The "Talker"

Updated on March 22, 2012
H.F. asks from Colorado Springs, CO
8 answers

Ever met a person that LOVES LOVES to talk about themselves. But, when you want to talk they dont listen?

My boss is like this! I will try and tell her something about my family and she consistenly cuts me off to keep talking about herself. I cant get a word in.
It makes me mad because my family is important to me, and she should care what I have to say. I was trying to tell her my daughter was sick yesterday for about 30 mins and finally piece by piece I got it in.

What do you do with people like this? Just shut up and listen to them? My mother in law is like this too! You could literally call her and say nothing but hi and bye and she would still talk for an hour.

What can I do next?

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Email her. If she is wasting time that you need to do your job I would interrupt and say: Sorry I have a meeting to get ready for. Keep the conversation on work. She is not your friend.

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Short of getting another job, there's nothing you can do about your boss.
If anything, pretending to be interested in her monologue might be beneficial to your career. She's paying you to be her audience, take the money and smile politely.

As for people who are NOT your boss, it's easy enough to mute your phone, put it on speaker and let them prattle on.
Or after 5 or 10 min you can say "Gotta go now. The police are at my door (or house is burning down, or I've got to dash for the bathroom NOW.) Luv-ya-Bye!" and hang up.
If there's something you really need to tell them, text or email them.

2 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Sometimes I am The talker - you just have to say, Hey! I need to tell you this then we can get back to your story, but this is important.

1 mom found this helpful

J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I was going to ask if you had met my mother, lol!

I actually started telling my mother very important things while I knew she watching sports. (She would yell at the TV in the middle of our conversation. And don't say anything about the yelling, I do the same thing, lol!) Then when she's all "You didn't tell me that!!" I'll say "Yes I did, you were watching *insert sport here*. I remember because you yelled at *insert player here* for *insert infraction here*."

She tends to pay a bit more attention now, lol!

1 mom found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Ugh. KNow what you mean.
Kind of makes you want to chew your own arm off and beat yourself with it, doesn't it? LOL
My MIL is like this....
I often have to end conversations abruptly. I can tell when I'm maxed out b/c my stomach starts to churn....

As for your boss--put up with it is all you can really do or limit exposure!

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

yes, i went through a phase where i seemed to have a neon sign over my head attracting these types. it's absolutely one of my pet peeves. i think the gods sent them to me to force me to deal with it.
i don't think returning their discourtesy in kind is okay, and most of them are needy and desperate to be heard. but i've learned how to nicely and firmly avoid associating with them at all. which is good, because once i'm in their grip, i'm still not good at escaping.
it's an ongoing quest.
but really, what's the point in sharing important stuff with someone who clearly isn't interested? did she gain some compassion for you or your daughter by your careful injection of your news into the conversation? whether or not she *should* care, she clearly doesn't. so cut your losses and share what you need to discuss with people who care about you, and find ways of ducking the 'talkers'.
khairete
S.

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Try communicating by email...it's one way communication and then you have it writing since she's not listening!

You just have to tolerate people like this...you won't change her. Save your deep discussions for your other friends.

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S.E.

answers from New York on

its your boss so u cant really do much,same with your mother in law... i had a friend like that.. notice i say HAD ...its really obnoxious how some people think youre there to listen to all their b.s. but god forbid u need to talk about something it somehow turns into a story about them

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