M.

Hi M.,

I am due in less than two weeks with baby #4....What worked for me great is a carpool with a neighbor. I emailed my neighbors asking if anyone was intrested! It is GREAT!

M.,

I'll better be able to answer your question come December as I am due with #3 in October. I say don't sweat the small stuff. If you decide to go with #3 things will work out. Sure there will be chaotic days and struggles with schedules but that's all short term in the grand scheme of things. Besides, your 4 year old will likely be 5 or 6 by the time you have #3...that means more car pooling and school time, allowing you more time with the baby.

Just remember, when we were all couples without kids, we fretted about how we were going to incorporate kids into OUR lives. Little did we know that we'd have to adjust so much to THEIR schedules. I think the same will hold true with a baby. You can't predict the future or how things will go.

The baby will be in a car seat for a good 6 mos that you can carry. So the baby could nap in the car seat so you could pick up your children if need be or you can arrange to car pool with another mom for pickups.

I think subsequent kids just get more used to sleeping anywhere and everywhere. From most of my friends it sounds like we were more regimented with our first - naps in a crib at home, stricter about nursing and feeding times, etc. I think when you are juggling more kids at different ages and you have more experience under your belt, you just go with the flow. And from what I hear, most "later" kids seem more relaxed because of it. They don't get the attention, and feeding/napping on demand like our first ones did.

Hope this helps.

Sara

I think you'll all just adjust. I only have two and they are 9 years apart, and my younger was never on a set schedule. Her older sister was always needing to be taken to school, picked up, driven to events, was in sports, etc. She adjusted without ever having a good set schedule, and she's a happy 11-year-old now.